Chapter Nine #3
“Are you in trouble because of this? Is she strict about absences?” I pressed. I could go down there right now. I could talk with Margie on her behalf. I could fix this. I could make everything right for her. I wouldn’t rest until it was.
Her golden eyes flicked over to the stove. “I need to add the veggies,” she muttered.
My hand fell away from her, and I took a few steps back, leaning my shoulder against the wall, watching her work. She put an assortment of celery, carrots, and bell peppers into the large pot at the back, stirring it a few times before turning to face me. “No, I’m not in trouble with her, but…”
“But?” I prompted after a few seconds of silence.
She studied me for some time, and I could see the gears in her head turning. “I don’t know if I should tell you this.”
I shoved down the sting. What I wanted didn’t matter.
“You don’t have to tell me anything,” I gently reminded her, shoving down the nickname for her that had slipped out earlier.
She was never supposed to hear that, but again, my body didn’t give a damn what plan my brain had conjured up.
It was on the same page as my sore, bruised heart, and before my story ended, Angel needed to be mine.
However, my logic was strong and didn’t mind waging a war inside me to protect not only her, but me.
“It’s not that I don’t want to. Strangely enough, you’re one of very few people I would feel comfortable telling,” she confessed, wrapping her arms around herself.
Her words slammed into me, nearly knocking me on my ass, and the sting vanished, leaving something else much more potent in its wake.
It rooted itself in my bloodstream quickly, and by my next breath, I knew it would be impossible to yank it out.
There was a large part of me that knew I wouldn’t survive without it, without her.
I’d just been pretending I could be strong.
Suddenly, all the silent promises I made to myself last night vanished, the foundation I’d laid cracking right down the middle.
I looked over to her, taking her in. Her light blue linen pants, her dark blue tank, her bare feet with white toenails.
Her hair, shining in the warm light. Her eyes, a world I’d never known, and would happily spend the rest of my days getting a chance to.
Her words, razor sharp and warm, shredded the last bit of dignity I had.
“Fuck me,” I muttered, pinching the bridge of my nose and pushing off the wall.
I closed the distance between us and took her in my arms, feeling her body against mine as if it were the very first time.
She sucked in a breath, her hands going to my chest, looking up at me, confusion laced in the faint crease of her brow. “Tell me no.”
“What?” she uttered out, panting now.
I turned and started backing her up. “Set a boundary between us. Right here. Right now, Angel.”
“A-a boundary?”
“You set it, and I won’t break it,” I vowed as her back hit the wall. I brought a hand up to cup her face again, my fingers stretching into her hair. “Ever.”
“Ash, what are you doing?” she whispered, eyes wide as mine dropped to her dark pink lips.
“Tell me no,” I growled, her words ringing in my head like an anthem now. “Tell me to stop, that you don’t want this.”
Behind us, the oven dinged, but we were too lost in each other to care.
Her eyes dropped to my lips, hers parting in awe, and electricity bolted through me, searing nearly all of my restraint.
“Say it,” I commanded roughly, dipping my head to hers.
Our foreheads were pressed together, our panting breaths colliding, her heart pounding to the same panicked rhythm as mine. “Tell me no so I can leave.”
“I don’t understand,” she whispered, her cheeks tinting as I put a hand on the wall above her head. “All I said—”
“Haven’t even been in your life for a day, and I’m already going crazy,” I cut her off. “I couldn’t sleep last night, baby. I didn’t want to leave you here by yourself, and when I got here this morning—fuck me, I was devastated to find you gone.”
“You just called me baby.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I fucking did,” I declared, shifting my hand into her hair.
“You’ve been my baby since the moment I found you.
Nothing, no amount of time or distance, has changed that.
You tell me to fuck off right here, and I’ll leave.
I’ll give you the space you demanded of me, but…
” My head snapped up and my neck twisted.
“You have to do it. I’m not strong enough to leave on my own. ”
My cell phone rang, cutting through air like a bullet, threatening to destroy everything between us.
“Fuck,” I pushed out through clenched teeth. I released her, leaving her against the wall, pink, desperate, and panting while I yanked out my phone. I glanced at her. “This is Grayson. If it were anyone else, I wouldn’t—”
“I understand,” she cut me off, nodding.
Fuck, I wanted to kiss her.
Instead, I put the phone to my ear. “Doss. What is it?”
Two minutes later, I was in my truck, turning onto the highway that led to Portland, leaving Astoria and all my unsaid words with Angel behind.