Chapter 17
Villain
The night is loud.
It’s the loudest it’s been since we’ve been here, or maybe I’m just fully alert for the first time. I didn’t drink or smoke today. Dinner was crackers and some shit Ari called bresaola.
Now, we’re in bed listening to the waves crash against the shore, steady as a heartbeat. The leaves over us shift in the wind.
Ari’s beside me. When she moves, her arm brushes mine. A tiny spark in the dark.
“You smell like me,” she murmurs.
Her voice is sexy as fuck.
“I didn’t have my soap. Had to use yours.”
Earlier, I washed while she cleaned up the letters I made. I wasn’t prepared at all, but I couldn’t let the opportunity pass me by. She said she didn’t look, but I don’t believe that.
“I hate to bring this up,” she says, “but I think we only have another few days worth of food.”
The words land heavy. I stare at the roof and blow out a breath, trying to muster up some optimism.
I think I’m fresh out.
“If it comes down to it, I’ll fish. Or hunt.”
She props her head on her hand, looking down at me. “With what? You don’t have poles. Or a gun.”
“Don’t need ‘em. I’ll spear a muhfucka if I got to.” I stare up into her eyes. “The last thing I’ma do is let you starve out here.”
She settles on her back again, staring up at the leaf canopy. “Big promises.”
“Which I always keep.”
Silence stretches. Not uncomfortable. The opposite, really. Which is different for me.
Laying up with Shemari, I swear to God, that girl was always yappin’. She hates when it’s quiet. I don’t know how she does it after being with JR all day. I know his loud ass be disturbing the peace. You’d think she’d relish the quiet, but nah. Yap, yap, yap.
“What’s your deal?”
I turn my head toward Ari.
“How did Vincent Newcastle become Villain?”
“Oh, you want a nigga’s life story, huh?”
“Might as well. I need something to put me to sleep.”
I laugh at that. “Always with the jokes.”
“Seriously,” she says softly. “I’m listening.”
“It ain’t no fascinating story, really. My cousin Crown…the one who was…on the…”
“Got it,” she reassures.
I take a deep breath. “He was trying to rap. He was at that shit for a while. I went to the studio with him one day and started freestylin’ on a beat while the engineer was on a break. The producer was like aye, run that back. So I did. And the rest is history, I suppose.”
She’s quiet for a minute. “How did your cousin take it?”
I bristle at that, the memories still too fresh. “Honestly? I been payin’ for that shit for ten years.”
“You got discovered at seventeen?”
“Yep.”
She’s quiet for a beat. “What do you mean by ‘paying’?”
“I mean, I been carrying around a guilty conscience. Every chance I got, I was trying to make it up to him. Bought him a car, a condo, tried to hook him up with producers and managers. And he ain’t never say shit about being upset, but I could always tell it was some tension there.”
“Sorry.”
“It is what it is. Or was.”
I shake my head, scrub a hand down my face, and stare at the leaves. “It’s whatever.”
I turn onto my side to face her. “And what about you? How you end up here?”
Her eyes glint in the moonlight. “Me and my sister were both bottle girls in college. To help pay for tuition.”
“Your twin, right?”
“Mm hm.”
I can’t help but grin at the thought. “I still can’t believe it’s two of y'all. Goddamn. Pretty ass twins in tight outfits serving liquor. I know all them bills were paid.”
She smacks my arm, giggling softly. “I’ll never understand the twin thing. Y’all are so weird for that. Anyway, we modeled a little, too. Then after graduation, we started working on yachts. That was so much fun.”
She shifts in place, getting comfortable. Her leg brushes mine, another spark in the dark that makes my heart beat faster.
“My sister met her husband at a yacht club. I could have, but I was more interested in networking. I figured I’d get married way down the line.
Anyway, an old rich white man got me hooked up with Echelon.
The money was insane, and I got to see the world.
The only tradeoff was that I didn’t have time for much else. ”
I cock my head. “So you’re motivated by money.”
“Not entirely,” she says, her tone softer. “I liked being free. Not tied down. I don’t know that I’m cut out for my sister’s life. It would take a special man to get me to sit down somewhere.”
“Is Lucas that man?”
Even in the dark, I can see her eyes roll. “His name is Luca.”
“Stupid ass name.”
“Whatever. And I don’t know if he is yet.”
I wanna ask why, but it ain’t like me to be all chatty patty about shit. Besides, it don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. That nigga is a thousand miles away with a stupid ass name while this nigga is laying right here with a long tongue, a big dick, and plenty of time to kill.
“You know what’s funny?” she says. “That was my last flight. I was getting ready to go back to school to get my master’s.”
I huff out a laugh. “Aye, that’s like the ending of every hood movie. The main character be like, ‘I’m sick of this shit. I’m movin’ out the hood tomorrow.’ Then he gets shot in the neck.”
She pushes me playfully, grazing my chest before pulling away. Accident or nah? I can’t decide.
“You play too much.”
“Going back to school makes sense, though,” I say. “You seem real smart.”
She looks away while the night buzzes and hums around us.
The she asks, “Do you miss her? Your fiancée?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“You don’t really talk about her.”
I ease closer to her, just enough to be able to deny my intent if she asks. “She was a one-night stand I seeded up. I stuck around because I ain’t want my son to be from a broken home. That’s all.”
“Seeded up?”
“Yeah. That’s how I talk.”
“I see.” She swats a mosquito away. “So you don’t love her?”
I hesitate before I answer. “What does it even mean to love somebody?”
Her eyes lock on mine. “If I knew, I would have been in love by now.”
The words sit between us. I stare at her face, what little of it I can see in the sliver of moonlight, and my hand twitches with the urge to cup her chin and pull her to me. Real quick, before I can help myself, I lean closer, just close enough that my lips almost graze hers.
Her eyes flick down, then back up, and it feels like we’re both holding our breath.
But at the last second, I stop.
I clear my throat. “Do you wanna fall in love?”
Her voice comes back barely louder than a whisper. “I do. But I don’t know if it’s in the cards for me.”
I take a breath. “Same.”
Whether she means to or not, her hand brushes mine before she rolls onto her back, breathing deep, eyes shut tight like it’s gonna help her fall asleep faster.
I don’t even try to fake the funk, I just stare at the outline of her face in the moonlight, trying to figure out why I punked out when I should have kissed her.