Chapter Four
Anouska
Saturday 4 January
Someone rapped at the door. ‘Anouska, are you in there?’ Lauren. ‘Are you all right? You’re not throwing up are you? Do you need me to hold your hair back for you? Wouldn’t be the first time.’ She laughed.
Anouska quickly wiped her mouth and cupped her hands under the tap to collect some water to drink. ‘I’m fine. I’ll be there in a minute.’
‘OK.’
She knew it had been a bad idea to come to Kelsea’s hen weekend. She’d never be able to conceal this from Lauren. Ever since they’d first met at Freshers Week at the University of Aberdeen, Lauren had had the uncanny ability of being able to read her– too well.
Hen nights and mass social gatherings weren’t Anouska’s thing anyway, but with a huge secret to hide and being unable to drink alcohol to pretend she didn’t feel socially inept in these situations, the weekend was fast becoming her worst nightmare.
A few seconds later, the click clack of heels on the wooden flooring told her Lauren had taken her at her word.
Anouska freshened up, spritzing herself more liberally than usual with perfume, and gargled water to try to remove the acidic taste from her mouth, then sighed and headed back into the fray.
From the living area, the strains of Abba’s ‘Dancing Queen’ filtered through, and the sound of raucous laughter and cheering. The celebration was in full swing.
As the girls murdered a few more songs, Anouska tried to block it all out. Already, only two weeks after discovering she was pregnant, she felt positively middle-aged. Did everything really have to be this noisy?
Everyone was laughing, joking and clinking glasses. Kelsea, the bride-to-be, had her arms around Lauren’s neck, telling her she was the best sister in the world, whilst one of her friends belted out the next track, the others accompanying her with varying degrees of success. In fact, the only person who wasn’t screaming at the top of their voice was Jess, the girl Anouska had mentally nicknamed Peaches because of her peaches and cream complexion, whom Kelsea had introduced earlier that day as her childhood next-door neighbour. She was sitting quietly, observing, sipping her Prosecco. Anouska plonked herself on the sofa beside her. If she couldn’t have peace and quiet, she’d take the next best thing.
She wanted to be alone with her thoughts. If she kept a low profile, perhaps she could mask that anything was amiss. She didn’t really know anyone else, only Lauren and Kelsea. Hopefully, Lauren would be so caught up in the evening’s festivities that she wouldn’t notice Anouska was preoccupied, or that she wasn’t drinking Prosecco. The pretence was exhausting.
Jess caught Anouska’s eye. ‘I don’t know where they get their energy from. It’s been a great night, but I’ve hit a wall now.’
Anouska sighed. ‘Me too. I wish we’d had dinner. I tried to warn Lauren, but she and Kelsea were having none of it.’
‘I know, I’m starving now. And I dread to think how much we’ve all had to drink. We’ll suffer for it in the morning. I will, anyway. I’m not used to drinking so much.’
Anouska smiled at her.
Whilst the others screeched out yet another tune, Anouska saw Lauren watching her and averted her gaze. The last thing she needed was an interrogation. Lauren was too good at prising information out of her.
She chit-chatted with Jess until the weight of someone sitting down on the other end of the sofa caused it to dip and made Anouska list slightly. Lauren. Drat! I knew I couldn’t escape her scrutiny for long .
‘I’m parched. Give us a sip.’ Lauren reached out her hand for Anouska’s glass, which Anouska held away from her. She couldn’t have Lauren knowing she was drinking water at a hen do. Then she’d definitely be suspicious.
‘Sorry, I’m a bit funny about people drinking out of my glass. I’ll get you one though,’ Anouska said.
Lauren frowned. ‘How did I not know that about you?’ She shook her head as if to say ‘No matter’ then turned to Jess. ‘You want anything?’ she asked, before struggling to her feet and heading for the fridge. She came back with an open bottle of Prosecco and two glasses, as if she’d anticipated Jess’ response.
As Lauren poured the drinks then sank into the sofa once more, the strains of ‘I Will Survive’ dimmed until Anouska felt no one had survived.
She smiled. Clearly the hens were losing momentum, their batteries running low. One by one, they dropped away from the diehard karaoke singers and slumped to the sofa, or headed to the fridge for sustenance. Many returned with only the liquid variety.
Soon all ten of them, energy depleted, were chilling on the sofas murmuring and chatting.
