21. Giulia
Saying that I wanted to help Renzo was easier said than done. I didn’t know how to help. I wasn’t sure what to do next.
My mother expected me to come home, but I had no inclination to return after seeing Cecilia like that. While it was shocking, I wasn’t dismayed and traumatized. It had been harder to find Father dead in his bed than stumbling upon Cecilia bleeding out on the floor.
She wasn’t a stranger, but she wasn’t anyone I was close to, either.
As cruel as it was to think it, that was just the way things worked in our world.
“What did she mean?” I wondered aloud. Instead of trying to guess what I should do next, I latched on to the stupefying shock of Cecilia lashing out at me like that.
“I don’t know if she did mean anything,” Renzo said. “She was a second away from death.”
“You think she said that like a delusion? Hallucinating as her body shut down?”
He nodded, but his brow remained furrowed. “Maybe.”
“Now what?”
His slight huff of a laugh charmed me.
“You’re fucking amazing.”
I raised my brows. “How so?”
“You just take it as it comes. Seeing a woman stabbed to death, and you’re still so… practical.”
“I prefer to think of myself as pragmatic.” I gave up my hold on his hand to turn and watch him drive. Even in this action, he looked so dominant, so rugged and in charge. His arm flexed as he shifted the gearstick, and I wondered if I would find everything he did sexy.
Or, perhaps it’s easier to let my mind go to the gutter and lust for him instead of facing the threat of mortality that always seems so near.
“We’ll go somewhere safe while I look into this affair she had.”
I blinked, stunned yet not. He was taking charge—as expected. He was bringing me somewhere with him—unexpectedly.
“You’re not taking me home?”
He deadpanned at me. “So Isabella can lock you up until your wedding?”
“She would not…”
He raised his brows in a challenge.
I winced. She might attempt that. “But taking me somewhere else would only make her more eager to act out.”
Sobering quickly, he frowned at me. “Would she use your sisters as leverage to get you to do what she says?”
My stomach twisted at that thought, but I shook my head. “Uncle Dario is there. He’ll watch over them. And Francis, my guard, he’ll keep an eye on them.”
Renzo nodded. “Then it’ll be my pleasure to keep you close and let Isabella freak out about being out of control that much longer.”
He reached a small yet stately residence within the hour. As we rode there, we discussed who Cecilia could have had an affair with. Who could have killed her. Why these things were happening when they did.
It was freeing to discuss things so openly and candidly with him. He saw me as an equal, not an inferior woman.
By the time we arrived at this Bernardi vacation home, the water glistening from the sunset on the horizon, I was exhausted. Mentally, I was fatigued from trying to figure it all out and thinking up the what-ifs. Emotionally, I was worn down from this burning wish to just embrace Renzo and have faith that we could be together.
My mother’s ultimatum remained fresh in my thoughts too. She’d assumed I was running away with Renzo, and his bringing me to his vacation home was a signal that I was.
I couldn’t. Not yet. We had to know who had done what, and then we could react.
Staying with him felt right.
He led me into the home, holding my hand, and I knew that the more he gripped me like that, the further I’d fall for him. It was a simple, almost casual touch, but I treasured the possessiveness behind it. Like he feared ever letting go.
“Dean,” he said into his phone as we entered. “I need some information.” As I yawned, he frowned at me. “Hold on. I’ll call you back in a minute.”
He hung up and studied me. “Are you tired?”
I shrugged. “I haven’t been sleeping well.”
He sighed and kissed my brow. “That makes two of us.” Leading me to the master suite, he pulled back the covers on the huge bed and gestured for me to lie down.
I didn’t. “Where are you going?”
He crawled onto the bed, showing me that he wasn’t going anywhere.
I smiled, glad that he wanted to stay near me. After sliding off my sandals, I lay on the bed.
I wasn’t too sleepy, but this sensation of feeling trapped and hopeless dragged me down. Closing my eyes was bliss. Hearing his voice as he talked to his man soothed me. Feeling the warmth of his body pressed next to mine was a rare treat that I wanted to cherish forever.
