Twenty-four Nasturtium – Impetuous Love
Twenty-four
Nasturtium – Impetuous Love
As I head down to the Merry Mermaid just before eight that same evening I try not to think too much about Ash as I walk. I haven’t been on a proper date in ages, and even though I’d insisted to Amber that it wasn’t really that, and only a catch-up with Ash, I had a feeling she might be more accurate than me with her predictions for the evening.
So as I head down the road towards the harbour and the pub, I allow the other things on my mind to battle for prominence over my thoughts about Ash.
For a start there’s the story Marie told us yesterday about the reconciliation with her sister. Could Amber’s choice of flowers really have made such a difference? It must have been a coincidence, surely? Perhaps Julie had been thinking of making up with Marie all along, and seeing her standing on her step had given her just the push she needed.
But what if Amber was right and it had been the flowers. Could it be that there really was something to these books? Amber had admitted to me afterwards she’d used the books to make up bouquets several times already, but Marie had been the first person to come back and tell her they had worked. What if more people started coming back to the shop to tell us it had worked for them too? Ant and Dec remain convinced my grandmother helped bring them together, and the locals are always talking about Daisy Chain being special… Even Jake seems to think there’s something to it, and despite our falling out, I value his opinion very highly.
My mind wanders to Jake, and a feeling of guilt immediately begins to seep through me.
‘Stop it, Poppy,’ I tell myself. ‘Jake made it quite clear he didn’t want a relationship with you, you are doing nothing wrong in going out for a drink with Ash tonight. And that’s all it is,’ I remind myself. ‘Just a drink with an old friend. Nothing more.’
It’s Friday night so the pub is already busy when I get there.
I push my way through the locals, and a few tourists, and spot Ash standing up at the bar.
‘Hey,’ he says, turning around when I tap him on the shoulder. ‘You made it. You look great.’
On Amber’s advice, and after much coaxing, I’ve been uncharacteristically adventurous with my outfit tonight. I’m still wearing my customary black in the form of skinny jeans with pixie boots; it’s my top that’s making me feel uneasy. I’ve borrowed one of Amber’s plainer shirts – still black, but with a host of colourful polka dots scattered haphazardly over the fabric. It’s very Amber; I’m just not sure it’s very me.
‘It’s a start,’ Amber had said proudly, like a mother helping her daughter dress for her first date. ‘Have fun!’ she’d encouraged as she’d stood waving at the cottage door, watching me walk down the street.
‘Thanks,’ I tell Ash now, smiling at him. ‘So do you.’
Ash is wearing dark blue jeans and a pale green shirt that makes him look even more tanned and healthy as he leans casually against the bar. ‘What can I get you?’ he asks. ‘The world of the Merry Mermaid is your oyster!’
‘I’ll have a white wine, please,’ I say, just managing to stop myself from asking for ‘a pint’. This was definitely an evening for channelling the ‘Belle’ in me, if there even was such a dainty, elegant thing contained within my four sturdy walls.
‘Rita, when you’re ready,’ Ash calls, opening his wallet and waving a note at Rita.
‘You’re next, Ash, sweetie,’ Rita calls down the bar. ‘Oh hello, Poppy, I didn’t see you there.’ I notice her face registering the fact Ash and I are together as she finishes pulling the pint.
I lift my hand to give her a tiny wave, then sort of drop it in embarrassment. Rita is obviously wondering what’s happened to my usual drinking partner, Jake.
‘So, how was your afternoon?’ Ash asks. ‘Were you busy creating lots of beautiful bouquets?’
‘No, I’m just a general dogsbody about the shop; it’s Amber that does all the hard work. She’s the creative one.’
‘Really? I’m surprised you kept the shop as a florist’s then. Most people would have turned it into a coffee shop or a tearoom, that seems to be all anyone wants these days.’
‘Family tradition.’
‘Ah, I know all about that. My grandfather was a gardener, my father too, and now little ol’ me.’
‘Don’t you enjoy it then?’
Ash smiles, and I’m treated to the sight of his perfect white teeth. ‘Yeah, it’s OK. I like being out in the fresh air, and I’m virtually my own boss. It could pay a bit better, but I kinda do what I like when I like, so that’s a big bonus.’ He pretends to look around him, then winks. ‘Just checking none of my clients are within earshot. They might say differently!’
‘Ha, well I think you’re quite safe tonight,’ I reply, pretending to look quickly around the bar.
