16. Honoria
Chapter Sixteen
Honoria
My therapist deserved a raise. I’d snuck in an appointment early Friday. But we’d spent most of the discussion talking about Wombat. I swear she was fixated on the wrong things. What she should have been preparing me for was five hours of Jim and Denise the following day.
And Jacob. Let’s not forget that little…
I tried really hard to focus on Molly. No one knew how she’d react to an infant. But it was plain to see that Molly had a mothering streak a mile wide. One sniff and she practically kept her nose plastered to his skin.
She breathed him in like he was ambrosia.
I made an excuse to make a call. I retreated to the three-quarter porch that most days was the best room of the house, but today held a chill that just wouldn’t let go. I shivered as I tried to figure out an excuse to call Wombat. But I couldn’t think of anything.
There were footsteps in the hall behind me, so I dialed quickly. He picked up on the fourth ring. The noise was loud where he was.
“Hey, hang on a minute, I gotta find somewhere quiet.”
There were voices in the background, and yet the music was somehow louder. Denise poked her head in and saw me on the phone.
“I’ll hold.” I pretended this was important and quickly held a finger up at Jim’s wife so she’d get the hint not to interrupt. “Yes, that’s right, Mr. Blessing.”
Wombat would hate that I was using him to avoid talking to her.
Denise smiled and sent a little wave at me, promising to come back later.
I breathed a sigh of relief as soon as she left. The volume on the other end of the call decreased dramatically.
“What’s this mister shit?” Wombat sounded amused and not angry.
“I’m at Jim and Denise’s.”
A beat of silence, then, “Right, how the meet and greet go?”
Too goddamn well. “Molly likes him.”
“She likes everybody.”
I sighed. “She really likes him. Fixated.”
“Oof. Are you staying?”
“Since I negotiated only the afternoon, yes.”
“I could come by tonight, get you off. What do you say, eight? Ten…?”
“Times?”
He laughed. “I’m not fucking Superman.”
I lowered my volume. “You’re pretty super to me.”
“Babe.”
“I told you not to call me that.”
“Habit.”
I hadn’t paid attention to much but the rumble of his voice so I missed the clicking of paws on the hardwood, and the scuffle of Jim’s house shoes.
But something made me turn toward the open door. He stood there, baby in his arms, Molly leaning against his leg. Her snout pointed up at the bundle in his arms.
An instant pang of regret swept through me. This could have been us.
“Who are you talking to?”
Wombat had said something in the same moment, and I couldn’t hear him. All I could focus on was the accusation in Jim’s voice.
“Are you seeing someone?”
Oh, crap.
I froze.
“Honor? Who’s that?” Then, “Is everything okay?” Wombat’s voice cut through my fog.
I answered on autopilot. “Fine, just fine. Listen, I’ve got to go.”
“You called me, are you sure?”
I pressed the button, cutting him off.
I addressed Jim, “It isn’t what it sounds like.”
That was the worst thing to say. I mentally kicked myself for being the stupidest person on the planet.
“It sounded like the way you used to talk to me.”
“Can we not?” I fired back. I switched subjects before he could start on me. The man was a great lawyer simply because he wouldn’t shut up until he won an argument. “What did Denise want?”
“She wanted to know if you needed a glass of wine.”
Needed? Like I was some sort of lush or something? I bit down my knee-jerk reaction and spoke as sweetly as I could muster at that moment. “I wouldn’t mind a glass, but I don’t need it.”
The statement came out with vitriol.
Jim’s face twisted as he geared up to berate me.
I held both hands out and pushed down on the air between us. “I came here so you could introduce Molly to y—” My mouth didn’t work. I tried again. “Your… infant.” The word was clinical enough that it came out with the gust of air I’d been keeping locked in my gut.
“Infant? His name is Jake.”
I cleared my throat. “Right.”
“Are you still in therapy?”
It would be wrong to pick up that vase and toss it at his head. I’d not only get charged with assault but also child endangerment. I clasped my hands together so I wouldn’t involuntarily bash it over his head. “I am.”
“It’s not working,” he quipped.
“Oh, it’s working. Just not as quickly as you think it probably should. Each journey is unique.” I spat out the same words my therapist had parroted for the last year and a half.
