Chapter 8 #3
Leander thought about the rules. About the look on her face when she said, "When this is over, we part on good terms.” The careful, practical way she had constructed the terms of her own protection was because she had learned, presumably through extensive experience, that no one else was going to construct them for her.
"Yes," he said. And meant it in a way that surprised him slightly.
Anthony nodded and said nothing further, which was somehow worse than if he had spoken.
Benjamin reappeared between them, sliding his small hand into Leander's without preamble or announcement, as he sometimes did.
Leander looked down at the top of his head and felt the familiar complicated warmth of it — the responsibility of it, the weight of Anthony's quiet trust in handing him this child's affection as though it were something Leander had earned.
Henry would have liked her.
The thought arrived without warning and landed squarely.
He had not thought about Henry in those terms before, not in relation to a person.
But it was true — Henry, who had seen the good in everyone before they had managed to show it themselves, who had told Leander at fifteen that he would be a fine Duke one day and had meant it with a sincerity Leander had not known what to do with — Henry would have seen Miss Julia Norish standing in a broken-down carriage on a Mayfair street, squaring up to a Duke twice her size, and he would have laughed with delight.
Leander looked at the house.
I haven't forgotten, he told his friend silently. I'm still going to find it.
But tonight, he was going to dinner. And Miss Julia Norish was going to be at the table. And he found, against all reasonable expectation, that he was looking forward to it.
He chose not to examine that too closely.
Later that day, Julia returned to her room to prepare for dinner.
Poppy had decided to go with their aunt to have afternoon tea in the orangery, where the Duke had several exotic flowers exhibited on display, so she had a little time to herself before she was expected downstairs again. She fell onto her bed and sighed.
It had been an exceedingly long day so far, and she was sure that dinner wouldn’t be any less exhausting now that the news of her association with the Duke of Pridewell was spreading.
Most of the guests were still scandalized by their very presence, so she was sure that in the wake of her snatching up the most eligible bachelor of the Season, there would be plenty of vitriol directed their way for the rest of the week.
Hopefully, the Duke was right, and their father would show his face sooner rather than later.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.
Assuming it was a servant of some sort, or perhaps Poppy here to fetch something, she bade the person enter without thinking, then sat up in alarm as the tall figure of the Duke emerged into the room.
He had changed out of his wet clothes from earlier and was now wearing a fetchingly embroidered dinner jacket, which contrasted nicely with his hazel eyes.
“Good afternoon. I hope I’m not disturbing you.”
“Not at all,” she said, “although I do wonder if you’re still following me, given I only arrived back at my room a few moments ago.”
“Just observing,” he joked with a small smile. “I needed to ensure nobody would happen upon us while we’re talking, after all.”
“Are you here to discuss our arrangement, then?” She motioned to the chair beside her dressing table.
His eyes made her feel skittish, and she was very aware that they were alone in her bedchamber, but he made no move to get any closer, for which she was grateful.
He sat down in the chair and put his elbows on his knees, folding his hands and meeting her gaze evenly.
“You said you had some rules for me.”
“Indeed,” she said. “There are only two, at least from my perspective. Firstly, as you know, we discussed the fact that there will be a scandal at the fallout of this courtship. While I am willing to accept some share of the blame, if necessary, I need to be sure that no further harm will befall my sister through my reputation. I also need to ensure that you don’t make me appear untrustworthy or compromise me in any way, because I intend to seek employment after this,” she paused, letting out a shaky breath.
He looked at her steadily. "You seem uncertain of this plan? Why make it?"
“Because my Lord, when I am once again a spinster, I will need to maintain whatever is left of my reputation in order to find a position.”
He looked at her quizzically. “But why work at all?”
She shrugged self-consciously. “You know my situation. It’s not as though I have a line of suitors waiting.
Once I manage to secure a marriage for Poppy and she no longer needs me, it’s best that I leave town and find a nice family to work for.
I don’t want to live off of her generosity, or my aunt’s, forever. ”
“But your dowry,” the Duke pointed out. “Surely that would be enough for you to live on, if you wanted to.”
