Chapter 35
THE STAKES
ASTROPHEL
‘IT’S NO USE,’ Tansy mutters from the other side of the sleeping platform, dusky head bent low over Briar’s.
‘The salves aren’t working. I wouldn’t ask unless I had to.
’ Her bloodshot eyes drift to the lower floor of the ice-cabin, where Maris is squeezing snowmelt on the Clanschief’s still-fevered brow, Serafine perched on the furs beside him keeping eternal vigil, while Delphine watches on from the shadows.
An unnatural stillness pervades the cabin, but outside, the wind howls over the mountain, pummelling its walls.
In the fifteen risings since the lightning strike, there’s been no real change in Blayze’s condition.
Leilani frowns from her seated position at my bedside.
The air seems to weigh with the tight press of her lips.
Her eyes are fixed on the Clanschief too.
The uncharitable part of me wishes Tansy wouldn’t ask this of Briar.
I flex my bad hand, forgetting my injury.
Pain shoots to the elbow, but I swallow my groan. I’d only add to her worries.
Briar nuzzles Tansy’s cheek, offers up her front leg.
As Tansy delves into her basket, drawing out a blade and earthen vessel, I look away.
I can’t see Briar bled again. I never thought I could care for another creature as I care for Silvermist, but Briar has claimed a piece of my heart.
Seeing her in pain brings back memories of the awful things I was party to in Galtair.
No matter that Briar agreed to play along…
the piteous whickering, the fear in her widening eyes, will haunt me forever.
In doing this, I know a choice is being made. Briar is sparing the Clanschief’s life, but at what cost?
‘It’s the only way to save him,’ Leilani whispers, as if reading my thoughts.
I stare up into her fathomless lilac eyes.
Perhaps she truly is reading them? I shift my weight against the furs.
Which of my current thoughts would I have her know?
The real reason I’m not champing at the bit to see Briar go through with this?
Leilani’s brow creases. ‘You ought to be resting. We’ll get Tansy to change your dressing after…’ She trails off when a sharp whinny from Briar snaps her attention back to the sylvanmare.
The poor creature is trembling. Tansy has made the incision and moss-green blood is fast brimming the vessel she holds to it.
Leilani grips the furs. I cover her clenching hand with my good one. ‘They might rally.’
‘Briar? My mother? Or Blayze?’ Leilani asks with a woeful attempt at a laugh, which fast turns into a dry hack.
‘All of them.’ My whisper comes out like the desperate prayer it is.
Leilani is paler than ever, the crescents under her eyes darker.
Since that vision of the Queen, she’s even more distracted.
Eyes forever glued to the small cabin window, inspecting the mountain.
For what, she won’t say. Her nights are disturbed too.
Bad dreams each time she sleeps, which is too seldom.
Her fears for her mother, for Blayze, for Briar…
for me. It’s taking its toll. Too much weight on those narrow shoulders.
But part of me is glad she suffers.
I study the dark ribbon snaking her hair, think back to my last conversation with Orthriel and shudder.
I shake those fears away. There’s no reason to fear the worst. Not yet.
Tansy approaches my bedside, clutching the life-saving blood to her chest. ‘I tried to take the least I could and still have enough to…’ She bites her lip, casts a look back at Briar who’s curled on the cabin floor, licking her wounds.
Leilani stands, eyes brightening. ‘Let’s go to him.’
I flex my hand again, use the ensuing pain to temper the wrench in my chest at the relief flooding Leilani’s face with the prospect of restoring the Clanschief back to health.
But if she can still care for others – even if it’s him – then, surely, she’s safe.
Orthriel was wrong.
*
THE PINE brANCH Blayze is using as a crutch lands with a heavy thud on the cabin floor.
The sound reverberates all the way up to the sleeping platform.
Just what I need when my head is already pounding.
Blayze grunts. In pain, in frustration, who can tell anymore?
Grimacing, I huddle further into my furs.
Such a blessing the Clanschief has been restored to us.
Such a blessing that blood Tansy administered three risings ago worked.
Maris bends to pick up the staff. ‘I’m happy to help. I—’
‘I don’t want your help,’ Blayze says, seizing the stick roughly from her hands. He forces his weight onto it and shuffles away from her, to the corner of the cabin furthest from the door. The effort draws a fresh sheen of sweat on his brow, hoarse groans from his clenched lips.
Beside me, Leilani tracks his stilted progress with a pained expression. I don’t need a star-brand to read her thoughts.
Was Briar’s sacrifice worth it? Blayze is walking now, but barely.
I glance over to the far corner of the sleeping platform where the sylvanmare lies curled at Tansy’s feet as she prepares more of the foul-smelling salve for my arm.
I must remember to speak to her about preparing a tonic for Leilani.
Something to help her sleep. Briar is scarcely able to lift her head since the blood-letting.
There’s no question of her continuing on our quest. She’ll have to remain in this cabin till we return from our summit attempt.
Or if we don’t make it back, till she recovers enough to journey to Xylia on her own.
It’s a mercy Tansy had the foresight to dry all those lilacs – that I was able to reclaim them in Galtair.
At least the poor creature won’t starve.
Not that Blayze is anywhere near ready to scale the mountain.
Every moonsrising matters and eighteen have now passed since the lightning strike.
I know Leilani is counting them. I know how worried she is about the Queen.
The Outrealmers haven’t been told about the Sister-Stones, so they can’t understand her fears about not making it to the caves in time.
I reach for Leilani’s shoulder, deliberately using my injured hand so she can see it’s improving.
