Chapter 19
We’re back in Broughton and I feel like I’ve been hit with a brick.
I’ve never known exhaustion like it. Still, I keep telling myself that the holiday was worth feeling like this.
It was magical. Dot’s feeling worse than me, though, and I’m starting to wonder whether she’s caught something on the aeroplane.
I’ve read about how common that is, with that same air being pumped around the cabin for the duration of the flight.
I make her a cup of tea and take it upstairs.
The light’s off in our bedroom and at first I think she’s fast asleep.
I’m about to back out when she says my name, and it’s like a croak.
‘It’s me, Dot,’ I say. ‘Just thought I’d bring you a tea.’
She props herself up and says thank you, but it leads to a coughing fit.
‘I think maybe you should see a doctor,’ I say.
She bats a hand. ‘It will just be a virus. Rest and fluids and paracetamol, that’s what they’ll suggest. And we’ve got that covered, haven’t we?’
I’m unsure. I think about the way Arthur died, so suddenly. A bit of pain in his chest one day and gone the next. Anything can turn serious when you’re our age. But I can’t make her go, can I? ‘Promise you’ll let me know if things get worse.’
‘I promise,’ she says.
I hear a knock on the front door and glance at her.
‘Go,’ she says. ‘It’ll be Julie, or Erin.
She’ll have forgotten her key. I’m fine up here, and I’ll call if I need you.
’ She waves her mobile telephone at me, and I smile at the thought of her ringing me from upstairs, but it’s a good idea because her voice is almost gone so she won’t be able to shout.
It’s Julie. She flings her arms around me and tells me it’s fantastic to have me home.
‘But what about your home, Julie?’ I ask.
She pulls a face, a sort of wince. ‘I think we need a cup of tea before we get into all that, don’t you?’
She insists on making it while I sit down, so I look out of the window while I wait.
It’s a bit cooler than it was in New York, but pleasant enough.
I see a cat running off down the street with another one in hot pursuit, and then a couple of joggers, red in the face and panting.
Then Julie’s back with tea and fig rolls and it makes me realise that I’m hungry.
My body’s all over the place, with the time difference. I reach for a biscuit.
‘I can’t stop him selling it,’ Julie says. ‘Martin, I mean. The house. But it will be a real jolt. We lived there our whole marriage. I can’t imagine calling somewhere else home. And the valuation isn’t great – I’ll probably end up with a dingy flat with my half of the proceeds.’
‘Oh Julie,’ I say. She works hard and she’s kind.
She doesn’t deserve to live somewhere horrible.
But then, who does? I could offer her money.
I’ve thought about it in the past. I don’t have a lot but I have enough, and what do I need it for?
But we’re friends, and I don’t want to offend her.
Money can be such a tricky subject. I’ll talk to Dot about it later, see what she thinks.
‘I should have seen it coming,’ she says. ‘I just didn’t really think about it. He’d already left and was starting a family with someone else. I didn’t consider that there was more hurt to come.’
‘Have you got a solicitor?’ I ask. ‘You need to make sure everything’s done fairly.’
‘I have. A friend got divorced a couple of years ago and she recommended the woman she used. We’ll get there, Mabel. It’s just a bit hard at the moment.’
I nod, take another biscuit.
‘You know, it always makes me feel better when I talk about something with you,’ she says.
‘Does it? Even when I don’t have any solutions to offer?’
‘It’s not always about solutions. It’s about someone really listening, and caring, and being there to help if they can.’
‘Well, that I can do.’
‘Is Erin still in her exam?’ she asks.
‘I’m expecting her back any minute,’ I say.
It’s English today, and I’ve been on pins ever since she left, hoping she’s not finding it too hard.
She’s got her period and she had terrible cramps last night and I just wanted to be able to tell her to stay in bed and forget about everything, but of course I couldn’t.
There are only a couple more exams left and I’ll be glad when they’re over.
I’m still not certain it was the right thing to go ahead with them, so soon after losing her mum, but she’s keen not to repeat a year if she doesn’t have to.
Just then, there’s a shuffling noise and I hear the key in the lock, and she’s back. Grinning all over her face.
‘Hi, Julie, hi, Mabel, I totally aced that one!’
I get up and give her a hug.
‘Not many to go now, kid,’ Julie says.
When we got back, I saw that Julie had made a little chart with all Erin’s exams marked on it. Erin goes into the kitchen, and I know she’s gone to cross this one off.
‘How’s Dot?’ she asks, returning with a huge glass of water.
‘Not so good,’ I say. ‘She’s got an awful cough, says her throat’s sore. And she’s exhausted, but it’s hard to know how much of that is jetlag.’
