Chapter 9 #2
When it was over, I wanted to cry. I hated his expression, because I’d caused that. When he told me it helped, that it made him better, it pulled me out of my funk. Why? Because I had done it for him, not me. If I was to be his Dominant, I had to realize that things I might not like would help him.
And, as much as I hate to admit it, they could help me too.
I was getting used to the idea of being his Dominant, of guiding him, helping him to make good decisions. It wasn’t a role I ever expected to have, especially with Mason, but it was starting to become a role I enjoyed.
“Kip?”
“What’s up, bud?”
“You asked what was on my mind and since you spanked me so good, I suppose I should tell you.”
Thank goodness. “Go on.”
“I’m trying to understand what we are. I mean, I know I’m a submissive, and I get that you’re a more dominant type, but we’ve never pictured each other in those roles, and it’s messing with my head. I mean, what if you decide you can’t do this? That spanking? It could happen more than you expect.”
“No, I don’t think it will.”
“Oh? Why not?”
I chuckled. “Because I’ve been researching punishments, and I’m going to find the one I think is perfect for you. Right now I’m leaning toward quiet time, because you can’t keep your mouth shut, but there might be one that’s better.”
“Just remember, if I keep my mouth shut, you don’t get any sucking.”
I grinned. “You have another hole that I can use.” Then I realized what I’d said. “I mean, if it’s something you might be interested in.”
His face flushed. “I’ve… thought about it a bit,” he admitted.
“And recently, a lot more. We’d have to wear a condom, unless you want us to have a baby.
Omega wolves are always fertile, at least until the first pup is born.
Then we have frequent regular cycles during which time we can become pregnant again. Think like once a month.”
“So lay in a supply of XL condoms. Got it.”
“Kip?”
“Yeah?”
“I’d love for you to fuck me, but we need to talk.”
I had figured as much. “Okay, what’s on your mind?”
“Before we start, could I have some more of that lotion? You got a heavy hand.”
“Sure. I’ll rub, you’ll talk.” I grabbed the lotion, squeezed a bit onto my fingers, then began stroking them over his silky skin.
“That feels so nice,” Mason said.
“Now, talk.”
He sighed. “Your friendship has always meant a lot to me. I mean, you were the only one who treated me like Mason, not ‘the Omega’. And I get it, at least I think so. To a wolf, an Omega is a big deal. But to you, I was just myself.”
“Stop right there,” I interrupted. “You have never in your life been ‘just’ anything to me. For a while I was stressing over what this meant. Me, a straight guy, kissing you? Letting you suck my dick? Touching yours? But then I thought about it, and I realized all those times I’d said, ‘if you were a girl’?
They were my way of trying to convince myself I wasn’t interested in you in any sexual way, but I can’t admit that and be honest. I’ve always found you attractive, though I didn’t know what it meant.
You have an ass twice as sexy as any girl I know.
You have lips that are so freaking kissable.
And your body is lean, with gentle curves, and yet still has a strength to it. ”
“So you see me as a girl?” he growled.
Damn, my boy was a grouch all right.
“I never said that.” I glared at him. “And I don’t appreciate you putting words in my mouth.
What I’m saying is you’ve always been attractive, and now I understand the reasons.
It isn’t because I think of you as a woman or because of pheromones or anything like that.
It’s you, Mase. You’re amazing and beautiful and I will freely admit it.
I’m sorry it took me so long to understand what it meant. ”
“You… think I’m sexy?”
It was time to admit the truth.
“I do. So fucking sexy. Seeing you bent over, taking those spankings, watching as your ass rippled? I wanted nothing more than to sink inside of you, to pound you, to shoot a load into your guts. I want to hold you, caress your body, kiss you. I want you to suck me until I shoot. And I want….”
He turned and looked at me over his shoulder. “What?”
“I want to try sucking you.”
His eyes widened. “No.”
Shock surged through me. “What? Why not?”
“You’re a Dominant. You don’t have to do anything. It’s my job—my privilege—to service you.”
I really didn’t know much about wolves and their culture, and I hadn’t liked it when I’d learned about it. Now?
I fucking loathed it.
“You listen to me, you little shit. If you talk with anyone I’ve ever been with, they’ll tell you I wasn’t a selfish lover.
In fact, them having an orgasm was more important to me than if I had one.
I won’t ever make you do something, then expect you to sneak off to the bathroom to get your release.
If I’m your Dominant, then it’s up to me to ensure you’re taken care of.
I will be responsible for your orgasm—assuming I allow you to have one. ”
His eyes widened again. “What?”
I flashed him a smug smile. “Yup, not letting you come was one of the punishments I read about.” I pulled him to me. “This is a ‘we’ relationship, Mase. Together. There is no me or you, it’s all about us.”
“And you swear you won’t leave me?”
It didn’t surprise me at all he was still stuck on that. “Nope, not going anywhere. I’m not sure how I can make you believe me, but I’m in this for the long haul.” I grinned. “And not just because you have perfect cocksucker lips.”
He blinked several times, then smacked me in the arm. “You’re an asshole.”
“I am, but I’m the asshole you’re stuck with. Whether it’s me being bisexual, me suddenly going gay, or simply because I want you, we’re together.”
He sighed and sagged into my arms. “I love you, Kip.”
And I knew that. I think I’d always known that. But there was still one thing I knew that he didn’t.
“I love you too, you dick.”
He grinned and kissed my chin.
I think we just made progress in our relationship.