Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Gwen spent the night at the small hotel for female travellers where she had left her trunk early that morning. It was close to Miriam’s home but she hadn’t realised how close it was until they both asked to be let out of the cab at the same location.
‘I think you need to leave this part of London, too,’ she told Miriam after the cab containing Danny, Ruth and Bella had continued on to Godwin’s.
By common agreement, it seemed the safest place for poor Bella, who had started to shake and cry as soon as they had left The Rook and Wren and had refused to let go of Ruth.
Sally stood beside Miriam, her head down and her arms wrapped around herself tightly.
Miriam sniffed and her lips twisted downward. ‘I will be. I haven’t told Jenny yet, but I have accepted a teaching position, which means I shall travel abroad.’
Gwen’s stomach twisted with pity for Jenny, who was so clearly in love with Miriam. She couldn’t understand the fascination they felt for each other, but it was clearly genuine.
‘I’m going to speak with Jenny soon, and tell her. I owe that to her,’ Miriam said.
‘I wish you both well,’ Gwen said.
‘And I you,’ Miriam answered. ‘I hope you get the forgiveness you need from Mr Parry. Don’t let your wings be clipped any longer. You’ve given your husband most of your life, now go and live your own.’
With that, she walked off, swinging her arms and humming to herself, Sally trying to keep up at her side. Tears smarted in Gwen’s eyes at her parting words. It felt like receiving absolution, if the blessing of such an odd woman counted for anything.
The following morning, Gwen breakfasted late, refreshed after a night of deep sleep in a comfortable bed.
She had bathed in warm water, rinsed and scented her hair with lemon water, and dressed in a fresh blouse.
Looking at herself in the full-length mirror, she saw a woman who was not young, but not old, either, and with good hair and posture – and she liked what she saw.
After leaving her trunk in the hotel’s luggage room, Gwen walked to Godwin’s. She nodded to Mr Everson, barely pausing her step as she called out, ‘Good morning, I am going up to see my brother,’ and enjoying the look of irritation on his face.
Danny answered the door, looking much less rested than Gwen felt.
She wondered whether to return downstairs and order coffee and crumpets to be sent up, then decided against it.
She was not responsible for anticipating or fulfilling his needs.
If he wanted breakfast, he was perfectly capable of ordering it himself.
‘I came to enquire after Ruth and Bella,’ she told him.
He stepped back and let her into the room. He was dressed, though not wearing a tie or waistcoat and his chin was thick with morning stubble. It rather suited him. His bed was roughly made, suggesting he had done it himself.
‘I thought it best not to admit the maid,’ he said, following Gwen’s gaze. ‘It has been a rather eventful night. Bella refused anything to eat or drink. She seems to suspect it might be drugged.’
Gwen cringed.
‘I didn’t mean that to sound as much an accusation as it did,’ Danny said.
Gwen was about to reply that she wouldn’t blame him, but stopped herself. She’d never forced anything onto anyone. She was not responsible for Augusta’s actions.
‘How is Ruth?’ she asked.
Danny rubbed his temples, clearly exhausted.
‘Angry. I’m afraid that she does not think we have done her any favours by rescuing her. I’m not sure she sees it as a rescue, in fact.’
‘May I see her?’
Danny gestured to the door. ‘She is in the adjoining room. I took the liberty of securing it when I arrived. I doubt Mr Everson thinks particularly highly of me.’
‘Do you care?’ Gwen asked.
‘Not really.’
Gwen tapped on the door.
‘Go away.’ The unmistakable, petulant tones of a young girl rang out. Danny looked at a loss. Gwen opened the door and marched in, clapping her hands together briskly.
‘Ruth, I’ve come to check on your welfare.’
‘I don’t want you to.’
Ruth was sitting on the bed swinging her feet. Bella was curled up in a nest made of blankets underneath the window, fast asleep.
‘You look well,’ Gwen said, coming to sit next to her. ‘Ruth, I must ask a delicate question. Could you be with child? Were you made to do anything with the men?’
‘Nothing I didn’t want to do,’ Ruth said, lifting her chin insolently. Danny groaned quietly from the doorway. Gwen lifted her chin, looking back at Ruth equally boldly until the girl looked down at her feet.
‘We talked and we kissed and cuddled. But I didn’t go any further than that. Miss Salisbury, she said it would be a pity to waste me.’
From the corner of her eye, Gwen saw Danny sag with relief, but Ruth had not finished.
