Chapter 14
Seated upon Alice’s docile gelding with her cloak wrapped tightly about her, Lily could have been any York housewife making her way home after staying too late at the house of a friend or relative.
Or she might be taken for a foolish young maiden keeping a secret assignation.
The last was not far from the truth, except that it was not her assignation.
It had been much easier than she thought. Alice’s clothing fit her well enough, although Una had had to lower the hem, which left a narrow band of a deeper color. But the men didn’t notice that; they rarely looked at a woman’s feet. Jervois had called a farewell, but Lily had ignored him.
Radulf had not spoken at all, and although she had been sure she felt two burning holes in her back where his eyes were fixed, everything had gone to plan.
A splatter of rain rattled upon the road and a droplet splashed against her cheek.
The servant, his tangled beard and long hair proclaiming his non-Norman origins, ran before her, perfectly comfortable in his role as guide.
He had listened with eyes averted as Lily told him where he was to take her. “I know it, lady,” he had assured her.
Lily had smiled her thanks and felt a stab of pity for the man. There was an ugly brand on his cheek, which had puckered the skin and scarred him badly. Such cruel marks were the Normans’ way of accounting for their property.
If Radulf should discover her, she would not allow him to punish this poor man.
This excursion was her idea and hers alone.
Not that she expected to be caught. All she had to do was wait for Radulf, watch his meeting with Lady Anna, and then .
. . Well, then she would most probably go back to the inn and sob herself to sleep. But at least she would know.
She shivered suddenly in the damp air. The warm day had stirred up a storm that brought early darkness.
It still hung about the city, rumbling bad-temperedly, with the occasional flash of lightning.
She might regain her bed tonight soaked to the skin, but at least the bad weather ensured the streets were empty .
. . and safe. Lily and her servant met not a single soul as they traversed York.
Several times tonight, Lily had asked herself why she was doing this. Why was she putting herself, and possibly others, in danger of Radulf’s retribution? The answer was simple and always the same: she had to know. Whatever the cost.
“Here ’tis, lady,” the servant mumbled. He flicked a sideways glance toward a curving lane, its edges hidden by shadows.
At the far end squatted a small building—the chapel.
A providential flash of lightning showed a closed door and dark windows.
All was still and silent. Lily turned the horse down the lane, just as thunder roared above them and the heavens opened in flood.
Lily bent forward to murmur soothing words to the gelding as she glanced quickly about, searching for a good vantage point.
A deserted wooden cottage looked promising—there were many such places in York, left to rot by those fleeing from various waves of invaders.
The rain poured down upon Lily and she wiped a hand across her eyes, blinking, blinded.
If she did not find shelter soon she would be drowned, she thought irritably. The servant had followed her, his thin shoes sinking in the mud, and now stood at her side, muttering English curses. Shielding her face, Lily dismounted and pulled the gelding through the cottage doorway.
The air there was heavy with decay, the smell of abandoned hope. The roof thatch had partially fallen in and the rain hammered down.
Lily found what shelter she could, the servant huddling close by. His face was a white blur in the darkness, and although Lily was not afraid, he was. She felt his fear, acrid and cold, when he brushed against her shoulder in the confined space.
“You can go home now,” she shouted above the rain. “Or better still, go back to the inn and find Una. She will feed you while you wait for my return. Then you may escort your lady home.”
He hesitated, plainly torn between what he knew was his duty, and his terror at being in such a place and the consequences it might bring down upon him.
“Go,” Lily insisted, touching his arm gently. “I do not need you now.”
When the servant had gone, stumbling over some fallen timbers in his haste, Lily stood alone and listened to the rain. She was truly on her own now. Just as she had been on her own before Grimswade. Hiding, running, a vixen pursued by hounds; alone, abandoned, in a changing world.
Standing there now in the summer storm, Lily felt as if nothing had really changed. Radulf might never have been. A dream, that was all it was.
Slowly the rain began to ease. It must be near Compline now, she decided, just as a frog started up a noisy song nearby. The gelding trembled, and as Lily reached to soothe him, she caught the sound of horses’ hooves, coming closer.
