Chapter 41
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
TRACE
I t was official. My father had lost his mind. Because there was no other way that he could think having this conversation in front of my son was a good idea.
As Delaney slipped away from the table, an excited Cade following at her side, I turned back to the man who had always seemed so much larger than life to me as a child. Not because he was the life of a party, or filled a room with a happiness that couldn’t survive without him. No. My father had always struck this awe-inspiring image with me, even as a child. I’d always wanted to be like him. He was what I’d thought a man should be. That was until I was old enough to see the cracks in the facade. The areas where he was lacking that I’d been blind to as a child. The most important ones.
“You can’t possibly think that was appropriate.” The coldness in my voice shocked even me. I didn’t sound like the man who’d walked into this house not even an hour before.
“I’m sorry, son. I couldn’t think of any other way to start what we need to discuss.”
I watched him carefully. He seemed like he was sorry, but I’d been fooled by him before.
“She’s gone,” he suddenly blurted out. “And we’re in negotiations about how her return to this family could be possible.”
I rolled my eyes. I was a grown man, but I couldn’t help it.
Of course, he wasn’t going to leave her.
“You know, when Booker told me that you were going to leave her this time, I almost believed him. Got to keep up the family appearances, though, right?”
He winced as the accusation struck him as hard as I’d wanted it to.
“It isn’t like that,” he said quietly, looking like a shadow of the man he’d once been in my eyes. “Your mother and I have both made mistakes. Some days I think that all the troubles we’ve had as a family all fall down to me. I was the first to do wrong. I broke her heart long before she tried to break mine.”
I should probably ask what he was talking about. But the thing was, I didn’t care. It struck me then just how right Delaney had been. There was no making my way out of this situation without therapy, and I was determined to put everything I had into it. I wasn’t going to continue this cycle of hurt and hate that my family had spiraled into. I wouldn’t bring that into the family I was creating for myself.
I stood up from the table, dropping my napkin on the surface as I did.
“Thank you for inviting us today. I appreciate that you did what you could to try to make Cade feel comfortable.” I waved my hand around the food that my father had their cook prepare on the brand-new grill that now sat on the patio. “But I’m taking my family, and I’m not coming back. You’ve made your choice, and that choice doesn’t include me, my son, or the woman I’m going to make my wife someday soon. Goodbye, Father.”
I’d only made it two steps before I heard his chair clatter back onto the patio stone. “Trace, wait!”
The only reason I stopped was because I needed us to say whatever needed to be said right now. I was deadly serious about the fact that I was done with both of my parents.
“I know that what she did?—”
“ You know nothing! ” I shouted. “How can you ever understand what she’s done to me? He’s my son ! And she kept him from me. She stole them away, and then she maneuvered me into a marriage with that evil bitch who made my life miserable for years.”
My father looked confused, but he didn’t ask what I meant. Probably because he didn’t want to know. I doubted there was anything I could say that would make him change his mind about what he wanted to do, anyway.
“Trace, Cade is my grandson, and I would love the opportunity to be in his life.”
“No.”
I started to walk away again, only to be stopped by my father’s hand on my shoulder.
“No?”
I could hear the shock in his voice. It might have been the only time I’d ever stood up to him like this.
“You made your choice, Father. And it was her. You don’t get to have it all. I understand that this will mean that our working relationship is over. To be honest, I doubt I could have continued with it, anyway. I can’t have this in my life anymore. Not after everything. I have no intention of ever forgiving her. So, this is how it’s going to go. Cade and Delaney want to stay in town. They want to build a life here, and I’m grateful that they’d even consider it. So, after today, you don’t talk to them. You see them in the street, you turn around and leave before they can even realize you’re there. If you or Regina even attempt to approach either of them, I will tell everyone absolutely everything. And I don’t just mean about the heinous things you’ve done to me. I mean all of it . Every single piece of dirty laundry our family has tried to hide away will be out on display for the entire town to see.”
“Son, you don’t mean that. I know you’re angry, but she’s your mother.”
“ Angry? Can you even hear yourself? Are you actually trying to persuade me to forgive her? Ten years! I lost ten years with the woman I love. I missed her pregnancy. The birth of my child. His entire life . I want to say that I can’t believe you’d choose her over me, but that’s what you’ve always done. What could you have possibly done that makes you think that throwing away every single one of your sons was worth it?”
My father took a step back then. It was like every word had been a physical blow, and he went pale as he opened his mouth and found that he had absolutely no words to defend himself with.
“I don’t want to lose you all.” My father shook his head, almost like he hadn’t realized that was where this was all heading.
“It’s already done.”
And I left.
There was nothing to keep me here. This house was as cold and cruel as it had always been, and I was a fool to think that coming here would be any different from any other time I’d been dragged back into the fold.
All that mattered was Delaney and Cade. So, I was taking my family, and I wasn’t looking back.
My parents didn’t have anything I needed.
And there was a part of me that wasn’t even sad about that.
I was angry. Really fucking angry. But I wasn’t sad.
I wasn’t losing anything here. There had never been anything here to begin with. So, as I stepped out the front of the house to see Delaney and Cade already waiting by the car, I smiled.
And I was happy.
There was so much standing in front of me, and I couldn’t wait to see the life we’d built together.
“You okay?” Delaney asked as I slipped behind the wheel of the car.
I looked into her beautiful eyes, brushed her hair back behind her ear, and smiled again.
“Yes,” I said, and I meant it. “I think I needed this. I needed to see that there was nothing left here for me. I finally feel…whole.”
Delaney smiled and settled back in her seat as she watched me carefully.
“Can we go and get ice cream?” Cade asked happily from the back seat. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m glad we don’t live here.”
I turned to look at him sitting in the back seat, genuinely wondering what he thought. Most people were impressed by this awful monstrosity of a house.
“Yeah? Why’s that?”
Cade shrugged. “I dunno. It seems sad. I’m glad you live with us and not here. You can be happy with us, Dad.”
He surged forward, wrapping his arms around me, and I clung to him, burying my face in his neck as I did.
Even with the car seat between us, this was the best hug I’d ever had. Because my son had just called me Dad, and finally, everything in the world felt right for the very first time.