Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Kip
That night I lay beside Mason, watching him sleep.
He sighed, then curled up a bit. Beautiful wasn’t a word I’d normally use to describe a man, but fuck, he totally was.
And then I realized someplace inside me had noticed that when we were growing up.
How could I not? The way his hair trailed behind him as he ran during the winter when it tumbled to the middle of his back.
How he’d looked in the summer when he slashed it into a harsh buzz cut and his whole face came into focus.
Over the years he’d played with some pretty wild styles, and every time I’d thought he couldn’t look more incredible.
Then he’d do a radically different cut and somehow managed to look even more stunning.
And now he was by my side, clinging to me.
I’d committed the best sexual experience of my life to memory.
I remembered the shape of his mouth when I pressed into his body, his hands around my neck.
The cries that escaped him with every thrust, the love and trust that shone on his face.
No one had ever made me feel like Mase did, and for the first time I regretted the fact I hadn’t recognized him for the gorgeous man he was.
I will never forget to do that again.
I wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him to me. He sighed and snuggled in, his face buried in my neck, warming the skin there. I tightened my grip, insanely happy to be feeling his heartbeat against my chest.
My only regret? Telling him to change back from his wolf form. I’d only gotten a brief look.
There’ll be other times.
At some point, I finally fell asleep, and later I slipped from deep velvet slumber into the throes of the most awful nightmares, and they all ended the same way—Mason being torn from my grasp and dragged into a fiery pit, screaming my name as I did my best to reach him.
I gaped in horror as it happened again and again, and every fucking time, it was futile.
Mason was gone and all I could do was watch.
I jolted awake, then reached out, checking he was still here in bed with me.
“You okay? he asked, his voice sluggish with sleep yet laced with concern.
I expelled a breath, hoping to calm my racing heart. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Need a blow job?” he teased.
Who in their right mind would turn down being sucked off?
The answer was me in that moment, the fragments of the nightmare still clinging to me. “Nah, gonna try to sleep a bit more.”
He jerked up and flicked on the light, then sat there staring at me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Weird dream.” I smirked at him. “What makes you think something is wrong?”
He rolled his eyes. “You turning down being blown. I figure either the world is ending or you’re sick.”
I lay back and tugged him down with me, holding his head to my chest. He struggled for like five seconds, then whimpered and allowed me to hold him.
“I’m not sick,” I explained. “It was just a dream that freaked me out, that’s all.”
“Tell me about it.” His voice was low and coaxing.
I didn’t want to. He didn’t need to know the horrors that filled my subconscious.
“And don’t prevaricate,” he added.
“Ooh, look at you with the big words.” I tightened my grip and sighed. “I dreamed someone took you from me and I couldn’t save you.”
He kissed my chest. “That’s crazy talk. You’ve already saved me.
” He pulled back and looked me in the eyes.
“I never thought I’d be allowed to choose my own Dominant.
I figured I would be stuck with whoever they decided on and that would be it.
I wish… I wish I’d submitted to you before. Even if you didn’t know it.”
Well, I might not have realized, but my parents seem to have known it. They’d reminded me I’d always been the one to lead. And it thrilled me when Mason followed.
Was I aware, even then, that I was his Dominant?
“I think I always felt that I was meant to direct you,” I admitted. “Nudge you in a direction, like when you wanted to join the track team. You said it wouldn’t be a good idea, but I could tell how much you wanted it, so I pushed you to try. And what happened?”
He sighed. “I excelled, just like you said I would.”
I grinned. “Come on, say it. You know I love it when you do.” He put a hand against my chest and pushed, but I held him in a tight embrace. “Say it.”
Another eye roll. “Fine. You were right. You’re always right, and I’m always wrong. Happy now?”
I was, so very fucking happy. I leaned in and kissed him, long, slow, and lingering. When I pulled away I peered into his eyes.
“I love you, you know.”
And judging by his smile, he knew.
Mason
“I love you, you know.”
