Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
Palmer
Iwoke up in the hospital with Ben by my side. He had Gray in his arms. I tensed at the sight, though his smile grew wide when he met my eyes.
“You’re awake.”
“What’s going on?” I asked, still foggy from all that had happened.
“You’re going to be fine. You lost a lot of blood. Your shoulder wasn’t terrible, but you’d reopened your incision and bled quite a bit internally because of it. They said you took a pretty bad blow to your stomach.”
I scoffed, adjusting myself the best that I could. “A few, actually. Can I hold him?” I held my arms out, happiness swelling inside me.
“Yeah, of course.” He placed him in my arms.
I looked down at my son, his lips curling into a happy, contented smile. “Did they check him out?”
“He’s perfectly healthy,” Ben assured me. “He was well fed and taken care of. His diapers had been changed and everything.”
“Are…you okay?” I asked, remembering his wounds.
“I’m fine, just a few stitches and some antibiotics,” he said, gesturing toward his head and leg. “I’ll be on crutches for a while until the muscles heal.”
I nodded, suddenly in pain again, though it felt more emotional than physical. “Were you cheating on me…with her?”
His eyes widened, and he reached for my hand. “No, Palmer. No. I promised you I’d never cheat on you, and I meant it.”
“Then who was she?” I asked, holding Gray closer as tears formed in my eyes.
“We don’t have to do this now…”
“Yes, yes, we do.”
“She was my wife.”
“Before me?”
“Yes.”
“And what did she want with my son?”
“Kat wasn’t…she wasn’t well. We lost a baby in a really traumatic way. She was thirty-six weeks along when it happened. We already knew we were having a boy. We’d already picked out a name. She…she never really recovered.”
I bit down on my tongue. “That’s why you divorced?”
“Mostly, yes. We grew apart. I don’t…I don’t really know how couples survive losses like that. I wished we could’ve, but we just couldn’t seem to make it work.”
“And you…what? You stayed in touch?”
“No,” he said quickly. “No. I didn’t talk to her at all until after we announced our pregnancy. She reached out to me, and I felt I owed her kindness at the very least. When you experience something like that with someone, even when it pulls you apart, it also bonds you.”
“So, then, why did she take Gray?”
“She believed Gray was her child, I think. She wanted so badly to have a baby to replace the one we lost, but we could never have afforded an adoption, even during our best times.” He paused.
“I tried so hard to save him, Palmer. I know it doesn’t make what I did okay, but I never thought she was dangerous.
She wanted to meet him. To see my child.
I didn’t think there was any harm, but I was wrong.
I’d done so much wrong by her, I just wanted to do the right thing, and I nearly lost everything I cared about because of it. ”
“Were you taking a boat ride together? Why did you rent a boat?”
“I didn’t. From what the police have said, and what I can remember, she had some random guys from the marina rent it in my name.
She took my wallet, my ID, and my cap to make it happen.
The police tracked them down and they said she gave them one hundred dollars to get in the boat and abandon it in the ocean.
They hopped on a friend's boat and let it drift to shore.”
“She wanted me to believe you were dead,” I said softly.
He nodded.
“What about the flight?”
He chewed his lip, shaking his head. “Officer Kessler told me she booked a flight. They still think it was a diversion to get you to believe I’d left you, if you didn’t believe that I was dead. I honestly don’t know.” He scratched his forehead. “I wish I could’ve understood her better.”
“Did you…kill her? Is she gone?”
He nodded slowly. “I couldn’t let her hurt you.”
I sighed. “I don’t know if I can forgive you, Ben. This is…I could’ve lost Gray forever.”
His eyes fell to the floor. “I know. Believe me I do. I would’ve never forgiven myself. I still haven’t—”
I touched his hand, stopping him. “But thank you. For saving me.”
He smiled, and it was melancholy and pensive, the same as mine.
It was what I could offer him at the time.
Nothing more, nothing less. We were in this together, but it didn’t mean we’d stay together.
It didn’t mean I forgave him or that I trusted him anymore.
He’d hurt me in so many ways, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready to let him back into my life.
I’d learn. I’d figure it out.
But what I was learning more than anything was that letting anyone close to you was dangerous.
I stared down at my son, brushing my finger across his forehead. Maybe it’ll just be me and you against the world, little guy.
Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.