Chapter Twenty-Five
Margo
Can we talk about what happened back there?
We’re late, Margo.
Hayes, we need—
We’re late, Margo.
The drive over to Blue Beauty, Carrie’s pretty house perched on a hill that overlooked the Columbia River, was a short one. But by some sort of twisted, obsessive miracle, I’d managed to replay the scene between the man I was falling for and me over thirty times.
Granted, this…relationship was still new, but our history was anything but fresh.
I’d started to fall for him the second he promised me he’d save my best friend, not because of his power to do so, but because of the truth behind his promise.
He’d never failed me, even when I needed him to.
Him leaving me after our one-night stand was something I couldn’t hold against him.
That was my fault, and he thought he was doing the right thing.
After all, he was Mr. Perfect.
When I came out of the bedroom, he wasn’t in the apartment. He was standing outside in the cold, his eyes on the water, my pies already in the car. He was silent as I locked up, and when I turned to face him, he wouldn’t even look at me as he grabbed my hand and tried to lead me down the stairs.
Now, I looked down to my lap, hating that his hand was resting on the gear shift instead of my thigh.
Every time I looked at him, a muscle in his cheek jumped, making him look even more beautiful than when he was inside me.
There was an anger radiating from him, but I couldn’t tell if it was directed at me or himself.
His words, gruff and laced with pleasure, repeated in my head as he parked in his usual spot under the streetlight.
Tell me you love me, Margo.
Tell me you love me, Margo.
Tell me you love me, Margo.
Tell me you love me, Margo.
Tell me you love me, Margo.
Tell me you love me, Margo.
Tell me you love me, Margo.
Tell me you love me, Margo.
Tell me you love me, Margo.
Tell me you love me, Margo.
Tell me you love me, Margo.
Tell me you love me, Margo.
“Margo?”
My head snapped up, the cold air hitting me like a train as my eyes collided with his dark green ones.
He’d already parked and gotten out of the car, then came around to my side.
My lips parted as I studied him, silently begging him to let me in, to tell me what was running through his perfect mind, to tell me why he was angry.
His features softened slightly, his brows relaxing as the shadow in his eyes retreated just so. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head. “No. I am far from okay, Hayes Mitchell.”
He flinched. “Baby—”
“We’re late, remember?” I quipped as I put my legs out, forcing him to move back.
He gave me the room I needed to hop down, open the back door, and grab the pies.
I turned, shut the door with my hip, and walked up the hill to the house, keeping my eyes on the blue jay statue in the second story window.
Carrie and I had gone to an estate sale down the coast one day, and the second we walked into the giant beach house, our eyes landed on the blue jay, the morning sun hitting it just right.
I told her she had to have it for the window.
I told her that blue jays were a symbol of determination.
After everything she’d been through, she needed a reminder of how far she’d come.
Secretly, it always made me feel good seeing it when I walked into her house.
It was also a symbol of how far I’d come too.
Of course, she didn’t know any of that back then.
Now, that damn bird was staring down at me, mocking me.
I tore my eyes from the creature as my Docs hit her small walkway, the snow from last night already melting, the sun high above me.
Hayes trailed behind me, his boots crunching over the salt, the rest of him silent.
I tried to ignore the distance between us, how cold it felt… how it scared me.
Once I was on the porch, I waited until he was right behind me to knock.
Carrie, Sarah, and I had a secret knock that we always used.
I didn’t use the secret knock, and when my best friend opened the door, she knew something was wrong.
She was wearing a pretty cream sweater dress that wrapped around her curves in an elegant way.
Her curls were pulled back into a French twist, her engagement ring shining as brightly as her blue eyes.
Still, the flicker of uncertainty was there as she looked at me first, then Hayes.
I blinked in the same code as our knock, and she snapped out of it.
“Hi, guys!” she greeted, her voice filled with a holiday cheer I used to dread. Now I was desperate to cling to it. “Come in.”
“Sorry we’re late,” I muttered as she pulled me in for a hug.
The pies were taken from me, and I looked up at Hayes. “I can take those,” I offered.
“I got them,” he said as he gave a nod to Carrie. Then he walked through the living room and into the kitchen. It was at this point that I noticed the living room was empty, the house quiet.
