Chapter 4
Sweat coats my skin, making my T-shirt stick to me as I finish my run. Running has always allowed me to clear my mind and help me focus, but since Lara arrived, it’s all been shot to shit.
Every time I try to push her from my mind, I see her face as we turned on her—the pain in her eyes before she could mask it.
I saw no guilt. Honestly, if I had to put money on it, I’d say Lara is as innocent as she’s claiming to be. But I’ve been wrong before—an image of Cooper flashes through my mind—and I won’t risk everyone here because my dick salutes every time she walks past me.
I shake my head, reminding myself that she’s seventeen. Seven-fucking-teen. What kind of man gets hard for a girl half his age, one that’s not even an adult yet?
I grimace. If anyone should feel guilty, it’s me.
As I run past Hawk and Creed’s place, I slow down when I spot Avery sitting on the deck with a mug in her hand. Her gaze is on the mountains in the distance, but something tells me she’s not seeing them right now.
“Hey, Avery, you okay?” I stop and wait until she turns to look at me. She looks tired and anxious.
“I guess. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“You talk to your men about it?”
“They’re busy getting everything packed up so we can move into Luna’s old place. With Ev and Bella and the baby on the way, we need the room.”
“Makes sense.” I sit on the bottom step, keeping a little space between us so I don’t crowd her.
“If you need someone to talk to, I’m a pretty good listener,” I offer.
She shakes her head and huffs out a little laugh before lifting her mug to her lips.
“Should you be drinking coffee in your condition?” I ask.
“It’s decaf,” she says before taking a drink.
“Oh.”
Judging by her grimace, it’s not good.
“Anyway, thanks for the offer, but I’m not sure you, of all people, can help me right now.”
I frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She looks at me and lifts an eyebrow as if to say, really?
I blow out a breath. “Lara.”
“She’s all I can think about. I fucked up. I let her down when she needed me, and I don’t think she’ll let me back in again.”
I roll my eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I didn’t defend her. When everyone attacked her, I didn’t step in.”
“We were protecting our family,” I say defensively.
“She might not be family to us yet, but to those kids, she’s mom and dad all rolled into one. And we took her from them.”
I don’t know what to do with that, so I keep my mouth shut. The truth is, Lara is probably all they know, but that doesn’t necessarily make her the best person to look after them.
“What we went through… How she kept a cool head and made sure all those kids were safe…” She shakes her head and blows out a breath. “She helped me get home. Shouldn’t that make her my friend?”
I shrug. “Escaping a madman doesn’t make you friends. She is a kid, though. Maybe we are being hard on her, given her age.”
Now it’s Avery’s turn to frown. “I’d hardly call her a kid. I don’t know what your life was like at that age, but mine, Astrid’s, and Salem’s were anything but easy. She’s not a normal teenager. She’s seen too much, and I bet she’s been asked to do things she didn’t want to. If our experiences determined our age, I’d say she’s far more mature than you and Wilder put together.”
I cross my arms, trying to figure out if that’s a compliment to Lara or an insult to me.
“Bella refused to stay here last night. She wanted to stay with Delaney and the boys.”
“She’s a kid. Of course she’d want that.”
“I think it was more than that. She’s mad at me for the way everything went down yesterday. And I worry that, as a result, she’ll be reluctant to tell me about her visions in the future in case they upset anyone.”
I run my fingers through my hair and sigh. “I think you should talk to her. Tell her you’re not mad. I’m sure she’ll forgive you.”
“I wasn’t mad to begin with. I was shocked and, if anything, pissed at myself for not figuring it out sooner.”
“How could you? If Bella hadn’t let it slip, none of us would have known. What pisses me off is that she didn’t tell us herself. That she was going to hide it from us.”
“Was she? You seem to know an awful lot about the thought process of a girl you’ve known for a week.” She gives me a knowing look, and I open my mouth, not sure what I”m about to say, when her face falls, and she sighs. “I’ve been thinking about what I would have done if Penn were my dad, and I can honestly say I wouldn’t have said anything either. Not until I was sure I could trust you. Hell, I didn’t tell you all I had a gift, and I considered you my family.”
“You’re right, Avery. I don’t know her, neither of us do, and maybe that will change, but in the meantime, it would be wise to be cautious.”
“Then don’t expect her not to act the same way.”
I look away, not sure I like that idea. If she’s overly cautious, we won’t get the information out of her that we need.
Avery laughs. “You can’t have it both ways, Crew. You want to treat her with suspicion, then be prepared for her to return the favor.”
Hmm… unless I can get her to lower her guard enough to let us in. I doubt she has much experience with men. Maybe her inexperience will come in handy. If we can get her to like us, then maybe she’ll share. And if she does and exposes herself as a plant for her father, we’ll be ready. If it turns out she’s innocent, then she’ll eventually understand our motives. After all, she told us herself that the most important thing is to keep the kids safe. And right now, this is the only way I can think to do it.