My phone rang, cutting off Jim’s reply. I wanted to ignore it, but it gave me a great excuse to hold one finger up and avoid my ex-husband’s bullshit.
I softened my voice, but kept it businesslike. “Hi, sorry about that. May I call you back in a bit?”
“Honor, tell me you’re okay and mean it.” Wombat’s voice took on a note I hadn’t heard before. It sat somewhere between bossy and intent to murder.
“I—” Was I really going to lie to him?
“‘Thought so. I’m leaving now.”
“Honey, why won’t you introduce me to your boyfriend?”
Jim deliberately spoke louder than usual. It was so harsh the… thing in his arms fussed.
“You’re still at your ex’s, right?”
No. Please no. This was spiraling out of control.
“Honey?”
“Put Jim-dick on the phone,” Wombat demanded.
“I can’t do that.”
“Then I’m on my way. Tell your ex he better have his dental insurance paid off.”
“Wombat, don’t!”
Jim stared at me oddly.
Too late, I realized what I had exposed.
“You’re dating a biker?” Jim asked.
I pulled the phone away from my ear to calmly lie to Jim. “We’re not dating.”
Unfortunately, Wombat was still listening. “No, we’re fucking!”
Oh, really now? I put the phone back to my ear to break into Wombat’s tirade. “Random?”
“No you don’t. Do not drop the government name on me, woman. I had my tongue all the way up your pussy last night.”
It was all sorts of wrong that Wombat’s growl made me wet. I squeezed my legs together so it wouldn’t betray me.
“Listen, Honey, if you’re in a sexual relationship with one of our clients then you’re going to have to report this to the—”
“He’s not my client!”
Denise picked that moment to return with a glass of wine. Her eyes bounced between Jim and myself. “I thought maybe you’d like the white, but if…”
“Take Jacob.”
Her eyes bugged out as he held the baby out.
I helped her out and grabbed the glass and chugged the contents in one gulp.
Jim noticed.
I ignored him. “That’s really good wine, Denise. Thank you.”
She awkwardly smiled while straightening the child in her arms before taking the empty glass from me.
Jim continued his rant. “It’s an ethical violation. You can’t be serious about this.”
The phone in my hand had gone dark. Either Wombat was on his way or he’d gotten pissed off enough at both Jim and me to hang up.
But the reminder of his involvement in this fiasco was enough to check my bitter reply to Jim and simply focus on the facts.
“Not true. The affair started after his court settlement.” Barely.
“He’s younger than you.”
Behind him, Denise jiggled Jacob in her arms to stop his fussing. I stared at her, then directly back at Jim. “Really? Dating someone younger than you is crime?”
“It is if they’re a criminal. Honestly, don’t you have any sense?”
Jim was so wrong. “Point one, Denise is whole year younger than Random. Point two—”
“Random?” Denise asked.
Jim threw his hands in the air. “How can you do this? He doesn’t even have a proper name. He’s a waste of humanity.”
To spare everyone from the nuclear destruction brewing inside me, I answered Denise instead of listening to Jim.
“His parents were a bit alternative. They named him Random to mess with her father because he didn’t like their choices in names.
Their other children are Sonnet, Summer, and Hallelujah. ”
“You can pick any name you want?” Denise looked down at her son.
Jim butted into our conversation. “Do not listen to her. She’s obviously gone crazy.”
It was odd how not-crazy I felt. It was as if I’d released a weight on my spirit. I certainly didn’t hold any animosity against Denise. She’d been caught in our drama for almost two years. And through all that she stayed kind and cordial.
“He rescues animals.” I told her. It felt like the sun had risen and I was finally able to let go of the secrets I had been clinging to. “He’s great with Molly.”
“You can’t be serious. He’s a murderer.”
My attention snapped to Jim. “He is not.” I didn’t know how I knew that, but I felt it in my bones. There were a few of the Destroyers who I should have doubts about, but not Wombat. “And you, of all people, their lawyer might I remind you, shouldn’t say something like that.”
He blinked.
Denise chimed in as she stared at Jim. “You represent murderers?”
I kept my gaze steady on them both. “On occasion, yes. Both of us do. It’s the job.”
