21. Wombat
Chapter Twenty-One
Wombat
Fly sat in the emergency vet’s waiting room. I slapped his hand in greeting and rushed to get the details. “Where’s Lemon?”
“With the dog. She got an IV going in the car and they’re trying to flush him with fluids so he doesn’t get kidney failure.”
Despite an urgent need, I sat my ass down on the chair next to him. “What did he eat?”
“She doesn’t know. But he was acting weird, and then all of a sudden she got really bossy. Your sister’s a bitch when she’s in doctor mode.”
I was still too shell-shocked to kick his ass for dissing my sister. “An IV?”
“Yeah,” he lowered his volume. “You know Walt’s been looking for a new vet.”
Our old one had too many ties to enemies. “Why do you think he’s helping with her school fund?”
I didn’t let him answer.
“Listen, I gotta take a piss. Be right back. If Lemon comes out looking for me, let her know I’m here.”
“Whatever, man.”
That deserved a smack upside the head as I walked past. In the bathroom, I unzipped and did a check.
I’d lit out of Honor’s so fast, I hadn’t even dumped the condom.
And about halfway through the drive, when my dick should have been soft enough the damn thing should have slipped off and left an ugly wet spot, it didn’t.
And the reason why was staring me in the face.
It broke.
Hell, not only broken, but rolled all the way down to my nuts making a nice little latex cock ring.
“Fuck.” I peeled it off and ditched it.
Then everything just stopped. I couldn’t think, or maybe was thinking too damn hard because nothing made sense. I stared at the blank wall and tried to figure out what to do next.
Obviously, call Honor. Let her know.
Then what?
And what if she freaked out? What if I’d gotten her pregnant? With her issues around that and babies and—shit. I’d babe’d her. I needed to apologize for that, too.
When I finally slumped down in the chair next to Fly, I was still in a daze.
He noticed. “Sorry about your dog.”
I hadn’t been thinking about Dumb Ass. And I really should have been. Now I had more on my plate. “Where did Lemon and the doc go with him?”
Fly pointed at the doors to surgery. Because I’d volunteered here multiple times, I was familiar with the layout. I even knew the woman behind the counter. I approached. “Hey Brenda, where’s Dumb Ass?”
She looked up from whatever she’d been doing and her face fell. “Oh, Wombat.”
I shook my head because, no… he couldn’t be.
“Don’t tell me they put him down.”
Her face instantly changed. “No. No, it’s just that they’ve got him hooked up to hemodialysis and he’s in pretty bad shape.”
“They figure out what he ate?”
She shook her head.
“Is he knocked out?”
“Yes, Lemon is in helping our on call. She’s been a rock.”
Good. “Do you need me back there?”
Her up-down scan of me took in my shaking hands and slumped shoulders. “Why don’t you sit down and wait, okay? Maybe drink something?”
Code for, I looked like shit. “Thanks. Let me know when something changes.”
“I will.”
My body felt heavy. I couldn’t sit upright to save my soul. I stared at the TV in the corner, and at the posters, and anywhere but that damn door.
Fly swung an arm over the back of my chair and slapped my shoulders twice to show he cared. Then pointedly slid his arm back to his side and looked away.
“Thanks, man.”
“Yeah, well, he’s a good dog, you know?”
Yup. “How’s the kittens?” I asked.
He checked his phone. “Shit. I gotta get back. Their next feeding is in a hour.”
“You good with that?”
He looked kind of green. “Yeah. Syringe, make sure they don’t aspirate, jiggle butts, wipe the poop out, keep ’em warm. I got it.”
“Okay.” I really needed to talk about the mess in my head, but Fly had to go. Part of me understood that, but another part was screaming, “Save me!”
He must have noticed. “Are you really okay?”
“No.”
He sighed and stretched out his leg. It was a sure sign he was in pain. Sitting couldn’t be good for his back.
“What about you? How’s rehab?”
“Sucks. I’ve been getting better workouts at the farm than with those fuckers.”
“You’re always welcome.”
He grunted and changed the subject. “What’s eating at you? The dog?”
“That’s only part of it. Someone’s been on the property. And I know it isn’t Lemon leaving shit unlocked.”
“Did you tell Walt?”
“Naw. It’s been little shit. A gate, a door, but now this? Dumb Ass is really friendly, but if someone is planning on breaking in, he could get aggressive. I can’t help but think this wasn’t an accident.”
