Chapter 7
Lily lifted her face to the sun, easing her aching back and legs. The constant riding was tiring, and she had discovered sore spots in surprising places all over her body. Although, she thought, hiding a smile, there could be other reasons for her tenderness.
Last night they had camped on a sheltered hillside.
Radulf had taken Lily to his tent, his arms all the warmth she needed as they lay together in the darkness.
He treated her as if she were as necessary to him as food and water.
Already her body had learned his so well that merely standing close to him caused a tremor of anticipation, her nipples hardening, warm moisture pooling between her thighs.
And Radulf felt it, too, she was certain of that.
She looked up now, sensing his eyes upon her, and noticed that he had indeed turned his head to seek her out. His expression might be deeply shadowed beneath his helmet, but she knew the emotion that would shape it.
Desire. Need.
Radulf wanted her.
Lily understood completely, for she wanted him, too.
She sighed and shifted uneasily in her saddle.
How could she have allowed the Norman into her blood?
It was madness to want such a man! It was not safe to want any man.
Lily’s beloved father had died making war.
Her childhood sweetheart had betrayed her for his own ambition.
In her albeit limited experience, she had found men such as Radulf were not to be relied upon.
Not to be trusted. Certainly she had never meant to get this close to one of them.
Especially not an enemy!
Radulf was a man of pride and honor, a Norman lord sworn to obey his king.
Yet he was also a man of contrasts, light and dark, much more complex than the tales about him had led her to believe.
Intellectually and emotionally, Lily found the combination of strength and vulnerability, of mastery and humor, irresistible.
Physically, her body craved his as parched ground craved water.
She was caught in a terrible bind. She was tied by the fiery ropes of desire to a man who, if he knew her true identity, would be required to hand her over to his king. Already two days had passed, and with each hour that crept by, they drew closer to Rennoc. And to discovery.
Radulf had slowed their pace after the first day.
They dawdled, stopping often, enjoying the fine weather. When Lily asked Radulf why he was in no hurry to reach Rennoc, he laughed and bent closer, his warm breath sending tingles over her skin.
“Need you ask, lady? Or do you look for flattery?”
Lily lifted her chin proudly. “If I did not need to ask, my lord, I would not.”
His finger brushed her cheek. Her pride seemed to amuse him. “ ’Tis you who keeps me from my duty, mignonne.”
Lily’s gray eyes had searched his, discovering the truth of what he said. Pleasure warmed her.
Her lips curved into a teasing smile, but her words contained more than a hint of tartness.
“And how many days have you set aside for this distraction, my lord? And will you put me from your mind when they are passed?”
They were questions Radulf had been asking himself, and still he did not know the answers.
“That depends, Lily,” he murmured, and made himself return her smile. “You are pensive today.”
Lily turned away, watching a hawk, solitary above a rocky crag. “I am thinking of Rennoc,” she said.
He rode beside her in silence, his eyes on the perfection of her profile, the soft wisps of fair hair that had escaped their braid to dance about her face.
She was like no other woman he had ever known.
Such beauty should mean a certain vanity, an expectation of men’s besottedness, but Lily acted as if she was unaware of her looks.
There was no coyness about her, nothing flirtatious.
If he had met her anywhere else but hiding in Grimswade church, Radulf would have been tempted to trust her.
But the circumstances of their meeting and his instant attraction, as well as his past experience, made him suspicious and wary.
It was only when they lay together that he was able to abandon such suspicions.
“Tell me of your father.”
The suddenness of his question surprised Lily, but she didn’t let it show. The hawk had dived, vanishing behind some scrubby trees, but she kept watch for its return.
“Edwin of Rennoc is kind but firm, a good father and a good vassal.”
“And are you a good daughter?”
Lily smiled. “Of course.”
“Obedient?”
“Yes.”
“Loving?”
“Yes.”
“Truthful?”
Lily glanced at him, still smiling. “Why do you question me, my lord? Do you intend listing my shortcomings to him?”
Radulf frowned. “I would not dare, lady. It is you who should list my shortcomings. I have treated you with far less honor than you deserve.”
Surprised, Lily saw repentance in his eyes, but a certain arrogance, too. “Do you mean you are sorry for taking me to your bed, or sorry for the way in which it happened?”
