Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
BOOKER
I would never hear the end of it from Dex that his advice about Reece had actually worked. The weirdest thing was that I didn’t even care. I’d live a life of his incessant teasing if it kept Reece by my side.
I saw the doubt in her eyes when I asked her out. It wasn’t that she didn’t want me. She was afraid. And I couldn’t blame her. It was hard enough to put your heart out there, and doubly so when someone had already abused it.
But I was okay with slow. Not that we’d really followed that advice up until now.
This thing between us burned with a fire I’d never experienced before.
That was how I knew. How I knew she was the one I wanted to fight for. The one that was worth the dance.
But right now, none of that helped me. Because here I was, sitting in my truck outside of my parents’ house, trying to work up the courage to go inside.
I hated this place. I rarely, if ever, came back if I could help it. In fact, I rarely, if ever, saw my parents, and they were just as okay with that as I was.
They had such high hopes for their eldest, and once I’d failed every single one of them, they’d cast me aside. It was possibly the nicest thing they’d ever done for me.
Now, we all did our best to pretend the other didn’t exist, and my parents tried their damndest to make sure no one else knew about it. I didn’t really give a damn about what the town thought. As long as they left me alone, and I could live my life however I wanted, I didn’t really care about any of it anymore.
Dex: The parts are here. Reece’s car will be done in a couple of days.
Me: You already told me that.
Dex: I know. I just wanted an excuse to text you so I could pretend I hadn’t been wondering all day if you asked Reece out.
Xander: Wait, you’re asking Reece out? When did this happen?
Trace: Damn, now I owe Delaney twenty bucks.
Xander: Do we like Reece?
Me: You don’t have to like her at all. I’m the one who’s going out with her.
Xander: Hey, I’m in this family too. I just want to know if she’s good enough for my big brother.
Trace: According to Delaney, she’s amazing and exactly what he needs.
Me: Why does that sound so insulting?
Trace: They’re all too good for us.
Me: I can’t think about Reece right now.
Dex: Oh, man. She said no?
Me: Of course she didn’t say no.
Dex: Then what’s wrong, big bear?
Me: I’m at the parents’ house.
Xander: Why?
Me: Someone needs to get the info on Gage.
Dex: And you volunteered as tribute? Shit, Booker, you should have let me come with you.
It should help that they knew why I didn’t want to do this and fully supported me not being around those people.
Except it didn’t.
Someone had to do it, and I wasn’t about to let Trace or Xander walk into that place. Not when they were finally free.
That was why I’d driven my ass here this morning. I was the black sheep child that they didn’t want around. Yes, I’d be subject to the worst of our mother’s criticism, but she wouldn’t try to suck me back into her plans. I was the last person on earth she wanted in them.
Trace and Xander couldn’t say the same.
I’d failed Gage. I hadn’t been there when he needed me. Hell, I hadn’t even known he needed me. And, as a consequence, he’d fled in the middle of the night, leaving only a brief note, and I’d never seen my brother again.
I wouldn’t fail my other brothers.
Me: It needs doing, and it might as well be me.
Dex: Do you think they’ll actually give it to you?
Me: I’m not leaving without it.
Trace: I’m leaving now. Wait for me.
Me: No fucking way, brother. I’ll be done by the time you get here anyway.
Damn it.
I shoved my cell into my pocket and climbed out of the car. I wouldn’t let Trace ride in here thinking he was acting the hero and getting sucked back into this bullshit.
At least I’d gotten my motivation to get this done.
I wasn’t surprised when the door swung open as I approached. They’d have known the minute I drove through the gates that I was here.
That it was my father standing in the doorway and not Emmie, the housekeeper, was a surprise, though.
“I need to speak with you,” I said, avoiding any of the usual formalities.
He was so used to how I felt about this place that he didn’t even flinch anymore. Only my mother would have had some kind of cutting remark about how I’d lost my manners in the gutter or some other such bullshit. Jasper was used to my disdain by now.
The brief flash of sadness that crossed his eyes was new, though. Not that I’d let it suck me in. It was probably just his latest manipulation tactic. The only surprising thing about it was that he’d try to waste it on me.
“We can talk in the study,” he offered, holding out a hand to point the way as if I’d have forgotten.
