Chapter 18
eighteen
. . .
Reckless
Fourteen years ago
frank hatson
Springtime
He had fallen hard and fast for her, a chemistry neither one of them expected. Frank didn’t believe himself to be someone who would step out of his marriage to Holly, but then again, it certainly wasn’t the first time another woman that wasn’t his wife had caught his eye. He found women to be beautiful creatures that mesmerized him and tortured his soul with their curves, their smiles, the batting of eyelashes that he knew damn well was far from the innocence it pretended to convey.
His own mother had coddled him, which at first he found endearing. As a small boy, her constant praises and unconditional love were the heartbeats of his ego. She was beautiful and beloved by all in their family’s circle, and he felt like a star by proximation.
But she also suffered from restlessness. A pull in her heart to be free from the confines of domestic living as the wife of a local politician.
It was a snowy evening the night she left him and his father, claiming a need to run to the store. His father had warned her it was unsafe. The roads were icy, and he told her whatever it was she needed could wait. Turns out the thing she needed was an escape, and ice wasn’t going to stop her. After two days of her absence, with reassurances from his father that his mother just needed some space, little Frank stole his mother’s abandoned nightgown from beneath her pillow. He’d clutch it to his small chest and cry into it each night, wondering what he had done to make his mother leave.
Her moods could be mercurial, it was true. Winter proved to be the most challenging. She’d fade away into the shadows of her depression, and no matter how many sweet drawings her son created or plates of toast and berries he concocted—his chubby fingers working carefully to not burn himself—nothing could pull her from her darkness other than time.
That snowy winter was the first time he remembered his mother leaving. There would be others. His father always took her back, explaining to his son that a man’s job is to stand by his woman. He wondered why it wasn’t a woman’s job to stand by her man, vowing that one day, he’d find a wife who would.
Which he did, thankfully, and at times Frank felt ashamed at the loyalty his wife so clearly exhibited, when he himself proved to struggle. At times he wondered if his wife had ever cheated too, and he’d carefully monitor her spending, certain he might catch something that looked off. He was sure he would catch her red-handed by way of a hotel bill or repeated phone calls to some unknown number. It should have eased his mind when nothing ever revealed itself. Still, the anxiety of no guarantees threatened his sanity.
And then there was her . The mistress he never planned to take. It was one thing to give in to a momentary attraction now and then. It hardly counted when his loyalties remained firmly to his wife and family, anyone could see that.
But those goddamn eyelashes she had. They batted their way first to his cock, and later to his heart. The first time they made love, he nearly wept at the beauty of it.
Their exchanges had often teetered on flirtatious, the times they’d see one another, always surrounded by party guests and too much champagne. He thought he was imagining it, but there was no mistake in the flush of her cheeks when he’d compliment her dress, or her necklace that was dangling between her breasts, begging to be admired. There was no mistaking the times she joined him out on the patio while he snuck a cigarette, claiming to need some fresh air. They would chat and laugh at the ridiculous new hat so-and-so was wearing, how the hat surely required a town council meeting and permit, ostentatious as it was. He would leave her company with a lasting smile on his face. So beautiful, so easy to talk to, so clearly in admiration of him.
They ran into one another at the club one evening. She was there with some friends, he was catching a quick drink before heading home for the day. He smiled warmly at the table of beautiful young women, offering to pick up their tab, only for them to all laugh and wave him off. The tab was the least of their concerns, as attached to platinum credit cards as they were. When she excused herself to the ladies’ room, he was sure that was his invitation. He followed after her to the dark hallway around the corner. Was there waiting for her as she exited.
You startled me , she said.
He brushed her hair behind her ear, apologizing. She looked at him, eyes unblinking and lips slightly parted, pink and full and inviting. Forgive me , he said. I’d hoped you stay a little longer, have a drink with me.
I don’t think that’s a good idea , she said. He dropped his hand, irritation sweeping through him.
Then he realized, of course it wasn’t a good idea. Too many eyes at the club. They needed to go somewhere else. Someplace private.
His office.
I have something I wanted your opinion on, he said . A marketing campaign that could use a fresh take. You’d be doing me a great favor.
Her gaze dropped to the floor, how adorable she was when trying to play coy!
I’m sure you have other people for that, she said.
Ah, yes. But none with the natural gift for cleverness like you have. The slogan’s not quite right.
My cleverness?
Don’t pretend you don’t know how witty you are. Take a look?
She nodded, making a quick excuse to her friends, leaving the Windsor Montgomery Club with Frank, surely not the first time the club had been a catalyst to sordid affairs.
Once they were in the safe confines of his office, dark and empty after hours, he decided to ease her mind. He imagined she was feeling guilt at their obvious mutual attraction. He made himself a drink. Offered her one. She accepted, and he loved the flush of her cheeks after just a few sips. He would go slowly, feign frustration, lean down for a kiss that doesn’t quite meet her lips. Christ, me and my stupidity, apologies, sweetheart.
It’s alright, she would assure. It’s not just you.
Am I crazy to think there’s something between us?
No, you’re not crazy.
It was all rather perfect.
