Chapter 4
4
The train sailed into Bray Station at five minutes past two, and she spied the girls waiting on the platform. Brianna held Harry’s hand firmly, the buggy parked beside her with a backpack sitting in it. Harry might be five, but he was firmly attached to his buggy and, given he was small for his age, got away with curling up in it when he'd had enough. All three waved when they saw her disembark.
Nora, Jess noticed as she leaned in for a quick hug, looked as if she meant business in her obviously expensive all-weather parka, cargo pants and hiking boots, whereas Brianna was a bit more casual in her sweatshirt, old jeans and sneakers.
‘Oh goody, you’re wearing the elephant suit!’ Brianna grinned, kissing her friend hello on the cheek and causing Harry to erupt into giggles and make trumpeting noises.
Nora frowned and shook her head. ‘I’ll never know why – when you finally did go and buy yourself something new – you chose that.’
Jess pulled off Harry’s woolly hat, causing him to squeal, and, handing it back, told him to pipe down before stating, ‘Because me and the elephant suit are a match made in heaven. It’s the comfiest outfit I’ve ever owned. Besides, I’ll have you know I got wolf whistled at this morning while’ – she did a twirl – ‘wearing this, my Penney special, and I had those pink fluffy slippers Mum sent me on, too.’
Brianna’s eyes widened. ‘You never did?’
‘I did.’
‘You go, girl!’
‘Were you walking past St Vincent’s then?’ Nora sniggered. St Vincent’s was the Fairview-based psychiatric hospital.
Jess hit her playfully on the arm. ‘Don’t be so awful, action woman! Come on – you look like you’re about to climb Everest, so we better get a move on before we get crushed in the melee.’ She nodded to the handful of passengers getting on and off the train and the other two laughed.
The foursome wound their way down to the promenade, which would take them to the start of the cliff walk. The tide was out, Jess noticed, looking at the crab-hole-pocked sand as she listened to her friends chatter on about their weeks. Harry trudged alongside her, looking mutinous and muttering about wanting his lemonade and crisps now. It was a good job Brianna had had the foresight to bring the buggy thought. There was no way he’d manage the two-hour walk ahead of them. The big girls would struggle enough without having to take it in turns to piggyback him as well!
An hour later, the quartet paused to draw breath and survey the scene splayed out before them. Craggy green-and-brown cliffs stretched down to a churning sea, its recalcitrant colour meshing with the sky. Occasionally, a marauding gull would provide a splash of white against the vista. The sense of nature’s power was overwhelming up here, Jess thought, inhaling deeply and trying to harness a bit of it.
‘Even on a day like this, it’s gorgeous, isn’t it? We could be the only people in the entire world.’ Brianna sighed happily before plopping Harry into his buggy. ‘You’ve done so well walking all this way, sweetheart. I think you deserve a bit of a nibble. What do you think?’
Harry’s hand was already outstretched in anticipation of sustenance, and as Brianna handed him his lunch box, a couple sailed round the corner on mountain bikes, nearly mowing them all down.
‘Oi, watch it!’ she called out, receiving no more than an apologetic wave as the cyclists disappeared down the hillside.
Jess laughed. ‘Well, almost the only people left in the world, aye, Brie? And you’re right – it is gorgeous. It reminds me of home.’ She felt a strong pang.
Brianna patted her on the shoulder. ‘Did you know that your accent always get broader when you feel homesick? It must be hard sometimes being so far away from your family.’
‘Yeah, it is sometimes, but then Mum phones me and I get over it pretty quickly.’
‘What’s the male-to-female ratio like in New Zealand?’ Nora butted in, producing a fancy-looking silver-foil-wrapped bar from the depths of her rucksack.
‘I don’t know, but I bet my mum could tell you. She knows the stats for most countries – I’ll ask her next time she phones.’ She frowned, watching her friend hoe into the unappetising-looking snack. ‘Nora, you’re not doing the Boston Marathon. What’s with the bar?’
‘Protein bar.’ Crumbs spewed forth. ‘Low in fat and packed full of protein.’
Brianna held out a bag of chocolate chip cookies, and Jess helped herself to one.
Nora suddenly looked coy. ‘I’ve got another date with Ewan next Friday, and I want to fit into that little black dress of mine – you know, the one with the halterneck you two helped me pick?’
The two friends nodded and exchanged a glance; it was a gorgeous dress. If Nora was pulling out all the stops on a second date with Ewan, then they needed to find out more.
Brianna jumped straight in. ‘So what’s he like then, this Ewan? He must have something about him if you’re seeing him again.’
‘Well, put it this way, girls: I knew right from the off I was looking at a pretty good candidate to father my babies – yep, a top-quality sperm donor.’
The other two women nearly choked on their cookies, and Nora smirked. If there was a reality TV show called The Shock Factor, she’d have a starring role.
