Chapter Thirty-one
Anouska
Saturday 29 February
On Saturday morning, Anouska was a quivering wreck. She’d hardly slept all night, tossing and turning, fearful of the outcome, terrified to go on live radio. Conducting all the meetings in the world couldn’t have prepared her for this. Her voice felt hoarse, her mouth was dry and she tried over and over to make her tongue feel as if it wasn’t coated in cotton wool, by drinking copious amounts of water, but all that achieved was to send her on countless trips to the toilet.
She’d been receiving messages of support all morning.
Ellie: This will work. I know it. Good luck and text me later x
Todd: Inspired idea. You need to sort him out. Absolutely rooting for you. I’ll make sure he picks up, not me. Love you both x
Kelsea: Ellie let slip about the proposals when we went to that supper club. Lauren just told me you’re proposing this morning on air. Go you! Zach would be an idiot to say no. Good luck! X
Lauren: I’m going to kill my sister. I told her not to text you. Zach loves you. He’ll do the right thing. Love you x
It tickled Anouska that Lauren was going to have it out with Kelsea for being indiscreet, and it took her mind momentarily off the task at hand. And she needed distracting. The clock was counting down the minutes painfully slowly. She didn’t know for how much longer she could hold back the nausea, nor if it would remain just nausea.
Five to ten. The moment of truth approached. Her stomach was churning, and she was sweating as Calvin from Northsound 1 called and asked her to stand by. She listened to the radio as she waited for her cue. Jamie Flaherty’s show was playing the Bee Gees’ “If I Can’t Have You”. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the aptness of the song choice. It also occurred to her that it could have been chosen intentionally, but perhaps it was just a general nod to today traditionally being the day women could propose.
That thought also had her speculating for a second on what all the hard-core feminists out there would think of her proposal. Stuff them. She was a high-flying, jet-setting, relatively wealthy woman with her own business. If she wanted to propose in an archaic way, to their mind, that was entirely up to her, and if they didn’t like it, too bad. She’d do so. Surely feminism was about choice anyway.
She could faintly hear the show’s presenter saying, ‘This is Jamie Flaherty on Northsound 1. We have a woman on a mission this morning. Can we help her in her hour of need? Let’s see. Anouska, how are you?’
Belatedly, Anouska realised she’d been patched through to Jamie. ‘I-I’m fine, Jamie, thanks. You?’
‘I’m good, thanks. Well, Anouska, what a story! Not many people, I imagine, these days, propose on the twenty-ninth of February. I’ve never met anyone who has done so. Have you, Anouska?’
‘I haven’t, no.’
‘So I’m curious. Why today then?’
There was no way she was telling him the real reason: her pregnancy and the chain of events that had sparked her decision to propose. Nor was she going to tell Jamie and the station’s listeners about her friendship with Ellie and Jess; instead, she trotted out something she’d read online about the history behind it.
‘Well, I’ve always thought it quite romantic. A little different. I love the history of it too. Or the legend, whichever you prefer,’ Anouska corrected herself.
‘Oh, and what’s that?’ said Jamie. ‘I must confess I’ve never really thought about how the tradition started.’
Anouska tried to remember what she’d read. ‘It’s an old Irish tradition, where St Brigid, in effect, campaigned for women to be allowed to ask men to marry them as they were waiting far too long for their suitors, as they were known then, to ask them.’
‘I did not know that.’ Jamie’s tone showed he was genuinely surprised.
‘Yes, and St Patrick decreed that women could ask men, but only once every four years, and only on one day, the twenty-ninth of February.’
‘Well, that’s astonishing. I had no idea there were saints involved in this at all. Who knew? I feel quite uninformed now.’ Jamie laughed. ‘Right, Anouska, thanks for that. Now, are you ready to speak to Zach?’
‘I am,’ Anouska replied, her fingers digging into her palms. Or rather, she was as ready as she ever would be.
‘You stay on the line whilst I call Zach. Can you also turn your radio down so there’s no feedback from it?’
At Anouska’s acknowledgement, Jamie continued, ‘Right, everyone, let’s find Anouska’s prince. Time to call him.’