‘Oh?’ Ash enquires, flashing another disarming smile at me. ‘I’d hoped otherwise… Ah, Rita, yes, a glass of your finest white wine for the lady, and I’ll have a Jack and Coke please.’
I take a deep breath while he’s turned away for a moment.
Goodness, Ash is certainly laying on the charm tonight. But not in a fawny, grovelly way, I couldn’t bear that. No, Ash’s brand of charm is much more dangerous; it’s the kind that catches you completely off guard, leaving you tongue-tied, blushing and not knowing what to do. Worst of all, you find yourself liking it.
‘There’s a table over there, do you want to sit down?’ Ash asks when he’s got our drinks.
We walk over to a low table against the far wall of the pub, I sit down on the sofa that’s at one side of the table, and I expect Ash to take a seat on one of the comfy chairs at the other side. But he doesn’t, he comes and sits right next to me.
‘Now,’ he says, ‘let’s talk nappies.’
For the next half-hour or so we have a fun time reminiscing about old Stan and the castle.
‘It must have been such a wrench for Stan, leaving Trecarlan,’ I say, thinking fondly of my old friend. ‘He loved that place. I’m sure he would never have left unless it was absolutely necessary, and then he’d have clung on until they had to drag him away. Stan may have been a bit eccentric, but he had a good heart. He was always lovely to me and Will.’
‘What’s your brother doing these days?’ Ash asks. ‘Didn’t he fancy running a flower shop?’
I reach for my glass and am dismayed to find it empty.
‘I seem to be empty,’ I say, hoping Ash will take the hint.
‘Yeah, me too,’ he says, holding up his glass. ‘I’ll go up in a minute, they’re a bit busy at the moment.’
‘No, my round,’ I say, leaping up. ‘Same again?’
Ash doesn’t really have a chance to answer; I’ve already left.
I breathe a sigh of relief as I wait at the bar for Rita or Richie to see me. I should have known Ash would ask questions about Will. I should have been prepared.
The pub seems much busier tonight than it has been of late – and I’m surprised and pleased for Rita and Richie. They deserve success, they’re a lovely couple. Someone squeezes roughly into the space next to me, and I’m about to tell them to watch it, when I turn around to find it’s Jake.
‘Hi,’ he says looking uncomfortable at seeing me standing next to him. ‘I didn’t expect to see you in here tonight. Can I get you something?’
‘Er… no, I’m fine, thank you.’
Oh boy, this is awkward . I glance over at Ash, but he’s facing the other way.
‘Poppy, let me buy you a drink to make up for yesterday. We’re still mates, aren’t we?’
Jake seems anxious that I might say no.
‘Of course we are,’ I reply, relaxing a little. ‘Yesterday was just a silly mistake on my part. I’m sorry.’
‘Poppy, you’ve nothing to be sorry for.’ Jake places his hand over mine as it rests on the bar. But the contact is too much, and immediately I pull away.
‘How about I buy you a drink,’ I say hurriedly, ‘just to show there’s no hard feelings. OK?’
Jake nods, but he looks dismayed at my rebuff.
‘What would you like?’ I ask, hoping Rita or Ritchie will hurry up and see me.
‘My usual ,’ Jake says, obviously surprised I have to ask. ‘A pint of Tribute.’
‘Yes, of course,’ I say. ‘Richie!’ I call, trying to attract his attention.
‘Yes, Poppy, what can I get you?’ Richie says, arriving at the bar in front of us. He looks startled to see Jake standing next to me. ‘Oh, you are with Jake, I knew Rita had got it wrong earlier when she said you were with —’
‘A pint of Tribute, a medium white wine, and a JD and Coke please, Rich,’ I say, cutting him off.
‘Ah, right… gotcha.’ He winks at me and begins pouring the drinks.
‘Three drinks, Poppy?’ Jake enquires. ‘Are you feeling particularly thirsty this evening?’
‘No, the other one is for someone else.’
‘But still no pint for you. Plus you’re wearing some colour. Golly, you must be out to impress!’ I know Jake is joking, and usually I’m much happier when things between us are light-hearted and flippant like this, but Jake is getting a bit too close to the truth.
‘No, I just wanted a change, that’s all.’
‘Nothing wrong in that, change is good.’ Jake smiles at me, and I turn away. This is getting more awkward by the second.
Richie finishes pouring my drinks and stands them in front of me. I pass him a twenty-pound note.
‘Yours, I believe.’ I slide Jake’s drink to him along the bar, and our fingertips touch as he goes to take the beer from me. Our eyes meet for a second over the top of the glass.
