Chapter 16 #3
As she drew close, Jenny was unable to bear it any longer and stepped into her path.
‘Miriam, talk to me, please.’
‘We have nothing to talk about,’ Miriam replied. She looked at Gwen and raised a brow. ‘What are you doing here, Jenny?’
‘Not that it’s any of your business, but I’ve been attending a lecture with my friend.’ Jenny gestured to Gwen who bobbed her head a little awkwardly. ‘Miriam, I don’t want to argue. This is important. The man you were talking to—’
‘Oh, him!’ Miriam waved a hand dismissively.
‘Called himself Mr Craig. He asked me if I considered entertaining men and would I like to meet some friends of his. It’s an old story: he finds out what a woman needs or wants, then tells them he has “connections” in the theatre or music halls.
He won’t get anywhere with me, though. There’s nothing I want that he can give me. ’
Miriam’s eyes bored into Jenny, who flushed. She and Gwen exchanged a worried look.
‘Did he bother you?’ Miriam asked, frowning.
‘No. But we recognised him—’ Gwen said.
Jenny shook her head quickly, and squeezed Gwen’s hand. Gwen stopped talking but looked puzzled about the interruption.
‘He was speaking to Sally, the housemaid at your lodgings,’ she told Miriam. ‘She didn’t look happy but nor did she try to push him away.’
Miriam heaved a sigh and rolled her eyes.
‘Oh, that foolish girl! She has some silly notions that one day she might become a famous actress, and that all she needs is a patron. If Mrs Godolphin finds out she’s been out in the evening without one of the other girls, she’ll be furious.
She dismissed Sally’s predecessor without references for walking out with a young man without permission. I will speak to Sally tomorrow.’
Miriam rearranged her shawl and gave Jenny a slight smile that didn’t reach her eyes before bestowing one on Gwen that was a little warmer.
‘Thank you for telling me. Good evening to you both.’
Jenny stepped forward.
‘Miriam, wait please. Can we talk about what happened? I, you know I—’
She stopped talking before she admitted how deep her affection ran, aware of Gwen listening.
‘I don’t think we have anything to talk about,’ Miriam said firmly. ‘You know my feelings about being deceived as much as anything else. Now you should both go home.’
She stalked off, walking fast enough that Jenny would have to run after her, which she was not prepared to do. Her belly lurched in misery, and she turned back to Gwen.
‘Is that the friend you meant?’ Gwen asked. She looked surprised, as well she might.
‘Yes.’
‘The one you wanted to set up home with?’
‘Yes!’ Jenny repeated, snapping. ‘I know it’s shameful and scandalous, and I’m sure you are appalled, but I can’t help it.’
She sagged against the wall as a sob rose up in her throat, choking her. Gwen remained silent for what felt like an eternity before clearing her throat and speaking quietly.
‘I don’t know what to say. It’s not something I have ever encountered.
That woman is the reason you want to end our partnership?
To set up a home as lovers! Even if she were a man, I’m not sure how good a reason that is.
How long have you known her? This infatuation—’ her inflection on the word was a knife in Jenny’s stomach ‘—it’s bound to end and then where will you be? ’
Jenny covered her hands with her face in a futile attempt to gain control of her emotions, momentarily forgetting that she was dressed as a young man.
‘It has ended already. Don’t you see? Miriam wants nothing to do with me, and it’s because of what we are doing for Augusta. My only way of trying to make peace with her is to give that up. I have to.’
‘But I can’t. I won’t,’ Gwen said. ‘I’m perfectly capable of continuing to make and sell the tincture without your help.’
Her voice was hard, and Jenny thought how different she was to the meek woman who had first been coerced into producing the tincture.
‘So, where does that leave us?’ Jenny asked.
Gwen raised her brows. ‘It leaves us going home and going our separate ways.’
Jenny swallowed. Her mouth tasted bitter, and she wanted a drink and her bed. ‘In that case, come along, Mrs Walters. Take my arm and I will see you back to your loving husband.’
Gwen sucked an audible breath and Jenny felt a little twinge of guilt at the barb, though only a small one.
For all Gwen’s talk of infatuation, her marriage was hardly a shining example of conventional love.
They walked in silence until the point came for them to part.
Jenny could see Gwen home, but she felt little inclination.
‘Good evening to you, Mrs Walters,’ she said coolly and Gwen slipped her arm free of hers. They both nodded formally before Gwen crossed the road and walked away.
Jenny bowed her head and trudged home. The sky was light and the heavy, wet smog was becoming a more summery, dry and dusty version. She found it incredible that a matter of months ago she had been filled with hope and had two new friends, and now it appeared she had neither.