As long as I lived, I would never get tired of hearing him say those words to me.
Although I didn’t have the power to see the future, I could imagine.
If I’d gone with Jerome, I would’ve been miserable.
I’d have cried myself to sleep most nights, alone and huddled in the dark, wishing Kip was near because he would chase the fear away.
Because he always has, hasn’t he?
No matter how deep into my head I got, he’d always found a way to pull me out.
If he couldn’t make me smile, he’d sit there, an arm wrapped around my neck, being sullen with me.
Sometimes he’d leave me sitting and run down the street, only to return a few moments later with two Choco Twister ice cream bars.
He’d hand me one, and we’d sit there, not speaking, until it was gone.
Then he’d make me tell him what was bothering me.
I always caved.
I could hold out against most people, at least for a while, but against Kip?
He broke through my defenses—because, uh, hello?
Ice cream—and reminded me that no matter what, I was never alone.
He would always have my back. And he did.
He would cancel dates if I was upset. He gave up chances to get laid because he thought I needed him more.
And somehow, he was never wrong. I couldn’t understand how he knew me so well.
How he seemed to realize I needed someone.
No—how I needed him to hold me together.
Growing up was so hard. I kept getting told about how important Omegas were, but I’d never felt like that.
Kip had had no idea what I was, and yet he was the only one who made me feel as though I mattered.
He’d been the one who stood up for me, who made me feel as though I could fight back.
And boy, I did. I argued, determined that no one would ever put me down again.
And while that boost to my self-confidence generally lasted for a short time until my natural submissiveness kicked in, they were glorious hours where I could make my own choices.
Where I could say no. Where there was a future out there that was my choice, where I could determine my own path.
It never lasted long, but those fleeting moments meant everything to me.
Somehow I never realized what Kip had been doing for me our whole lives. He was right. He had always been my Dominant, even if we hadn’t used those words.
“Lost in thought?” Kip’s voice cut through my haze.
“I tried to tell myself I wasn’t attracted to you. I even believed it too, for the longest time. But now I realize what was going on in my subconscious. If I’d let slip, even a little, that I needed you and that I was your submissive, you’d have freaked out and run for the hills. I’m… sorry.”
He bundled me into his arms. “Never apologize for who you are. I won’t deny that it would have made me wonder or worry, but not about you being a sub. More that I needed to be there to help you through that time. You’ve always been the most important person in my life, and now I understand why.”
I truly believed he did. “Can we sleep a little more?” I asked. “I was having the most amazing dream.” My cheeks were suddenly hot. “You were behind me, thrusting into my ass, making me cry out your name, and I kinda wanna get back to that.”
He chuckled and dragged me under the blanket. “What do you say we set about making that a reality?”
I was down for that. But….
“I think maybe we both need some sleep,” I said with reluctance. “Maybe after we wake up, we can see about christening every surface in the house.” I grinned. “I’m especially eyeing that counter in the kitchen. It looks to be about the right height.”
He laughed and stuck his face in my neck. “I will never stop loving you,” he said, his voice husky. “You make me smile.”
We rolled around a bit, and yeah, certain body parts kept sliding over each other.
We both got hard, but I hadn’t lied. Our relationship wasn’t based on sex alone.
We were in the process of bonding, of becoming comfortable with each other.
My submission to him was growing deeper, layered, so we both knew our roles.
Was I disappointed in being his submissive?
I’d thought for a long time that I would be hurt or angry to give someone that much control over my life, but Kip?
It was so natural, I didn’t even question it anymore.
If I had to belong to someone who’d guide me, I was grateful it was Kip, because he’d never let me down.
And I would always do my best to make him proud of me.
Kip
Never in my life had I pictured being in love with another dude, but like he’d done for so many years, Mase challenged me.
I’d grown used to having him sitting beside me on the couch, his head on my chest as I slid an arm over his shoulders while we watched television.
Or him in the kitchen, humming a tune, as he made dinner for us.