Fly rolled that around for a minute. “When I get back, I’m going to do a sweep. I’ve got my gun with me.”
“Don’t shoot anyone. We’ll get shut down.”
“Fuck, man, if I can’t shoot someone, I might as well open the door and unlock the medicine cabinet. I mean, look at me. Lemon could take me down.”
“Just protect the house. We could explain a body in there easier.”
“Right. Castle doctrine. That’s what saved my ass in November. Well, that and Nickel lying his ass off.”
Maybe. I’d have to look that up. Which meant, I should discourage him from being too aggressive. “Two bodies in a half-year? It wouldn’t look good.”
“I know. What do you want to do?”
Call Honor, tell her I fucked up. I blew out a breath. “If you could, tell Walt or Digger. Maybe even Kid. Maybe ask Nickel if he can get a camera rigged up somewhere that’s got a constant feed.”
“His shit gets expensive. You sure?”
“What else am I going to do? If we get them on camera, that’s more evidence we’re not the bad guys.”
He laughed at regular volume. It caught Brenda’s attention. She smiled and went back to her paperwork.
“That’s not funny,” I said.
Fly didn’t stop grinning. “Yes, it is. No one thinks we’re the good guys.”
Which was a really good reason why I had to call Honor ASAP. “How do you get Plan B?”
He froze and just stared at me. His mouth worked while he tried to figure out what I’d asked. “You motherfucker. Damn.”
I wished he’d lower his voice. “Shut the fuck up.”
“Who’d you knock up?”
I cursed at myself for being an idiot instead of replying.
“Naw, come on. I’ll tell you how to pick up a Plan B pack only if you tell me who.”
“That’s not fair.”
“No, it is. See? I know exactly what you need and how to get it. And I expect payment for that knowledge.”
Classic Fly. He had me by the balls. “The club’s lawyer.”
His brow furrowed. “James Crowne, Esquire? I mean… dude?”
“You fucktard. His ex-wife, Honoria.” Saying her name out loud made something shift in my gut. The devil on my shoulder nudged me and said, “Don’t tell her the condom broke.”
I’d be damned if I conned her like that.
“The leggy brunette?”
I nodded.
He let out an almost silent whistle. “She’s fine.”
That she was.
“And you bagged that shit. Fuck, Wombat. I’m impressed.”
“Plan B. How and where? You owe me.”
He grinned. “CVS. Dual Highway, next to the lube. Idiot.”
“No prescription?”
“Nope.”
Well. “Thanks.”
He kept staring at me.
“You’re being creepy.”
“A lawyer… a woman lawyer. Damn.” He tipped his head.
“Fuck off.”
“You know, you could swing by there on your way home after all this, pick it up, drop it off in person. Maybe shoot for round two and make sure it’s worth the fifty bucks?”
“More like round…thirty?” I hadn’t kept track.
His eyes widened. “You have officially been designated as a god. I wanna learn those tricks, because…shit man. That’s fucking unreal.”
I met his eyes and said earnestly and with full seriousness, “There’s no trick to it. You just gotta treat ’em right.”
He didn’t answer right away. Then he laughed once. “That rules me out.”
Fuck him for making me laugh when Dumb Ass was fighting for his life. “You dick.”
“You got that right. Welp. I’ve got shittin’ kitten bootie duty. See ya, man.” He used my shoulder to stand up. As he did, a grimace tightened his jaw. His first few steps were wobbly and slow.
I felt for him. He’d almost died. Organ damage. Broken vertebrae, ribs, collarbone, and more. He barely pulled through. The residual pain was right there for everyone to witness. No wonder he was using more often.
Another mental note went onto my list. Tell Walt he needed help. Maybe even tell Snake to watch Fly’s ass for signs he was getting hooked. The last thing we needed was a junkie in our midst.
“Random?”
I looked up. The on-call vet was calling for me. “How’s Dumb Ass?”
He winced at the name. “Stable. We’re going to keep him here for two days to make sure the toxins are flushed from his system. It was close.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “Is he awake?”
“He’ll be coming around in about a half hour. Lemon’s with him.”
“I wanna be back there if it’s not going to crowd you too much.”
“Of course.” He led me to the surgery lab where they had DA hooked up to a machine.
A tube snaked from the filtration device to his neck.
Another IV was inserted in his back leg.