I bite back most of the pain, but not all, and compound the damage by coughing as I gulp too-thin, bitter air into my straining lungs.
Leilani turns her gaze to me now, eyes narrowing. And I know she knows.
The effects of the tincture are wearing off. A little more with each rising. It’s the reason for the headaches I can’t seem to shift.
‘I’m fine,’ I say. ‘Ready to venture forth whenever you tell me.’
She tilts her head, staring up at me like the Queen used to when I was a boy swearing blind I’d not spent all afternoon at the stables again, before she stooped to tug a treacherous fleck of straw from my hair.
She was the only person to ever guess my secret – the reason I spent so much time with the horses. And she never breathed a word of it.
My chest clenches. I want to summit that mountain every bit as much as Leilani.
‘Truly, I’m fine,’ I say again.
‘Well, he’s clearly not,’ she says, gaze flitting back to Blayze’s abandoned nest of furs.
I swallow. There’s no point lying. ‘Give it more time. Sylvanmare blood is potent – look what it did for the Arx Magnum’s guards…’
I wish the words unsaid even before I finish uttering them. Her face hardens; she snatches her hand away, balls it to a fist. Peak’s sake! What happened to my silver tongue? Of course, she doesn’t want to remember those guards… what transpired on that mountain.
‘He was burning a fever only a few nights ago,’ I try again.
‘Barely able to move. Now look at him. Fever gone. Walking again.’ I don’t mention the fits that still grip him while he sleeps, the worrying way his temper flares, that he’s hobbling more than walking.
‘Your mother would tell you to have faith. Remember how she loved the tale of the Dawn Sister climbing the Astral Mountain to sing through the stars? Driven by blind faith her Beloved would know then that she’d stayed constant to his memory… ’
Leilani takes my hand, my good hand, squeezes it tightly. ‘You’re the only one who understands.’
A look passes between us. It speaks to her mother, to the secret of the Sister-Stones, to snatches of childhood spent under the same roof. To all we’ve shared which, in this moment, is so much greater than the sum of what keeps us apart.
I want to say it. The words I haven’t spoken, the thoughts crystallising since Galtair.
The chance we have to forge a new future for Estelia together, how much I admire her, this version of her I’ve come to know since disentangling myself from her father’s vicious web of lies.
My gaze drops to her lips, I swallow, but the moment passes.
She lets go of my hand, turns her attention to the Clanschief who’s back at his usual post by the window, spooning the restorative broth Tansy prepared down his throat.
I’ll seize this moment to speak to the healer.
Easing myself from the bed, I move to where she’s crushing roots for the salve for my arm.
‘This will be ready in an hour or so. I’ll change your dressing then,’ she says, not looking up from her work.
‘I’m not here for me,’ I whisper.
At this, her gaze flicks up, pestle suspended above the pungent paste.
‘It’s Leilani. Could you mix her a sedative? She’s barely sleeping and…’
I glance over at her. She’s where I left her, eyes still fixed on Blayze.
I follow her gaze. Maris is trying to help him eat, but he swats her hand away, earning himself a dagger-stare from Delphine.
Blayze mumbles something, huddles closer to the wall.
Serafine stands guard at his feet like a stony-eyed watchdog as Blayze resumes his stubborn efforts to feed himself.
‘Has she asked for a tonic?’ Tansy says, lowering her voice.
‘It’s important she remains calm and—’
‘I’ll speak to her. If it’s something she wants, of course I’ll prepare something for her.’
I step closer to Tansy, dip my head. ‘We should give her something whether she wants it or not. Look at her – she’s losing weight, she’s…’
The healer gives me a piercing stare. ‘What’s really going on, Astrophel? Is this about what Orthriel said after the avalanche?’
I swallow.
‘She’s not in danger. Not yet. You’re worrying unnecessarily. Focus on letting that arm heal so we can get up this mountain. I’m watching out for the Princess.’
I nod, but my throat tightens.
Tansy doesn’t know about the last warning – the one Orthriel saved for me alone. She has no idea of the stakes.
A sharp clattering echoes from the lower level of the cabin.
Maris is collecting up the dirty broth-bowls, stacking them violently and muttering to herself.
Delphine slinks to her side, tucks an arm around her waist, whispers something in her ear.
But Maris wrestles from her grip, sending the bowls tumbling.
‘I’m going for some air,’ she says, her voice strained, as if she’s fighting back tears. She looks over at Blayze again, but he’s staring into the dregs of his broth as the cabin door slams behind her.
Leilani rises, eyes darting to the window for perhaps the hundredth time since dawnrise.
‘I don’t want Maris out there alone.’
What is it she fears? Not the Arx Magnum’s guards, surely. They couldn’t follow us. Not this high. The frostfangs? The dull burn of my mending wound itches. I shouldn’t like to meet them again either.
‘She doesn’t want my company,’ Delphine says, hair spoiling green as she darts another hate-filled glare in Blayze’s direction and busies herself with collecting the fallen bowls.
‘I’ll fetch her back,’ I say, starting after her.
Leilani smiles at me. A crooked, fragile thing. My chest tightens, and for once it’s not because of the tainted mountain air.
It’s a true smile. The same I glimpsed that night I brought her mooncakes for Thawtide, before things soured between us like spoilt milk.
She’s still in there.
Maybe Tansy is right and I’m worrying for nothing. Orthriel’s warnings might all be for naught.
I cling to that thought, let it warm my bones, as I step into the chill.