Chapter 52
52
The light changed, golden-hour hues painting the walls. I stared at the ceiling. I’d had one last chance to convince Catherine to help me, and I’d blown it.
My last molecule of hope was Karen. They’d kept her—by force?—from attending Grace’s session. So where was she now? Locked up? She might be just as trapped as I was.
Eventually, my brain went quiet. I watched a fly buzz around the room as if looking for something. Once in a while I heard the faint mutter of voices out the open window. So quiet here. A pity that I could scream and scream, my voice extending for miles, and never be heard.
The door opened; Jonah appeared. I sat up and painted on a smile, survival energy engaging my facial muscles.
He sat at the table. “Hey.” His voice was solemn. “We don’t have much time. But I just wanted to talk to you. To—apologize.”
“For what?” I asked, as if I didn’t know.
He stared at his clasped hands for a long time, his lips pressed together.
I had to get him talking.
“When you were waiting outside the hospital that day, you wanted to run into me, right?” I asked gently. I was actually curious. “To make me think you were working with her parents?”
“Yeah.” He scratched his cheek. “I thought I’d have to wait longer, maybe until the end of the day. But you came out pretty quickly.”
“Who picked Catherine up?”
He pushed back his glossy curls. “Moon and Sol.”
“Are you serious?” I thought back to the video footage: the man tall and hunched, with a paunch. Her, tiny and blond. “So they were, what? In disguise? Wearing wigs ?”
“Uh-huh.”
I’d considered this once, but someone had disproven it…
“You told me you’d sent photos of Moon and Sol to Diane,” I said as it clicked into place. “That she’d confirmed it wasn’t them.”
He just nodded. My stomach clenched at the level of organization that had taken place.
“Did you really find me with LinkedIn and Instagram?” I asked.
“Yup.” He tapped his fingers on the table. “I remember being shocked at your pictures, how much you looked like her. But my goal was just to talk to you and find out when Catherine was leaving the hospital.”
“So that Moon and Sol could get there first, right?” I felt disgust with myself for spilling this information so easily.
“Right.”
“So they didn’t think she’d come with them if they just showed up as themselves?”
“Well…” He shrugged. “We didn’t know what state Catherine was in. If she’d even say yes to seeing them. So when you said her parents were coming, it seemed like the easiest way.”
“Fake IDs and all.”
“It’s not that hard to make them.” He must’ve seen my expression, because he continued. “But for the record, I didn’t have anything to do with you signing up for this retreat.”
“But you agreed to keep playing the PI.”
“Yeah. They thought you’d open up to me. So we could find out if you were really her. Which, clearly, you are.” He held out a hand. “Those were your visions, your dreams. And your decision to stay.”
“Oh, you all would’ve just let me leave?”
“When everyone else left? Of course.”
I wasn’t sure I believed that.
“But what about after?” I asked. “You trapped me. Steven left, and the other car… someone disabled it, right?” I was certain of it, as if I’d watched it happen in front of me.
“Well, at that point…” He rubbed at the table. “Moon was getting nervous about what Catherine was telling you. I mean, you’re sisters. She knew Catherine had mixed feelings about what was going to happen. But still—no one held a gun to your head. If you’d started walking out to the road, I would’ve gone with you.”
The words made me shiver. “Jonah—”
“It’s Joe.”
The name sounded vaguely familiar. Watch your fingers, Joe. Karen had said it to him at dinner two nights ago, but I’d been distracted by those jewel-toned bottles of wine.
“Joe.” I forced myself to take a deep breath. It meant something that he was here. That he was talking to me. “How did you get involved in all this?”
“Well.” He shifted, lifting one ankle over his knee. “It’s like I told you the night I met you. I used to have a crush on Catherine.”
“When?”
“As a preteen. But I followed her through the years. And when I saw that Sebastian Smith had died, I knew she’d be devastated. So I drove to LA. I felt like she needed me. I tried to figure out where she lived, but she wasn’t on social media.”
My stomach dropped. The truth was dawning on me. Jonah—Joe—wasn’t just a part of this cult. He was also a stalker.
