Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Kip
I stood at the stove, fuming. Allison fucking made Mase cry and, worst of all, she’d made him doubt his place in my life.
This is my fault, the whole thing.
Allison had moved away during our junior year. We’d never really broken up, just went our own ways. I hadn’t given her a thought since we said goodbye.
When she came to the table, I was shocked.
She hated the town, and I couldn’t imagine her being back, but there she was, all smiles when she saw me.
She asked for a hug, and like an idiot I figured it couldn’t hurt anything.
I wasn’t prepared when she grabbed my face and pulled me down, pasting her lips to mine, or when she shoved her tongue in my throat.
Then I heard Mason’s sob and his retreating footsteps. Before I could do anything, Jolene locked her fingers around Allison’s arm and yanked her away.
“Girl, are you insane? Kip is with someone.”
She batted her eyes. “You are?”
“Yes, I am. I’m with Mason.”
Her lip curled up. “You’re with him? Since when are you a fa—gay?”
I was grateful she’d cut off the slur because I would’ve done something very uncool in the middle of the diner.
“I’m bisexual,” I informed her.
Her eyes lit up. “Ooh, is your bed big enough for three?”
Like a goddamn idiot, I missed the cue. “What do you mean?”
“I’m not at all into Mason, but it would be sexy as hell to watch the two of you getting it on. Then, once he has you all hot and bothered, we could—”
Jolene’s eyes flashed. “Shut up!” she shouted, drawing curious looks from other patrons. “That’s disgusting.”
Allison rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. Kip and I used to do a lot worse things.” Her eyes gleamed. “A lot worse. Remember the night we went home with Aaron and you jacked off while he—”
“Get out,” Jolene snapped. “I cannot believe how nasty you are. He’s with someone, and you’re trying to get between them? How awful can you be?”
“But Kip never—”
“I do now,” I assured her. “Mason is my everything. I love him and now I have to go find him because he’s hurt by what you did.”
Her eyes widened. “I didn’t mean—”
“You did, and you know it.” I glared at her. “Girl, what we had was nearly eight years ago. You can’t expect to waltz in here and simply pick up where we left off. Times change. People change.” I set my jaw. “Except you, apparently.”
To her credit she seemed embarrassed. “I didn’t know,” she said weakly. “I’m sorry.”
“If you’re sorry, in the future stay away from us. If you’re not really sorry, in the future stay away from us,” I growled.
She went to the counter, grabbed her backpack, and hurried out the door.
“Well?” Jolene snapped, her arms folded.
“Well what?” I asked.
“Go after him!”
Duh.
My brain was too rattled to be of any logical use. “You’re right. Thank you. Sorry about all of this.”
She put her hand on my arm. “In school I wasn’t really all that nice to Mason.
I don’t think most of us were. We didn’t actively bully him, but I didn’t try to be his friend either.
They told us he was an Omega and we needed to take care of him, but we didn’t.
I will always feel guilty over that. When I heard the two of you were together, I thought it might go a long way to making up for the shitty people we’d been. So thank you for being there for him.”
I said my goodbyes and got the hell out of there.
I had a mate to reassure.
All the way home, my mind raced. My parents were on me to talk to Mase about my secrets, but this was why I hadn’t done it yet.
We weren’t in a spot where there was enough trust between us for me to drop anything like this on him.
We needed to get comfortable with each other, to find a place where we could discuss anything.
This whole fucked up episode told me we hadn’t gotten there yet.
If anything, it probably set us back.
I stood at the stove making macaroni and cheese.
I wasn’t the wiz in the kitchen that Mase was, but I could manage a few staples.
I scrolled through my phone looking for tips on how to be a better Dominant, because I was floundering here.
I wanted to do right by Mase, but I didn’t know what he needed from me.
As the pasta boiled, I read a couple of articles about praise and punishments.
I was interested in the praise, hoping it would build his self-esteem.
I read quickly, then saved it to my reading list. Afterward, I finished making the macaroni and cheese, then sprinkled crumbled bacon bits over the top because I knew Mase loved it that way.
I made two bowls, then grabbed a couple of forks and took it all upstairs to him.
When I opened the door he was quiet, but I could tell he wasn’t asleep.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I know I’m a bad submissive, but—”
“Who said you were bad?” I kept my voice low and even.
He turned and I could see how red his eyes were. “I didn’t trust you.”
“Lemme tell you something, but you have to listen while we eat, because I made some awesome fucking mac and cheese, and I don’t want it to go to waste. Agreed?”
He sniffed and his stomach growled again.
Goddamn you, Allison.
I used to love the memories of things I did when I was a teen, but now? They disgusted me, and I had to wonder if I’d hurt anyone else with my bullshit posturing.
Mase took the bowl from my hand and nibbled on the pasta. “It’s good,” he said, his tone lifeless. I sat beside him and took a mouthful. Then I put my bowl down and faced him.
“You know, I think I understand now why my parents gave me all that rope when I was younger. They wanted me to learn the hard lessons, and today I think another one of them finally got through my thick head. I was shit to people. As long as I got what I wanted, I thought it was all good.”
“No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Mase insisted. “I shouldn’t have gone off on you. It’s not my place to question what you do.”
I sighed. “Look, baby….”
“I like it when you call me baby,” he admitted. “It makes me feel loved.”
“Because you are,” I assured him. “I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it as often as you need me to. There is no one else. Not now, not ever. I have no interest in having more than you in my life.”
“But Allison—”
“Was a mistake in my past that’s come back to haunt me. I told her to stay the fuck away from us.”
“You did?” Hope laced his voice.
“I did. I’m going to admit, Jolene did it first, because I was too shocked to speak. I mean, really? Who kisses someone they haven’t seen in years like that?”
“I was so hurt,” he admitted.
