Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
DELANEY
H oly shit, I was kissing Trace.
And it was so much better than I’d remembered.
This was the man the teenage Trace had become. His wet shirt clung to his body, showing every dip and curve of the muscles it hid. The wild tangle of hair that he’d never been able to fully tame was slicked back from his face from the rain, and even though he’d surged forward with one of those manly groans that made me weak in the knees, he held onto me like I was the most precious thing in his life.
My stomach dipped at the thought, and my brain revolted. Because I had been precious to Trace once, but then he’d thrown me away.
The pain of that one single thought lanced through my heart, and I pulled away. Stumbling back a step as I wrenched myself free of his tender touch.
“Delaney?” He didn’t move. He didn’t step forward, and he didn’t try to pull me back into his arms.
I watched as the pain crossed his features. As those stormy blue eyes clouded with questions.
Part of me wanted him to hurt. Wanted to throw him away and see an ounce of the pain on his face that he’d caused to me.
But I couldn’t.
I’d seen a different side of Trace in the pasture, a vulnerable side that I knew he hadn’t shown to anyone else. It had always been like that between us. I was the holder of all his secrets, and even after he broke me so completely, I’d never whispered a single one of them. And I never would.
There was a part of me that still loved him. A shadow of the heartbroken teenager who still thought it was all a mistake. Even in the moments when I’d hated him, I’d still loved him and despised myself for being so weak.
But the thing with clinging to the beautiful memories of a time when everything had felt so much easier was that you remembered what it felt like to be free. To not have to deal with the everyday struggles of life. It was a moment when you could push away the sorrows that weighed you down and let yourself be happy, even if it was just for a moment.
And I wanted that.
I wanted to forget about the grief and the pain and feel like I had all those years ago. To remember a time when Trace had been my everything, and he’d made me feel like his whole life. When nothing else mattered.
Maybe I was drunk on the memories. Maybe the grief made something inside me break. Whatever it was, I wasn’t going to let this chance slip me by. Even if I hated myself in the morning, I wanted one final night with Trace in my bed, and then in the morning, we could have the bittersweet goodbye we’d never had a chance to have before.
Before I could second guess myself, I held out my hand for him. The relief of dropping all the worries and stress that followed me around every day had a smile coming to my lips.
Right now, I didn’t want to be the heartbroken teenager that had fled Willowbrook. I didn’t want to be the single mom whose whole world was the amazing kid she had the honor of raising.
I just wanted to be a woman, living in the moment with the only man who’d ever been able to make her feel.
Trace’s hand clasped mine, and my stomach flipped with nerves as I pulled him through the front door of the house. He looked around like he’d never seen the place before, and then I realized it was the boxes that he was staring at. It must have been strange for him to see the evidence of the end of my time in Willowbrook staring him in the face. The end of a family era.
This was the perfect way to say goodbye to that stage of my life. And if I was going to do it with anyone, of course, it had to be him.
“Take me to bed, Trace.”
He turned to look at me. His lips parted as if he’d been about to ask a question, but then a hunger entered his gaze as my words registered, and he silently scooped me up into his arms, striding toward the stairs with purpose.
We wasted no time. We were like two magnets, not even trying to fight the pull. His lips were back on mine, and I threaded my fingers through his wet hair to take exactly what I needed.
Trace didn’t miss a step. He didn’t even hesitate as he walked to my old bedroom door and kicked it open.
My fingers tightened in his hair, and he groaned, his lips pushed against mine in an almost bruising manner.
“Is this a good idea?” I whispered against his lips.
“Probably not. Do you want me to stop?”
He clung to me so tightly as he stood next to the bed, his fingers digging into my thighs as he waited for me to tell him if he should stop. For some reason, it was the way he stood so rigid, the tension filling his body as he held himself back, that had me slowly nodding. Trace slowly lowered me to the ground, taking a step back before he shoved his hands into his pockets like he couldn’t trust himself to have them free.
I frowned, not sure what was happening, and then I realized what I’d done.
“Oh, I mean, no.”
“Thank fuck!” He surged forward, scooped me up, and tossed me down onto the mattress. “I need you to be sure, Delaney,” he told me as he towered over me. “This means everything, and I don’t think I’ll survive you regretting it in the morning.”
I reached up, grabbed his wet shirt, and tore it open. The buttons flew across the room, and I winced, not realizing that would happen. I guess it kind of made sense, but I’d assumed they at least stay attached.
Trace chuckled at the look on my face. “You always did know exactly what you wanted.”
I grinned. I had been like that. I wasn’t so sure that I still was, but none of that mattered anymore.
This wasn’t about looking at the past and trying to find all the ways we’d changed. This was about reaching for one more night of the happiness we used to share together and parting.
My hands came to Trace’s shoulders as I helped him push off his shirt, and I was powerless to resist stroking them down his front. The teenage boy I’d once fallen in love with had become a man, and what a man he was.
