Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Ithink we should call the police,” Ty said, his voice firm, once I’d told them what I’d learned. I was practically in hysterics, and Dannika seemed torn between my panic and Ty’s calm.
“I mean, I agree, but I don’t want to just go home and wait. There has to be something else we can do.”
“What more can you do, Palmer? The rest should be up to the police,” he said.
“The police move at a snail’s pace. You know that better than anyone.
We’ve seen that just over the course of this investigation.
Everything helpful up to this point has been found by me.
If I wait and let them work through the red tape, it may be too late.
We have to go there. We have to find him. ”
“Okay, but you know where he is now, right? The police didn’t know that before.
Now, you know he’s in Red River. So we have a location we can give them.
Even if you drive to Red River, how will you find him?
Are you going to go door to door? That’s not plausible,” Ty cautioned, thinking like a lawyer rather than a parent.
“What if it was Darius who was missing, Ty? Or Niles? Or Zayla?” They tensed at the mere thought of it, the thought of my reality becoming theirs.
“You wouldn’t sit back and let the police do their jobs, and you know it.
This is my son, Ty. I don’t have a choice to let them handle it.
If I do that, Kat and her husband could hurt him.
They could…sell him. They could run away with him, and I may never see him again.
I couldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t try my hardest to save him. ”
“I understand what you’re saying, I do, but what I’m telling you is that it’s not the same for you. You can go up to this woman’s house, ask questions, sure. But Dani and I—we have to let the police do the work. We can’t be involved.”
“What are you talking about? I would never back down if it were your child.”
“That’s your privilege, Palmer. You know we’d move heaven and earth for you, we would.
But we have kids to think about, too. If someone sees a black man walking around their yard uninvited, they’re going to shoot me or call the police and they could shoot me.
I may be a Harvard-educated, sharply dressed black man, but I’m still a black man.
We want to help you, but not if it means doing anything that could take us away from our kids.
Having us with you would put you in more danger, too.
We have to think about so much more than you do, Palmer.
You’re a well-dressed white woman. You could walk in her house if you wanted and probably be fine.
I couldn’t walk up her driveway. Dani either. I’m sorry.”
“I hadn’t even thought,” I said, my throat dry. Dannika had been my best friend all my life. Ty was like a brother to me. I never thought about our differences in that way. I never thought about the things they didn’t talk about, the struggles I never had to see. “I’m sorry.”
He huffed. “You don’t have to be sorry. I don’t want you to be.
You didn’t do anything wrong. We want to help.
We do. It about kills me to say this to you now, but Dani and I have talked about it.
I’m just not comfortable with this. We can’t go driving up to houses at night.
We can’t be in neighborhoods where people don’t know I’m a lawyer.
If someone calls the cops on you, you may get a warning.
If someone calls the cops on us, we could end up in jail, if we don’t end up dead.
There are amazing cops out there, don’t get me wrong, but it’s still a risk.
It’s a much bigger risk for us than you.
Don’t you see that? We love you, but it’s a whole different world for us.
We don’t talk about these things because we don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but that doesn’t mean that every time we go to a restaurant with you, we don’t feel like we’re less scrutinized than when we’re alone.
Or when we go shopping, we don’t have to make sure we keep our hands out of our pockets.
I get what you want to do, Palmer. If it were my kid, I’d feel the same.
The difference is, if it were my kid, I wouldn’t have the option to act on those feelings.
I’d have to do what I’m told or else I’d be risking leaving my kids parentless.
We came with you because we feel like it’s our duty to help you.
We care about you. And about Gray. But this is where it ends for us as far as an investigation.
You can stay with us for as long as you need, but Dani has to realize we can’t help with this.
I see it too much at my firm. It’s too dangerous, and it’s always on my mind. ”
I swallowed. “I understand. I’m sorry to have put you in this position.”
He shook his head, meeting my eyes in the rearview, and I could tell he felt bad. Dani wouldn’t look back. We rode the whole way home in silence, while I called Officer Kessler to leave an update on her voicemail.
When we got home, Dani walked with me to the bedroom, wringing her hands together. She shut the door behind her as Ty went to bed.
“He means well,” she said, staring at me.
“Dani, you don’t have to explain. I know he does. Ty’s done so much for me. You both have. I’m sorry I put you in a dangerous position. I’d never do that on purpose. I’d never forgive myself if—”
She held up a hand, shaking her head. “There’s a lawyer at Ty’s firm, Owen. His husband is a cop. Ty got a call earlier that they were looking into me, just a head’s up from Owen’s husband, Jay.”
“Looking into you? Why?”
She released a heavy breath through her nose. “Because I was with you at the marina.”
“But…you had nothing to do with this.”
“I know that and you know that, but some people don’t need to see anything more than skin color to assume someone’s guilty.
Jay said they didn’t find anything, but he wanted us to be aware.
He’s a good cop. A good guy, and we consider Owen a friend.
It just really upset Ty, embarrassed him a bit, too.
He…he sees so much at work, and he’s always worried about us.
I just…I can’t go against what he says—not about this. ”
“I wouldn’t want you to.” It’s my turn to pull her into a hug. “I love you so much. Thank you for going with me today. Thank you for always being with me.”
When we broke apart, there were tears in her eyes. “We’re going to find him, right?”
I felt tears falling down my own cheeks, and when I spoke again, it was a vow. “I won’t give up until we do.”