Chapter 26
As soon as Herr Lange informed her that her daughters had been accepted on Operation Seven, Michaela applied for a travel permit and embarked on the one-hour train journey to her sister-in-law.
If she was honest with herself, she felt uneasy about seeing her two girls again, as it had been over a year since she’d last seen them.
Stepping off the train at Luckenwalde, a fresh gust of wind almost swept the hat from her head. Quickly holding it down with one hand, she buttoned up her jacket with the other when she saw Carola hurrying toward her with a wave.
“How lovely to see you, Michaela.” Carola immediately grabbed her in a hug, which was unusual for her.
“I’m glad everything worked out, too.”
Michaela was about to extricate herself from the embrace, as Carola whispered in her ear, “Quickly, take off your jacket and put it over your arm.”
“Why?” Michaela craned her neck to look out for her daughters. “Where are Ilse and Eva?”
“At home. I rarely let them go out, now they have to wear the yellow star.”
All of a sudden, the skin on Michaela’s chest was burning exactly where the star disfigured her jacket.
As a doctor, she naturally knew that the sensation was psychosomatic, yet she barely resisted scratching the spot for some relief.
Finally, the penny dropped and she took off her jacket, folded it cleanly with the star to the inside and put it over her arm.
“Has it gotten very bad?”
Carola gave a regretful shake of the head.
“You have no idea. Neighbors and friends who were playing with them only last week are now treating your daughters like lepers – and me along with them. The butcher won’t serve me anymore, and even the baker will only sell me day-old bread, because he wants nothing to do with Jew-lovers. ”
“I’m so sorry.” For a second, Michaela had a vision of her daughters being beaten up in the street and paused mid-stride.
She blinked and the vision disappeared. Nevertheless, her heart pounded against her ribs.
If she’d ever doubted her decision to tear her daughters from their familiar surroundings and flee with them to a foreign country, she understood now that it had been the right decision.
Carola sighed. “Since they’ve been required to wear the star, everything has changed.
The situation has become unbearable. You know how much I love them, and that I will miss them terribly.
But when you told me on the phone that you were going to take them with you, a weight fell from my shoulders. ”
“Thank you for everything you’ve done for us.
” Michaela struggled against the tears welling up inside her.
When she had first married Dieter, she and Carola hadn’t particularly liked each other.
Carola had been a typical housewife and never understood why Michaela loved her profession so much.
She’d also resented the fact that Michaela continued to work even after Eva, and later Ilse, were born.
Michaela swallowed the bitterness rising in her throat.
They reached the terraced house where Carola had lived alone since her husband’s death, until she had taken in Ilse and Eva.
“They’re not particularly keen on going with you,” Carola warned as she opened the garden gate.
The words stung Michaela. She supposed it was to be expected, since the girls had been living with Carola for over two years and had seen their mother just a handful of times during that period.
“Your mother’s here,” Carola called, stepping into the parlor. Ilse and Eva were sitting on the floor playing a board game. Sullenly, they stood up to greet Michaela. “Good day, Mother.”
Michaela would have loved to throw her arms around her daughters, although for this to happen they needed time to get to know one another again. Eva, the older one, had developed into a pretty adolescent, while Ilse was still very much a child.
“It’s so good to see you.”
“We want to stay with Aunt Carola,” Eva pouted, jutting her chin.
Michaela looked uncertainly at her sister-in-law, who took the reins in her usual resolute way. “We’ve already talked about this. It’s not possible. You’re no longer safe here.”
“But we will be if we go on the run?” Eva wasn’t going to give up easily. She’s going to be trouble, thought Michaela. Her older daughter had inherited Michaela’s strong will and assertiveness, while the gentle Ilse took after Dieter.
Michaela knew from previous arguments with her daughter that it wouldn’t solve anything to dismiss her objections.
“I agree, fleeing the country has its own dangers, but we’ll be accompanied by people who are sympathetic.
Things will only get worse in Germany. Most of my Jewish friends in Berlin have already been taken away and sent to ghettos in the East.”
Ilse opened her eyes in horror and hid behind her sister, who also turned pale.
“You can’t stay with Carola. Either you come with me to Switzerland, or Hitler will send you all alone to a ghetto in Poland.
Which do you think will be more pleasant?
” Michaela could all but see her daughters’ thoughts on their faces as they processed her harsh words.
After living safely under Carola’s protection for years, the realization of what was going on in the wider world must have come as a shock.
“That’s a lie.” Eva pressed her lips into a tight line. “Evacuated Jews are being allocated fertile lands in the East. A better future awaits them there.”