I shoved my hands in my pockets and walked through the ostentatious hallway to the oak-lined study my father had always closed himself inside when we were kids. There was a time when I’d thought he didn’t know what our mother did to us. That he was so busy it had completely passed him by.
Now that I was an adult, I saw the truth of it, though. Of course, he’d known. He just liked to pretend that he didn’t.
I came to a stop in the middle of the room. There was no way I was sitting down and drawing this out any longer than it needed to be.
“I’m here for the details on Gage,” I told him. “I know you kept track of him.”
My father rounded his desk, sitting in his seat with a sigh before opening the top drawer of his desk. He drew out a manilla file and dropped it onto his desk. It baffled me how a man who had been so successful in life could still live in an analog age. Or maybe it was just his dirty secrets that he preferred to hide away in his paper files.
“I have my man looking for him…”
“Don’t bother. We’ll do it ourselves.”
Gage would never come home if our parents were the ones making the offer. He needed to know that his brothers wanted him. That we didn’t blame him for the things our mother had dragged him into as a child.
My father sighed, leaning back in his chair. I could almost see the gears spinning as he tried to figure out how to use this to his advantage.
“Okay.” He held out the file for me, and I cautiously took it.
“Okay?” There was no way it would be this easy.
“Yes. I know I’ve been a terrible father. That I turned a blind eye to things that shouldn’t have happened. I should have been more present. I should have been stronger for you boys. I failed you.”
“Terrible things? The nights when she locked us in the stables for failing to achieve her impossible standards. The staff she fired for sneaking us food when she’d decreed that hunger would make our minds sharper. Are these the terrible things you’re only now regretting?”
My father went pale. There was no way he hadn’t known, even if that was the impression he wanted to give. He couldn’t have been so blind that he didn’t know what was happening in his own house.
“I’ve made so many mistakes that I don’t know how to make up for it,” he admitted.
“Sometimes there is no making up for the things you did in the past. Sometimes you just have to live with the consequences.”
I turned around to storm out of the house only to find my mother standing in the doorway, glaring at me like I was something that had been dragged in on the sole of a shoe—not one of hers, of course. She’d never stoop so low as to have that happen.
“Why are you here?”
“I’m saving my brothers from having to come to this place. But don’t worry, I’m leaving now.”
She didn’t move. Even at her barely five feet in height, she just stood there and looked down on me. I wasn’t above pushing past her, but there was a sick part of me that wanted to hear what she had to say. To hear the cutting remark she’d spit at me to prove that I’d done the right thing.
“Regina, everything he said…”
“I did to make them stronger ,” she spat at my father. “Someone had to. We all knew you were too busy.”
I looked back at my father over my shoulder. He’d surged out of his seat and was bracing his hands on his desk. The glare he leveled at my mother actually made me frown.
There was no possible way he hadn’t known it all. Was there?
“Booker, we need to talk,” my father called after me as I took another step forward to leave.
My mother sneered at me. I knew I was her greatest disappointment, but I didn’t know when she’d started to hate me this much.
“Let him go,” she scoffed. “We don’t need his kind around here. Think of the property value, Jasper.” Then she laughed like it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard.
“Regina, for god’s sake,” my father snapped.
“There’s a reason why people take out the trash, dear. All it does if you keep it around is stink up the place.”
“Shut. Up!” My father bellowed so loudly that my mother’s mouth actually snapped shut with a click of her teeth.
Spinning on the spot, she stormed out of the room, leaving behind a cloud of Chanel that caught in the back of my throat, making me want to gag.
I was a step behind her, ready to put this place and the people in it behind me for as long as I could get away with.
“Booker, wait!” my father called after me. I heard his footsteps clacking on the marble floor behind me. I just didn’t want to stop and talk to him.
I had what I needed. There was nothing else left here for me.
“Please,” he said as he followed me down the steps.
I hesitated at the truck, turning back to him in a moment of weakness. “What?” I snapped.
“I didn’t…” His voice broke, and he turned to look off into the distance, clearing his throat before he could meet my gaze again. “If there’s anything I can do to help you locate Gage, let me know.”
“There’s nothing I need you for anymore.”
And I got into my truck and drove away, those words ringing through my head as I drove away.
I pulled the truck to a stop at the gate, pulling my cell from my pocket to fire off a text before I turned out onto the main road, swearing this was the last time.
Me: It’s done. I have the file.