‘Miss Salisbury said that I could be rich and famous. That I could find lots of men who would take me to the best places. She said I had a beautiful voice—’
‘Ruth, you are being utterly ridiculous,’ Danny snapped, stepping forward. ‘She would have prostituted you out to anyone and you would not have had a say in the matter. Your life would have been degrading and short.’
Gwen reached out and put her hand on his arm to calm him.
‘It’s very possible Miss Salisbury was telling the truth. She is a sophisticated courtesan, who works for men of wealth and taste. She might have trained you to do the same, but you would still have been relying on the benevolence of your patrons and at risk from disease, and pregnancy.’
But how was that different to the lives of most women?
she thought ruefully. Selina lived life on her own terms, in luxury that Gwen couldn’t imagine.
Augusta owned and ran two businesses, possibly even more, and had the respect of men on her staff, even if they were rogues.
They were more successful than Gwen was, even if their standards were not conventional.
‘Don’t ruin your life when you are so young,’ she said gently.
‘You’re a plain old woman. What do you know about it?’ Ruth sneered.
‘Ruth Wynn, mind your tongue!’ Danny growled.
Gwen sucked her teeth. Ruth was not particularly kind, but she sensed she was just speaking honestly. She gestured to her face.
‘Yes, I am old. My son is older than you, in fact, and quite frankly he has made mistakes of his own that I would un-make for him if I could, but I can’t.’ She swallowed. ‘And I do know about regret and bad choices, and unwanted babies, because I had one.’
Gwen saw the surprise register on Ruth’s face and heard a hastily swallowed gasp from Danny. Her cheeks and neck flamed.
‘I was a little older than you are now, but I was reckless and foolish, and Archie was the result.’
She walked slowly back to the bed, as if she were approaching a frightened puppy, and took Ruth’s hand. The girl resisted slightly, but Gwen held on and eventually felt the muscles softening as Ruth accepted her touch.
‘You have no mother, which is hard on a young girl, but you have an uncle who cares for you deeply. Go back to Wales and try living your life there. Make the memory of your mother proud of you.’
Ruth’s lips wobbled and she looked very young again. Gwen patted her hand and walked back with Danny into the other room. He shut the door quietly.
She was taken completely aback when he clutched hold of her hands and pulled her to him. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on her shoulder. His gentle breath tickled the side of her neck and Gwen felt peace descend.
‘Thank you for trying to help Ruth,’ he whispered.
They stood holding each other for a moment, until Gwen shifted her posture and looked up at him.
‘Is that true about your son?’ he asked quietly. ‘The pregnancy before you were wed, I mean?’
‘Yes, I fell very deeply in love with Archibald, and I let myself be swept away. We both did,’ she added in fairness to her husband.
Danny frowned. ‘The talk at home was that you were too good for us after you discovered London. Your father returned and boasted of your good marriage. I did resent it. I think a lot of us did.’
‘I expect he did, but I expect he neglected to admit that I was already pregnant.’
Gwen closed her eyes, remembering the arguments with her parents, the protestations on Archibald’s part that he had not intended it to happen.
‘My parents were devastated, and furious. I married Archibald, because we found ourselves in the circumstances where we had no choice.’
Her stomach curdled as she remembered her terror over using the contents of the small bottle that Nain Bethan had sent her to empty her womb. She hadn’t been brave enough to take it and the result was Archie, and marriage to his father.
‘If I had not been pregnant, then Archibald and I could have spent time together courting and deciding whether we were compatible. But the pregnancy bound us together. Archie has long since left home, leaving me without a reason to stay, but I stayed anyway, because I didn’t believe I could have a better life. ’
She bit her lip and looked at Danny. ‘I told my husband that I consider our marriage to be at an end. I won’t be returning to the pharmacy, or to him.’
The ecstasy that lit Danny’s eyes caused her stomach to constrict with guilt and she turned away.
‘Because of me?’ he asked in a breathy voice.
Gwen shook her head, laughing to herself at the vanity of men.
‘No. I left Archibald for myself. Not for you, or because of you. I was a dutiful daughter. I raised a child. I tried to be a good wife. I’m not sure how successful I was at any of those.
I’ve realised lately that I can do things for myself, though it is perhaps rather ironic that the things I appear best at are outside the law. ’
Danny walked to the bed and sat on the edge. ‘I understand you weren’t acting out of any evil intent when you did what you did,’ he said quietly.
He sounded as if he was struggling with the admission, but Gwen seized on his words.