Chapter 10
We’re walking Olly when I tell Dot about the idea I’ve had.
‘So you’d take him back to live with us permanently?’ she asks.
‘I’m not sure. It just seems like Kirsty’s got a lot on her plate with Dotty and the pregnancy, so I thought I could offer.
It could be temporary or permanent, whatever she prefers.
It would have to wait until we get back from America…
’ I trail off, thinking about Erin and how unsure I am about leaving her.
‘What is it?’ Dot asks. ‘Is it Erin?’
I love that she so often knows what I’m thinking, that I so rarely have to explain things to her. ‘I just don’t know whether it’s the right thing to go away when she’s got all this to deal with.’
‘Remember that she said she wants us to,’ Dot reminds me. ‘And that Julie said she’ll keep an eye on her, that she can move in for a bit if it helps.’
‘I know,’ I say. But it’s not the same. Erin and I have something special, and she’ll need me, won’t she?
We reach a bench by the gravestones and Dot sits down and gestures for me to do the same. ‘You’re not having second thoughts about the whole thing?’
‘No,’ I say, making sure my voice is firm. ‘No, I’m so excited. I just want to be sure I’m doing the right thing.’
‘Well, think it over for the next day or two. Talk to Erin again, maybe. Sean is keen to book soon, in case the prices shoot up, but we have a bit of time. I will understand, Mabel, if you don’t feel we can go.’
‘Thank you,’ I say.
‘You know,’ she says, ‘I love dogs.’
It throws me a bit until I remember we were talking about taking Olly back from Kirsty. ‘Oh yes?’
‘Love them. I had a three-legged spaniel called Norman for fourteen years when the boys were young.’
I laugh, picturing that. And she links her arm through mine, and the warmth of her body is like a tonic.
When we drop Olly back at Kirsty’s, it seems like as good a time as any to run the idea past her. She invites us inside and we go to the huge room that’s part kitchen, part dining room and part living room. Olly settles down on the rug near the sofa.
‘Do you want tea?’ Kirsty asks.
‘No thanks,’ I say, and I can tell she’s surprised. ‘We won’t stay long. We just wanted to talk to you about something.’
‘Dot and Erin and I can keep walking Olly,’ I say. ‘Every day, between us.’
‘How is Erin?’ she asks, concern in her eyes.
‘I’ve hardly seen her,’ I say. ‘She’s gone back to her parents’ house for a bit. We’ve been texting, and I think she’s managing all right, but it was such a dreadful shock.’
‘Yes,’ Kirsty says. ‘It must have knocked her for six.’
I’m not sure how to steer the conversation back to Olly, but Dot helps me out.
‘You were saying we could keep doing the walking, Mabel.’
‘That would be great,’ Kirsty says.
‘If you want, I could take him back. Not permanently, unless you want me to. I couldn’t cope with him after Arthur died, but now I have Dot and Erin at home and I think we’d be fine, between us.
Obviously I don’t want you to think I’ve changed my mind.
I gave him to you and that still stands.
I just wondered if it would be a help, until you have the baby? ’
I’ve been rehearsing this a bit. I’m desperate for her not to take it the wrong way. I wouldn’t get another dog, not at my age, but it would be nice to have Olly around again for a few months, and I’m hoping it would be a load off for Kirsty, too.
I realise she hasn’t said anything. Olly gets up and trots over to Kirsty, as if he knows we’re talking about him, and she scratches him under the chin.
And then, to my amazement, he comes over to me.
He was always Arthur’s dog, really. Arthur was his master and his great love.
I was someone else who lived in the same house, and he didn’t much care one way or the other whether I was there.
And after Arthur died, it was like he hated me.
But perhaps he was grieving, I think now. We both were.
‘Hello, Olly,’ I say, holding out my hand for him to sniff.
He nuzzles into me, and I stroke him along his back, and he doesn’t growl or snap.
‘I think that’s our answer,’ Kirsty says. ‘If you’re sure you don’t mind, Mabel. It would be one less thing to worry about and it would save you always having to come over here to take him on a walk. He’s always been your dog, Mabel.’
‘Thank you. We’ll have to take him after our trip to America,’ I say. ‘We’ll come over in Dot’s car for all his stuff.’
And just like that, it’s settled.
* * *
A couple of days later, Dot drives us into Overbury.
Erin’s told me that she’ll never forgive herself if we don’t go to America because of her, so it’s all systems go.
