Chapter 5
Before
“You been checking me out,” Jason says, taking a step forward.
And then another.
Until I’m backed up against Nate’s truck and he’s close enough that our shoes are touching. He still smells like grass and sweat from football practice, but I don’t even care, because he’s accusing me of checking him out, and he doesn’t seem offended in the least.
“I— I wasn’t—”
He puts his hand against the truck beside my head, and I feel the distinct feeling of terror that my brother could walk out at any moment and catch me in this position with one of his players.
The captain of the team.
He leans in closer, until his lips brush my ear, his breath sending goosebumps scattering across my body. “You want this dick?”
“I—”
I don’t know what to say. I’m not even sure this is really happening. My brain feels floaty, trying to wake up from whatever dream I’ve stumbled into and bring me back to reality.
Jason must be able to tell it’s not a no, because he doesn’t pause at my hesitation.
His body presses against mine, pinning me against the car. He’s touching me everywhere, from head to toe, and I can feel his hard length pressing into me. “Meet me here, after dark. And don’t tell nobody.”
The only thing I can do is nod, and that’s enough for him. He pulls away and heads back toward the gym entrance, leaving me trembling against Nate’s truck.
Did that seriously just happen?
Now
That last time I blew off Mike must have done something.
I thought it came off okay, that Ryan and I had other plans. But clearly, I was wrong, and now, Mike has decided he’s done being the nice roommate he was pretending to be, and to carry on with the lifestyle I was warned about.
It started with a party.
I came home one night, same as always, after my shift at a campus coffee shop I work at a few times a week for extra cash, and instead of walking into my quiet home, where I planned to finish the rest of my homework and go to bed early, I walked into something straight out of a movie.
I mean it.
I didn’t know shit like this actually happened in real life.
I’ve been to a few parties at Rosehill University, after Ryan wore me down.
I went, and I had a terrible time hanging out in dorms full of people I don’t know.
But it was mostly underclassmen. A few people drinking wine coolers and TikTok songs loud enough that the speakers were getting that buzzy sound. Nothing crazy.
This is crazy.
There are bodies everywhere. People making out on the stairs. And where is that girl’s shirt? I think that might be Mike’s friend, the one with the pink hair, standing on our coffee table, singing bad karaoke in a bra the same color as her hair.
What the hell.
I find Mike with a girl I don’t recognize.
She’s tall, taller than him in high heels, but neither of them seems to mind. He’s leaning against the wall with a hand by her head, and I can tell by their body language that she’s liking whatever he’s saying.
I’m so angry that I don’t even have it in me to wish I were in her place right now.
I cross the room on a mission, bumping into strangers holding cups of something, spilling onto the carpet. I don’t stop until I’m right beside him, grabbing his arm and spinning him away from her.
He goes willingly, his eyes lighting up when he sees my face. “Roomie!”
Is this dude serious right now?
Clearly not. He smells like liquor, and even if he didn’t, I can tell by that smile, dopier than usual, and the way he’s swaying to the left that he’s already three sheets to the wind.
At seven o’clock.
“Can I talk to you alone?” I ask, keeping my voice steady, even though I’m pissed.
He sighs with his entire body, looking back at the girl with that pout before turning back to me. “I guess so.”
The kitchen isn’t empty either. Why am I not surprised?
The four men surrounding the counter, mixing some sort of alcoholic concoction in a bowl, look up when we come in, but don’t pay us any mind. I carry on like they’re not there.
“What the hell is going on?” I ask, letting some of my anger seep through now that we’re mostly alone. It only escalates more when all I get in response is a shrug.
“Party, duh.”
“Are you seriously—”
My rant doesn’t even take off, because next thing I know, Mike is floating over to the guys at the counter, peering down into their mixture. “Mind if I try some of that?”
“At your own risk.”
They all laugh, and he does too, scooping up some with a plastic cup, while I stare at him in disbelief. Mike was a cool guy. The complete opposite of my old roommate. Even what Ryan said about him. I told him he was wrong. He seemed to be a perfectly well-adjusted person.
Now, I’m realizing, I couldn’t have been more wrong about him.
But that’s me, isn’t it? Always wrong about people.
“Mike,” I say, loud enough that it echoes through the kitchen, getting the attention of everyone, but I don’t even care right now. “I was talking to you.”
He laughs again, but it’s not the laugh that I liked. It’s different, and it’s directed at me.
“Dude, don’t you know who I am?”
I do now.
Michael Pierce.
Goes by Mike.
Drinks anything in sight. Does enough recreational drugs to kill a small mammal. Has enough sex in one week for all of Rosehill.