‘Kels, we’ve got some questions about your life with Cooper.’ Lauren grinned as she pulled out a handful of postcards from her bag and held them up.
Kelsea groaned. Some of the hens cheered. One snored. Anouska tried not to laugh. Ten women, one luxury lodge, one hell of an excuse for a party, and look at the state of them. She’d normally be the same, but as she hugged the secret she was carrying to herself, she realised she wouldn’t be imbibing like this for quite some time. Nine months of pregnancy, and then if she breastfed, it would be longer. Breastfed? Where had that come from? Last month she hadn’t known she was pregnant, now she was channelling her inner earth mother.
Lauren stood up and tapped her champagne flute with a teaspoon to gain their attention, lending the moment a sense of drama and occasion. ‘Ladies, shall we begin?’
Silence fell over the group and Lauren, glancing around, satisfied she had a captive audience, eyed her sister, then began to read.
‘Question one: Where did you first meet Cooper?’
Kelsea stared up at her sister. ‘Easy, the bar at the Hydro during the Muse concert.’
Lauren nodded. ‘Very good. Question two: Where did you first have sex?’
‘Lauren!’ Kelsea turned crimson. ‘I’m not telling everyone that. It’s too personal.’
‘Don’t talk rubbish.’ Lauren scanned the room. ‘Is there anyone who doesn’t know where Lauren and Cooper first had sex?’
Everyone shook their heads.
‘I rest my case.’ Lauren turned to Kelsea and quirked an eyebrow.
‘OK, OK. It was in his car after the Muse concert.’
The questions continued in this vein, becoming progressively more risqué, until Kelsea called for a timeout.
‘I think Kels might kill Lauren later,’ said Jess.
Anouska chuckled. ‘That’s a distinct possibility.’
Once the quiz was over, Kelsea clapped her hands together. ‘Right, what’s next? Hey, I know. Lauren, where’s that magazine you had on the ferry? The one with the wedding quiz.’
‘In my bag.’
‘Let’s see it then.’
Anouska’s eyes half-closed. How soon were you meant to feel the effects of being pregnant, the exhaustion, in particular?
‘Are you tired too?’ asked the girl sitting in the armchair beside her. Ellie, that was her name. Anouska smiled.
Ellie groaned as she shifted in the chair. ‘Do you think they’d notice if we sneaked away? I can’t keep up with them. I’m an early bird, not a night owl. And I feel like a right party pooper saying so, but I’ve simply run out of steam.’
‘I think we’re all fading fast,’ said Anouska.
‘Except Kelsea. Honestly, that girl could party all night, and has done.’ Ellie shook her head.
Anouska frowned, confused.
‘When we shared a flat, we either had parties until all hours of the morning, or if she was out partying, she’d come in at four or five. Then she’d get up at ten, totally refreshed. So unfair.’
‘OK, ladies, here we go. My turn to grill you.’ Kelsea was clearly relishing her role. She licked her finger and turned the page. ‘What’s the minimum number of people you’d be happy to have at your wedding?’ She glanced around for her first victim.
Anouska took the opportunity to zone out. She was having a hard time not yawning. Two o’clock in the morning and being in your first trimester weren’t the best bedfellows, she was discovering.
A few questions later, Anouska was on the verge of falling asleep when Kelsea said, ‘This is an interesting one. Would you propose on the twenty-ninth of February, like the old Irish tradition, where a woman can only propose to a man once every four years? That goes to Ellie.’
A shadow passed over Ellie’s face, but she quickly recovered before saying, ‘At this rate, I may have to.’
The others laughed.
‘Yeah, but would you?’ Kelsea pressed, before taking a sip of her Prosecco.
Ellie pursed her lips for a few seconds then said, ‘I reckon I would, given the right circumstances.’
‘Really?’ Kelsea squeaked. ‘I could never do that. It’s a good thing Cooper asked me, or we’d just be living with each other forever.’
Marriage. Even with the weekend’s surroundings, it wasn’t something Anouska had ever thought about in any detail. She was too independent, too woman of the world. She had to be. It took a lot to run her own human resources company in twelve countries. And although she and Zach loved each other, they were perfectly happy with the status quo.
‘What about you, Lauren?’ Kelsea asked.
‘I’d do it in a heartbeat. Why should the guys have all the fun, and make all the decisions?’
Kelsea’s jaw dropped. ‘Honestly?’