We’ve fixed the dates, and Sean’s had his holiday approved and booked the flights for us, and we’ve realised there are things we need.
The trip is only a couple of weeks away, and I feel disorganised.
But mostly, I feel excited. Every time we talk about it, Dot clutches my hand and says something about how she’s sure that Geoff will love me or that she can’t wait to show me the view from the top of the Empire State Building, and there’s a part of me that barely believes it’s going to happen, but most of me knows that it is.
This is how it is with Dot; she makes everything seem possible.
We made a list this morning, and Dot made a joke about keeping it separate from that other list we’re working on.
I pull it out of my pocket. Say that I think we should start with Marks, because we both need some new clothes.
As soon as we’re inside the shop, Dot makes a beeline for a zebra-print dress and holds it up against herself.
‘What do you think, Mabel?’
‘I think your knees would get cold.’
She laughs and hangs it back up, and we wander up and down the aisles, pointing out things we think would suit each other until we both have an armful of things to try on.
We go to the changing rooms, and I think about the dozens of times I’ve been in this very shop with Arthur.
He would sit on a chair at the entrance to the changing rooms and I would come out to show him everything I put on.
He used to give me the thumbs-up or thumbs-down, and I mostly bought the things he approved of.
I can’t remember now whether that’s because those were the things I liked too, or whether I felt I needed his approval.
It’s much more fun to go in together, take neighbouring cubicles, and talk through the curtain as we go.
Dot looks radiant in everything, and I tell her so, and she says it’s nonsense but I can see she’s pleased.
And as for me, Dot tells me what she thinks but asks what I think, too, and together we whittle down to a shortlist.
‘We’re a good team,’ I say.
‘We are,’ Dot says, back in her clothes and with the things she’s going to buy draped over one arm.
We’ve paid and are about to leave the shop when I see him.
Reg Bishop. He’s someone we knew back in the day, from the dances we used to go to, and he helped me a bit with the search for Dot.
But I’ve never liked him. He suspected, all those years ago, that there was something between Dot and me, and he tried to cause trouble with Arthur at my brother Bill’s funeral.
I freeze when I see him. And Dot turns to me and then follows my gaze, and then we’re all standing there, looking at each other.
‘Dorothy Brightmore,’ Reg says. ‘I heard you were back in town.’
I wonder who he could have heard that from, but it doesn’t matter, really. It’s actually surprising that this hasn’t happened before now, with us all living in Broughton. But I don’t think he leaves his house all that much.
‘It’s Dot,’ Dot says. ‘Hello, Reg.’
There’s no warmth in her tone and I’m glad.
‘You know,’ he says, leaning in a bit closer to Dot as if he’s going to tell her a secret, ‘Mabel here was pretty keen to find you.’
I can smell onions on his breath. I’m not sure what he’s doing, only that it isn’t good. Does he want to make me feel foolish, or make her feel like she should take a step back? I wait to hear what she’ll say, knowing I have nothing to worry about.
‘And she did. All’s well that ends well.’
‘So you’re staying for a while, are you?’ Reg asks.
I want to tell him that it’s none of his business what Dot is doing, but Dot slips her hand into mine and it stills me. I see Reg noticing.
‘Forever, actually,’ she says. ‘We’re going to live out the rest of our lives together, aren’t we, Mabel?’
‘We are,’ I say, unable to keep the joy from my voice.
‘Well,’ Reg splutters, clearly not expecting this answer and unsure what to say next.
Did he think we would be ashamed? That we would hide our love for one another now, as we did all those decades ago?
‘We must be off now,’ Dot says. ‘We’re shopping for our upcoming holiday in America.’
‘America?’ Reg scoffs. ‘Aren’t we all a bit long in the tooth for a trip like that?’
Dot laughs, leans in close the way he did. ‘You might be, but we’re not. I want to stand at the top of the Empire State Building with the woman I love, and there’s no age limit on that. Goodbye, Reg.’
When we’re out in the street, we both burst into laughter, and when I look back I see that he’s still standing there, mouth gaping.
‘What a silly old fool,’ Dot says.
When we first saw him, I was filled with dread, but now there’s this euphoria bubbling inside me, and it’s all down to Dot and the way she shows our love off like the beautiful thing it is.
‘Let’s go to Boots,’ I say. ‘For those little toiletries and any medical things we might need.’
‘Lead the way, Mabel,’ she says.