Chapter 9 #2
When she reached her peak, Cordell was humbled.
He was sure he’d never witnessed anything more miraculous in his life.
The passion and abandon with which she gave herself over to the pleasure was not something he could put into words.
She was enchanting, beautiful, and he felt honored to be the man to show her such carnal delights.
When she started to calm, he reluctantly removed his hand, clenching it as his side. He wanted to lie her back and finish the deviltry they had started but he had the ability to think clearly, whereas she was still floating on a haze of carnality.
“It is getting late. You should get some rest.”
Her eyes were heavily lidded, but at his words, they focused clearly. Her green eyes lit on him with something he did not want to comprehend. “You are going to leave me? Now?”
He clenched his jaw. “I am trying to be honorable, Aislynn. Do you really want to take things further than they have already gone and not be able to look me in the eye in the morning because of what it might mean?”
She paused. “What are you talking about?”
He didn’t want to be so direct but she was leaving him no other option. “We cannot take the risk of you becoming with child and if things progress to their natural point, that is a definite possibility.”
“Do you not know how to prevent such things?” she asked.
“Nothing is completely preventative,” he returned evenly.
“You know I should like nothing more than to stay and keep you up for the rest of the night but it is impossible. If something were to happen, I cannot be an honorable gentleman. I told you about my past. It is not something I care to duplicate and there is the threat that my father’s madness will pass along to me—to any offspring that I might have.
I vowed long ago not to become a father and I intend to remain true to that promise. ”
She looked at him steadily and then she nodded with apparent resignation. “You are right, of course. I understand completely. It is not as though I am eager to replicate my own childhood.”
Cordell was relieved, although he tried to keep his expression neutral.
“I am glad we can reach an accord on this matter.” He held a finger under her chin and offered her a light kiss.
“It is not as though we cannot enjoy each other’s company, as we have this evening, but I can never offer the full extent of my body. You understand that?”
She looked at him curiously. “Have you never been with a woman intimately before?”
He smiled slightly. “I have performed everything but the final act, if that is what you are asking. This is something I have always been highly adamant about, with all of my past lovers. As much as I might admire you and how much I might vow to protect you with everything that I have within me, that is the one thing I cannot ever give you.”
* * *
The next morning, Aislynn awoke early and sat in a chair by the fire, watching the dying embers fade into oblivion. There was a chill to the room that paled in comparison to the ice around her heart.
She had not been anticipating such a candid conversation with Cordell last night, nor his shocking admission that he had never truly lain with a woman before.
He was as much of an untried as she was and she couldn’t quite grasp that revelation.
Cordell was such a virile man with a strong passion and to see that wasted on the slight possibility that he might inherit his father’s madness was incomprehensible.
It was thrilling to think that their affair might progress further than it had ever gone before, but since he had never allowed it by now, she doubted that he would offer to change his mind.
If she was honest with herself, she ought to be thankful to Cordell for having such a sound mind.
She was being the nonsensical one, desiring a tete-a-tete with him when she had been adamant that her own heart and body should remain undisturbed.
She did not want to see herself working in a brothel like Spades, and yet, she discovered that when it came to being with Cordell, all of her firm ideals seemed to wither into dust. He had the power to disrupt her entire world and she was accepting of it with open arms—and legs.
She shook her head, determined to make her way to the theatre to dispel her mind of anything further than the prospect of a full auditorium.
She had long dreamed of a sold-out performance where she was the center of the entertainment.
She was well on her way to becoming the star she’d always yearned to be, to make something of herself.
She must remember that nothing else mattered but her adoring assemblage.
Gathering her sewing supplies from her valise, which had appeared in her chamber, Aislynn withdrew the small miniature of her mother and set it on the small bedside table near the bed.
She frowned as she stared into the face of the similar likeness, as if she were looking into a mirror image of herself a decade earlier.
But that was not why she kept it. It stayed close to her as a continual reminder of how far she had to fall if she did not succeed in winning over the hearts of London society.
The woman in the portrait had nothing but drink and anger in her life and Aislynn swore long ago that she would not find herself at the mercy of the same.
True, life was not always fair and presented insurmountable challenges but she did not intend for those days to get the best of her.
The deaths of her friends and fellow actresses were a constant flash of memory in her mind but she refused to be ruled by fear and to ensure that their deaths were not in vain.
She would honor the lives that were stolen from them by doing her utmost to live life on her own terms.
Setting her needle to the ruined sleeve of her dress, Aislynn quickly repaired the damage.
The next step would be to wash it thoroughly to rid herself of the sordid encounter of that night.
For now, she set it aside as she withdrew another one from her valise.
Hanging up the rest of her meager belongings in the empty wardrobe, she wrinkled her nose at the lack of adornments that were there.
Her dressing room was full of lovely gowns and costumes for numerous performances but those were the property of the theatre.
They did not belong to her. But, with any luck, she would soon have the money to buy whatever she wanted.
She would be able to walk into Bond Street and be fitted for any number of fashionable dresses and easily afford every single one.
Donning her simple, gray woolen dress, she wound her hair into a simple chignon and slipped her feet into her stiff boots and headed for the stairs.
On the way, the door to “The Wolf’s” room opened and one of his cohorts walked into the hall.
He spied her and offered her a stiff greeting.
“Good morning,” she murmured, hoping that might be the end of the conversation.