“Honey, please don’t—”
“Don’t what? Tell your wife the truth? How about this one, when you and Denise got together we hadn’t filed for divorce yet. Or this one, the only reason you did finally agreed to divorce was because she got pregnant.”
I softened my tone and quickly told Denise, “I don’t hold that against you. He’s always wanted a child. And you’re an answer to his prayers.”
Jim’s nostrils flared. “You need to leave.”
“Fine. I’ll take Molly and—”
“Leave Molly here.”
I shook my head. “Over my dead body.”
His eyes narrowed.
I forged on, placing a hand on my stomach.
“You see, you gave her to me as a gift when I miscarried our second child. It was a boy, by the way. For five months and three days, I carried him right here. He died. I was hospitalized and had a DNC so I wouldn’t die from sepsis.
And as a coming-home present? You got me a dog to make ‘everything better.’
“And you know what? She did make it better—as much as she could. She’s everything good and decent in this world.”
You’d think he might have softened then. But I was too caught up in the truth-telling to stop because I wasn’t done yet.
“So, when you fought for joint custody of Molly, a creature who never asked to become the rope in our little tug of war, I didn’t fight it because I didn’t want to hurt her. But you’re showing your true colors now, and I’ll have none of it. I’m taking my dog.”
He went low. “The firm needs to know you’ve been lying.”
“Jim, we can get our own dog.” At least Denise was seeing the bigger picture here.
But Jim wasn’t done. “You are going to lose your practice and probably end up in jail if you continue sleeping with your client.”
“He’s your client,” I reminded him.
“Who you insisted on representing in October.”
“Because you were going on paternity leave.”
“I could have handled the case load.”
“And left Denise alone at the hospital like you did me?” Yes, that event still hurt. “What if she’d miscarried?”
“That’s a low blow, Honoria,” he replied.
“You do know my real name. Maybe you can use it once in a while because I am not your ‘honey’ anymore.”
There was too long of a span of silence as my words hung in the air.
Denise cleared her throat. “Would you like another glass of wine?”
“I’d love one.”
Jim started to complain, but Denise shoved Jake into his arms. “He needs to be changed before you put him down for his nap. Take him upstairs while I talk to our guest. And while you’re at it, remember who you’re married to at this moment.
Please?” She put strong emphasis on the last word, and there wasn’t a single note of pleading in it.
His face turned red.
Denise stared at his retreating back, then motioned for me to join her in the kitchen. She refilled my glass, then poured one for herself. “I’m allowed one. Doctor’s orders.”
It was slightly fuller than mine.
“I apologize. Today had to have been awkward.”
She eyed me over the rim of the glass as she took a sip. When she finished, she spoke. “Awkward or not, it was overdue. You’ve been holding a lot in. I know I would not have been nearly as…what’s the word, circumspect?”
That was a good word. “You’re good for him, you know that, right?”
Denise raised an eyebrow. “I had big shoes to fill.”
“Well, you’re a quick study.”
Her frown turned into a smile. She raised her glass, “To the one who walked in my place before me. Thank you, and holy shit, you’re even more scary than I thought.”
I clinked my glass to hers. “And you’re sweeter than I thought you were. Thank you.”
We shared a moment of quiet.
She broke it with a sigh. “All I ever wanted was to find a good-looking guy with enough money I could be a stay-at-home mom. It’s like a fairy tale, but with enough twists that I know it’s real. But I think I stole your happy ever after, didn’t I?”
I shook my head. “No, you didn’t.”
She studied me. “Are you sure? I mean, despite what you say, I think I’d be a bit more pissed at me if I were in your shoes.”
I had been. Envious of her as well. And not because she was with my husband.
A rumble sounded outside. It was unusual to hear that kind of exhaust in this residential part of town.
I glanced out the side window that faced the entrance to the subdivision.
A glint of chrome flashed by. Whoever it was, they were loud and recklessly driving too quickly for this quiet little street.
Who in their right mind rode a motorcycle in winter?
Then I realized who it was.
“Do you want to meet my new boyfriend?”
Denise hesitated, “He’s not really a murderer, is he?”
“No, but I might be one if he continues to ride like an idiot.”