Chapter 34 Jenna
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
jenna
Death is calm. Death is peaceful.
The moment I see Axel, I know I am safe.
My body reacts before my brain can catch up, becoming numb, almost relaxed, as if it feels itself slipping toward peace.
Allowing myself to settle into the comfort, my mind files through all of my favorite people and memories: my parents cheering me on at my college graduation, Marley with her crazy hair and sleepy face greeting me each morning, Cal and Sarah stopping by my classroom at the end of each day to check in and tell me about their day.
And Axel—the man who forced his way into my heart even when I tried like hell to push him away.
Each one imprinted in my mind as I latch onto every happy moment.
“No, baby, please.” I hear it in the distance.
It feels like I’m underwater and someone is yelling at me from above.
Reaching through the darkness, I try to fight against the heavy weight surrounding me, trapping me inside.
The harder I fight, the more tired I become, and I know I won’t be able to break through.
I settle back into the peace, allowing the darkness to swallow me.
“Beep…Beep…Beep…”
I quickly reach my arm out to slam the snooze button on the extremely annoying alarm, only to have it snap back into place as pain laces up my arm. What the hell?
Pulling the weights from my eyes and opening them for what feels like the first time in months, I stare around the dark space.
Light filters in from under the door across the room, but the rest of the area is lit only by monitors to my right.
Looking down, I see why I can’t move my arm.
There are more lines and tubes attached to me than I ever thought possible.
Taking a slow, solid breath, I count to ten and try to recall the last thing I remember.
My heart rate picks up, and the monitor sounds loudly next to me. The sound of running water comes from the door where the light is peeking through, and I watch as it opens and Axel steps into the room.
He keeps his head down and turns off the light as he exits the restroom, not yet noticing me.
I take him in: his disheveled hair, the way he runs his hands through it, his shoulders slumped like he has the weight of the world on them.
The machine monitoring my heart hasn’t relaxed, and I watch as he notices the change in pace.
His eyes snap to mine, and I feel all the air leave my lungs. Great, here comes the tears again.
He freezes for only a moment, closing his eyes and muttering something under his breath before rushing to my side. Grabbing my hand, he peppers light kisses over my bruised and scraped knuckles.
“There’s my girl,” he says, his voice thick with emotion as he cups my face with his hand. “I am so sorry, Jenna.” His voice is low and gruff. I lean my cheek into his palm and let his presence soothe my frayed nerves.
“I-” I try to speak, but my throat feels like it’s on fire. Axel turns and grabs the small white Styrofoam cup off of the tray and brings the straw to my lips.
“Shh babe, you need to let your throat rest.” Axel mumbles as he smooths my hair back.
I take small sips and watch him look at me like I’m going to disappear at any moment.
I can tell he feels guilty about what happened but honestly, I never would have been the target had I not been the center of Jack’s sick delusions.
It was the perfect storm, turf war and a crazy ex-boyfriend.
I slightly push the cup away weakly and try to talk again.
“It’s not your fault,” I croak, my voice weak and gravelly.
Axel’s eyes narrow, his glare stopping me from continuing. “Are you joking? Jenna, you wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me!” He straightens his body and looks massive in this tiny room; I watch as his shoulders tense and he runs his hand through his hair again.
“God, I should have protected you. When I woke up and you were gone…” he stops and stares off above my head as if he’s in a trance. After a few moments his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows his pain. “I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again.” He all but whispers.
“Axel,” I say but he stays staring over my head like I’m not even here anymore. “Axel, look at me!”
This time I break through and his eyes flick to me. Darkness swirls in his deep brown irises, a rage and pain like I’ve never seen in him before.
“What happened was on the Reapers—on Jack. I knew exactly what I was getting into when I chose you. I tried to walk away, tried to let you go, but I can’t.” I take a deep breath and try to steady my nerves. Oh God, am I really about to do this?
“So, stop acting like you dragged me into this. I know you would never put me in harm’s way intentionally.
” I reach for him, hoping he hears me. Axel sighs and slowly drops into the chair next to the bed.
I run my hand down his cheek, to his neck, finally resting it on his shoulder.
The gold necklace he always wears catches the light, and I trace the chain until I find the ring that hangs from it.
I’ve seen it quite a few times, but being this close I can see a small but beautiful oval-shaped emerald.
Surrounding it gold leaves and vines wrap around the gem, securing it to the thin gold band.
I quickly realize that I’ve been entranced by the ring when his hand comes to wrap around mine.
Axel is still, he doesn’t say anything but his eyes hold me in a way that makes my stomach fill with butterflies.
“I love you, Dane. I love you so much it hurts sometimes.” I barely get the last word out before he crashes his lips to mine. A small wince as pain radiates from my mouth, but it is instantly soothed by the soft feel of his lips against mine. As quickly as the kiss started Axel is pulling away.
“No—wait” I try to pull him back in, but he isn’t focused on our kiss anymore. Axel brings his hands behind his neck and unclasps the necklace. Slowly I watch as the ring I was just staring at slips off the gold chain and falls into his palm. It looks tiny in his large hand.
“What are you doing?”
“This was my mom’s,” he says in a husky voice. He stares at the ring for a moment, then wraps his hand around it and closes his eyes. A small smile appears on his lips as if he is remembering a happy memory.
“She gave it to me a few weeks before she died. I always thought I was never going to settle down, honestly, I didn’t see the point.
The club was my life and all I cared about was the shop and my club.
But she knew, she knew I’d find you.” My gut twists as I bring my hand up to cover my mouth.
My vision becomes blurry and I can feel the hot tears burning the back of my eyes as I try to hold them in.
“My mom told me that one day I would find a woman that sets my world on fire. Someone so amazing that I couldn’t picture living life without them.
I thought she was talking crazy, but she was right, she always was.
” Dane slides the ring onto my left ring finger, a perfect fit.
The corner of his lips curling into a smile as he peers down at my hand, rubbing small circles on my skin with his thumb.
“Jenna, I can’t picture my life without you in it.
I want your daily sarcasm and stubborn personality.
I want to wake up every morning to your sleepy smile and fall asleep to you rambling about your day.
I love you so much, babe. And I understand you think this all started quickly, but I think I knew from the moment I saw you that you were mine.
” Axel brings his hand up and wipes my face.
I hadn’t realized the tears I had been holding back had begun to fall.
“So, what do you say, baby? Will you marry me? Be mine to love, protect and cherish for the rest of our lives?”
I swipe at my face as fast as I can to gain some sense of composure and start nodding like a crazy person. This whirlwind of a man stormed into my life like a tornado and ripped everything I thought I knew to shreds. But he replaced it with more love than I could ever imagine.
“Of course, I will marry you!” I finally say pulling him into me, not caring that he is getting tangled in the cords attached to me.
Almost on cue, a doctor flies into the room followed be a gaggle of nurses who quickly start to asses me.
With a smile, Axel pulls away and lets them do their job.
But he never once takes his eyes off me.
God, I love this man.