Chapter 44 Ari
Ari
Vincent blows out a shaky breath. “We need to start packing.”
I nod. My voice isn’t working yet, so I follow him through the trees to the home we made, looking around in disbelief.
We move slowly, collecting what’s left of our lives here. Some of the things I pick up—the ponchos, the bamboo clothesline, the lighter—I end up putting back because I realize we won’t need them.
Vincent is sitting at the edge of the shelter with his head down when I finish zipping up my bag. I walk over to him, grabbing his face in my hands.
“What’s wrong?”
He gestures vaguely. “What’s gonna happen to…them?” he asks quietly. “We just gon’ leave ‘em out here?”
I swallow hard. “Somebody will bring them home. I promise.”
He nods, but he doesn’t look convinced. His eyes stay fixed in the direction of the wreckage like he expects the dead to walk out of the woods and greet us here.
I sit next to him, shifting until my stomach is comfortable. Another round of tears overtakes me, but I have no idea why I’m crying. I can’t even tell if I’m happy or not.
I look at Vincent when I hear him sniffle.
I reach over to hug him but he goes to his knees.
At first, I think he’s praying, but then I see what he’s holding—a baggy of pills, and a tiny bag of white powder.
He digs a small hole with his hands and drops them both in before covering it up with sand and dirt, pressing it flat.
His sits back on his heels and lets out a long breath as he looks back at me. “They might be coming to help us, but I’m still a nigga. Can’t take no chances.”
We’re both silent as we look around our camp. The firepit. The clothesline. The path our feet wore in the ground that leads to the stream. So many memories are stitched into this place.
I feel strange, and I don’t know how to explain or make sense of it.
He stands and reaches for my hand. With both of our bags in hand, he leads me back to the beach. Back to the promise of home.
We pass the HELP sign, which is indecipherable now. The sign, the arrow…all blurred into lumps of nothing. That’s what my mind feels like right now…blurred senselessness.
And I don’t know how to feel.