Renzo grounded me. Being with him like this, just decompressing and letting him arrange to obtain information about Cecilia’s affair calmed me. This connection between us wasn’t only sexual. He was an anchor that I never knew I could find.
But how can we stay? I saw no easy way forward to avoid marrying Nickolas where I could remain with Renzo. Running away was my first plan that made sense. But that would push me further from him.
I had nowhere to go with him.
I had no future to count on.
Just like Cecilia, I was a pawn. That was what our lifestyles dictated.
And it was to those sad, sobering facts that I dozed for a while.
I woke to find Renzo staring at me. He was no longer on the phone. Lying side by side with me, he gazed into my eyes with a calm yet deep intensity. As though he wished to see into me, to see my soul and hold me close. His hand drifted over my head as he continued to gently brush my hair back.
“How long have you been staring at me like that?”
“Not long enough.”
I sighed, loving that he wanted me for longer. Forever. “Renzo, there’s no way we can?—”
He kissed me, silencing me with his mouth. “Stop. Stop giving up hope.”
“But I am losing it.” I never should’ve let myself think there was any hope between us.
“We will find a way to be together.”
This time, I leaned in and kissed him, wishing he could be right.
“Because I want you,” he confessed, his voice so gravelly and husky. “And for the first time in my life, I’m going for what I want.” His kiss was rough. “What I need.”
I crawled over to him, lying on top of him and kissing him harder. His words filled my heart. This pleading desperation to stay together goaded me to get closer. To unite with him. To surround myself with his affection.
“And I need you,” he growled as he wrapped his arms around me tighter.
I clung to him. Keeping my hands over his shoulders and my left leg wrapped around his waist, I rode along with his quick roll.
He forced me onto my back, and I wasted not a second to reach for his shirt. I tugged it up, making him grunt when we broke our kiss. Without that layer of fabric hiding him, I reveled in the freedom to run my hands up his hard chest. Over his chest hair, along the ridges and dips of all his solid muscles. My touch spurred him to catch up, and as I pulled at the hem of my shirt, I lifted up to help him get it off.
“I need you more,” I said between panted breaths as he reached for my bra. I shoved at my skirt, wanting to be bare for him. Wanting to be open and ready for him. It felt wrong to allow any layers to remain between us.
Already, my pussy was wet. I felt the dampness on my panties, and I couldn’t wait to show him how much I’d yearned and ached for his touch there again.
Only him.
No man had ever felt me or entered me there.
And from the bottom of my heart, I wanted him to be my first and last.
My bra fell free, and the gritty growl that escaped his lips made me drip for him. Between the ache of my nipples and the tension banding so tight low in my stomach, I was so desperate that I became clumsy with my skirt. My fingers shook. My hands lost coordination.
I wasn’t the only impatient one. With a rough grunt, he lowered me on the bed and swatted my hands away. Taking over, he yanked my skirt and panties down. I writhed, moving my hips and legs to get them all the way off, and instead of losing contact with him, I framed his face and clung to him so I could kiss him as he went even lower.
First, he covered my breast with his mouth. His lips sealed to my flesh, and with my nipple fully sucked in, I keened and arched my back.
“You need me?” he teased as he switched to my other breast and did the same.
“Yes. Please, Renzo. Please .” I slid my fingers through his hair and held on tight to the soft, dark tresses. Keeping his head to my breasts ensured that the exquisite sensation of his lips and tongue wouldn’t stop. And he didn’t disappoint. Alternating between my breasts, he loved on me, pushing me close to an orgasm. But that wasn’t all.
He fingered me, sliding his digits into my pussy and stroking me with a steady, firm drag that drove me wild.
“I need you, too,” he said as he lifted his head from my nipples. They glistened from his saliva. Dusky pink and shiny with moisture, they stood as hard points. I wished he’d go right back to them, but he moved too fast.