“That’s what she’s been taught at school,” explained Carola.
Michaela had to suppress a wry smile. The girl standing in front of her in her best Sunday dress, fine limbed, with neatly filed fingernails and braided brown hair, found dirt and insects disgusting, and was afraid of large animals.
Even if what she’d been told was true, and deportees weren’t taken to labor camps, Eva was totally unsuited to the farming life.
“Go ahead,” Michaela encouraged her. “If you’re so set on reclaiming uncultivated land and getting a crop out of it, find yourself a farmer, marry him and get yourself shipped out East. For the first few months, you’ll probably have to sleep outdoors, at least until your husband builds a cabin for you.
The only running water will probably be in the river, and you can read in the evening by candlelight if you’re not too tired after a hard day’s work in the field. ”
Eva’s eyes widened with every word, until she replied in a small voice: “That’s not what I meant.”
Carola clapped her hands. “Come to the table. I’ve baked a cake.”
“Delicious,” Michaela praised her sister-in-law as she tasted the cake. Seeing the doubt on Carola’s face, she added, “I mean it. I haven’t eaten anything like it in months.”
“It’s amazing what you get used to. Even cakes with barely any sugar, and ersatz coffee.”
While they ate, Eva and Ilse prodded listlessly at their cake, listening to the conversation between Michaela and Carola.
“I assumed you’d be taking them with you right away.” Carola’s cheeks flushed and she hurried to add, “Not because I want to get rid of them, but—”
“You don’t have to apologize, none of this is your fault.
Quite the contrary. Thanks to you, they were able to enjoy two more years of relatively carefree living while I took care of Dieter.
” As always when she thought of her husband, Michaela had to fight back her tears.
His death had been a double tragedy; it had not only plunged Michaela deep into grief, it had also wreaked havoc, in her own life and the lives of her daughters.
“So, each of them has packed a satchel with their belongings, and I’ve tied up a bundle of all their important documents for you. School certificates, residential register, birth certificates, anything that might be useful. And…” Finally, Carola mustered a smile. “I’ve packed food in each bag.”
“We can definitely do with that. Our ration cards are good for almost nothing these days.”
“Tell me about it,” sighed Carola.
“We don’t yet have a departure date, so it may well be that we have to stay in Berlin for a few more weeks.
” Michaela sincerely hoped their journey would begin soon, since the noose around the necks of the Jewish population was tightening practically by the day.
She didn’t have the slightest desire to find out for herself whether the ghettos and camps in the East were really as bad as everyone suspected.
“Can we stay with Aunt Carola until then?” Eva interrupted their conversation, her face hopeful. “Please!”
“I’m afraid that’s not possible.” Michaela’s heart broke to see the disappointment on her daughter’s face.
“Once we’re given the go-ahead, it could happen very quickly, and I might not have time to fetch you.
Besides, you’re not safe here anymore. Imagine what would happen if the Gestapo came for you in the meantime? ”
Eva pressed her lips together. “They could do that in Berlin too.”
“In theory, yes, but I have a letter of protection from the Abwehr.” Then Michaela told the anecdote about how Leonore only had her presence of mind to thank for not being deported to a detention camp.
Eva grumbled a few more incomprehensible words. Nonetheless, Michaela got the impression that her daughter had accepted the sense of the decision.
“We have to get going,” said Michaela a few hours later. She wanted to be back in Berlin before nightfall, and there was no knowing whether the trains were running on time.
“Fetch your satchels,” Carola ordered. Once the two girls returned to the living room carrying their satchels, Carola stood up and held them close for a long time, furtively wiping a tear from her eyes. “May God protect you.”
“Bye, Aunt Carola. We’ll come visit you as soon as we can.”
“Thank you, a thousand times, for everything.” Michaela hugged her sister-in-law. “As soon as we arrive, I’ll send a postcard to let you know.”
“Hopefully the war will be over soon, and then you can come back.”
Michaela doubted that would happen any time soon. Besides, she doubted she’d ever want to return to this country, where the people hated her kind so much.
Putting on a cheerful voice, she said, “Let’s go. You’ll love Switzerland, I’m sure of it.”
“Not me,” Eva muttered.
She stared at her eldest daughter. “They have bananas there. And chocolate. And cakes with lots of sugar.”
“Pfff.” Eva pretended to be unimpressed.
Ilse’s eyes, on the other hand, lit up at the promise of sweets, and a moment later a small hand stole into Michaela’s.
At least her youngest daughter didn’t seem so averse to this adventure.
Hopefully, Eva too would soon realize that fleeing the country was their only chance of a life anywhere close to normal.