25. River
CHAPTER 25
RIVER
I ’d spent a lot of time working with Joelle, discussing and dissecting my life experiences and the methods I’d taught myself to cope. The main one she’d focused on has been my selective mutism and why I felt that was the best way for me to handle the life I had been forced into. She suggested cognitive brain therapy and explained how learning new coping mechanisms would foster a healthier way of dealing with situations that would ordinarily make me shut down and take the shit that came my way.
Joelle said I wasn’t weak, that I’d just been in survival mode for so long it had become as easy as breathing. But now I have the opportunity to grow and heal, and I shouldn’t shy away from the good things I deserve. Whether I believed her or not was another thing, because my cynical mind found it difficult to understand that things could be good after surviving such a violent and depraved life.
Over the weeks, she’d instilled a glimmer of hope in me that I wasn’t totally broken or irreparable. Although I found her positivity hard to manage most of the time and have questioned more than once if she was as screwed up in the head as I was. Joelle was a relentless force of good, and even though I found it hard to admit, she had helped me find my voice again. I may only be able to string small sentences together when in the company of those I trust, but it was a start. And it’s helped Bane and I build a solid foundation to our growing relationship, rather than one that resembled a house of cards built on quicksand.
The hardest battle I’d chosen was my inability to trust that the drugs she’d prescribed to help temper my gnawing anxiety and ever-present depression weren’t going to kill me after watching many of the guys under Dahlia’s care die from accidental overdoses taking coke cut with rat poison. It had been an insurmountable mountain that I’d kept trying to scale, but inevitably ended up failing and falling back down.
“Every day is a fresh start. What happened yesterday doesn’t control me or influence today. I am worthy of happiness. I am worthy of love. I deserve to live.” I scoffed at my reflection in the mirror as it stared back at me as I spoke my daily affirmations. I didn’t see the point of them, but it was all part of the CBT Joelle had me on.
“What are you up to, angel?”
Bane stepped up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist before nuzzling tender kisses on my neck. I tipped my head to the side to allow him better access and sighed, relaxing into his hard body.
“Just saying my daily affirmations.”
“Mmm.” He moaned as the tip of his tongue teased my pulse point. I shuddered as he nudged the sensitive spot just below my ear with his nose and inhaled, his chest rumbling behind me.
Lost in the beauty of our reflection, my mind wandered. The contrast between us was striking. Bane might have been only five years older than me, but where I still looked like a teenager, he was all man. He towered over me effortlessly, looking like he could scoop me up like I weighed nothing. I couldn’t deny how much I loved the way he could maneuver me with just a flick of his hands, even if it sometimes stirred something deep and uncomfortable in me.
His broad shoulders, carved with deliciously defined muscles, flowed down to powerful arms and a chest that commanded attention, leading to abs that would make any bodybuilder green with envy. His forearms, thick and veined like something out of a fantasy, guided my gaze down to where his large hands rested. They skimmed teasingly across my exposed stomach, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. They made me feel delicate, precious even, and lit a fire in me that traveled through my veins and spread out to my fingertips and down to my toes.
“What would you like to do today, angel?” Bane’s lips brushed the shell of my ear, the heat from his exhale making me shiver.
There were so many things I wanted to do, and all of them involved him. The last few weeks had pushed us individually to our limits and tested us as a couple. After Dale’s body was discovered alongside the fire that burned down any evidence of the crime, Bane had been relentless in his work. The hours I’d spent alone had me feeling like I was caged once again. Luckily, I had Shadow, and after much coaxing from me, Bane allowed us out into the yard to play for a couple of hours a day.
“Well…” My breath caught in my throat as I watched his hand slide up my stomach and tweak my nipples before gently collaring my throat with a possessive hold.
Bane chuckled huskily in my ear. “Well what, sweetheart?”
My tongue toyed with my bottom lip, and my mouth curved into a grin when I caught his eyes tracing the movement in my reflection. His comforting weight became more present as he pinned me against the counter, and my head fell back against his chest when the weight of his hard length rested between my cheeks.
“I was thinking…”
“Yes?”
His thumb brushed over my slick bottom lip and pulled it down until it bounced free, and I felt more than heard his deep groan. I pushed my ass back against his hardness and slowly rotated my hips in a figure of eight motion in the limited space. After everything we had done, we still hadn’t had full penetrative sex, but that need had become a craving I couldn’t ignore.