They’d restrained him and put a muzzle on.
Pretty standard stuff to protect the staff and to keep him from chewing at injection sites.
I found a rolling stool and dragged it over next to Lemon. She looked beat.
“You saved his life. Thanks.” I leaned into her, and we touched shoulder to shoulder in order to let her know I owed her.
She wrapped an arm around me and squeezed. “He’s not completely out of the woods yet.”
No, but he wasn’t convulsing or dying. I wrapped both hands around his head and rubbed his ears and jaw the way he liked it.
“Are you still going to be a vet?” I asked, knowing that a close call like this might scare the shit out of her. It would do that to me.
“Absolutely.”
I studied her. She looked different. Almost older. Definitely more like a real human than the little cherub angel-face she’d always been. “Being a vet looks good on you.”
“Thanks. Doc says I’m welcome to assist any time.”
“Wasn’t he the same one who lectured you about making dietary decisions?”
“Yup. Now he likes me.”
“I hope that’s just like, not anything else.”
“Don’t worry, big brother, he’s married.”
That didn’t stop some people. Speaking of… I’d forgotten about Honor. “I forgot something. I need make a call. He’s going to be out for a while, right?”
“To who?”
I shot my sister a look that said, you should know who.
“How is she doing?”
That was a loaded question. “The condom broke.”
“What!?”
Luckily, she’d kept her voice down to a harsh whisper. “You heard me.”
“Holy shit. What are you going to do?” Her eyes bored into me.
I shrugged. “It’s not up to me, is it?”
“Bro.” She tilted her head as if I should know what she wanted to say.
“What?”
Her face went through a series of emotions. “A baby? I’d be an aunt. And you…whoa. That’s huge.”
Yeah, huge. And also not guaranteed. It was stupid how everyone just thought it was a done deal when it really wasn’t. “When Dumb Ass wakes up, I’m going to make sure he’s comfortable, then I’ll stop by the CVS and grab a Plan B. I can drop it off for her.”
Lemon’s mouth dropped open. It worked for a moment. “You’re not even going to try are you?”
“Lemon. I’m a fuck up. She wouldn’t want a kid with me—Ow!”
The sting radiated beyond where she slapped my skull.
“That hurt.” I rubbed at my poor head.
“Good. You could try asking her first.”
“She doesn’t want kids.” I picked at a loose string on my jeans.
“How do you know that?”
I stood up, paced to the cages along the wall, and turned to glare at her. “She’s lost two babies already. Okay? I don’t want to put her through that again. It’s just… easier this way.”
“For who? You?”
“Lemon…”
“No, you need to grab your balls and man up, asshole. Ask her first. Talk. Listen to her, damn it.”
My neck hurt. I squeezed it to stop the headache building there.
“I have been listening. Not only to her words, but the whole thing. Do you know she won’t even let me call her ‘babe’ because it’s such a sore subject?
The first night we were together was the night her ex’s kid was born.
And, when he brought the baby to the office, she broke again.
And I was there picking up the pieces. This is a non-negotiable for her.
It isn’t something that I can just wave my magic dick at and make better. ”
“Ew!”
Did I blame her for being disgusted with me? No. I was pretty disgusted with myself.
“I’m going to call her. Will that make you happy?”
She frowned. Then acquiesced. “I’ll be here, keeping your spot warm.” Then she shifted to hold DA’s head, so he’d see her when he opened his eyes.
I stood outside in the cold, rehearsing what I was going to say. Nothing sounded right.
But I dialed anyway.
“Hi, how’s DA?”
Right. I’d told her where I was going. “He’s hooked up to hemodialysis. They’re flushing his system, but they’re pretty sure they caught it in time.”
“Oh my god, that’s a relief. I feel so bad for you.”
Hang onto that thought…babe. “Thanks. Um… something happened.”
“With DA?”
“No…” Grab your balls and man up. “The condom broke.”
There was barely a beat of silence, and then she said. “Oh. I can’t be pregnant.”
Like it was a done deal. “Are you on the pill or something?”
Her tone shifted to sarcasm. “No. I can’t stay pregnant. You know that. Don’t worry.”
There was a hitch in her voice. Now I worried more. “I can pick up a Plan B and drop it off. Just to be safe, right?”
“Wombat. You don’t need to do that. Stay there, take care of your dog. It’s okay. Really.”
No, it wasn’t. Nothing was okay.