“But I caught a lucky break.” He smiled softly. “I found out where Sebastian’s funeral was and waited outside. Eventually, she came out and got in a car and I followed her to her house. The next day she came out and went to this yoga studio. All I had to do was give them my credit card and I was in. She seemed like kind of a zombie in class, so I decided to give her more time before I tried to approach her. You know, I slept in my car. Showered at the yoga studio. And just went back and forth, every day. She always went to the same class. Finally, at one point I got the nerve to put my mat next to hers. That was the day Moon was the substitute teacher. Catherine switched to her classes, and they’d talk afterwards. So I made sure to get there early and chat with Moon too. One day she asked if I wanted to get a smoothie with her and Catherine. And that was it. I was a part of Moon’s group.”
I nodded throughout, like this all made so much sense. “Then what?”
“I don’t know.” He frowned. “Catherine wasn’t what I expected. She was pretty cold. I wasn’t hitting on her or anything like that—I just wanted to get to know her. But Catherine was so focused on Moon. It wasn’t healthy, you know? I mean, Sol loved it. He thought he had this little harem or something.” A sigh. “And then we came here when COVID started. Moon got into the past-life cohort stuff, and it explained everything. Why I’d always felt so drawn to Catherine. But then when I met you… I realized I’d been wanting to be with you all this time. Not Catherine. I wish we had more time together. But I guess that’s what a tragedy is, right?” Joe was different from Jonah: hunched over, uncertain, his fingers picking at hangnails. Even his voice was a little different: higher, softer.
I thought suddenly of the opening ceremony. When we’d written what we wanted to release on those thin pieces of wood.
Joe/Jonah’s had confused me. DOUBT .
“Joe.” A warm feeling suffused my chest. “You don’t really believe in this stuff, do you?”
“What do you mean?” His dark eyes darted to mine.
“All of this.” I spread my free hand. “I work in mental health. I know shared psychotic disorder when I see it.”
He shook his head, his face going pale.
“Listen to me.” I made my voice confident, hard. “This is all make-believe. Moon has brainwashed you into a fantasy. A part of you knows that. And if that’s the case… Joe, you’re really hurting people. Grace could be dead. Catherine is not well. This needs to stop. Now. ”
He stared at me, as if considering my words. Then he shook his head. “I wish I could believe that. But think about our patterns, Thea. They fit. What I told you about the girl at my school—that was all true.”
A cheerful knock at the half-open door. No! My hands clenched into fists as Sol sailed in.
“Aww, are the lovebirds having a goodbye sesh? Cute.” Sol clapped Jonah’s back. “It’s time, my friend.”
This was my last chance. I couldn’t let them take me down there.
“Thea, would you be so kind as to put your arms behind your back?” Sol pulled a zip tie from his pocket.
I held up my free hand. “Sol, wait.”
He tilted his head, watching me like I was an animal whose noises he couldn’t understand.
“Please don’t do this.” I remembered the conversation I’d overheard between him and Grace. “Look, I know you convinced Grace; I heard you in the kitchen. She didn’t want to go into that hole, and you manipulated her into doing it.”
Jonah’s eyes sharpened on Sol.
Sol chuckled. “I didn’t do anything, darlin’. It was her decision.”
“No, it wasn’t. You kept telling her how brave she was.”
Sol’s gentle smile didn’t waver. And that’s when I felt it: a new cold fear spreading through my belly. Sol knew exactly what he’d done. He was the best liar of them all.
“You know, Thea”—Sol crossed his arms—“I had my doubts. In fact, Moon and I got in a huge fight the day you all got in. I wanted to let the pattern go, leave it for another lifetime. But when you showed up, you were the spitting image of Catherine. And it was like, Oh, okay. Maybe it is time to handle this. But I’m ready for it to be over now. We need to move on and focus on the business.”
“The business ?”
“Of course. Do you have any idea how big our podcast is getting?” He shook his head. “We’re set to really take off this year.”
So that’s all Sol really cared about. Money. Power. And if he had to harm people in the process to keep his cash cow, Moon, happy, so be it.
