33. Silas
33
SILAS
E motionally, I’m all over the place, but so is Graham, so in that way, we fit together fine. This is something I’ve wanted more and more the longer we’ve been together. It’s not like me in general. I consider myself a bottom, through and through, but I tend to top Graham, even when I’m technically bottoming for him.
There’s almost no way I haven’t had sex, so I know what I like, and I know what I’m good at. But this relationship is something else. Obviously, it’s extremely special to me—he is. But it’s also unlike any dynamic I’ve ever found myself in. Graham’s a bottom, too, and I’ve fantasized more times than I’d like to admit about what it would be like to sink inside him—the sounds he might make—the way his virgin ass will feel wrapped around me—if it’ll be half as good as his mouth.
But the fucking cage? He’s driving me crazy with that thing. It’s so hot—seeing his big cock all shrunken down and wrapped up in metal is a new kink for real—but it’s gotta suck. Doesn’t it hurt?
“I like the way it hurts.”
I guess that was out loud .
I’m going out of my mind as he lies down on the mattress, naked. I mindlessly stroke myself as I stand at the foot of the bed, watching him, taking note of all the differences since the last time I saw him. Before.
His arms and shoulders are more defined, sharp with muscle. His ribs are visible, and his abs are flat. He’s gorgeous—ridiculously so, but the loss of any inch of him seems criminal. A sacrifice I didn’t want to make. Still, he’s glorious in the sunlight. Smooth olive skin, dark dustings of hair on his chest, belly, and legs, bright emerald eyes… His beauty eviscerates me.
I’m hard again, and I slow my strokes, my gaze now on the cage between his thighs.
“Let me take it off,” I ask again. “I want to touch you.”
He shakes his head while he rubs at his swollen balls. “I want to come with it on.”
No pressure. “What if you can’t?”
“Can we try?”
Fuck, he knows I can’t say no to him. “How do you see this happening? Legs in the air or hands and knees?”
“Hands and knees?”
“Is that a question?”
“I’m asking if that’s okay.”
I shrug before putting my own hands on the bed and crawling over him. “We can try. Grab the lube.”
It’s on the nightstand already, so not much of a stretch. He passes it to me, and I pat his hip. “Roll over, puppy.”
He makes a sound that’s almost like a laugh. The most normal it’s felt since before. I go on, making a joke about doggy-style, and he laughs more distinctly. I take a moment to appreciate his ass with my hands before bending over to gently bite one of the still plump cheeks. I’m glad he hasn’t lost too much weight here. He’s got a jiggle that turns me the fuck on. He’s gonna eat those chicken and dumplings before he leaves here today if I have to fuck him to the point of starvation. It’s more than enough motivation—that on top of the fact that I’ve been thinking about this nearly every hour of every day for three weeks.
I figure I’ll either last two minutes or two hours. If it ends up being two minutes, I’ll just do it again. That’s the plan. “You have a great ass,” I tell him.
“Yeah?”
“Definitely. I never mentioned that?”
“I don’t think so.”
“You’ve got a lot of nice parts. Sure wish I could touch all of them right now.”
“Will you get past this? Look, if you wanna know the truth, I saw on Reddit that anal feels good with the cage on.”
I burst out laughing. “Were you looking that up on the Capitol’s wi-fi?”
He collapses into laughter, his head on his folded arms. “Probably. Jesus. Shut up.”
I press a dry finger to his hole, and he sucks in a breath.
“ Anal feels good period,” I tell him.
He lets out a long sigh. “God…yeah…I figured.”
My fingertip slides inside as he opens for me, and it’s my turn to suck in a breath. His ass is gonna swallow me whole. I wrap my hand around his hip and bend in half to press a kiss to his opening, flicking my tongue up and down as he squirms and makes his soft little sounds. I love those so, so fucking much.
His hole is a slut, opening so easily, it’s hard to believe this is his first time. My tongue keeps accidentally sliding inside, and every time it surprises me. The same way he always has. Every time with him, I get something new—see some other aspect of him that’s as unexpected as it is wonderful. But I’m leaking on the bed and definitely headed more in the two minutes direction. I need to get inside him before I come on the sheets. I’ll spend way more time here later, but the cage feels like a ticking bomb. I want it off him in the worst way, and if I have to fuck him first, I need to get on that .
Popping the top on the lube, I slick up my cock and squirt some directly on his tight, puckered opening. It relaxes again as the cool gel lands on it, and I stare, fascinated. I’ve never done this with someone I actually care about. I’m nervous because I know it can hurt, which is part of what’s great about it—all the exploding sensation—but also kind of sucks? What if he hates it?
“Do you need me to go slow?” I ask, stalling with my dick in my hand an inch away from his entrance.
“Silas, what I really need is for you to stop overthinking this. I need you. Just fucking give it to me.”