I wanted Bane in every way, needed him to replace the touch of everyone who had stolen their pleasure from me at the expense of my suffering.
He had promised he’d teach me what pleasure was, what it felt like to feel a connection with someone that defied the laws of physics. Bane had succeeded and made sex a religious experience. There were no words to describe how he made me feel, and if there were, I had yet to learn them.
Panted breaths heated my cheek, and Bane’s eyes filled with a lust-fueled fire as he stared at me through our reflections.
“I-I thought…m-maybe we could watch...” My bottom lip rolled through my teeth as I fought to smother the grin trying to break free. Bane arched his eyebrow in question and pinched the pebbled nubs on my chest until I was squirming against him and lost the rhythmic roll of my hips. “We could watch Is It Cake? ”
Slack jawed, his hold on my throat loosened. “Watch Is It Cake? You are a devious little deceiver, angel.” Bane growled and nipped at my earlobe. “I can think of something else we should do to work up a suitable appetite before we watch that.”
Large hands coasted down my arms, one bracing around my back, while the other hit the back of my knees as he bent down and scooped me into his arms and marched out of the bathroom.
“Bane, put me down.”
“I’ll put you down, alright.” He smirked when I glanced up at him. In a split second, I was sailing through the air and landing with an undignified thud on the bed. “Out.” Shadow’s head snapped up from where he was basking on the floor in the sun’s rays. I swore he pouted as he left the room with his tail between his legs.
Bane crossed over to the door in two powerful strides and locked it before the weight of his heady gaze pinned me in place. “Now then, as I have the weekend off, I thought we could spend some time getting reacquainted? What do you say, angel?”
Enraptured, I watched him stop at the foot of the bed and work his grey sweats down his ass before kicking them across the floor. His long, thick cock slapped against his abs, a glistening bead of precum leaking from his slit.
Licking my lips, I crawled down the bed toward him. My eyes traced the slow stroke of his hand as he worked himself from root to tip. Saliva pooled in my mouth as arousal flooded my veins and my cock thickened beneath my boxers.
“Come here, angel.” Bane beckoned me with a curl of his finger and patted the foot of the bed. “Lie down on your back with your head over the edge and open that pretty little mouth for me. I want you to get me nice and slick before you finally welcome me home.”
A shiver rolled through me as I got into position. Luckily for Bane, his bed was high, so he’d only have to bend his knees a little to lay his glorious length on my tongue. In position, I tipped my head back far enough to swirl the tip of my tongue over his heavy balls that hung above me.
Bane jolted like he’d been struck by lightning, and his large body collapsed over me, hands braced against the bed by my knees. “Fuck me,” he groaned as I sucked one of his balls into my mouth and laved my tongue around it. “I wasn’t expecting that.” The gravelly texture to his voice had deepened a few octaves, making it a palpable entity that caressed my skin and heated the blood in my veins.
“So fucking beautiful.” I felt each word form against my thigh as soft kisses glided over my skin to my groin. My dick twitched as he mouthed my cloth-covered erection from the base to the head, where he lapped at the wet patch formed from my precum.
“B-Bane,” I whimpered as I released his other ball and wrapped my hand around his steely length, trying in vain to position it so I could wrap my lips around its swollen, glistening head. “I-I need…”
“I know what you need. Just hold still for a second.” I glanced up when his fingers sank beneath the elastic of my boxer briefs. I tensed when the cool air hit my length as he peeled my underwear down my legs. Without thought, I stroked his length and enjoyed the show as his abs contracted and extended above me as he finally divested me of the only item of clothing I was wearing.
Bane’s fingers danced up my legs, traced the juncture where my thighs met my groin, and followed the slight gullies that hinted at abs across my stomach until the heat from his palms massaged my pecs. He tweaked my nipples, and my body vibrated under his ministrations, my hips eagerly lifting off the bed, seeking him out.
“Open for me, baby.”
I blinked, dazed and drowning in my want for him. It felt like a drug, his every touch cementing my addiction, ingraining it in my bones. He dipped his thumb into my mouth, gently pulling my chin down, opening me further as he positioned himself and rested the head of his dick against my lips. The salty flavor of his precum dripped into my mouth and burst across my taste buds. A needy moan vibrated in my chest. I wanted to swallow him whole, but I’d relinquished control to Bane, because I knew he’d take care of me, always putting my needs before his own.
