Chapter 12 #3
“That’s like looking at someone with depression and telling them to just be happy. It doesn’t really work like that Bellamy. I just don’t like the idea of people seeing me as…” I stop, and he raises his eyebrows.
“As what? The dating type? Or is it the fact that they’ll see you as mine?
Do you think people won’t want to sleep with you after this?
I can promise you that won’t be the case Kamryn,” His voice is a little more pointed than I’ve ever heard it.
His comment somewhat hurts my feelings, but I know he doesn’t mean it the way it sounds.
I press my lips together and sigh, “It’s not that. I just hate the thought of being asked about this, or the thought of people knowing this was all an arrangement. I don’t want other people to think I’ll be making any more lists, or doing any fake dating or… Or anything of the sort.”
He sighs and throws his arm over my shoulder, pulling me into his side.
“No one has to know that it’s fake, or they can.
No one needs to know anything we don’t want them to Ryn.
The best part about all of this, is we’re in control of all of it.
We decide what other people know. I’m sorry for what I said.
You have every right to be nervous about this, I just want you to try let all of it go,” He tucks my hair behind my ear, and grins at me.
“Okay fine, have it your way. I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” I keep my arms crossed, and turn my face away from him, still uneasy about the topic, but wanting to move on from it.
I don’t want to ruin this date, even if it is fake.
“Then I’ll say something else, and we’ll stop talking about it,” I nod, waiting for him to come through on that promise. “You said you didn’t have any siblings right?” I shake my head. “Was that ever lonely?” I shake my head again.
“No, my mom was... Well, she is my best friend. She and my dad are... Honestly, I couldn’t even explain it. They’re just perfect I think.”
I know no matter how hard I try there won’t be words for them. There never has been.
“Are you and your mom not as close anymore?”
“We were inseparable before I left for school. I still talk to her as much as possible. We’re close in different ways now that I’m a few hours away.
It’s just hard when I don’t live in the same house as her.
But she has my dad, and she and my dad are fine on their own, especially with the way they love each other. They’re best friends.”
“You talk about the two of them like they hung the moon,” He’s not accusing me, he’s interested in knowing more.
He’s got a smile on his lips as he says the words.
“Because they did for me. My parents are just normal people to everyone else and that’s fine, but I mean it when I say they really are the best people I’ll know.
They always cared about me and everything I did.
They were the perfect example of a couple growing up.
Mom and Dad had date nights every week while I stayed with Grandma.
He would always take her somewhere new. My mom is always smiling, but she smiles bigger when he walks into the room.
And my dad. He really would do anything for my mom.
She says he’s been that way since before they got married.
He’s been that way since the day he met her,” I relax my body into his, practically melting in his warmth,
“So if you’re parents are just like the movies, then why don’t you think romance is possible in real life?” His question makes me think.
I guess it’s a fair question, one I’ve never posed to myself, but I recognize the answer right away.
“Because they’re the only example in real life that I have.
Besides, my mom told me all the horror stories of her horrible exes too.
Cheaters, narcissists, and assholes. It took her a lot of tries to get it right and find my dad.
Do you know how many Dylans I’m going to have to go through to find a guy like my dad? ” I ask, and he nods to my answer.
“Fair point,” He’s quiet for a second. “When did they meet?” He continues, and I don’t think anyone has ever cared about where I come from besides Sienna.
“My mom was twenty and my dad was twenty four,” I tell him.
“And when did they get married?”
“1995. They had a spring wedding, and it rained all day but my mom didn’t care, neither did my dad. They were happy. My mom always told me rain is lucky on your wedding day.”
“I like how passionate you are about the things you love…”
I feel my cheeks heat up. I look out, noticing how much higher up we are, far too high for my liking.
“You get the same way.”
“Not like you,” He argues back.
“Yes, exactly like me. When you are talking about football, even romance movies you get excited and chatty… You’re the same way.”
“I like what I like,” He replies. “I like running... I like it a lot actually. I like driving home because the ride is nice. I like cats, and I like dogs. I like strawberry milkshakes. I really really like The Notebook, more than even I can comprehend. I think it’s the best movie of all time.
I can’t say I like football because I don’t, I love football. ”
“And what other things do you like besides Romance movies? What other things do you love besides Football?” I question, needing to know the things that make him who he is, just like he’s learning the things that make me who I am.