I bite my lip and furrow my brow, moving incrementally closer until my dripping crown is notched against his hole. He opens easily for me, and I run both hands over his hips, praying my body will figure out what to do on its own because he’s so right. I’m overthinking the hell out of this. Closing my eyes, I focus on the warmth of his skin beneath my palms, the firm swells and edges. Maybe we move together, because my cock is suddenly compressed and hot.
“ Ahhh…. ” That’s both of us as I keep sinking.
“Mmmph… baby ,” he groans, rocking his hips to adjust. My hips meet his ass, and I look down, no longer able to see even an inch of my cock. I pull back slightly to confirm I’m actually inside him because very little is making logical sense. It’s all heat and heartbeats and fuzz in my brain.
Another long moan from him as I move, shivering when I’m sucked back in. He curses.
God, fuck . This is incredible. How did I not like this before? When did I decide it wasn’t “me?”
“Jesus,” he bursts. “Right there.”
I feel it, too…the slightest contour of his prostate as my crown slides past it. I grip his hips and move him instead of myself, because I don’t have the control it would take not to drive him into the mattress .
“Tell me what to do,” he says, his breaths increasingly shallow and his words strained with need. “Teach me how to take you.”
“Clench,” I manage to say, and then I groan like a dying animal when he does.
“Mm…fuck… Silas …that feels so fucking good. Fuck…”
I keep moving him, and he keeps clenching. My insides are liquefying, and that tenuous grasp I have on my control is slipping. “I need to…I need…” I can’t get the words out.
“Yes,” he tells me. “Yes. Please.”
My hips thrust hard, and he shouts as his hand slaps the headboard to brace himself.
“Silas— fuck — please …”
I’m too fucking close. My thighs are shaking, my toes are fucking curling. I’m doing everything I can not to come before he does, but I’m not gonna make it. Pounding into his ass with a total lack of restraint, the slap of our balls has me close to blacking out.
An unholy sound erupts from him, and his ass ripples around my thrusting cock. His back bends like he’s fucking possessed, and he literally scratches marks into the wooden headboard.
I lose the battle. My balls are too tight. His ass is too tight. Too hot. His moans and spasms are too overstimulating, and I’m… “Fuck, I can’t.” It sounds like a sob as I come so fucking hard I stop breathing. My cock swells and pulses painfully in his tight channel, and this goes on for so long I stop seeing and hearing. I’ve got a death grip on his hips as I unload every last drop of me into his ass, and when there’s nothing left, I collapse on top of him. We land with a grunt on the mattress. I slide half off his sweaty back and my dick slips out of him abruptly—zero finesse whatsoever.
Not my finest moment, but I’m beyond caring. I’ll apologize later…make it up to him, I think blearily through the fog of post orgasmic haze. Moments later, my hand finds his head, and I run my fingers through his sweaty hair. “Are you okay? I’m sorry. ”
“S—s—sorry?” he stutters.
“Are you okay?” I ask again.
“Silas…fuck.”
He hasn’t said much more than that for a while, so I’m not sure what to make of it.
“I’ve never come like that in my life,” he says.
“You came?”
“Fuck yeah.”
So many fucks. I love it.
“It was hard to tell,” I say. “That fucking thing…”
Graham rolls over drawing my attention to his cage where his dick is purple and shiny with clear precum. “I didn’t ejaculate. It was like—all inside. Has that ever happened to you?”
I shake my head stupidly.
“It was… Fuck , Silas.”
I grin and reach down to caress his cage. “Take. This fucking thing. Off.”
“Give me ten minutes. I’m not sure I can walk yet.”
“I want a key,” I tell him.
“Fine,” he grumbles, snuggling up next to me, his arm locking around my waist. He kisses my neck long and slow.
I sigh into his hair and shut my eyes again. He feels so good. I love him so much. And then, slowly, I remember. “Are you okay, though? Really? Was that what you needed? Did it even help?”
Stupid fucking questions.
But he nods. Hums. Kisses my neck some more. “You’re all I need to be okay.”
A warm glow fills my chest, as light and cozy as the sunlight in this apartment. “I want that,” I tell him.
“What?”
“To be with you. For this to go on and on. I want to love you whenever and however I can.”
“Then you should move in here.”
“Seriously? ”
“You make it feel like home.”
I touch his jaw and lift his face. “I?—”
He kisses me to shut me up. “I love you,” he says, stealing the words from my mouth. “I love you so fucking much.”
It’s wonderful and horrible. Impossible and miraculous. It makes me want to laugh and cry. But I just kiss him again. “I love you, too.”
We share the chicken and dumplings, eating from the same bowl in bed. He tells me it’s the best he’s ever had. I think it’s pretty good, so I don’t challenge the assessment. Before he leaves I give him the other gift I promised him. A slim leather bracelet that fits snugly above his right wrist bone. Inside, the words I had burned into it are Property of S.M . He loves it and promises to get me one almost exactly like it.
It’s one more thing to look forward to. But mostly, I just want him to come back.