There was the sound of Jamie pressing buttons, then, ‘Bean There, Zach speaking. How can I help you?’
‘Hello, Zach, this is Jamie Flaherty at Northsound 1. How are you this morning?’
‘Is this a wind-up?’ Zach asked, and Anouska allowed herself a grin. Zach didn’t cope well with time-wasters, despite being the most mild-mannered person she knew.
‘No, Zach, it’s not a wind-up. In fact, we’re live on the radio right now, and we have someone who badly wants to speak to you.’
‘Uh-huh.’
Not his finest response. Did he sound cagey?
‘Is it OK if we put them on now, Zach?’
A short silence then, ‘I suppose.’
‘Excellent. Over to you, caller.’
‘Hi, Zach, it’s Anouska.’ She let that sink in for a minute before adding, ‘I know this might come as a bit of a surprise, it is to me too, but this was the only way I could get your attention. Zach, I love you, and what I’m trying to say, rather inelegantly, is, will you marry me?’
Anouska thought she would burst whilst she waited…and waited…and waited.
‘Zach? Zach, mate, are you there?’ Jamie asked. An awkward silence descended until Jamie finally broke it. ‘Anouska. Sorry, I think we’ve lost him. Let me try and call him back.’
‘No, don’t bother,’ Anouska said, tears coursing openly down her face. ‘I think we have his answer. Thanks for letting me come on the show.’
‘I’m sorry it wasn’t the outcome you were expecting, but you never know, he might just need some time.’
Anouska didn’t tell Jamie he’d had plenty of time already. She simply thanked him again and hung up.
After a minute, she turned the radio back up a little, but already it was playing another song: The Beatles’ “She Loves You”. Now she knew someone was playing a cruel trick on her. No one could be that unlucky.
Within minutes of her coming off the phone, Ellie called. Anouska couldn’t bear to speak to her, to anyone. She really was going to have this baby alone. It was almost impossible to take in– she was actually going to be a single mother. She didn’t mean it in a bad way, but she had never envisaged herself ending up in this situation. How would she cope? Anouska sat on her sofa, pulled her knees up to her chin, glad she had no visible bump to encumber her yet, and wept until the tears ran dry.
After a couple of hours and having soaked in a long bath to relax, Anouska settled down with a Greek salad and a glass of sparkling water. At least now she could plan for the future, bleak as it might seem. Energised, she started making a list of the positives. She’d ignored the pings of her text message notifications, and decided to go off grid for the remainder of the day. Hard as it was, she needed to be alone with her thoughts.
The landline rang. Her landline never rang. She left it. Then it rang again. This time it seemed foolish not to answer it; it might be important.
‘Hello, is that Anouska?’
Anouska instantly recognised the voice: ‘Calvin here, the producer from Northsound 1.’
‘Hi, Calvin. Yes, thanks for today, it was worth a try.’
‘Well, actually, we have a caller on Thea Goode’s show hoping to speak to you now.’
Could it possibly be? No, it must be someone calling in response to her call from this morning. She rather wished they hadn’t put her through this torture and she was about to say as much when she heard a familiar voice.
‘Anouska, it’s me. I’m so sorry about earlier. I dropped the phone into a vat of ragu in shock. We did try calling earlier, but there was no answer.’
She’d been in the bath with music up loud. Anouska tried not to smile at the image of Zach dropping his phone in the ragu. She also sensed it was not the time for talking. She listened.
‘Anouska, I’ve been an idiot, I’m so sorry. I know the listeners won’t know why I’m sorry, but that’s not important. I love you. Could you ask me the question again that you asked me earlier?’
‘I don’t know. It was a once-in-a-lifetime offer,’ Anouska said, smiling.
‘I’d really appreciate it if you did. I’ll beg if you want me to.’ And this time Anouska could hear the smile in his voice.
‘OK, I suppose so then. Zach Bedford, will you marry me?’
‘Yes, yes, and a thousand times yes!’
‘We’re getting married,’ she shouted. Then she jumped up and down for joy, fist pumping the air. She knew no one could see her, which made it even more liberating.