He turned away then, timing it just right. His back to her, a confession of the challenges of his marriage, the fights he and Holly couldn’t stop having. They were on the brink of divorce, it was only a matter of time. But he was a jackass, he shouldn’t be burdening such a sweetheart with all of his miseries.
When he felt her hand on his shoulder in a gentle caress of comfort, he knew he was in for it. She didn’t just feel attraction toward him, but she cared for him, too .
He started slowly, kissing her temple, first. Just one gentle kiss. Then her cheekbone. The tip of her nose. The soft flesh beneath her ear, and his kisses continued down her neck, her breath hitching with each contact. He was a skilled lover, knowing just which spots to give attention, and she was aroused as a result. All from his touch.
When his lips finally made their way to hers, she eagerly returned his kiss. He savored the moment, tasting her sweetness like a succulent cherry to be cherished.
A stroke of his thumb over her nipple, taught beneath her dress. His hand slipped down to the hem, and he lifted it one tortured inch at a time, the silkiness of her thighs causing his erection to grow with each passing second. His cock nearly burst through his zipper as he pushed her panties aside, his fingers making their way through her slick heat. She was soaked, all because of him. He didn’t enter at first, choosing to gently circle instead, her hips grinding into him and her grip tightening on his shoulders. Please, she whispered. Oh, God, please .
Yes, sweetheart. That’s my girl. Be patient.
Please, more. I need more.
He rewarded her by slipping his fingers inside, groaning at the feel of her, so tight around him. He could only imagine what it would feel like when his cock finally entered her.
Fuck, she whispered. My God, that feels so good.
I want to fuck you, sweetheart. Please tell me I can fuck you.
Her eyes were closed, head held back as she bathed in her pleasure. Yes. No. I don’t know.
Yes, you do. It’s alright. He quickened his movements, relentless as he worked her.
I need you, she cried . I need more.
He wouldn’t make her wait. Partly out of fear of her stopping him, partly out of his own greed. He cleared his desk and gently laid her back down on top, pressing his hips into hers so she could feel his arousal for her. He pushed her dress up past her breasts, using his mouth to shove her bra below, exposing her beautiful pink nipples to him. He kept his fingers inside her as he maneuvered his mouth over one peak, swirling his tongue and delighting at the gasp she made with every move.
He pulled away from her to undo his pants, working fast to keep her in the moment. He stroked himself, his fingers wet with her arousal, leaving him nearly trembling with the feel of her slickness along his throbbing cock. Look what you do to me, sweetheart. You feel this? he asked, taking her hand and wrapping it around his cock. That’s what your pussy does to me, that wetness is all from you, you feel that?
She remained silent, only whimpering and rocking her hips, begging him to enter her. He placed the head of his cock at her opening, the heat radiating was maddening. This was it, this was the moment.
With one push, he entered her completely, covering her mouth at the startled cry she let out. A virgin, his sweetheart had been a virgin, and she willingly gave herself to him. He placed his mouth on her breast, wanting to comfort her, seeing the tears in the corners of her eyes. He sucked and teased her perfectly pink nipples as he began gentle strokes, her pussy tightening around him.
It was beautiful. She was beautiful. When her whimpering cries of discomfort subsided, he quickened his pace, holding onto her hips and losing himself as he buried himself deep, as deep as he could go. She lay slack beneath him, but he couldn’t slow down. It was too much, she was too much, and she had captivated him to depravity. He was helpless to her.
When he shot inside her, he thought he’d entered another dimension. She was so incredible and pure, and now she was his.
She had given him a gift, his sweetheart, and deserved pleasure, and he’d be sure to give it to her. When he pulled out from her and she began to rise, propping herself on her elbows, he told her he wasn’t done. That now it was her turn.
He was going to show her what it was like when a man worshipped her. He placed his mouth over her sex, working in skilled strokes with his tongue until her legs gripped tightly against his arms. When she trembled beneath him, begging for him to stop, that it was too much, he continued. Wait, oh my God, she cried. Oh my fucking God. I can’t. I think…fuck. Holy fuck I’m going to…
He pressed on, fucking her with his mouth until her body convulsed, beautifully unraveling as he tasted every last drop of her arousal, mixed with himself. This beauty that met her pleasure with his touch.
With one final flick of his tongue, he released her, then hovered over top of her to take in her startled expression. You’re so beautiful, he soothed . You came so beautifully, sweetheart, did you feel that?
I felt it, she said, and he kissed her so she could taste herself and the love they just shared.
Frank, she said.
Yes, sweetheart? He loved the startled look in her eyes, the disbelief and innocence and fear, combined with the flush of her cheeks, her pussy swollen with pleasure from his ravishing.
We can’t tell anyone about this, she said. He could hear the worry in her voice, creeping in as the reality of what they had just done settled in.
Shh , he soothed. It’ll be alright. No one will know. No one will ever know, it’s just between us.
Which, of course, was a lie, these things inevitably come out. One reckless evening when he was caught with his pants around his ankles and his sweetheart on her knees. A party guest wandering in, nosy in their curiosity to explore the rest of the house. A quick scramble to dress, a pull of Holly’s arm, instructing him to get Desiree, that they had to leave, now .
But that night in his office was how Frank began his affair with his mistress. A girl of eighteen.
Jacqui Carlisle.