Chapter 30 Angus
The Life Experiment: Daily Questionnaire
Property of OPM Discoveries
What are two things you are grateful for today?
Finally having a clue about what I want to do with my life
Nabbing Coldplay tickets. They’re going to be a great surprise present for Layla!
What are you struggling with today?
I could do with Layla’s advice on so much right now, but I can’t open up to her. My own stupid fault, I know
Do you have any additional notes on what you would like to discuss in your upcoming counselling session?
Not really. If you could make me feel better about the above, that would be great
It had been a long time since Angus felt nervous approaching his parents’ house.
The last time was in his early twenties, sheepishly returning home from a trip to Portugal that went awry.
Jasper and Angus had hosted a party that resulted in their accommodation being trashed.
When the bill for repairs hit tens of thousands, Peter demanded to know what Angus had been thinking by inviting strangers inside.
Back then Angus wasn’t thinking, but now he was.
Hopping out of the car, Angus headed inside.
It was after dinner, so his parents would be relaxing in the snug.
A title not entirely fitting for a room bigger than the floorplan of most homes.
His knuckles rapped on the door twice before he pushed it open.
A crackling log fire greeted him, as did his surprised parents.
Sitting on opposite couches, Gilly curled under a blanket, Peter with a book, the pair straightened at the arrival of their son.
‘Angus, what a lovely surprise,’ Gilly said, rising to her feet. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘Everything’s great.’
She brushed a lock of hair back from Angus’s face. ‘You certainly look well. A little flushed, but well.’
‘That’s the flush of excitement,’ Peter said, slotting a bookmark into his book. ‘Is there something in particular you’re here for?’
‘Actually, there is.’
Peter nodded like he expected as much, then indicated for Angus to join him on the sofa. When Gilly retook her seat, Angus obliged, although the energy rattling through his frame made him want to pace the room instead.
‘Well,’ Peter said after a moment. ‘Spit it out, son.’
‘We own two townhouses near Great Ormond Street Hospital, don’t we?’ Angus asked.
Peter nodded. ‘We do, yes.’
‘Good. Well, I’d like them.’
The glass of water Gilly was about to drink from hovered inches from her lips. The sight would have been comical were it not for the seriousness of the moment. ‘You’d like them?’ she repeated.
‘That’s right, yes.’
As Gilly choked on a startled laugh, Peter fixed his gaze on Angus. ‘May I ask what for?’
‘I’d like to set up a charity specialising in short-term housing for people receiving ongoing hospital care and those supporting them. A bit like a hotel, but one people can stay at with no cost.’
Angus waited for his parents to react, but it was like someone had pressed pause on the scene.
‘I’ve drafted a proposal of how it would work,’ he continued.
‘I’d like your input, but I have a clear idea.
We would still own and maintain the properties, but their use would not be for domestic rentals anymore.
We’d convert each room into a self-catering unit as well as provide free access to counselling and other resources for residents, should they wish to use them.
The building’s function would simply be to support families in these situations. ’
‘Situations…? What situations?’ Gilly asked, confused.
‘People visiting loved ones in intensive care. People who’ve suffered strokes or are undergoing chemotherapy.
Anyone who needs it, really. You’ve no idea how expensive the disruption is for people enduring treatment, never mind those trying to support them through it.
Frequent hospital parking alone is more than most can afford, and that’s without factoring in things like petrol, childcare and time off work. ’
Gilly blinked. ‘So you want to host these people in our properties for free?’
‘As a charitable enterprise, yes,’ Angus confirmed.
‘For goodness’ sake, Angus. Can’t you write a cheque like everyone else?!’ Gilly cried, laughing to process her shock. She looked to Peter, waiting for him to fall in line, but he was too busy studying his son. Gilly scoffed. ‘This is ridiculous! Where on earth has this idea come from?’
‘From listening to people living through what I’ve described and realising how many resources we have to help them.’
‘And where have you met these people?’ Gilly said, picking an imaginary speck of dust from her skirt. ‘What sob story have you naively fallen for?’
‘I’ve started volunteering at a hospice,’ Angus stated, another sentence that made Gilly baulk. ‘Don’t look at me like that, Mother. Please. This matters to me.’
‘But a hospice is where people go to die!’
‘I know, but it’s not like you imagine. Haven is incredible.
They’re there for families from diagnosis to death and beyond.
Accessing support from somewhere like that would have been so useful when Hugo died.
’ The atmosphere shifted at the mention of his brother, but Angus didn’t stop.
‘I know it sounds strange, but after four shifts there, I’ve learned more about living than I have in the thirty-four years I’ve been alive. ’
Angus’s words were met with a strained silence. Gilly broke it with a haughty sniff. ‘Angus, if you’re bored, we know plenty of people who will give you a job.’
‘I’m not bored, Mother. I’m tired of living a life with no meaning. I only have the things I do because of the family I was born into. Worse than that, I’ve had everything given to me and done nothing with it. I don’t want to live like that anymore.’
Angus hoped his impassioned speech would silence his critics, but scepticism reigned strong. Angus supposed he should have expected it. After years of aimless wandering, how could anyone take him seriously when he came to them with a plan this ambitious?
‘This is incredibly insulting,’ Gilly snapped, two pink circles burning her cheeks.