She wasn’t certain why the patient inside and his three loyal followers set her on edge.
Perhaps because she knew they were men not to be trusted.
“I was just coming to see you. The master would like a word, if you can spare the time.”
Aislynn reluctantly paused. She wanted to decline the offer but since it was worded so nicely, she found herself agreeing. “I did not realize he would be awake. It is probably best if he rests.”
“The Wolf is strong. There is not much that keeps him down for long.”
Aislynn could not dispute that because he had been shot in the chest and was still breathing.
However, a lot of his luck had to do with Cordell and his ability to perform such tedious surgery.
He was more skilled than many physicians she had encountered, yet he chose to use his talents in other ways because the demons of his past demanded it.
“Miss Sims is here.”
The dark-haired man in the bed cracked open a piercing blue orb. She had not noticed the color of his eyes before and she wasn’t certain why she did so now. Then again, perhaps it was because the shade was unexpected, as he had been grimacing in pain each time they had spoken.
“I understand I have you to thank for the way my head feels.”
She lifted a brow. “Pardon?”
He looked at the three men in the room who had not left his side since he’d been convalescing at Cordell’s house, but now he barked an order. “Leave us.”
Aislynn frowned as the entourage departed. “That did not seem very nice. They have all been greatly concerned over you.”
“They will get over it.” He didn’t appear chastised in the least. He moved to adjust his position on the bed. The coverlet pooled at his waist, leaving his upper chest bare except for a strip of white linen around the midsection.
She crossed her arms, wanting to get this meeting over with as soon as possible. “What can I do for you, Mr. Wolf?”
“It’s just The Wolf,” he countered evenly, and then added, “I wanted to say that I despise laudanum. It is vile and turns the best men into blathering idiots. However, you somehow managed the impossible by coercing me to drink it. How?”
She tilted her head to the side. “You do not remember what I said?” He shook his head. “And your men did not relay the information?”
He snorted. “If they had, do you think I would be asking you?”
“Very well,” she said in the same tone he was using with her. “I said I would suck your cock if you drank it.”
She wasn’t sure what his response would be but the rich chuckle that came from his throat was unexpected. “How very inventive of you to suggest such a thing, and how wonderful of me to accept.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I hope you do not expect me to drop to my knees now. I spoke out in the moment because I do not like to see anyone suffer.”
He offered a slight chuckle. “Should I wish for such a delight, rest assured I would not be able to function to my full extent because of my injuries.” His eyes flashed in a predatory manner.
“Given enough recovery time I would be inclined to demand payment, however since it seems I am the one currently indebted to you and Mr. Steele, I am in unfamiliar territory. I wish to offer you some information regarding the death of Miss Avery Flynn.”
Aislynn stilled, her blood abruptly turning to ice in her veins. “The actress who was murdered in Whitechapel?”
“The very same,” he concurred.
“I was not aware you were so familiar with the victim.”
“I knew her only in passing but word travels quickly within the circles of London’s underground. Information is available everywhere so long as you are willing to pay the price for it.”
“And you are?” she countered with a slight lift of her brow. “Why should you be so benevolent?”
He shrugged one shoulder slightly. “As I said, I owe you and Mr. Steele both a debt and since I do not like to have any such concern lingering for long, I hope that this information might be of some use to your investigation to catch the killer.”
“I am grateful for anything you can say that might help, of course. Two of my friends were murdered by this man.”
“I believe you were also the subject of a narrow attack.” Her face must have shown her surprise because he added, “Whether I am currently an invalid or not, I am well informed, Miss Sims. Never forget that.”
She wasn’t sure whether to take that as a promise or a threat. She decided to take it as both. “You can be assured I will not, Wolf.”
As if staying true to his title, his mouth curved upward in a wolfish grin. “You are a quick study, Miss Sims. I have no doubt that, combined with your extraordinary talent on the stage, you shall set all of London on its knees to beg for your favors.”
Aislynn could feel her cheeks heat slightly at his coarse statement but she did not rebuke him for it. “I do appreciate your candor, as well as your faith in me, good sir,” she drawled, sarcasm coating her words. “But if you might offer what you have promised?”
“I appreciate a woman who knows what she wants and is not afraid to grasp it.” He sat up straighter in the bed. “I also hope that you will heed my warning when I say that Mr. Steele is not as innocent as he claims to be. You are aware of his father’s history?”
She rolled her eyes. “If you wish to convey that his father was responsible for some terrible things, I can assure you he has already divulged that information to me.”
“Indeed. But did Mr. Steele tell you that he also spent time in a private asylum after his mother’s violent murder?
” She could feel her eyes widen. “I can see he omitted that part. In that regard, I am certain he failed to mention another slight against his character, that the reason he chooses to set himself apart from others and live in solitude is not because he is afraid he will act upon those maddening urges, but that he might do so again.”
A shiver slowly traveled up Aislynn’s spine. “What are you talking about?”
He reclined against the pillows against his back.
“If you want the details, I would ask Mary Spade to provide that. She is a direct result of his madness. See if she will give you the truth you are asking for.” He lowered his voice.
“What I am giving you is merely a caution, Miss Sims. Do not allow yourself to be drawn into Mr. Steele’s dangerous persuasion.
I cannot prove that he is the murderer that you are searching for, I can only warn you to keep your distance because I can also not prove he is not that man. ”