“Perhaps,” Julia replied. “But, I don’t know that I could remain idle for the rest of my life without a husband or a family of my own to occupy me.
I need something to keep my mind busy, so working as a governess or a teacher somewhere in the countryside would be a perfect situation.
It’s been my plan for a while, actually - even before this mess with my father started, ever since I became a spinster in the eyes of Society. ”
The man before her was silent for a moment, and his eyes burned with curiosity. When he spoke, it was in a low and questioning tone. “Why haven’t you ever married, Miss Norish?”
Julia tilted her head. “Not all women are destined for marriage.”
“I didn’t ask about all women, I asked about you.”
“Last time I checked, I am in fact a woman,” she replied evasively.
He simply gave her a look, and she sighed.
"It isn't that I am opposed to marriage on principle," she said, more carefully this time.
"I understand its value. If I were married, my sister and I would not be in this situation — a husband's protection would have meant my uncle's ultimatum held no power over us at all.
" She paused, looking out at the garden rather than at him.
"I am not naive enough to pretend otherwise. "
"Then why?" he asked.
She was quiet for a moment. When she spoke again, her voice was even, but there was something underneath it — not bitterness exactly, but the particular weariness of someone who had thought about this a great deal and arrived somewhere honest.
"Because for as long as I can remember, I have been under the power of a man who did not deserve it," she said.
"My father held every decision over our heads without ever making a good one.
My uncle holds the roof over our heads and reminds us of it daily.
And marriage—" She stopped. "Marriage would simply mean exchanging one master for another, and I have spent enough of my life being managed by men who see me as a convenience rather than a person.
" She glanced at him briefly. "At least as a spinster, the limitations are ones I understand.
They are predictable. I know exactly what I have and what I don't."
"And that is enough for you," he said. It wasn't a challenge. Just a question, asked quietly.
She turned to look at him fully, then, with the directness she had deployed when she had decided to stop being careful. "It was," she said. "Until recently, it was quite enough."
He nodded thoughtfully, and she seized the chance to probe a little further into the enigma before her. “What about you? Why haven’t you ever married, Your Grace? I’m sure you’ve had plenty of opportunities and dozens of willing candidates.”
He shrugged. “Not all men are destined for marriage either.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Truly? That’s your answer?”
“Fine. I suppose I’ve simply had other priorities,” he said with a small smile. “Does that satisfy your curiosity?”
“For now.” She fiddled with a stray lock of hair, then smiled at him.
“What?” he prompted.
“We now come to my second condition,” she replied. “When all of this is over, we must part on good terms, no matter what.”
The Duke’s eyebrows raised faintly, and Julia was highly satisfied in that she had been able to surprise him.
“You wish to remain friends?”
“Hmm…” She contemplated that notion. “I am not sure I imagined us ever becoming friends, Your Grace. All I seek is a smooth, amicable fracture in our ruse. We need not bear ill will toward one another when it concludes.”
“I bear you no ill-will, Miss Norish, and I would indeed appreciate the honor of retaining your friendship.”
His response was extraordinary. Before, he had struck her as being a bit difficult to read.
But now, he was making statements that were filled with such genuine affection and reliability that she nearly swayed on the spot.
His eyes were filled with warmth and admiration, rather than mocking, and she had to inhale deeply to regain her composure.
But what the Duke said had got Julia thinking, though, and she was suddenly reminded of something else she had been concerned about. “Oh! I have a third rule, as well.”
“So many.”
“I don’t want my father to end up imprisoned,” she said fervently.
He leaned back, a frown forming across his features.
“Don’t misunderstand me, Your Grace. I know he has done terrible things, and he must return and take responsibility for those he has wronged.
On that much, we fully agree. He must work to pay off his debts to Society and to his family.
But I do not wish to see him harmed or brought to trial for his misdeeds; he should make amends by repairing the damage he’s caused. ”
The Duke’s mouth formed a hard line. “I’ve lost a great deal because of Lord Norish. I’m sure you understand that - you’ve also suffered for his sins.”