‘Cheers, Poppy,’ Jake says, lifting his pint and taking a sip. ‘So which is yours?’ he asks, looking at the two glasses in my hands.
I lift the wine glass.
‘Very nice, and the other is for…?’
I glance over to where Ash is waiting for me.
I think I see Jake flinch slightly as he follows my gaze, but I can’t be sure.
‘So it’s young Ash who is the lucky recipient of the Jack Daniels. Very nice.’
I wait for him to say something else, but he doesn’t, he just picks up his pint and takes another sip.
‘Right, well, I’d best be getting back over there then. Enjoy your beer.’
For a moment I think Jake is about to say something, but instead he just nods calmly, and I find myself heading back over to Ash, trying not to spill the drinks.
‘All right?’ Ash asks as I sit down. ‘I was wondering, do you remember a time when you and your brother were playing hide and seek, and you let me join in…’
While he’s talking I drift off with my own thoughts, thoughts about Jake.
Why didn’t he say anything while we were at the bar just then? Didn’t he care I was in here on a date with Ash? He must have realised that’s what it was.
Obviously he had no reason to care what I got up to any more. He’d made that perfectly clear yesterday.
I sulk for a few seconds, before sensible thoughts start filtering into my brain past all the huffy ones.
What was I expecting him to say, even if he did care?
‘Ash isn’t good enough for you. I was wrong, let me whisk you back to my flower beds and make mad passionate love to you immediately.’
I almost blush at the thought. Anyway, what good would it have done if he had said that? I’d have only been freaked out by all the flowers and run away!
No, I had to get used to the fact that Jake wanted to be my friend, nothing more. If I wanted anything else, I was going to have to look for it elsewhere.
‘… and I remember Will getting stuck in the larder, so when my granny Babs came in to start making the lunch that day she got such a shock… Poppy? Are you listening to me?’ Ash asks, tilting his head to one side.
‘Of course!’ I drop back into the real world with an imaginary thud. ‘Will made up a story to cover him being in the pantry, something about him thinking about becoming a chef when he left school. But then he was caught out, because he had to stay and help Babs make sandwiches for Stan’s lunch.’
‘Yes, that’s right.’ Ash thinks. ‘You were going to tell me about Will earlier: what’s he doing now?’
‘Will died,’ I announce, suddenly wanting to tell someone instead of keeping it hidden all the time. I was tired of secrets. ‘He died fifteen years ago.’
‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ Ash says, looking quite shaken. ‘I had no idea, I wouldn’t have kept going on about him if I’d known.’
‘It’s fine. Sometimes it’s nice to talk about him again, and remember.’
‘What happened, or would you rather not talk about it?’
I was ready to tell someone Will was no longer with us, but I wasn’t ready to go into details.
‘No, I’d rather not, if you don’t mind.’
Ash takes a long drink from his glass.
‘Do you mind if I have a bit of that?’ I ask him. ‘Suddenly I feel like something stronger than wine.’
‘Go for it,’ he says, holding out the glass.
I take Ash’s glass and swallow a large gulp of the whisky, then another, and a third until the glass is empty.
‘Wow,’ Ash says, looking impressed. ‘You OK?’
‘Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get out of here, shall we? It’s starting to feel a bit stuffy.’
It’s quite hot in the bar, but for once the reason I’m feeling suffocated has nothing to do with the place being crowded or because I’ve picked up the scent of a bunch of flowers. It’s because I’m aware of Jake’s eyes glancing across at us every few minutes.
‘Sure thing,’ Ash says, standing up.
We make our way out of the busy pub into the cool night air, and I stop for a moment to breathe in the fresh saltiness coming off the sea.
‘You OK?’ Ash asks again. ‘Sorry about your brother…’
‘Ash, I should thank you,’ I say, turning towards him. ‘It’s the first time since I’ve been back in St Felix that I’ve been able to tell anyone that. It’s as if you’ve released something in me, something that needed to be set free.’
‘Really?’ Ash says, moving towards me slightly. He reaches out his hand and gently takes a strand of my hair that’s blowing in the breeze and tucks it gently behind my ear. ‘Is there anything else you’d like to set free?’
His hand lingers on my jaw, his fingers stroking my skin so delicately I can hardly tell if it’s him or the sea breeze caressing my face.
I look up at him and nod.
Ash leans down, his face hovers in front of mine for a second, his bright blue eyes examining my face, until they fall upon my lips, then he leans forward that tiny bit more and I feel his lips on mine…