Chapter 18
Drew
Stop being so damn insecure.
Whatever Henry was doing on his phone must have been important.
He kept checking his messages every few minutes, and it was absolutely wearing on me.
It was silly, and my mind went to a bad place.
Was it natural to replay my last few weeks with Jonathan?
Because that’s exactly where my insecurity was taking me.
In the hindsight that only exists at one a.m. in an empty bedroom when sleep is impossible, my previous belief that I hadn’t seen anything coming was incredibly and profoundly wrong.
Looking back, it was so obvious. The business trips they started going on solo, the working nights that came more often and lasted longer.
Each time, I’d gone from arm candy to allowing them to decide I was a homebody.
I’d let them redefine me because I was afraid to stand up for myself, and if I was honest, it was because I’d known what my position was, which had never been on equal footing.
The signs had all been there, but I was the ostrich with my head buried in the sand.
Those middle-of-the-night introspection sessions had been an absolute bitch.
“It’s totally fine. I understand business is more important,” I reassured him.
To my absolute surprise, rather than grabbing his phone again or nodding his agreement, he put it on the table face down and turned the volume off.
“No, it’s not. I’m sorry for being rude.”
I hadn’t expected an apology, and honestly, it wasn’t even necessary, but I appreciated it nonetheless. I gave Henry a small smile, and he returned his attention to Ben, who was still on my lap.
“After I took you away from the office today, it’s expected.”
He gave me a knowing look and covered my hand with his. The unspoken words clearly said that I had lost my damn mind.
“Nah, it doesn’t work like that.”
“Fine, but before I forget, thank you for today. It was so much better because you were with me. Did you like it?”
“I liked some parts a lot.”
“Oh, tell me.”
“So, the relaxing was nice, but it was super helpful for working through some issues on a few case files. I might try it again and see if lightning strikes twice.” Henry looked sheepish at his confession, but if it worked, it worked. “But that wasn’t the best part.”
“What was that?”
“You.”
Oh, for Pete’s sake, this man was going to make me blush like a twelve-year-old with his first crush. I waved him away, but he captured my hand and kissed my fingers. I melted. Full-on swooned and became in desperate need of a fainting couch.
Wrapped up in each other, we’d completely missed that Marc and Ben were in the middle of a face-off. Marc wasn’t winning.
“Have you decided on what you really want to eat?” Henry asked him.
Ben gave Henry a sweet smile, then turned his head and gave his father a pouty lip. “Daddy said no crab legs. I want to use the thingy.”
“The good news is, since Uncle Henry’s paying the bill, Uncle Henry gets to decide what you get for dinner, and if you want crab legs, you’re getting them.”
“See, Daddy? Uncle Henry said yes.”
“And it’s such a waste. You’re going to eat two bites.”
I could see that Ben was gearing up for a full-on temper tantrum, and maybe I shouldn’t have interfered, but it was my birthday. I wanted him to be happy because I adored this kid. Picking him up in the morning and having him give me a pep talk on the way to work was the best part of my day.
“Would it be okay if we shared them?” I asked Ben.
“Yeah, but I get to do the crushy thing,” he countered.
“Deal.”
Crisis averted, we sat at the table and waited for the server to come back and take our order.
I was a little surprised they were taking so long, but it was busy, so they probably just got caught up somewhere else.
Between the leaves of our vine-covered walls, I could see packed tables of people.
But our table had a completely unobstructed view of the water and rocks below.
I imagined that in some seasons, the rocks would potentially be used by seals or sea otters for a little sunbathing.
At Ben’s insistence, I returned my attention to coloring cars until, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed two servers had returned to the table.
Oddly, they didn’t say anything when they got there but just stood quietly for a few moments.
I was caught up with coloring, but Marc and Henry had also gone quiet too.
When I glanced up, I nearly choked on my own breath.
“Oh my God. Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?”
I knew I should get up and hug them, but I was rooted to my chair, dumbfounded. My folks stood there grinning at my speechlessness. Henry and Marc were laughing, and Ben was quiet with me, his eyes darting around to everyone as he tried to figure out exactly what was going on.
“Hey, Ben, c’mere so Drew can get up,” Henry said and hauled a protesting Ben off my lap.