“I love my sister. Brianne, I’ve told you she’s my best friend.
I visit her once a week. I actually really love cooking, it’s fun, and it’s relaxing.
I like cars. I don’t work on them, I’m not knowledgeable on that, and I don’t have time to be, but my dad loved cars, so I learned a lot about models, and makes, and that kind of stuff.
The Jeep I drive was his, and it was a lot nicer when he drove it.
It’s more loved now. I love my Jeep, that’s another thing.
It’s my prized possession,” He tells me, and I see the way his eyes light up when he talks about his dad. Someone he very obviously looks up to.
“Did your dad play?” I ask, and he nods.
“He was amazing in high school, but he tore his rotator cuff, and that was enough for him to not want to play anymore, but it’s what made him and my mom meet. She was a cheerleader, and he was a football player, the picture perfect couple.”
I think about him, and Leah again, my mind trailing back to his picture perfect cheerleader, and him, the American dream quarterback. My heart stills at the fact that I’m jealous when I have no right to be. I shake the thought.
“Will you keep your Jeep forever?” I ask, and he nods.
“Until the old thing falls apart. Stop interrupting me, let me talk about the things I like,” He pokes fun at me, and I smirk, leaning into his warmth, feeling the vibrations from his chest as his deep voice continues.
“I like music, not as much as you do, but I do like to listen to it no matter what I do. When I’m working out, or when I’m doing school work,” I furrow my brows at him.
“You never listened to music when I tutored you,” I challenge him.
“Because you were teaching me, I was in your space, and you didn’t listen to music when you worked so neither did I.
You didn’t pay much attention to me in Professor Gallen’s class because you were always so focused on him, but I always had an earbud in.
It helps me concentrate,” I hadn’t ever noticed that.
After we would chat before class I wouldn’t turn to him again, I’d keep my eyes on Gallen, and leave before anyone could talk to me.
“What kind of music?” I ask, wanting to hear him talk more.
“I like some of the things you like, Harry Styles and Taylor Swift because of my sister. But I really like a little bit of everything. Rock music, like Foo Fighters, and Metallica. My dad always listened to alternative music. I love Greta Van Fleet, I think my dad would have really liked them too if he was still here. When I work out and play I like to listen to Drake. I listen to country a good bit too.”
I scrunch my nose up to that.
“Country music is good. Chris Stapleton and Kelsea Ballerini are awesome. And don’t forget that Taylor Swift used to be country too, don’t think I’ve forgotten that.
I think if you gave it a chance you might like it,” He nudges me, and I shrug.
“Back to things I like. I like bubble baths, I don’t care what anyone thinks, they’re soothing, and I have a big tub.
I like those Pink Drinks from Starbucks… I like you…”
I look up at him, thinking he’ll be looking down at me right now, but he’s not.
“That was smooth...”
He smirks, shrugging his shoulders once more.
He’s got the perfect lopsided grin. The kind that’s perfect because it’s crooked and imperfect.
He’s pretty when he smiles. He’s pretty when he does anything.
Pretty isn’t the word I’d use when talking about men most of the time.
I’d probably use the exact opposite, but I think it’s the best way to describe him.
.. He’s a pretty person, especially now, at the top of the Ferris wheel.
Washington is behind him, the sunset too.
I can almost place him as a handsome shadow now that the sun is pouring in around him.
“Alright, let’s get this over with,” His tone is full of sarcasm, and I roll my eyes.
He takes a soft hold of my jaw, tilting my chin up, and then letting his hand slide down my exposed throat. He curves his hand around my jawline until his fingers are touching the hair behind my ear.
“Don’t sound too excited,” My lips are dangerously close, almost touching his.
“I can’t have you getting any ideas, can I?” He asks, and then he kisses me again.
Our lips mold together, they fit with one another, and with every move he makes it feels more perfect. There’s no way to be physically closer to him, but god do I wish I was.
It’s hard to think when I’m around Bellamy because every time he kisses me, every time his lips come close to brushing mine it feels like I lose every bit of sense, and knowledge I’ve ever learned.
I break the kiss this time, knowing that my senses are far too jumbled, and we are way too high in the air for that kind of feeling.
“Cross it off the list,” I tell him, an electric feeling still radiating in my stomach after that kiss.
“Already done Ryn,” We settle into each other again, the two of us sitting closely with no intention of moving until we’re back on the ground.