24. Wilder
24
Wilder
I make it back to the office in time to catch Emily leaving.
Our teams line the hall, a line of farewells and cheers as Emily walks through with Teddy beside her. She’s beaming as she clutches the ridiculously sized bouquet, but his eyes are suspiciously bright.
I stay back, against the wall as Teddy starts the clapping.
But she spots me. Emily passes the bouquet to Teddy and nudges her way through to me.
I swallow. “Sorry I wasn’t there today, Em. I hope you have an amazing retirement. You’ve earned it.”
Emily sighs. And I close my eyes as she wraps her arms around me, squeezing me.
“You’re going to be a wonderful mate, Wilder Quill. Fallon is a very lucky girl – and you’re a lucky alpha.”
My eyes fly open. “How—.”
Emily pats my shoulder. “Because I know everything .”
She really does.
Fox catches my eye. He tilts his head in silent question, but I shake mine.
I’ll wait for them at home. Even now, Fallon’s scent is a faint echo from her presence today. My guts twists, squeezes as I turn and make a swift exit.
I can’t fuck this up.
But I have a plan.
***
“This is a terrible plan.” Rowan’s face is a reflection of the whole pack as he stares at me. We’ve finished dinner, Teddy regaling us with everything new he and Rowan learned about our mate today. The three of us have hung on his every word as I tried not to get too jealous over the fact that they’ve all at least met my mate.
And I had to stay away. “You’re going to make yourself ill, Wilder.”
Fox pulls the packet toward him, inspecting the back as his lips press together. “I agree with Rowan. Hormone blockers aren’t a solution, Wild.”
“I’ll lose it the first time I see her.” I tug the tablets out of his hands. “I don’t like it either. But if I take these the first time we meet, take a bath in enough de-scenter that it burns my damn nose, then hopefully I can avoid mauling her before we actually get to have a damn conversation.”
That’s my only hope. A combination of rut-blockers and bleach.
Wonderful.
Teddy glances between us. “I think she’s sturdier than you realize. She can handle this. She even knows about your feral side, and she didn’t care .”
Fox gives him a narrow-eyed glare at that. But I’m glad he warned her, just in case.
“It’s not that,” Zeke says quietly. “I don’t like this either, but she doesn’t know we’re her scent-matches. If Wild loses it at the start then she’s going to know before lunch on the first day.”
“But why is that a problem?” Teddy presses. He shakes his head. “This is a good thing.”
“Not when we still don’t know her circumstances.” I grip the neck of my beer, my knuckles tightening until I force myself to release them. “I don’t want to force her into something she might not be ready for, Teddy.”
He folds his arms, throwing himself back in his chair with a mutter that sounds awfully like damned stubborn alphas . “So you’re going to self-medicate? That shit will fuck you up.”
“Just for the first day.” My eyes move to Fox, pleading. “I think I can manage after that. But the first time… we only get that once, Fox.”
He hesitates. And then he sighs. “First day only. Whatever happens after that, we’ll deal with it.”
“But you said it,” Rowan points out. “You only get this once, Wilder. You’ll be lucky if you even remember it.”
But I won’t traumatize her. Won’t drag her off somewhere. Won’t cage her in until my teeth can sink into her neck.
“It’s not about me,” I say finally. “She’s the priority.”
Fallon.