My fingertips trailed over his pecs, my nails catching his nipple as he watched me with those stormy eyes I’d never been able to resist. I traced the muscles across his stomach, enjoying the way it made him suck in a breath as I slowly made my way down to the waistband of his slacks.
I could already see the evidence of his arousal straining against the material, and I was eager to get my hands on him.
Trace crowded closer, and I lost my balance, falling back onto the mattress as he grinned down at me.
I wanted him so much I could almost feel a constant shiver moving across my skin. My body ached for the feel of him, the memories of a simpler time teasing me with the possibilities of what would come next.
As my hands came to the button on my jeans, Trace tutted and batted them away. I squinted in annoyance, and his smirk just grew larger.
“This is my present, Delaney. I want to unwrap you for myself.”
He sank down closer to me, his hands coming to the waistband of my jeans, pushing the material of my shirt high enough for his lips to drop delicate kisses against my skin.
Just that one simple touch had my breath stalling in my chest. The need inside me made it difficult to think, let alone coordinate the simplest of functions like breathing.
“Lift,” Trace growled as his hands grabbed the denim and started the slow process of peeling the wet material off my body.
I lifted my hips without needing a second command, and it just brought me closer to his mouth. Trace wasted no time in flicking out his tongue to taste my skin as he pulled the pants down over my ass, revealing the dark teal lace of my underwear beneath.
He growled in satisfaction. His lips moved to my lace-covered core as he placed another gentle kiss over the fabric.
Then he began his maddening descent.
Every inch of skin that Trace revealed to himself was covered with delicate kisses or sharp, fast bites that had me moaning in desire. My body was overwhelmed with the need for more.
My hands came up to remove my shirt in my desperation to move to the part I craved, but Trace growled at the sight. “Always so impatient.” He tutted. “Keep those hands by your sides, Delaney. You’ll get your reward at the end.”
I wanted to pout. Hell, there was a part of me that wanted to do it anyway, just to see what would happen if I did. Instead, my hands gripped the bottom sheet with a strength I didn’t want to admit to because I was just as intrigued about what my reward would be.
I lifted my head to stare down my body at the grinning man now kneeling between my legs.
“Good girl,” he whispered, and my stomach flipped in delight.
Damn, that shouldn’t be making me want him even more. I might need to cash in my feminist card after this. Right now, there wasn’t a single part of me that cared.
Trace slowly trailed his fingertips up my thighs as his eyes greedily took me in. I’d never seen that look on his face, but then, the last time we’d been together, it had been the fumbling, albeit fun, experience that most teenagers had. This was the face of a man who was about to get everything he’d ever fantasized about, and I had no idea why he was looking at me that way.
His hands came to the edge of my shirt, and then he paused, looking at me carefully. I nodded, desperate for him to continue.
The corner of Trace’s lips quirked up. But then his attention was completely back on the task at hand as he helped me sit forward and then quickly pulled my shirt up and off. There were no teasing touches or trailing material dragging across my skin. Perhaps he’d finally worn out his own patience.
“You always were beautiful, Delaney, but now you’re divine. Look at you.”
Trace hooked his fingers under my bra straps before he slid them off my shoulders. He gently kissed the crest of each shoulder, and then his fingertips came to my chin as he tipped my head back and stared into my eyes.
“Why does it feel so new and yet exactly the same?”
“Because we’re not the people we used to be,” I told him, reaching and trailing my hand across his cheek.
A sadness reached his eyes for a second, but then he kissed me, and we both forgot what it was that had taken us out of the moment because all that mattered was that he was here, with me.
Trace’s arm wrapped around me as he crushed me to his chest, and his lips devoured mine in a kiss. His tongue licked out across my lips, and my mouth opened as he deepened the kiss.
My bra loosened as he undid the clasp, and when I leaned away, he pulled the straps down my arms. His mouth immediately dropped to my nipples as Trace laid me back on the bed.
“Far too beautiful,” he murmured as his teeth grazed across my nipple, making my hips rock up and seek the friction of the man between my legs.
“Trace,” I panted. “Do this next time. I need you inside me right now.”
I was desperate for more. For everything. I needed to feel him moving inside me. There was a physical ache between my legs that wouldn’t be satisfied until then.
“I love the sound of lust in your voice,” Trace told me, his lips coming back to mine as he kissed me again.
I hooked my leg over Trace’s hip, pulling him even closer, and the kiss stalled as his erection ground against my core.
I couldn’t wait anymore, and as Trace moved, I quickly undid the button on his slacks and started to shimmy them down his legs as far as I could reach.
We both laughed at how ridiculous this was, and it reminded me of how every other time had been for us. When we were younger, we didn’t have the weight of the world on our shoulders. We were free of responsibilities, and from that freedom came a joy and lightness in everything we did together.
Trace quickly freed himself from his pants and then tugged my underwear free. A giggle slipped out of me, but it quickly stalled when I caught sight of him staring up my body from where he’d settled between my thighs.
“You are the most mesmerizing woman I’ve ever met,” Trace said before he gently kissed my pussy. “A man could lose his mind between your thighs, Delaney.”