With some effort, I pushed my chair back and staggered to my feet. It had been three years since I’d seen them in person. They never had the money to fly out and, well, I had no excuses that carried any weight. There’d always been a reason or excuse.
They looked the same as they’d always looked, but I could tell they’d made an effort to dress up for the occasion.
My dad had on his good polo, clean cowboy boots, and nice jeans.
My mom’s dress was probably bought at a discount store or at the mall in Wall Lake, but it was summery and pretty, and she’d taken the time to put on makeup, which she never did.
They looked nervous, as if they weren’t aware that they were the best, most fantastic, amazing surprise in the world.
“You guys,” I finally managed to choke out.
The shock that kept me standing near my chair finally loosened its hold, and I flew over to them and wrapped my arms around them.
My mom and I immediately turned on the waterworks, while my dad sounded suspiciously congested.
Hearing about how they came to be there today could wait.
Now I just wanted to soak them in. They may not have understood their queer kid and certainly hadn’t always been pleased with the choices I’d made over the years, but I never questioned their love.
Hell, lately I’d figured out that I should’ve questioned myself more.
After more tears and hugs, I finally had myself under control enough to introduce them to the table. Except I immediately froze on how to introduce everyone. Marc and Ben were obviously simple enough, but Henry? Shit. Boyfriend? Halfway house sponsor? Benefactor? Daddy? Shit. Shit. Shit.
“Hi, I’m Marc, and this is my son Ben. It’s so nice to meet you.”
My dad offered his hand to shake while my mom nodded. She’d slipped her arm around my waist and wasn’t quite ready to let me go.
“And I’m Henry.”
Fair enough, no description required, but I felt the twinge in my chest that he hadn’t been able to choose a label either.
“It’s so nice to meet you. Please call me Jeremy. Lydia and I were so excited when you called us about coming out here. It’s been too long since we saw our boy.”
I knew this wasn’t the kind of place my parents usually went to or were comfortable in, but I appreciated them coming out so much.
“Oh, good, everyone’s here now,” the server announced.
My folks settled themselves at the table, with my dad next to Marc and my mom next to me.
She’d yet to let go of my hand, but I was perfectly okay with that.
Ben had insisted on getting back onto my lap.
It was sweet to see how taken he was with her and she with him.
Never once had she complained about the lack of grandchildren in her life or asked if I’d be having kids, but watching her with Ben, I knew she’d have been an amazing grandmother.
On my other side, Henry sat close and discreetly clasped my fingers a few times. After each squeeze, I’d glance over at him and smile. It didn’t go unnoticed.
“Andrew, what’s going on with you and Henry?” my mom whispered.
I loathed and detested being called by my full name, but my parents had insisted on no nicknames ever growing up. But I was an adult, dammit.
“Huh, Mom? Call me Drew, please.” Then I held my breath while I waited to see her response.
“I’ll tell your dad, but answer my question.”
Ben was completely engrossed in his current coloring project, so I wasn’t too worried about him overhearing us, but unfortunately, I didn’t have an answer for her.
I loved him, but our relationship was thoroughly and completely undefined.
“We’re friends.”
My mom shot me a knowing look.
“What? We are,” I hedged.
“That’s it? Because it’s a heckuva friend who sends someone’s parents plane tickets for a birthday party.”
Thankfully, she reached over and rescued one of Ben’s crayons from rolling to the deck. It saved me from having to answer.
He gave her the sweetest smile, which she eagerly returned. From that moment, all hope of remaining his favorite was gone. He scrambled off my lap, plopped himself onto hers instead, and was thoroughly in love all within the space of about a minute.
Maybe I wasn’t sure how to describe my connection to Henry, but I would worry about that later. Most likely it’d be at a dreaded one a.m. introspection marathon, but at least it wasn’t now.
“Excuse me, where is the restroom?” I asked a passing server as I moved away from the table.
“Downstairs, second door on the left at the end of the hallway.”
I nodded my thanks and started to wind my way through the maze of tables.
More than anything, I just needed a moment to catch my breath.
My mom’s question was stuck in my mind, and I wasn’t sure what the correct answer was.
I was more than a little scared of history repeating itself.
This wasn’t the first time I’d been in love, but it might be my last, and it made me a little queasy to think that I was putting myself in the same position I’d always been in—wanted and needed until I became disposable.