Her heart pounding, she moved to peer through a dark split in the wall, but all she could see was the white cloud of her own breath.
The horses had drawn to a halt at the head of the lane, and she could hear the faint shout of voices, of instructions given.
And then a single horse clattered out of the streaky darkness, slowing as it approached the chapel.
It circled cautiously as its rider surveyed his surroundings.
He was tall, made bulky with his chain mail, and his head was otter sleek because of the steel helmet.
Radulf. Lily knew it by his spare, confident movements as much as by the size and shape of him.
He was as familiar to her as herself. She pressed her palms against the damp wood on either side of her peephole, and heard the soft groan of unstable timbers.
Alice’s gelding, hearing and smelling the other horses, whickered softly.
“Hush,” Lily murmured. “Soft now.”
More sounds, more horses approaching, a sharp whinny.
Lily stiffened and watched as Radulf turned to face the new arrivals.
At the head of the lane there came the deadly scrape of swords leaving their scabbards, and then a female voice cried out, “Hold!” A moment later a lone rider passed Lily’s cottage, moving to join Radulf.
That it was a woman was plain enough, despite the all-covering cloak and hood. As she reached Radulf she tossed back her hood and for a moment was lit up by a flicker of distant lightning. It was Anna, and she was smiling.
“Radulf!” she cried, her melodious voice shot through with triumph. Lady Anna’s mount tossed its head uneasily, but she urged it closer to Radulf’s stallion. “I knew you would come!”
“Aye, I am here.” Radulf’s husky voice was more difficult to hear.
Lily’s eyes widened. He did not sound like a lover. There was anger in his voice, and steel.
Something like hope stirred within Lily, her breath quickening as she pressed closer to the wall.
Lady Anna looked up at the sky, from which soft rain still fell. “Is the chapel open?”
“It appears not, but there will be shelter by the wall.” Radulf dismounted, and reached up to help her down. She leaned into his arms, her body sliding against his as her feet touched ground. Radulf stepped back so quickly she all but fell, her hand going to his arm and fastening there.
She laughed. “You could not stay away, my Radulf,” she said, still supremely confident. “You remember, just as I do. I have never forgotten.”
Radulf stared down at her, and Lily could see how stiff his shoulders had become, how straight his back. She ached with his tension, his pain. Did he struggle against the need to pull the Lady Anna into his arms? To kiss her fiercely and wildly and make up for all the years they had lost?
Hope dwindled once more.
“There is shelter over here,” he said, and turned toward the chapel.
Anna’s hand slipped from his arm and hung a moment in space, irresolute; then she followed meekly to the place beneath the eaves.
They moved together, the shadows joining them, concealing them.
Their voices were now too low to be heard, for the rain had grown heavy again, drumming furiously on the roof.
Lily groaned in frustration. With all that she had done, now she could not hear what they were saying! Yet was there any need to hear, when Radulf leaned so close to Anna and her face was turned up to his, her body seeming to quiver with need?
They had been lovers and would be again.
Lily’s marriage would be an empty sham, just as it had been with Vorgen. But worse, because all she and Radulf had was desire, and when that desire began to fade—it might have done so already— Lily would have nothing. Anna held his heart and had no intention of releasing it.
After what seemed a long time, Lady Anna moved away from the wall.
She walked toward her mount with a quick, hurrying step and even before Radulf could follow her, was reaching toward the saddle.
He caught her up and tossed her easily into her seat.
She clung there, head bowed, obviously under the influence of some great emotion.
“You say you have never forgotten,” Radulf said, raising his voice above the rain. “I wish to God I could!”
There was agony in his words, and it twisted inside Lily. Her hands fell limp to her sides. If Radulf loved the woman so much, so unbearably, then there truly was no hope. She must accept that he would never be hers.
Anna lifted her head and stared at the man at her side, and then she snatched up the reins.
She said something too low for Lily to hear.
A vow perhaps, a promise for tomorrow? And then Radulf also spoke, but now the rain was much too heavy and his words were inaudible. He seemed to speak for a long time.