“Where is everyone?” I asked as she grabbed my hand, pulling me to the staircase.
“Late. Everyone is late.” She sighed. “Which is fine because the food isn’t done and Grayson cannot find Tic-Tac anywhere.”
Oh, shit.
The last time they lost that damn cat, he was found two doors down, eating dog food. Tic-Tac was the neighborhood bully, apparently. I cleared my throat and looked over my shoulder.
“Where’s Grayson?”
Where’s Hayes?
“Out on the back porch, talking to Mags,” she answered, dragging me up the stairs. Just then, I heard the back door open and slam shut.
And now, so was my man.
“Okay and where are we going?” I asked, stumbling up behind her, my stomach twisting with anxiety. “Cardinal, I haven’t even taken my damn coat off. What the fuck?”
She didn’t let go of me until she pulled me into the master bedroom. I took a second to look around, because one, I fucking loved this room, and two, they had painted it since the last time I was in here. I turned to her as she shut the door and locked it.
Double shit.
Clearing my throat, I waved my finger in a circle at the ceiling. “The green looks good. Very calming.”
She folded her arms over her chest and bit the inside of her cheek, studying me for a moment.
I shifted my weight and unbuttoned my coat, pulling it off and hanging it over my forearm.
Her eyes scanned over my vintage purple velvet dress with black roses.
It was skintight, hugged my hips, and went down to my ankles.
It was also long sleeved and I felt like I’d walked off the set of Charmed or Buffy.
“I see you’re wearing the dress I found for you,” she noted.
I nodded. “Of course I am,” I scoffed, looking down at it. I pulled up the hem, showing her my fish nets. “Told you it would look good with these.”
“Yes, I have a good eye, and you have excellent style. Very grungy. Very pretty. Very Margo,” she said pointedly before she narrowed her eyes. “Now tell me what the hell is going on between you and Hayes.”
“I don’t—”
“Don’t bullshit me,” Carrie cut me off, her voice sweet. “When I was over there the other night, he couldn’t take his eyes or hands off you. I could practically hear his heart calling out to yours, like I was in the middle of one of the best written love stories known to humankind.”
“You’re such a romantic,” I muttered dryly.
She raised her finger at me. “Don’t do that either.”
I hated when she and Sarah read me like an open book. If this was the price of having best friends, I was seriously considering returning them to the Best Friends Emporium for the Sad and Lonely.
“Margo, talk to me. Did something happen?” she pressed gently.
“I’m here for you, whatever you need.” She paused.
“I’m not going to have to hit him with a frying pan, am I?
” I did a slow blink, and she held her hands up.
“Listen, it will be awkward…you know, because he and Grayson own a business together. They are also best friends, but you’re my best friend, and there’s a code we have to follow.
So, if he hurt you, please tell me so I can plan my attack accordingly. ”
“Cardinal—”
“Granted, it would be ideal to kick him out before the other guests arrive, but he is a fan of my roasted carrots…And since he did save my life, I think he needs a carrot. But I can definitely bop him before dessert. He won’t get to taste your pies. That is my vow to you.”
“No,” I whispered. “He hasn’t hurt me.” Her shoulders sagged with relief, and I looked over to the window seat. “Not yet, at least.”
The air in the room shifted, the temperature dropping. I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself, ready to put my coat back on, crawl underneath her covers, and hide for the rest of the day.
My eyes met hers, a lump forming in my throat. “I think…I think he doesn’t want to fall in love with me.”
“What!” she screeched, her eyes nearly popping out of her head.
I bit my bottom lip, and she waved her hands in a “Hello? What the hell?” gesture, waiting for more.
So I gave her all I could. Which was a short summary of what happened this morning, nothing more.
I didn’t tell her about the sadness lingering in his eyes or the way he would subtly push me away when I got too close to his walls.
I also didn’t tell her about how, when he wasn’t near me, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
Hayes Mitchell, somehow, had become tethered to my lifeline.
Now, my future and all plans were losing their shine, the illusion of perfection that I’d been panting for.
Unless he was in it, my future wasn’t bright and shiny. It was dull.
“Have you tried talking to him?”
I nodded, my eyes stinging. “He wouldn’t even look at me after, Cardinal.”
“Do you?” she asked. “Do you love him?”
Yes.
I have loved him for some time.