Dear, sweet Zach, her Zach, had agreed to marry her. They were having a baby and getting married. They were going to be a little family. She’d have that secure family unit she’d craved so much over the past few weeks.
Happy tears ran down her face and she wiped them away with her sleeve.
‘I think we have a success story here, folks. And, we at Northsound 1, being the generous people we are, are sending you on an all-expenses-paid honeymoon to a destination of your choice to the value of three thousand pounds. So Cornwall or Canada, Devon or Dominica, you choose, we pay. So pleased for you guys, all the very best for the future, and please can you let us know when you’ve set a date. For now, from all of us here at Northsound 1, congratulations!’ And Thea’s voice gave way to the chorus of The Proclaimers’ ‘Let’s Get Married’.
‘So, Zach, what are you waiting for? Go get the girl.’
‘I’m on my way home,’ Zach said. ‘Thanks, Thea. You’ve no idea what this means to me. And thanks for the honeymoon too.’
Anouska offered her thanks as well, then the next song began to play. The Supremes’ ‘Baby Love’. This time Anouska smiled at how apt the song choice was and decided to get herself into something a little sexier than jeans and a sweater. Being twelve weeks pregnant didn’t stop her indulging in certain things just yet.
The second she came off the phone, her mobile started blowing up with texts and calls, which this time she answered.
I knew he’d say yes. So happy for you both. Congratulations. Todd x
OMG, I just heard. I’m so happy for you. Lauren x
The girl gets her guy. Congrats, my love. Leigh-Ann x
Who told Leigh-Ann? She hadn’t even remembered to tell her she would be on air. Everything had happened so fast. Maybe she’d simply been listening to the radio at the right time.
Her phone rang. Ellie.
‘Congratulations! OMG, you’re getting married! Anouska, I am so happy for you.’
Anouska grinned at Ellie’s excitement. She wasn’t embittered by her own negative experience with Scott, if anything the opposite. She genuinely wanted Anouska and Jess’ proposals to go well, for her friends to get married.
‘Thank you. Zach’s on his way here.’
‘I won’t keep you then, I just wanted to congratulate you, well, both of you, actually, all of you. Bean, too, obviously.’
Anouska laughed. ‘Yep, it’ll never just be the two of us ever again. Oh wow, that’s a scary thought.’
‘Indeed. So make the most of your time on your own, just the two of you. Text me when you come back up for air.’
‘Ha. Wait, how did your date go?’
‘Now there’s a story, but that’ll keep for another day. Upshot is, we’re going out again tonight.’
‘Brilliant. Stick that to Scott.’
‘Funny, that’s how I felt initially. Right, I’m really going now. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’
‘I don’t think I can get myself in any more trouble, do you?’
‘Oh, yeah, you’re already pregnant. Fair point. Bye!’
Anouska grinned. She was lucky to have Ellie, and Jess. They made quite the team.
Twenty minutes later, Zach burst into the flat. Anouska didn’t know who gravitated towards who first. All she knew was she was in his arms, he in hers and they were kissing with a passion she hadn’t noticed in either of them in quite a while. Possibly not since Bean’s conception.
When they broke apart, Zach said, ‘Anouska, I’m so sorry. Stupid male pride. And I, pardon the pun, usually pride myself on not being a stereotypical alpha male, but I reverted to type with the way I reacted.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Anouska reassured him as she stroked his cheek, gazing into his beautiful gunmetal grey eyes.
‘I bolted when you needed me most. I have no excuse. I know guys aren’t meant to get emotional, but it was too big for me. I’d just learned about the baby and then your mother threw the proposal thing at me and I flipped. Two of the biggest events or decisions of my life, and your mum knew them before me. I saw red. I’m so sorry. I’ve been such an idiot. Can you ever forgive me?’ His eyes looked so doleful she almost wanted to laugh.
‘I already have, Zach. We–’ she pointed to her stomach ‘–already have. Haven’t we, Bean?’
Zach placed his hand on her stomach. ‘Hello, Bean. Daddy’s back.’