He had something else in mind. Another first for me. As he lowered on the bed and hoisted my thighs over his shoulders, held as wide apart as he wanted them, I tried to prepare for the torture of his mouth on my pussy.
I cried out, fisting the sheets as he sealed his lips over my folds and swiped his tongue from my taint to my clit. He didn’t miss a spot, sliding his hard, soft tongue over my sensitive flesh. A filthy moan left his lips, and I felt the rumbling vibration from his naughty kiss there.
“Oh, fuck, Renzo,” I moaned, closing my eyes.
“Watch me.” He paused only to order me that. His mouth returned to my cunt, and as I stared at him, he ate me out with a ravenous appetite. Slurping. Sucking. Even nipping. He tortured my pussy with long licks. Then he funneled his tongue inside and coated his face with my cream.
When he moved his focus to my clit, I cried out over and over, lost in the drowning pressure to explode for him.
“You need me like this, Giulia?” he asked with a wicked glint of mischief in his eyes.
“Yes. Oh, my God. Yes, Renzo.” I panted and watched, turned on even more by maintaining eye contact.
He doubled down, making love to me with his mouth. Pushing his head up helped drive in the force of his touch, and I trembled with the need to come. “Please, Renzo.”
I would never stop begging for this man. And he seemed to know it, too.
He dragged his hands down my thighs until he cupped my ass cheeks. His grip was unforgiving. His nails bit into my flesh, and as he squeezed, parting my ass, it drove me wild. Holding me closer, he growled and ate at me until my orgasm burst through me.
I screamed, clenching my eyes tight as the bliss speared from my pussy to the rest of my blood. Satisfaction was swift and sweet, and as I floated on the high of coming, he lowered my legs and hurried to remove the rest of his clothes.
“I needed a taste, Giulia,” he rasped as he stood to the side of the bed.
I locked my gaze on his dick jutting straight out from the dark hair around the root of the shaft. Licking my lips, I fought through the fading waves of my orgasm and crawled toward him.
“Maybe I need one too,” I taunted.
Before I could do more than pump my fingers up and down his veined hardness a couple of times, he chuckled darkly and caught me in his arms.
“Later.” He spun me until I was on my knees on the bed again. He crawled up behind me and urged me up the mattress until we’d reached the headboard.
“Next time,” he promised before kissing my neck and pushing his chest flush to my back.
I groaned, arching back to him and turning my face to kiss him. As we locked lips again, he rubbed his dick between my legs. I tasted myself on his tongue, and I moaned, then cried out. He notched his cockhead at my entrance. With his arm banded over my stomach, he paired his deep thrust in with a pull of my body back toward his.
He was seated. All the way in. The steady, hard push stole my breath, and I panted as I waited to adjust to the delicious stretch.
“Oh…” I growled it, feeling every inch of his hard length pushing in and filling me.
“I will always need you,” he swore. As he pounded into me from behind, he reached lower to rub firm circles around my clit.
I was still coming down from my first orgasm and wasn’t prepared for another so soon. Especially not a harder one.
“And I need you to come for me,” he ordered as he sucked on my neck.
I leaned back, nodding the best that I could as I gripped his head and held on tightly. Arching into him, I tried to get there faster. I wanted to milk that big dick that he pushed into me faster and harder. I wanted to push him to lose himself in me and fill me with his hot cum.
“I need…” He growled, rubbing my clit firmly.
The first waves of bliss consumed me, and I fisted his hair as I let it sweep me away.
“Fuck. Yes.” He drove in hard, once. Twice. And he came. I felt every twitch of his cock. I sensed his thighs trembling and shaking behind me. His breath came hard, whipping my hair aside, and with his strong arms around me, he hugged me close and pulled me to fall with him on the mattress.
Held tight in his arms, I caught my breath and waited for the rush of endorphins to settle within me.
And with him snuggled in, his warm, taut body stretched flush with mine, I realized we were on the same page.
I needed him.
And I feared I always would, no matter how many obstacles stood between us.