When Lauren nodded, Kelsea said, ‘So why haven’t you then?’
‘It hadn’t actually occurred to me until now. Maybe I’ll ask Hunter when we get back.’ A smile played on Lauren’s lips.
Kelsea batted her on the arm, ‘Don’t you dare! Wait until my wedding’s over first!’
‘I would,’ Jess whispered to Anouska. ‘I’d never really thought about it either, but I would. Would you?’
Wrong-footed, Anouska gave Jess a tight smile and shrugged.
‘What are you two whispering about?’ Ellie leant towards them on the sofa again, glass of Prosecco swaying around, dangerously close to losing its contents.
‘Leap-year proposals. I’d do it,’ said Jess again.
‘You would? Why?’ asked Ellie.
Yeah, why? Anouska wondered.
‘Well, since I already decided the day after New Year that by the end of the year we’d be married, it’s not much of a hop, skip and a jump to do it on the twenty-ninth of February.’
Ellie gawped, whilst Anouska’s eyebrows disappeared into her hairline.
Jess chuckled. ‘Mark and I have been together since primary school, we live together and he’s lovely and sweet, and he can be so thoughtful, but he is totally oblivious. It wouldn’t even occur to him that it’s high time he asked. Plus, I want kids in the next few years.’
Ellie nodded slightly at Jess’ response. ‘Good points. I’d consider doing it, but for totally different reasons.’ When Anouska and Jess looked at her, urging her to elaborate, Ellie said, ‘I’m beginning to think Scott has commitment issues. Every time I mention the future, he shies away from the topic. We’ve been together for six years, and we still live in separate houses.’
Anouska gave a sympathetic smile. ‘That’s tough.’
Ellie sighed. ‘And as if that’s not bad enough, I’ve now been offered a job in Manchester, a promotion, actually, the promotion I’ve been after for ages, and if I knew we were going somewhere– marriage, kids, the whole shebang– I’d turn it down. I don’t know what to do. There’s no chance Scott will move with me, so if I’m going to turn it down, I need to know I’m doing it for a good reason.’ She looked at her Prosecco glass. ‘This has a lot to answer for. Sorry for oversharing.’
Jess dismissed her concern with a shake of her head then said, ‘How would you propose, if you did do it?’
Ellie thought for a moment then blew out a breath. ‘I’m not sure, but I’m a bit of an adrenaline junkie, so maybe whilst we were doing a tandem skydive or something.’
Jess’ cornflower-blue eyes bulged. ‘Oh my God. I could never do anything like that.’
Ellie grinned. ‘That would be the easy bit. The asking would be the terrifying part. And if he said no, that would be it. Game over. I think it really is make-or-break time for us.’
‘I hear you.’ Anouska’s thoughts jostled with each other, vying for space in her brain. Jess and Ellie were talking about futures and kids, and here was she, alone with the knowledge she was already pregnant. But they appeared to think marriage and kids went hand in hand. Did it? Was it necessary nowadays?
Had her view on marriage changed now, knowing she was pregnant? She’d barely had time to process the idea of becoming a mum, never mind anything else.
‘What about you, Anouska?’ Ellie asked. ‘Could you see yourself proposing ever, or rather, would you be against doing it?’
Anouska shook her head. ‘No, I’m not against doing it. I’d just never really thought about marriage before.’
‘You’re kidding?’ Jess looked gobsmacked and Ellie’s eyes widened.
‘What? Never ever?’ Ellie asked.
Anouska shrugged. ‘I’m happy in my own skin. I love Zach, but I’ve never felt the need to get married to show that. And I’m not very traditional or girlie.’ She smiled.
‘Each to their own,’ said Jess. ‘But my mind’s made up. I’m going to ask Mark, and soon. This discussion has given me the perfect motivation. Now, I just have to figure out how.’
Ellie smiled at her. ‘Well, good luck. I really admire you.’ She laughed. ‘Maybe I’ll do the same.’
‘You should,’ Jess encouraged her. ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’
‘He could say no.’ Ellie grinned.
Anouska laughed. ‘That won’t happen. I’m sure of it.’
‘I wish I was,’ said Ellie.
‘Hey, you three, is this a private party, or can anyone join in?’ Kelsea asked, positioning herself, hands on hips, in front of them.
With a laugh, Anouska turned back to the main group, but not before noticing a complicit look pass between Ellie and Jess.