Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
The air was salty and humid, the sand dark and wet as I walked across the shore of our beach, heading to the police tent that had been set up in front of a mid-sized white boat. Police swarmed the boat, some with cameras, some with notepads, some with bags containing who knew what.
I spied Kessler right away, with Dannika just feet behind me, and headed toward her. She was talking to another officer, a short male, but when she caught my eye, they broke apart, her patting his arm before walking to meet me in the middle.
“Mrs. Lewis, thank you for meeting me.” As she said my name, I noticed something different about her.
A coldness. A separation. She was all business now, and that terrified me.
I knew what bad news looked like before it was delivered.
Between work and Nate, I’d been on the receiving end of it too many times to count.
“What’s happening?” I asked, my hands shaking as I glanced over at the boat again. It wasn’t damaged or broken, from what I could tell. It looked to be in fine shape.
She followed my gaze, then brought me back to her.
“The boat was found by our department this morning. Some tourists called the police and claimed that it had washed ashore, but there was no one aboard. The marina owner reported that he’d had a boat stolen last night, one that had been rented by Ben but was never returned.
We’ve just confirmed this is that boat.”
A cold chill ran over me as I heard her words in slow motion. “And…and you’re sure it’s my Ben?”
“We’re sure. The money came from your joint account.
They have a copy of his ID and CCTV footage from the time that he came to pick it up.
It was just before the storm. The marina owner claims he told Ben that he should hold off on going out until the storm passed, but has no way of knowing if he did. ”
I sucked in a slow, steady breath. “Okay…okay. So, what does that mean? I mean, the boat’s not damaged. Maybe they didn’t end up taking it out after all. Maybe it broke loose.”
Her eyes were sorrowful as they danced between mine.
“There’s quite a bit of water on the inside.
It could be from the rain, but we’re…we think it’s likely there may have been a wave that knocked them overboard.
An inexperienced sailor in a storm like that…
The odds of them surviving aren’t good. We can’t be sure just yet, but I want you to be prepared.
We’ve got a team headed out to search for the bodies. ”
The tears I’d barely been keeping at bay pushed through at that moment, and my knees collapsed underneath me, slamming me onto the wet sand.
I felt the water seeping through my pants, but I couldn’t care.
I couldn’t breathe. I sucked in a breath, pushing it out with force, but it was as if the air contained no oxygen.
I clutched a hand to my chest. In, out. In, out.
Whatever pain I’d experienced in my life, it was nothing compared to this.
My stomach tightened the longer I thought about it, and I couldn’t prevent myself from thinking about it.
I felt a hand on my back and I knew it was Dannika, but my vision and hearing were tunneling, the world around me growing faint as I fought harder to focus.
My heart pounded in my chest, and I focused on it.
The steady thud thud, thud thud, thud thud.
I patted my hand to my chest, following the pattern.
I had to breathe. I needed to hear the rest.
Dannika bent down next to me, an arm around my shoulders, and rested her head against mine. She didn’t say a word, didn’t have to, but helped shoulder my grief with her actions. “Can you tell us what will happen next?” she asked the officer.
“From all that you’ve told me, Palmer, I know it’s hard to hear, but I believe Ben was planning to leave you.
It seems like he took the money with the intent of running away when the timing was right.
We believe we’ve located his parents, but we haven’t been able to make contact.
I have officers headed to their residence now to see if we can get them to confirm my suspicions.
If Ben contacted them, it’s likely they knew his plan.
Right now, we’re searching the boat to see if there’s any indication of what happened, and we’ve got crews out searching for the…
” She hesitated. “For their bodies, like I said. I believe it’s just a matter of time. ”
I let out a sob, my fingers going to my lips.
“I’m so sorry, Palmer,” Dannika whispered, squeezing me tighter.
“Does she have someone she can stay with?” Kessler asked, her voice cool and official.
“She can stay with me,” Dannika said. “For as long as she needs.”
I looked up at the officer, who nodded with a tight jaw.
I fought back still-tunneling vision, feeling sure I was going to throw up at any moment.
I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t feel, couldn’t think.
It all hurt. It hurt to cry, to inhale, to exhale, to scream.
I fell further onto the ground, resting on my elbows as I sobbed into the wet sand.
It wasn’t possible. It wasn’t.
I’d fought so hard to bring my baby into the world.
I’d grown his little lips, formed his little fingers, and someone had ripped him away from me.
Everything in my future had been ripped away in the blink of an eye.
No first steps, no first words, no preschool, no teaching him to swim, no watching him see the ocean for the first time.
It was all just…gone. He was gone. I’d never hold my son again.
Never look into his sparkling blue eyes.
Never hear what his laugh would’ve sounded like. Never hear him call me ‘Mommy.’
I couldn’t catch my breath as I tried to, still face down in the sand. I didn’t care enough to lift up. Dannika’s hands were on my back again, pulling me up, and I heard Kessler say something.
The words were fuzzy, like my vision, and before I could focus, darkness found me.