With his hands cupping my cheeks, Bane slowly thrust into my mouth, holding my jaw open while I adjusted to the stretch before pushing in. The silky texture of his erection glided down my tongue until it hit the back of my throat, and I swallowed around him, pulling his dick farther down.
“Fuck. I forgot you have no gag reflex.”
My lips twitched. I wanted to smile, but they were stretched to capacity around his girth. One of Bane’s hands moved down to my throat and tightened until he would have been able to feel his cock buried deep inside me. I loved the possessive hold he had on me, but I also knew he did it so he could monitor my pulse as I lost myself to my submission of him.
By the time his heavy balls rested on my chin, my throbbing cock was leaking like a fountain. Precum smeared across my lower stomach, so sensitive that even the air moving had my balls drawing up close.
“Such a good boy for me, angel,” he cooed as he worked his length in and out of my throat.
Saliva seeped from my lips every time he pulled back, so only the glans stayed in my mouth. I sucked in a much-needed breath. I dipped the tip of my tongue into his slit, seeking the next salty drop before he sunk back down into my throat.
I braced my hands on his muscled thighs, my fingers sinking into his flesh hard enough to leave bruises as his tempo increased and he started to use me the way I wanted him to. He owned my heart, body, and soul. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for him—even dying with his cock lodged in my throat. The limited supply of oxygen to my lungs was affecting me. It felt like flying, like I was slowly leaving my body behind, blanketed in a warmth only Bane could give me. The never-ending buzzing in my mind quietened as I gave myself to him.
Hot kisses rained down my spine, and when I opened my eyes, the world slowly came back into focus. I found myself lying on my front, my head resting on my folded arms, my knees tucked under me and my ass in the air. Bane’s hands held the globes of my ass apart, his heated touch a brand on my skin as his tongue circled the divots at the base of my spine.
“You’re so perfect for me, Riv,” he murmured against the base of my spine. “I need a quick taste before—” I missed what he said as he licked from my taint to my entrance. His hot, wet tongue circled the tight ring of muscles, stoking the burning need that thrummed below my skin and pooled at the base of my spine. Bane lapped at my hole using his tongue, lips, and teeth to tease the sensitive skin until it softened enough to allow his stiffened tongue inside me.
“M-more.” I reached back and sunk my hand into his thick hair and pulled him closer. Holding him in place, I rocked my hips and pushed back, forcing his tongue deeper inside me as I rode his face. The rough abrasion of his stubble only heightened my pleasure, but it wasn’t enough. My channel ached to be filled.
“I n-need you.”
“Are you sure?”
It was sweet that he checked in. It was obvious my body was on board—it was practically begging him to get inside it, but Bane loved me. He cherished me in a way that was still foreign. It felt alien to be desired as more than a hole to be used and discarded. He cared enough to check that I was mentally present and consenting.
“Y-yes.” Arousal consumed me to the point it was getting almost impossible to form coherent sounds. Sweat slicked my skin, and I felt like I’d claw my skin off if he didn’t get inside me. “Now.”
My arm flailed, feeling like jelly as it stretched toward the nightstand to get the lube. My fingers clutched the blankets, unable to get close enough. Bane chuckled above me, heat pouring off his skin as he leaned over me and smoothly retrieved it. I rolled my eyes. Of course, even on edge, he could still do everything with a fluidity I’d never possess.
“Shh, angel,” he murmured when I flinched as cold drops of lube landed at the base of my spine and slid down my crease. “I’ve got you.” His talented fingers swiftly worked me open and sunk inside me before I could beg for more. The head of his cock notched against my entrance. He dragged it around the softened ring of muscle, pushing against it but not breaching it and sinking inside me.
“Bane,” I mewled, desperately needing him.
“No.” I froze. His hands gripped my hips, his fingers flexing into my skin. “Not like this. When I finally sink inside you, I want to watch every emotion flicker over your face. I want to watch you come on my cock. I need to see you fly.” My head spun at his beautiful words and the meaning behind them. The sentiment stole the air from my lungs as he flipped me over.
“B-Bane,” I breathed as he pushed my knees up to my chest and bracketed my hips with his legs and tipped my pelvis up.