Or his squawk of indignation when I told him to go sit in the big clawfoot tub and relax while I did the dishes.
I was settled in my skin for the first time in forever. I wasn’t looking to get laid, or trying to make others happy.
Everything I did was to see Mase smile.
“You’ve got a scowly face,” Mase said, tracing a finger over my cheeks and lips.
“Sorry. I’m thinking about you, this town, my life, and how it’s so very different from what I’d expected it to be.”
His eyes went wide. “Are you… unhappy?” That tremor in his voice spoke volumes.
I smiled at him and gave him a quick reassuring kiss.
“No, not in the least. I know I went to school to become an architect, but suddenly that seems like a dream, and every morning I find you in my arms, I wake to the reality. I used to think I’d get up, drink a few gallons of coffee, then slap on my suit and hardhat and head off to my office or the job site.
Now, I’m clearing away dead trees, mulching up old shrubs, and laying out sod.
It’s… different from what I thought I’d be doing. ”
“I’m sorry.” His voice cracked.
“Oh, hush up. I love my life, because you’re in it,” I assured him. “I would one day like to design a building, maybe one we’ll live in, but it’s no longer the focus of my life.” I brought our heads together, so we were sharing air. “That would be you.”
“Because I’m your submissive?” he asked.
I could hear the need and pain in his voice.
He was looking for something to hold onto, and I had to wonder again how bad it had been for him growing up.
People never seemed to realize how childhood trauma carried over into adulthood.
Being told constantly he was an Omega, that he was expected to serve, that his life would never be his own?
That had to have left lasting scars.
“Yes, you’re my submissive and I’m your Dominant.
We’ve already agreed on that,” I affirmed.
“But you’re also the one who keeps me grounded.
My life revolves around you now, not chasing something nebulous.
I see you, and I know without question that my new dream?
It’s there, real and alive, hidden behind your eyes. ”
Tears glistened as they stuttered down his face. My boy was emotional in ways I’d never realized until I’d agreed to be his Dominant.
“What’s wrong?” I pulled him to me.
“I… I don’t know.” He sobbed into my chest. “I feel like I’ve ruined your life by getting it tangled up in mine and that as soon as you realize it, you’re going to hate me.”
I tugged him until his slender body covered mine, then kissed him, hard and claiming.
“I could never hate you,” I assured him. “Can I tell you something?”
He nodded, fat tears still rolling down his cheeks.
“I realized something tonight. Without you, my life has no real meaning. It’s always been you that’s kept me moving forward. You might be submissive, but you’re still so goddamn strong. In many ways, you’re even stronger than me.”
He snorted, and a bubble of snot popped from his nose. “Liar.”
“It’s true,” I protested, grabbing a tissue and wiping his nose.
“I would never have made it in this town without you by my side. You were the first one to accept me as a friend, and you’ve stayed by my side ever since.
All the others? They drifted off into new friend groups that I wasn’t welcome in. ”
We were quiet for several minutes, then Mason chuckled. “Do you remember when you decided we should go spelunking?”
“Oh, shit. Don’t remind me.”
“We went to the caves down by the lake, and you led the way. We were making pretty good time, until the tide came in.”
I’d tried so hard to forget that. We’d gotten about halfway into the caves when the water started to rise.
Mason, always the smart one, said we should go back, but I told him we’d never get to the entrance, and that it would be faster to go out the other side.
Of course, I hadn’t realized the tunnels were too small for me to fit through.
I told Mason to go, to get away, but he called me stupid and did his best to help me break through the tiny opening.
We didn’t make it, but we did discover that the water only came up to our knees.
Suffice it to say, when my parents found out I was grounded for two weeks.
Funny that they allowed Mason to come visit me during that time.
I guess they really did see something between us.
“Yeah, want me to list some of your great oopsies?”
He laughed. “I think I’d rather talk about more of yours.”
And because it was what he wanted, that was what we did. As we talked, his frown disappeared, to be replaced by a brilliant smile that spoke to my heart.