‘You want me to feel guilty for having a beautiful home and owning nice things? For giving you everything a person could possibly wish for? Well, I refuse.’ Gilly’s pale eyes scoured her son.
‘You are selfish, Angus. You insult the life I gave you, then have the cheek to ask for two properties. And the best part is, you want them for free! Do you have any idea how much they are worth? Any idea how much they earn? If you despise the position you were born into so much, then don’t ask to use its benefits. ’
‘I don’t despise the position I was born into – I despise what I’ve done with it.’ Angus’s voice strained. ‘I despise that I’ve spent years only thinking about holidays or partying. I despise that I’ve never done anything because I never had to. I could never be Hugo, so why try?’
Gilly’s head snapped back. ‘Don’t you dare bring your brother into this!’
‘But Hugo is part of this. He’s part of everything I am and everything I have failed to become.’
As Gilly flew to her feet, Peter leaned forward. ‘Let’s take a minute to calm down,’ he began, but Gilly cut him off.
‘My son died, Angus. He died ,’ she hissed. ‘For you to blame him for your shortcomings is, quite frankly, disgusting!’
‘I know Hugo was your son, but he was also my brother,’ Angus replied. ‘He’s the person I measure myself against, but we never got to see who Hugo would become. It’s like measuring myself against a ghost.’
‘Stop talking about him in this way!’
Gilly’s hurt filled the air, but instead of hiding from it, Angus leaned into the emotion his family had long suppressed. ‘Don’t you see? Hugo wouldn’t want me wasting away, scared. He’d want me to do something with my life. Something good.’
Turning pale, Gilly stepped backwards, eying her son as if he were a stranger.
‘Mother, please,’ Angus implored. ‘I know what I want to do now. I know who I need to become. I’m asking for your help.’
From the sofa, Peter spoke up. ‘Free short-term housing, you say?’
Angus turned to his father. ‘That’s right.’
‘And what would we earn from that?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Nothing?’
‘Nothing,’ Angus confirmed.
‘Angus, this is absurd,’ Gilly cried. ‘Those houses are premium properties! There is no way your father and I will let you have one room in them, never mind both buildings.’
‘But you don’t need them,’ Angus protested. ‘So why have them?’
Gilly turned to Peter, slack-jawed. ‘I cannot believe what I am hearing. Can you believe this, Peter? Peter!’
But Peter wasn’t listening to his wife. He was looking at his son as if seeing him for the first time.
Angus inched closer to his father. ‘You have more wealth in this room than most have in their lifetime. Whatever monetary value those properties bring you, the value they would bring to others is exponentially greater. There are people out there you could help—’
‘Since when do you care about helping people?’ Gilly snapped.
‘Since I realised that all this means nothing if you aren’t happy with who you are,’ Angus cried.
‘I’ve spent years not knowing what to do and hating everything I’ve been given.
I was wrong to hate it, but I’d be even more wrong to keep it all to myself.
We have the ability to do so much for so many. Why aren’t we?’
‘This hospice sounds like it’s made quite the impression on you,’ Peter commented.
‘It really has. When I’m there, I think of Hugo. I know it’s silly when he didn’t die in a hospice but—’
Gilly covered her ears, shaking her head to dislodge Angus’s words. ‘Stop mentioning your brother,’ she shouted, but Peter held up his hand.
‘Gilly, it’s time we faced the fact that we lost our way after Hugo passed,’ Peter said before glancing at his son. ‘Perhaps Angus more than anyone.’
‘I feel like I’ve found it now, though. I really do.’
‘Angus—’ Gilly began, but Peter cut her off.
‘The houses are yours,’ he said, standing and squeezing his son’s hand. ‘We’ll meet with my lawyer tomorrow to start putting things in motion.’
‘Peter, you can’t be serious!’ Gilly objected, but her husband ignored her.
‘You’re going to do good things with this, Angus, I can feel it. Take the houses. Volunteer more. Find other ways you can help and use every resource at your fingertips. You have my backing, always.’ With that, Peter turned to his wife. ‘What about you, Gilly? Does Angus have your support?’
Gilly looked from her husband to her son and back again. ‘The… the houses, Peter. We can’t just give them away. They’re worth millions.’
‘I know, but I also know what it feels like to lose someone you love. If we could turn that tragedy into helping someone, shouldn’t we do that? Shouldn’t we have done that all along?’
Angus watched the lines on Gilly’s forehead deepen. Even after all this time, Angus saw the same pain in his mother’s eyes as he had the day Hugo passed. Gilly thought she hid it behind her putdowns and quick wit, but it was there. Sneaky and cruel, it was there.
Suddenly, Gilly met Angus’s gaze. ‘No, Angus doesn’t have my support,’ she said, before sweeping out of the room.
Her departure felt like a punch, but Peter didn’t allow Angus long to be hurt by it.
Striding over to him, Peter lay his hand on his son’s shoulder.
‘Your mother struggles with the idea of death being such a big part of life, Angus. I suppose we all do, after Hugo, but she will come around.’ Pushing past the pain of his grief, Peter forced a smile.
‘You should call the venture Hugo’s House. It would be a fitting tribute.’
‘Hugo’s House,’ Angus repeated. Somewhere inside, the words clicked. From one look at his father, Angus knew they’d clicked with Peter too.