“You’re a loser,” I spit out, unable to stop the words. “You know that? You failed as an actor and musician, and now the only reason you have this ‘business’ is because of Moon.”
Sol glowered at me with contempt. Then the expression drained and he smiled pleasantly. “All right, then. Time to go.” He put his hands on his hips. “So, you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?”
Twenty minutes later, battered and bruised from my attempts to jerk, scramble, and pull away, I was back in the cave. They’d had to zip-tie my ankles, gag me, and haul me like a rolled-up rug all the way down. At the top of the stairs to the cave, I’d wriggled so much they’d dropped me. Sol had had to grab me under the arms as I’d started tumbling down.
After that, I’d stopped struggling. Carrying me over the rocky terrain, Sol had dropped me once—maybe on purpose. My head had hit a rock so hard I’d seen stars.
Now I was sitting in one of the tiny streams of cold water, facing the hole. My whole body shook. There were voices behind me, but I couldn’t hear them over the water’s gurgles.
Moon pulled the gag from my mouth. “Are you going to be nice and quiet?”
“Moon, listen to me.” The words felt stuck in my throat, but I choked them out. “I’m not the sacrifice, okay? I don’t want to be. The sacrifice has to be willing, right? I’m not willing. I’m sorry, I’m not.”
“Let’s turn her around.” Moon glanced behind me.
“All right.” Sol picked me up underneath the arms. As I swirled around, my eyes landed on Karen sitting across from me. Her head was bowed low.
My last shred of hope disappeared. Karen was a willing part of this.
Even so, I called out to her. “Karen, please! Help me!”
She lifted her head. Her face was ashen, her eyes red. She looked like the corpse of herself, devoid of all life. Maybe she hadn’t known about Grace’s plan. But she knew now. And even though the knowledge had destroyed her, she was still here.
The others were here too: Catherine, Steven, and Joe.
I trained my eyes on Catherine. “Catherine! Please!” Her head was slumped onto her chest, her hair covering her face.
“We had to sedate her.” Moon patted my shoulder. “She cares about you so much, she’s getting confused.”
“Steven, please!” But he stared determinedly at the ground, and Joe watched me with bleak sadness in his eyes. “Please! Joe! Help me!”
A slap to the back of my head, which made me gasp in pain, sparkles exploding.
“Hey.” Moon glared at Sol. “Don’t do that.”
“We need to finish this.” He sounded irritated. “Can we, please?”
“Yes.” She sighed. “Joe?”
He came closer, and he and Sol grabbed me under the arms, lifting me to stand.
“No, no, no!” My voice rose into a wail. I tried to sag back to the ground, but they started carrying me towards the hole, like a roller coaster lurching into movement.
My screams reverberated through the cave. My mind went blank, a pure white burst, as my bound bare feet dragged over wet rock and dipped into the bubbling ice-cold water. I pulled up my legs as if that would help.
“O-kay,” Sol muttered as if they were in the midst of a handyman project.
My legs swung free, then the zip tie snapped open. As Sol held my wrists, Moon stood in front of me, setting down garden shears.
“Stop!” I shrieked, with renewed energy. “Please! No! Stop!” I kicked and tried to wrench away from Joe and Sol, but their grip was like iron.
Moon leaned forward and kissed my cheek. I snapped at her like a rabid dog.
“Thank you.” Her fingertips pressed into my heart. She tore her eyes away from mine and nodded.
Karen stood behind her. She moved forward and squeezed my shoulder, slipping something hard and small into my front left pocket.
“Don’t lose faith, hon.” She managed a half smile. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
Behind her, Catherine stood. Her eyes were dilated, barely any green showing. “I love you, Thea.” Her words were slurred. “I’m sorry. I love you.” She hugged me.
Steven remained where he was sitting, head low.
“All right.” Moon nodded firmly at Jonah and Sol. I shrieked as they lifted me over the swirling, sucking water. There had to be a way to stop myself from going into the tunnel—maybe by bracing my legs or arms.
Focus. Strong legs. Strong arms.
But the hole was too large, too slippery. Too hungry.
When they let me go, I dropped into the mouth and it swallowed me whole.