“Hands behind your knees.” I obeyed immediately, mesmerized by the frantic rise and fall of his chest and the way his dark skin glistened in the beams of sunlight cutting into the room. His sweat glistened like diamonds, casting fractals of light around us.
My head rocked from side to side, trying to clear the lust from my mind so I’d remember this moment forever. I’d be able to relive it whenever my eyes closed. “P-please.”
The most serene smile lifted his swollen lips, and his mismatched eyes burned with the power of a thousand suns as he looked at me. It felt like time stood still, a silent sentinel to this moment. One that could never be taken back, one that would change each of us irrevocably. One that would finally heal the cracks in my soul with his golden light.
Bane was about to become part of me, and I’d never forget it.
The intensity of our connection grew, and the air thickened with our combined arousal. I shuddered as the head of his cock circled my entrance before he tapped it against my rim and pushed inside.
“Oh my god,” I breathed out, and bore down as his thick head slid inside me. Bolts of electricity pulsed beneath my skin, and Bane released a shuddering breath as another inch worked its way down my channel. My head tipped back, and my eyes fluttered closed as the sensation overwhelmed me. The burning stretch, the heavy weight, the pain that turned to pleasure as another inch entered me, my body eager for more.
“You’re doing so well, angel.” He kissed my forehead, then sealed his lips to mine and licked inside my mouth, tasting himself on my tongue as his hips thrust forward again. “That’s it, baby. Half of my length is inside you.”
I felt so full, so owned, but not quite complete. I needed him fully seated inside me for that to happen. Releasing the grip I had on my legs, I locked them around his waist and dug my heels into the globes of his ass and pushed his deeper inside of me, refusing to stop until his groin was flush with my ass and I could feel the heavy weight of his balls.
“Fuck! River,” he growled. “I’m going to come if you keep doing that, and I want to make it so good for you.” Ownership laced every syllable as he possessed me wholly.
I could see his need in his eyes. It echoed mine.
“I’m so close,” I breathed against his lips as I pulled him back down for another soul-affirming kiss. As my tongue wrapped around his, he pulled back the head of his cock, dragging it over that sweet spot inside me only he’d ever been able to find.
“You’re so fucking tight.”
He rolled his hips, slowly keeping as much of his length inside me as was humanly possible. He settled into a languid rhythm that had our slick bodies locked together in delicious torture, sending waves of pleasure surging through me. I felt like I was soaring with Bane right alongside me. My balls drew up tight, hugging the base of my cock as it throbbed and pulsed, trapped between our bodies. Every thrust of his hips, the friction of his hard abs against my sensitive skin, had me thickening and precum leaking from me with every pass.
“Angel.” His lips brushed mine. Not for a kiss, but for the electrical connection that hummed between us.
“Bane…I-I’m…”
“I know.” He smiled, pure love shining in his eyes. His hands cupped my face, and he rested his forehead against mine. “I can feel your body cling to me every time I try to pull back. It’s magical, the way your walls ripple around me. You’re perfect, River.”
He thickens inside me, pushing my body to its limit. I felt raw and undone. Bane’s control fractured, and his thrusts became animalistic. Primal. His cock pulsed inside me as he filled me with his cum. I finally felt free.
“Come for me, angel.” Bane’s body shook as his release stole him away and separated his soul from his body. “Fuck. Yes. Yes, River, that’s it. Come on my cock, angel.”
My orgasm obliterated me as it detonated, incinerating me from the inside out. Every muscle froze as thick ropes of cum sprayed across my stomach all the way to my chin. Every color in existence burst behind my eyes as the world faded away.
Sweat dripped from Bane’s face as he clutched me to him, still lost in the aftershocks of his orgasm. Every shockwave made his still hard cock twitch inside me, eliciting a groan deep within my chest. My muscles refused to work, and my arms and legs felt like jelly. I was high on my post orgasmic haze, my body and mind finally sated.
I felt kisses all over my face and sighed, sinking into the mattress. Rough fingers kneaded the lax muscles in my arms, while Bane whispered sweet words of love and affection into my ear. He rolled us until I was sprawled on top of him and drew the blankets over us.
“Shh, angel. Sleep. I’ve got you.”
My head weighed a ton, but I managed to lift it enough to rest my chin on his chest. After a couple of deep cleansing breaths, I said, “Stay inside me…for…as long…” Sleep claimed me before I could beg him to stay there, plugging me. I didn’t want this magical connection to ever end.