“You were a maid.”
“I was widowed, so how could you know I was still a maid?”
“I should have known it.” His look was wry.
“Truth to tell, Lily, I was too hot for you even then. And no, I am not sorry for taking you to my bed, only sorry that it was done so rashly.”
“Nay,” she whispered, reaching out to rest her hand lightly against his thigh. “There was a fire between us, and neither of us could have doused it in any other manner.”
He looked down at her hand, and Lily felt his already hard muscles tense. She had spoken in the past tense but they both knew the fire had not been doused. The flames were as bright as ever.
“What will happen when we reach . . . when I am home?” she asked softly, and then wondered why she asked. She knew what would happen.
Radulf would end it. But she wanted to pretend a little longer, fool herself that she really was Edwin of Rennoc’s daughter, and Radulf was taking her home.
Then she could ask herself if his desire was strong enough for him to consider keeping her by him.
Or would he visit her, when his duties permitted, riding swiftly to Rennoc to bed her and leaving an hour later?
Lily shivered. She did not want that. If she were to complete her fantasy as she really wished, then Radulf would be with her always.
But that was madness. An impossibility. A child might believe in such things, but Lily was no child. She desired Radulf, yes, but she must not give in to it, for if she did he would destroy her.
“What will happen when we reach Rennoc?”
Radulf repeated her question, and answered it. “I know not, Lily.”
“My lord!”
Radulf turned as Jervois pulled his mount to a rattling halt. The animal looked as if it had been ridden hard, and the young captain reined in closely beside Radulf to murmur his news. The two men spoke a moment, their expressions serious.
Lily watched them curiously.
Radulf was now gazing between his horse’s ears, frowning, deep in his own thoughts. Jervois had dropped back. When Radulf had still not spoken after several minutes, Lily ventured curiously,
“Something concerns you, my lord?”
Radulf shot her an impenetrable look. “There is always a need for concern, Lily. And caution. In all things.”
A tingle ran down her spine. Was he giving her a warning? He was suddenly so distant. What had Jervois told him?
Lily twisted around to look at the other man, but his face was also closed, no more readable than Radulf’s.
Lily turned in time to see Radulf’s broad back as he spurred his horse into a gallop, riding up the line to the front of the column.
As if by some prearranged signal, Jervois moved to take his place.
“Has something happened?” Lily asked him, not expecting a proper answer. “You have been away.” She had noticed Jervois’s absence since yesterday but had not thought to ask where he was— Would they have told her anyway?
“My lady?” Jervois raised his blond eyebrows in surprise. “I have been . . . solving a puzzle, but now everything is going as planned.”
“You are not afraid of attack?”
Jervois considered her. “It would be foolish indeed to attack such a well-prepared band of men, lady.”
“Nevertheless, Lord Radulf does not relax his vigilance?”
Jervois smiled, the tension smoothing from his face until he looked suddenly very young. Almost as young as Lily herself. “No, lady, he does not relax. That is what makes him such a good soldier. He trusts nothing and no one.”
Another warning?
Lily had come to believe suspicion was part of Radulf’s nature, and not just in the execution of his duties. Radulf was not a man who gave of himself easily; he guarded his emotions as closely as he guarded her.
And yet he had made love to her as if he were starving.
But none of this altered the fact that she must escape before they reached Rennoc. The truth would be out as soon as she rode through Rennoc’s gate.
The soldiers guarding her had increased their watchfulness. For every step Lily’s mare took, there were now several soldiers right beside her.
Grim-faced and eagle-eyed, they did not allow her out of their sight.
How could she possibly elude so many men?
Lily’s tension increased, her neck and shoulders beginning to ache.
Her gray eyes were underlined with faint shadows of tiredness as she constantly searched the surrounding countryside for a way out.
They stopped again at midday, but this time when Radulf sought her out it was not to drag her off into the woods and make love to her. Instead he caught her chin in his fingers, turning her face for his perusal, a frown that might have terrified any other woman drawing down his dark brows.
“You should have told me no last night,” he murmured. “You needed your rest.”
Lily laughed shakily. “My lord, I did not wish to tell you no,” she mocked.