Chapter 16
Magnolia
After my disastrous date with Lance, the weekend passed by in relative calmness. On Saturday, Lexie and I went through the projects we felt would spruce up the house, watched YouTube videos and decided on the things we would do ourselves, then started to look online for a contractor to tackle the rest.
I had heard from Dr. Lewis, who had talked to Ben. Ben was thrilled about me coming on board part time. I’d be going in on Tuesday for a refresher and run down on how they work the clinic now. I was ecstatic . Luckily, once my old job had heard of the circumstances of why I had to relocate, they let me out of my contract. Now, I was free and clear to start working with Dr. Lewis. I have to say, I couldn’t wait to get back to my roots.
With not many plans set for the day, Lexie had run to the store to grab some things for the week. I had originally planned on going with her, but she said since she is moving to town, she has to start getting used to driving places on her own and mingling with the “townsfolk”.
I ventured into the kitchen, looking to see what I could scrounge up for lunch. Finding everything in the fridge for some BLTs, I got to preheating the oven so I could cook the bacon. In the middle of cutting the veggies, I couldn’t help but feel happy and at peace in this kitchen.
It reminded me of Sunday dinners, my dad’s awful attempt at cooking when he was home, and the memory of my mom and my laughter filling the space around me. My heart throbbed, but this time I was content being surrounded by our memories. A knock at the front door roused me back to the present.
I bet Lexie forgot her key.
“It’s open!” I yelled and continued placing the bacon on cookie sheets, my back turned when I heard hesitant shuffling behind me.
“I hope I’m not bothering you…” Lori’s voice caused me to whip around. She must have taken in my startled expression because she held her hands up in defense. “I should have knocked again instead of just coming in…it’s obvious you thought I was someone else.”
I took in her features; she looked tired, sad, and a little bit defeated. My heart ached for her, and if I was being honest, it ached for me, too. “Lori, please, sit.” I gestured to the barstools at the kitchen island. “Are you hungry? I’m making BLTs. It shouldn’t be more than fifteen or twenty more minutes.”
Lori’s round eyes showed she hadn’t expected me to invite her in at all, and before she could answer, the tears started.
“Oh, sweet girl…I’ve…I’ve missed you.” Her head hung low, and my already fractured heart started bleeding at the sound of her quiet tears. For the first time since being back in Rockland, I initiated a hug.
I rounded the island and pulled Lori into me, both of us finding comfort and solace in each other for the first time in eight years. I missed this . Once we seemed to compose ourselves, Lori pulled away from me, but kept me within arm’s reach as to fully take me in.
“You’re beautiful, Magnolia. I want to know everything about who you are now and what you’ve accomplished, but I think we must talk about the elephant in the room first.”
I sniffled; I knew she was right.
“I know it’s early afternoon…but would you like a glass of wine? I think we might need it,” I offered.
“I’ll never say no to a glass of wine, no matter what time it is.” She winked at me.
I walked to the refrigerator, knowing I had stored a bottle of pinot grigio in there, hoping like hell it was still one of Lori’s favorites.
“So, Cassie.” She half snarled, which took me a little bit by surprise because Lori hardly had an unkind word to say about anything, let alone anyone.
“You couldn’t even wait until I had the wine poured before we got into the ghosts of my past, could you?” I half joked.
“I’ve waited eight years, Magnolia…I don’t feel like waiting another second if I don’t have to.”
I nodded, unsure of what to say. I’m unsure of what she knows, and regardless of how I feel about Sloan, I wasn’t trying to create a wedge between him and his mom. That wasn’t my place.
“I feel as though I should start from the beginning, at least maybe fill you in on some of the blanks the best I can. I can’t help you when it comes to whatever my idiot son was thinking, but hopefully you’ll give me the chance to apologize. For my part in everything, anyway.” The tears started forming again, and I knew if she cried again, I would lose my composure. Thankfully, she just kept going, and I had a feeling if she stopped, she wouldn’t be able to start again.
“When your mom got sick, my attention was elsewhere—on her since your dad was still gone a lot, and on you because you were the one who was driving her to treatments, buying the groceries, cooking the meals, making sure the bills were paid. I had all my attention focused on getting you both through the day-to-day. I saw the light in your eyes dim every time you came back from your mom’s doctors’ appointments, only to be met with bad news. I would hear you cry in the shower when you thought no one was listening, and it broke my heart. It was around that time that I noticed Sloan was home less and less, and I realized he wasn’t here because I was here. It shocked me a little, and I sat him down and had a conversation with him about how, just because he might not know how to navigate this, your friendship was still important, and he needed to be there for you in your time of need. He confided in me that he was dating someone, and he didn’t know how to juggle your friendship and his new relationship. At that time, I was shocked to hear he was dating. A little disappointed it wasn’t you, but who was I to force a relationship between the two of you?”
I took a sip of my wine, doing my best not to dissociate so I could absorb everything she was saying.
“You continued to take on more of the stress with your mom’s sickness, and she was getting worse. I kept calling your dad, begging him to come back, but his own heartbreak was clouding his judgment as a husband and a father . I think he thought that if he stayed away long enough, he would come back to the way everything used to be.” Her voice cracked. “You pulled away from me, and with good reason. I thought you pulled away from Sloan as well. I begged him to keep an eye on you and help wherever he could. I didn’t know that meant he was sneaking into your bedroom window every night on the sly…” she said with ill-concealed disgust. “He told me that you and Cassie never got along, that it would be worse to tell you. I argued with him about it, but at that time you were barely keeping your head above water. I saw your grief suffocating you from the inside out, and I made a grave mistake in allowing him to keep the truth from you. When your mom passed, you were this shell of who you used to be; you never smiled. And then once the funeral was over, you were taking care of your dad, who had turned into a drunken version of himself.” The tears flowed freely down her cheeks.
“I knew it was wrong to keep the truth from you, but I couldn’t bring myself to give you one more reason not to smile. I had this dumb notion in my head that Cassie was a place filler for you until you and Sloan were ready to admit your feelings for each other. Turns out, I was wrong in that aspect as well. Cassie was dead set on getting her claws as far deep into my son as possible, but unfortunately , Cassie and Sloan’s relationship isn’t my story to tell. And as mad at my son as I am, I won’t betray his trust by filling you in. I don’t know all the details, so it wouldn’t be fair for me to gossip about it.”
“Yesterday, when we saw you, I asked Sloan about it, and he came clean. He told us about the conversation you overheard; he explained to us a little how Cassie used to treat you.” Her sad tears had transformed into tears of anger. “I’m so fucking mad at him, Magnolia.”
I gasped because I don’t think I had ever heard Lori swear once in my life.
“Oh stop, you’re an adult now, I can swear in front of you. I just need you to know that you were never an obligation to me. I considered you like my daughter; I still consider you like my own daughter. I would have never thought of you as an obligation… I am terribly sorry about my part in keeping Cassie a secret from you.” Tears were still streaming down her face. I pulled her into a second hug and let my tears spring free.
“I’m sorry it took me eight years to come home.” I was overcome with emotion, so that was the best I could do for now. I was ready to forgive and move on.