I stand up and look at Avery.
“Everything is a little fresh right now, but Bella will come around, and so will Lara. I’m going to go finish my run and grab a shower. I have my own apology to give.”
She frowns at me for a moment before her expression changes, and I realize she’s using her gift to tell if I’m lying. Fuck, I’m going to have to be careful how I word things.
“You’re serious. I thought you were still insisting she wasn’t trustworthy.”
“I never said she wasn’t trustworthy, just that I was wary of her, that’s all. But you made me realize I’m being a bit of a dick.”
She stares at me in shock, and I can’t say I blame her. This is a complete one-eighty from when I sat down. But what I said was true. I never said she wasn’t trustworthy. And I am a dick. I just don’t think sharing my plan with her will make me very popular, so I need to make it believable. The fewer people that know, the better.
I finish my run, take a shower, and get dressed in a pair of black jeans and a gray T-shirt.
When I head out to the living area, I find Wilder at the kitchen island with a coffee in front of him.
“Hey, where were you this morning so early?”
“Couldn’t sleep. I patrolled the perimeter before heading over to the main house.”
I take in his expression. “Something wrong?”
He looks up at me and sighs. “No. Everything looked fine. I just have this weird feeling, that’s all. I went over to see Zig.”
“Because he seems to have a sixth sense when it comes to weird feelings.”
“Yeah. I figured if he hadn’t sensed anything wrong, then it was probably just in my head.”
“And, what did he say?”
“Not much. Just told me to keep an eye out and my ear to the ground.”
“Fuck. So he senses something off, too, huh?”
“That’s my take on it. Though, to be fair, he was a little preoccupied when I saw him. One of the kids couldn’t sleep. She spent most of the night crying for Lara.”
An uncomfortable feeling swells inside me. It was my suggestion that we separate the kids from Lara to begin with.
“Do you think it’s linked to Lara?”
“What? The odd feeling?”
I nod, reaching into the cupboard for a glass before filling it with water.
“I don’t see how. She’s had no contact with anyone outside Apex. She has no cell phone, laptop, or tablet, so she has no access to the internet or to email.”
I nod, taking a drink of my water.
“Can I ask you something?”
I nod. “Sure.”
“What do you want to do about Lara? I know we’ve backed off because of her age and who her father is. But she won’t be seventeen forever, like everyone keeps reminding us.”
I groan and take the seat beside him. “I feel like a fucking pervert. I knew she was young, but I thought she was like twenty-one. She doesn’t act like any seventeen-year-old I know, and she sure as hell doesn’t look like one. Not with all those curves. She looks more like a Victoria Secret model than a high school aged teenager
“Know many teenagers, do you?”
“No, but…” I rub my hand down my face.
He doesn’t say anything while he waits for me to answer his original question.
“Fucking hell, Wilder. What do you want me to say? Do I still want her? Of course I do, she’s a fucking goddess, a dream, but that’s all it will ever be. She’s half our fucking age.”
“You know there’s an age gap between all the women and their men here, right? But I’m not talking about doing anything while she is still seventeen. I’m talking about afterward,” he says before he sighs. “But we don’t know if we can trust her yet.”
“We don’t know that we can’t.” I play devil’s advocate. “Anyway, this brings me to what I wanted to talk to you about. I was talking to Avery this morning, and it got me thinking.”
“Why do I feel like I’m not going to like this?”
“Probably because you won’t.” I brace myself but push on. “Avery made a point earlier about how Lara will probably keep herself guarded now.”
“Can’t blame her for that. Trust goes both ways, right?”
“I know, and I get it, but we don’t have the time to build it just so we can unearth the answers she is hiding.”
His eyes widen. “The answers she’s hiding? What the fuck does that mean?”
“She worked for the Division. I’m not saying she’d willingly put those kids in danger, far from it, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t know something that she might keep to herself to protect her father.”
“Shit.”
“I’m not saying they have a perfect father-daughter relationship. She wouldn’t have run with the kids if that was the case. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care for the man. You know how complicated families can be.”
He nods. “So, what’s your plan? Clearly, you have one.”
“I think we need to get close to her. Just as friends for now, though I think she has a crush on us. So, a little flirting wouldn’t hurt. Once we’ve gained her trust, I’m sure she’ll tell us everything we need to know.”
He frowns. “And then what?”
“Then we can back off.”
“Jesus, Crew. I’m not that much of a dick. I’m not going to play with this girl’s emotions like that. Besides, I don’t know if, when all is said and done, I’ll be able to walk away.”
I look at him for a second, wishing things could’ve been different.
“Depending on what we find out, you might just have to.”