I stroked a hand gently over his hair and he put his bowl down and launched himself at me, choking back sobs.
“All I could see was our life turning to shit because of her. And it made me mad at myself, because you’re my Dominant so you’re entitled to do it.
That made me realize I was a shit submissive, and that hurt too.
I don’t want to be bad, Kip. I want to be a good person for you so you’ll never regret agreeing to be mine. ”
“Hey, look at me.”
He tilted his head up, caught my gaze, then dropped his.
“You lack something integral here if you want to be a good submissive,” I told him.
“What is it?” he asked. “I’ll do anything you want.”
“It’s not something I can want from you.—it’s what you’ll need for yourself. We need to bolster your self-esteem.”
“But I’m a submissive,” he said flatly.
“You are, I acknowledge that. But you’re my submissive.
No one, not even John, can tell you what to do anymore.
Only me, Mase. From this moment on, you listen to me.
If you’re not sure about something, you talk with me.
Ask me questions. Demand answers. There is nothing wrong with that.
Our lives are intertwined, and you have every right to know and understand when I say something.
And don’t blindly accept my word, because I might say it wrong or you could misunderstand me.
I’d rather you ask me, ensure you’re doing what I want, than assume and get upset or hurt. Do you understand?”
I could only hope my words got through to him.
Mason
My entire life I’d been told an Omega served everyone. That their Dominant would ensure they did what they were supposed to do. That if their Dominant wasn’t there, they would do what they think would make them happy.
I’d done none of those things.
“So you’re saying it’s okay to ask questions?”
Kip nodded. “Not only is it okay, it’s imperative.
Does your Dominant know best? Well, after today I think that’s up for scrutiny, don’t you?
” He took my hand in his. “I need you to know, I will always try to do what’s best for you.
But if you think I’m not, or if you think there’s a better way, you need to talk to me.
Will I agree with you? Maybe. I don’t know for sure.
I mean, I won’t let you do something that’ll end up with you being hurt or crying because you thought you failed me.
Failed us. And this time you didn’t. You acted like a totally normal person would.
” He cocked his head. “Can I tell you something?”
I nodded.
“I worry about you walking away from me, especially after today. You’re a submissive, but you’re also the one with the power in the relationship.
You grant me the gift of your submission, but you could also take it away, despite what your pack seems to think.
This is why we have to talk constantly. I need to understand what’s going on in your head, and you need to know my reasoning for what I do.
I am not perfect…” His lips twitched. “And you can stop snickering.”
“I’m not,” I promised, my tone earnest.
He sighed. “I was hoping that would make you laugh. When we were kids it was all so easy. The real world, responsibilities, all of it was years away from us, so we could go anywhere and do anything. Now? We have a house, we have a truck that needs maintenance, and I have a job that’s not able to pay me all at once because the town’s finances are for shit. ”
“Wait—you’re not getting paid everything they owe?” I tried to sit up, but Kip held me still. “What are we going to do?”
“What we’ve been doing,” he assured me. “We’re okay for the most part.”
“What do you mean for the most part?”
A sigh rolled out of him. “My parents cover spots in our budget when we’re short.”
“What?” I screamed. “And you’re only telling me this now?”
“I didn’t want you to worry.”
“Of course I’m worried,” he remonstrated. “I’ll find a job right away and—”
“No, you won’t.”
“How can you say no, especially when we’re getting money from your folks?”
That earned me another sigh. “Okay, first of all, my parents have plenty of money and they don’t mind giving us some.
When everything stabilizes, we’ll pay them back.
” He squared his shoulders. “Secondly, you have a job. You’re building a tea garden for our future.
If it works the way you want, you could always sell tea to make money, but for now, it needs you to tend it properly.
Thirdly, we aren’t that bad off. We owe my folks a few hundred dollars, that’s all.
And that was mostly because of truck repairs, which my dad has been teaching me.
” Kip squeezed my hand. “I swear to you, we are okay. Will we have to cut back sometimes? Yeah, probably, at least until the town can afford to pay me. John says he hopes it won’t be more than a few months, and because our parents live here, I want to stay close to them. ”
“But it isn’t right.” And what else am I missing?
“Nevertheless, it’s a decision I’ve made and I’m okay with it.
Do we need to discuss it? We certainly can, but for the most part, we’d be beating a dead horse.
If you have compelling reasons why I should take a different route, I’m happy to listen, of course, but in the end I have to make the hard choices for both of us. ”
“But you said—”
“I know what I said,” he assured me. “And I know some of it might go against something else, but there are some decisions I have to make, and I’ll do that to keep us both happy and healthy. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Kip.”
He narrowed his gaze. “No, don’t ‘yes, Kip’ me. Do you understand? I need to ensure you know why I’m doing what I am.”
“I do,” I replied. “It doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“You don’t,” he assured me. “But I hope you’ll trust me to lead us.”
Jerome’s face flashed in my mind. I could hear him telling me in no uncertain terms that after school I’d come back here and serve him and whoever he added to his harem. I’d accepted that because I was told it was my duty.
Kip wasn’t telling me to accept it, but he was asking for my trust. That proved he was far better than Jerome ever could be.
“I understand,” I said. “I do trust you. More than I’ve ever been able to trust anyone before.”
He smiled at me, then gave me a soft kiss. “I love you,” he said, his voice gentle.
“I love you too.” I picked up my bowl.
“It’s cold now. Let me heat it up.”
I pulled it away from him. “It’s fine,” I promised, because I didn’t mind cold food, and he’d made it for me, going so far as to crumble bacon over the top because he knew I loved it.
I made a choice right then and there. I would be a better submissive to Kip. I would tell him what had been on my mind for a while, asking him to help me sort it out. And then I would work on being a better person to everyone.
Oh, and I would never let this man get away from me.