Chapter 29
Vincent
I swear to God, this fuckin’ forest is tilting when I walk.
Every step I take, it turns a different direction. My head feels heavy and light at the same damn time. I lowkey don’t even feel like I’m walking. I feel like I’m dragging my legs behind me.
This shit is my fault, though. Ari told me yesterday, and I brushed that shit off. She said her pee was brown, but I thought she was mistaken. How she even know what color it is out here in the dirt?
I should have done something then. I shoulda came looking. Instead, I sat there hoping it would rain, staring up at the empty sky like a fuckin’ idiot.
My daddy used to say a man takes care of business.
That’s all he did, really. Say shit. But that stuck with me.
Most of the time I handle shit. That’s all I do back home.
Handle shit. My auntie’s car needing new tires.
My aunt and uncle needing a new roof on the house.
Shemari needing to go shopping. Jahir’s tuition.
JR’s, too. Boy ain’t even two years old and already in private school.
Studio time for Tek. Crown’s mortgage and car note. I always, always handle shit.
But not yesterday.
Now I’m stumbling through the trees trying to fix it when it might be too late.
I ain’t been this out of it since Crown’s thirtieth birthday party when I took too much molly.
The air is thick out here. My shirt sticks to my skin. Every breath I take, I feel like I’m being waterboarded. I tie the shirt strips on branches while I go, just like I did last time, but it feels so much harder now than it did then.
I tell myself I’m walking in a straight line, but it’s hard to tell anymore. The trees all look the same, blurring together, greens and browns and flashes of light.
My throat hurts.
I stop and lean against a trunk, chest heaving. Sweat trickles into my eyes.
“Come on,” I say to myself. “Keep moving.”
I push off, dragging my feet through leaves and dirt. My muscles twitch. My vision doubles, then clears, then blurs, then doubles again. I don’t even know if I’m awake anymore. Feels like I’m walking through a dream that doesn’t make sense.
Every now and then, I see flashes of colors. Orange. Blue. White. Could be my eyes playing tricks. Or my brain.
Fuck. I can’t die out here. That ain’t no kinda death for a rapper. I’m supposed to die in a hail of gunfire or from a drug overdose, not from fuckin’ dehydration. Pussy ass death. Nah. I gotta focus. I gotta keep going.
I don’t know how long I’ve been walking. Feels like hours. The sun is still high, still beating down on me through the trees. My backpack feels heavier with every step, even though it’s almost empty.
Then I hear it.
A faint sound, buried under the noise of the forest. It ain’t wind. It ain’t the waves. It’s steady. Soft.
I freeze.
Tilt my head.
There it is again.
It’s water trickling.
My heart thumps so hard, I start coughing. Then I start jogging, or trying to. My legs ain’t workin’ right, but I press on. I trip. Catch myself. Keep going. The sound gets louder until I break through a patch of brush.
And there it is.
A stream.
Clear and running.
I fall to my knees in the mud and scoop a handful up before I can think. It’s cold and perfect and I can’t stop. I drink until my stomach cramps, then I pull out the empty water bottles from my backpack. One by one, I fill them, my hands shaking the whole time.
After all the caps are screwed on tight, I sit there for a minute, dizzy with relief. My energy is recharging like God just plugged me back in.
When I finally stand, I’m a little shaky still, but it’s faster going back than it was coming.
My stomach cramps harder, twisting and turning so much, I stumble again. Fuck. I guess I drank too fast.
Maybe.
Unless…
Yeah, I don’t know.
Somethin’ ain’t right.
I pass the shirt scraps. I’m moving faster now, because I have a feeling I know what’s coming. Sweat’s pouring down my face and back. Hands shaking. Stomach twisting itself inside out.
By the time I see the outline of the shelter through the trees, my whole body is shaking.
“Ari,” I try to call out, but it comes out cracked, like her name broke in half on its way out of my mouth.
I step into the clearing, sunlight illuminating my path. She’s there, lying in the shade, arm draped over her eyes.
“I got it,” I manage to say. “I got…water…”
Before I can take another step, my stomach flips and all the water I drank surges up my throat. I barely have time to bend over before it all comes shooting out.
I drop to my knees, gasping, head spinning as the world tilts again, and this time, I can’t tell which way is up.