Chapter 36
‘Do you have time for a coffee before your train?’
After the dress fitting, they all went for brunch at a nearby restaurant. The food was amazing and Rosie only cried a little bit, and Kate only flashed her nipple once at a passing waiter by mistake while doing a feed. All in all, it had been a success.
The group had disbanded then, Kate saying goodbye to Emma’s friends and family and Rosie being passed around for final cuddles. Emma and Leonie insisted on accompanying Kate and Rosie back to the train station and helped her navigate the pram on and off the Tube. Now it’s just the three of them plus Rosie, who is snoring in the pram after the excitement of the day.
Kate glances at the clock. ‘I’ve got time.’
‘Good. Because we’re not ready to say goodbye to you just yet,’ says Leonie.
‘Let me push!’ says Emma, taking the pram from Kate and striding off towards Pret. Leonie links arms with her and squeezes her elbow. For a moment, it’s as though nothing has changed.
Once they’ve got their coffees and are crowded around a little table with space for the pram, Kate takes a sip of her coffee. ‘Sorry again about vomit-gate. I’m still mortified.’
Emma tosses her hair back and laughs. ‘Vomit-gate! Seriously, don’t worry about it. It’s all good.’
‘And I’m sorry I reacted so badly when you told me about the trip. I guess I just hate the thought of not being included in things. For ages, it’s been the three of us. I don’t want to get left behind.’
Emma and Leonie share a look. Leonie is the first to speak. ‘But, Kate, that’s exactly what we’ve been worried about too. Ever since you announced you were pregnant, we’ve been so happy for you – I mean, how could you not make the cutest baby ever? – but then you told us you were moving too …’
‘And we do get it,’ chips in Emma. ‘You wanted more space and to be close to your family. And Farleigh-on-Avon is so cute. But we’re still here. And we miss you.’
‘I miss you too,’ she manages to get out. ‘I think I haven’t let myself acknowledge quite how much because I know that I was the one who chose all this. But it doesn’t mean I don’t miss you.’
‘You are happy you moved, though? It was the right choice?’
Kate pictures her little cottage that might be a mess and not at all like the Pinterest board she made for herself when she moved but that is still hers, with its garden full of flowers and an apple tree that will make the perfect spot for a swing and maybe a treehouse when Rosie is older. She thinks of the river bordered by reeds and bluebells.
‘I’m getting there. But yes, I think it’s where I need to be for this stage of my life. I loved my time in London, but I think now it was maybe just one chapter, not the whole story. But my life will always have you both in it. I don’t want us to lose what we have.’
‘Babe,’ says Leonie, placing a hand over Kate’s, ‘you can’t get rid of us just because you had a baby.’
‘Yeah, it would take more than that.’
‘Like my daughter ruining your wedding dress?’
They share a laugh. ‘Seriously, chill, Kate. The dress is fine. We’re fine.’
‘How can we make sure you still feel included even if you’re not here?’ asks Leonie.
Kate thinks about it for a moment. ‘I’d like to still be invited to things, even if I can’t make them. I might have to say no to a lot of things for a while. But one day I’ll be able to say yes again. And when that happens, I guess I just want to feel I can jump back in rather than feeling I’m on the outside of things.’
‘We can do that.’
‘And how about you two? What can I do to make you feel less like I’m leaving you behind?’
It breaks her heart to even think it.
‘How about we try to have a regular video call once every couple of weeks?’ suggests Emma. ‘Even if we all end up being busy and can’t make it, it would just be nice to at least try to have a regular catch-up.’
‘I think that’s a great idea.’
Kate’s phone pings, telling her the platform number for her train. ‘I better go.’
They squeeze each other tightly, and as Kate holds them for a final time before heading back to her new life in Somerset, she thinks about how much has changed but how much is still the same too. These women and how much she loves them … That is never going to change.