I don’t know what that first week was, but I dream of the days when my biggest problem was Mike being too friendly. These days, he doesn’t seem to notice me at all unless he’s torturing me.
At least it’s Monday.
After a weekend of the full extent of Mike, I’m looking forward to a quiet night in. I stopped by Nate’s and picked up a few of my favorite movies. I’ve got one in my laptop ready to hit play and my bowl of popcorn in my lap when I hear the front door.
That’s a little weird, considering Mike went to work earlier today, and he never gets home until morning when he has a shift.
I wait a second, listening for anything off, my body on high alert even though I know he can’t get me.
That Jason was arrested.
It doesn’t matter, though. There will never be a day that I don’t lock up at any sign of danger.
I’m almost happy to hear the sound of Mike laughing.
Just this once.
But that doesn’t last long when I realize he’s not alone. Along with his too-loud laugh, there’s another one with him, feminine, giggly. He shushes her loudly, and I can hear everything as clearly as if I were outside the door, because I’ve left the door open a crack.
Shit.
“Shh, you’ll wake up my roommate,” he tells her, but she giggles some more.
“Maybe I want to, is he cute?”
The sound of something hitting the wall right outside my door. “Should you be thinking about other guys right now?” His voice sounds different. Darker in a way that sends a chill down my spine.
My ears strain to hear the rest of their conversation, even though I know it’s wrong. What am I doing? Eavesdropping on my roommate.
But some part of me wants to know the answer to her question.
“I wasn’t going to kick you out. Maybe you could watch.”
He laughs out loud that time, and then it cuts off, muffled, like he put a hand over his mouth. But when he recovers from whatever was so funny, he must be over the conversation. “Enough about my roommate. Are you gonna suck my dick or not?”
That gets my heart pounding for a different reason.
Big hands in my hair.
My knees in the grass.
Darkness.
I can’t breathe.
There’s a sound, his head hitting the wall I think, and an actual moan. Right out there. She has her mouth on him, and he’s moaning, and I’m sitting here like a creep, listening.
Every ounce of panic leaves my body when he does it again, replaced by something I haven’t let myself feel in a long time.
Mike is loud.
Enthusiastic.
For someone who was worried about waking me up five minutes ago, he seems unbothered by the prospect now.
Maybe he wants to, my brain supplies.
What would Mike do if I went out there right now? If I caught him, backed up against the wall, pants around his ankles, his cock hard and—
In a girl’s mouth.
Right.
“Stop, stop,” he says, through deep breaths. “Won’t be able to fuck you if you make me come right now.”
“Fuck me right here.”
“I can’t, you know that. What would Mr. Perfect say if he caught us fucking in the hallway?” The girl giggles again, and she’s really starting to get on my nerves.
Mr. Perfect? Is that supposed to be me?
I look down at my cock straining against my sweatpants, all from the sound of Mike getting a blow job from a random girl outside my door, and it all comes rushing back.
Jason.
Pain.
Disgust and hate and everything else that comes with this need inside me that I can’t push down.
The hall is empty again, I can tell. It’s confirmed by the sound of Mike’s door shutting. I don’t listen for anything else. I don’t touch myself. I pick up my earbuds and turn the movie all the way up, and hope that these feelings go away.
They don’t.
“Thanks for letting me stay over,” I say, throwing my duffel down on the spare bed in Ryan’s room. His assigned roommate was a no-show, so he’s got the room all to himself. If only the RA weren’t so serious about the rules.
When I asked to switch a week into school, it was a very clear no, leading me to the situation I’m in now.
I drop onto the bed, burying my face in my hands. “I can’t do it anymore. He’s got a new girl over every night. Last night, it was two! At the same time!” I look up at him to punctuate my point, that I’m losing it.
He must see that because he winces in sympathy. “Jeez, dude. I thought things were alright. That he wasn’t that bad?”
“So did I! But I was clearly wrong. And now, I’m living with some kind of—”
“Some kind of what?” He asks, sitting down on his bed across from me. I lay back, staring up at the ceiling, questioning every choice that led me to this moment. I even miss my creepy old roommate at this point.
At least the dude didn’t bring home random girls every night and make me listen to him fuck them, wishing I—
No.
“I don’t know how long I can keep staying there. This was supposed to be better, and now, I’m right back where I started.”
“Offer still stands,” he reminds me, the way he always does, every time we talk about this, that we could get a place together.
And this time, I actually consider it. Because at this rate, if I don’t find a solution soon, I’m gonna end up back home at Nate’s house, staying in my childhood bedroom, and commuting to school.
This was supposed to be different.
“I’ll think about it.”