And then he ran his tongue up my seam, zeroing in on my clit with a sweep of his tongue.
My back arched, my head rolled back from that one simple touch, and Trace wasted no time in zeroing in on extending my pleasure.
I became a mess of sighs and pants as Trace built me higher and higher. His lips latched onto my clit, and he sucked gently before pushing two fingers inside me. It was all too much and yet not enough all at once. I needed more, I wanted everything, but I was powerless but to enjoy the ride that he was taking me on.
“Trace,” I panted as I started to feel that sensation in my body climbing higher and higher. Begging for the inevitable release that I knew was about to absolutely devastate me.
“That’s my girl,” Trace crooned. “Let me see you fall apart. Just let go, beautiful girl.”
His words echoed around my mind as my muscles pulled tight. I felt myself balancing on a precipice, and then I was falling as waves of pleasure flooded through my body. By the time I came back to my senses, Trace had my hips pinned to the mattress and a satisfied smirk on his face.
“Beautiful.”
I didn’t have words. I was pretty sure most of my body had stopped functioning, and my brain had gone off-line. I’d never had an orgasm like that before. Not one that made my entire body feel like it was soaring.
My hand came to his cheek as Trace licked his lips, and he turned his head to kiss my palm before climbing off the bed and retrieving a condom from the wallet in his slacks.
“Came prepared, did you?”
“Dex gave it to me the day my divorce was finalized.” He shrugged and I couldn’t help but laugh because I could imagine exactly how that night went.
Trace locked eyes with me and slowly rolled the condom down his length. My laughter dried up, and I unconsciously licked my lips in anticipation.
Trace crawled up the bed until he was hovering over me, staring down into my eyes. I saw a glimpse of something in his eyes, an emotion I didn’t know if I was ready to confront, given our situation.
“Are you sure about this, Delaney?” he asked.
Another sentiment passed between us unspoken. Everything would change once we did this.
I wasn’t ready to think about it. I was too busy lying to myself that this was just a beautiful way for the two of us to have the goodbye we’d never had before.
I didn’t say anything. There was nothing left to say between us. Instead, I hooked one leg around Trace’s hip and drew him to me. My arms wrapped around him, and I kissed him with all the emotion I couldn’t contain inside.
Trace’s cock brushed against my entrance, and then he pushed inside me. My hips rose to meet him, and when he’d sunk as deep as he could go, his forehead dropped to mine as he broke from our kiss.
“You always felt like you were made for me,” he whispered.
For a moment we stayed like that, breathing each other in and just feeling that sense of completeness that could come from nothing else.
“Trace,” I whispered. “Why does it feel so much better than before?”
He slowly pulled out before he slid back inside me again, and I sighed. There was something so much bigger about this situation than any other time we’d been together, and I wasn’t entirely talking about Trace.
The difference between the boy I’d known back then and the man I was with now was vast.
I didn’t want it to stop. If I could pause this moment and live in it forever, then I would. Nothing else existed apart from the two of us and the feeling of him moving inside me. The feelings he was building inside me. It was all so perfect, and for a moment, I felt like I could cry. Because how could a perfect moment like this be at the end? And how would I survive if it wasn’t?
“I need more, Trace. I want…more.”
“I know what you need,” he growled through clenched teeth.
I whined in protest as he pulled free of my body, panicking for a moment that he was about to stop.
But then Trace was moving, and suddenly I was being picked up as Trace somehow settled back, kneeling on the bed as he pulled me into his lap and straight back onto his cock.
My arms wrapped around his neck to steady myself, and I took a moment to revel in how much deeper he felt in this position.
“Ride me, baby,” Trace purred, his lips kissing along my neck and clouding my mind as I tried to resist not luxuriating in the feeling of Trace goddamn Farrington blowing my mind yet again.
We became a flurry of desperate motion as Trace gripped my hips and worked me along his length. My head tipped back as I let myself fall into the motion that built a second orgasm roaring to life inside of me.
“Don’t stop,” I panted as I crept closer to the edge.
“Never,” he swore.
I felt his grip tighten as he leaned forward, and his lips closed over one of my nipples. It was all I needed, the last push to send me over the edge I craved, and I came with a shout.
Trace’s grip tightened to an almost bruising level as he pulled me down onto him once last time with a groan as he came deep inside me.
We both froze, panting and clinging to each other, not wanting the moment to end. The world around me felt softer. I could feel the euphoria lingering inside me, Trace drawing it out as he softly kissed along the length of my neck and across my jaw.
“Every time was perfection with you,” he told me. “But this? How can I ever let you go now?”
I didn’t know what to say. This should be the part when I told him I was leaving, that this was it for us. But even as I thought the words, my arms wrapped around him tighter, and I realized that I was completely unprepared to let him go.
All the hurt, all the devastating memories of what had happened between us, were lost to me. Maybe it was just the amazing sex clouding my judgment, and in the harsh light of morning, I’d be back to myself again.
Or maybe this was my body telling me something my mind wasn’t ready to accept.