‘Do you think she needs to see a doctor?’ Julie asks.
‘I suggested it but she thinks it’s a virus and she’ll just be told to rest.’
‘Which is probably true,’ Erin says. ‘But we should keep an eye on her. Want me to check on her now?’
‘Yes please,’ I say. She knows I can’t be up and down the stairs as much as she can. ‘But leave her if she’s sleeping.’
‘Will do,’ she says, disappearing from the room.
‘She’s a good kid,’ Julie says.
‘She is,’ I say. ‘I’m so pleased the exam went well.’
Erin bounces back in and says Dot’s half-awake and asking for me, so I go up.
Julie says she’ll wait around in case we need a lift to the doctors.
Says she’ll make something for our tea while she’s waiting.
And I would tell her she doesn’t need to, but I know there’s no point.
She’s the type to look after people, and it’s a crying shame she never got to be a mum.
Up in our bedroom, I pull the easy chair that sits in the window over to the side of the bed, and I sit there, looking at her.
‘I haven’t been a very good nurse,’ I say, and she chuckles.
‘That’s all right, Mabel. I haven’t really needed anything.’
She’s got water and tissues, a tube of throat lozenges. There’s a packet of paracetamol on the bedside table.
‘How about some company?’ I ask.
‘Yes, that would be nice. Only, it hurts a bit to talk, so could you do most of the talking, do you think?’
I nod, try to think about what she might like to hear. We’ve covered all sorts about our pasts in these weeks we’ve spent together, and she knows the ins and outs of my daily life, because I’ve been sharing that with her.
‘Anything, Mabel. You can talk to me about anything. I’m just going to close my eyes, but I promise I’m listening.’
‘Have I ever told you about the time Arthur got stuck up a tree?’ I look over at her.
Her eyes are closed, but she laughs and it leads to a coughing fit and she ends up sitting up, me patting her on the back.
‘Maybe not the best story,’ I say.
‘No, go on. Please. I’ll control myself now I know what to expect.’
‘Well,’ I say, ‘it started with our next-door neighbours and this scrawny kitten they got, which was always finding its way into our garden and scratching at our willow tree. Arthur said it was doing its business in the flower beds, but I could tell he didn’t mind much.
He was an animal lover, Arthur. Anyway, one day the woman from next door turned up at our door, absolutely distraught because the kitten was missing and she thought it might be in our garden.
We all went out there, me and Arthur and the woman – Penny, her name was – and we were all looking around as if we were doing an Easter egg hunt or something, and then we heard this mewing and looked up and there she was, right at the top of our beech, looking terrified.
The woman’s husband was away and we couldn’t just leave it there.
I suggested calling the fire brigade, because you hear about them rescuing cats, don’t you, but Arthur said we shouldn’t waste their time and he’d go up there himself.
My heart was in my throat as he went up, but he got hold of the kitten and managed to pass it down to its owner.
And then I don’t know whether he suddenly realised how high up he was or what, but he just froze.
Couldn’t move, up or down. The woman was full of gratitude and just disappeared, and I tried to talk him down but it was just impossible.
And we ended up having to call the fire brigade after all, to rescue him! ’
I can’t tell whether she’s drifted off to sleep. I put a hand on her forehead, and it’s warm but not excessively so. And then I just sit back in the chair and wait for her to need me.
* * *
She does, but not until hours later, when I’m lying beside her, fast asleep. She touches my shoulder and says my name.
‘Mabel, I feel terrible. Can you call someone?’
Her skin is boiling hot to touch, and she looks drained and white. I go downstairs and get my mobile telephone, take it back to the bedroom and call the non-emergency medical number, and we go through a series of questions.
‘I think we’d better get her seen, to be on the safe side,’ the woman says. ‘Are you able to bring her in?’
‘I don’t drive,’ I say, feeling on the edge of panic. ‘But I’ll sort it.’
‘We can send an ambulance if you don’t have any other option.’
That frightens me. She must think it’s serious if she’s offering to send an ambulance. I decide I’ll call Julie instead – she’s always offering to help, saying she’s always available if we need her – so I politely decline the offer.
‘Thank you for your help,’ I say, ending the call.
Dot looks like she might have drifted back off to sleep. I call Julie and she answers after three rings, sounding groggy.
‘I’m sorry to wake you,’ I say. ‘Dot’s feeling worse. I called 111 and they said to take her into hospital.’
‘I’m on my way,’ Julie says, and it’s then that I feel the tears coming.
It’s no small thing, to have people in your life who will come to help you in the early hours of the morning. I wake Dot gently, and together we get her into some clothes, and then I dress myself. I leave a note for Erin, and we wait in the living room for Julie to come.