‘You can be so crass, Nora Brennan, but speaking of sperm, you just reminded me – Mum told me my sister is thinking of having another baby.’
‘What would that be then?’
‘Number five. I think she’s mad, though she and Brian have a pretty good babysitter to help ease the stress of it all.’
‘Who’s that then?’
‘My mum.’
‘Oh right, good old mum. Well, if Mr Good-Quality Sperm doesn’t work out, I could always ask your sister to be a surrogate.’
‘Ooh, now that really is gross.’
‘All the celebrities are at it.’
‘Not with my sister, they aren’t,’ Jess muttered darkly.
‘Anyway, back to my possible donor. How are you placed next Friday night? Because he has a friend…’
‘I will not go down the blind date route, Nora.’
‘At least it might get you a root!’ This was a phrase Nora had picked up on her year-long Australian adventure a decade or so ago.
‘Give it a rest, you two! Little ears are burning.’ Brianna set off at a brisk pace, sending Harry’s cheesy-corn snacks flying. ‘Come on – shift it. There’s a glass of wine waiting for us in Greystones.’
Nora and Jess did as they were told.
By the time they reached the little harbour town of Greystones, the weather had closed in and a steady drizzle was descending. The Beach House Pub was a welcome sight looming over the little horseshoe-shaped bay, and they hurried inside to where a welcoming fire was roaring.
Once they were settled with their drinks in front of them, Nora picked up the threads of their earlier conversation. ‘Ewan said his friend is a big fan of your column, and he’s really keen to meet you.’ She frowned. ‘He said he loves your eclectic style, whatever that means.’
‘You’re making him sound like the male version of Kathy Bates in Misery – “I’m your biggest fan,”’ Jess mimicked, trying to smooth down curls she just knew had frizzed in the damp air.
‘I love the series you’re doing at the moment on all the different culinary schools in Dublin. This week’s one on Croatian food was really funny – I giggled out loud trying to picture you flipping pancakes. What were they called again?’ Brianna loyally read her friend’s column every week and always gave her biased feedback.
‘Yeah, it was a sight and I had to scrape more than one off the floor. Cooking is not my forte, Brie, that’s for sure, but Marija, our teacher, felt sorry for me and let me eat hers. Mmm, they were scrummy – pala?inke sa sirom, or pancakes with cottage cheese.’ Jess was enjoying her weekly forays into foreign cuisine, as was her waistline, but the walk today would have done her some good.
‘When are you going to do one on good old Irish tucker? Because you can’t beat my gran’s stew with a hunk of soda bread to mop it all up with – yum! It’s the best.’ Brianna’s eyes glazed over at the very thought of it.
‘I’ve only got a couple more weeks to run with the cooking-school theme and no offence to Granny Dierdre, but I’m booked in on a Cajun course and then I’m looking at a Portuguese class. After that, I need to come up with something completely different. Niall’s giving me the hard word – he wants something that will really hold readers’ attention, so put your thinking caps on, girls.’
‘Well, if you go on this blind date Nora’s jacked up, you could write about that. I for one would be most interested in finding out how you get on, and I think you should go, by the way.’ Brianna opened Harry’s bag of prawn-cocktail-flavoured crisps, an extra treat to keep him happy, and handed them to him. ‘Because if you don’t go, you’ll never know, will you?’
Jess frowned. ‘Know what?’
‘Whether or not he’s the one, of course!’
‘Humph. Or he could be this Ewan’s horrible, desperate mate.’
‘Ewan assured me there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him. They went to school together, and he’s done really well for himself – dealing in property, apparently.’ Nora leaned toward her. ‘Come on, Jess. Brianna’s right: if you don’t come along, you’ll never know, and you might be letting the opportunity of a lifetime slip you by. What’s the worst thing that could happen?’
‘He could be a serial killer.’
‘Well, now that would make for riveting reading,’ Nora replied, and Brianna sniggered.
‘It’s not funny.’
‘Look, I’ll lay it on the line for you.’ Nora leaned forward earnestly. ‘I’m actually rather keen on Ewan, and he asked me on behalf of this old school chum of his – who, like I said, loves your column and your weirdo style – to set up a double date for this Friday. Please, please don’t make me let them down.’
Jess knew when she was beaten. ‘Well, I have to go when you put it like that, don’t I? But I’m warning you, Nora, I will make you suffer if he turns out to be a freak of nature.’ She took a slug of wine. ‘And you have to come shopping with me this week, Brie. I have a feeling I won’t get away with wearing my trusty old 1960s rose-print cocktail dress.’
‘You most certainly will not!’ Nora exclaimed.
‘I didn’t think so. Looks like I’ll have to splurge if I’m going to find a dress worthy of being seen out with the halterneck.’
Brianna grinned. ‘Ooh, goody! I love shopping. Especially when it’s someone else’s credit card getting a hammering.’
Nora smiled too and raised her glass. ‘Thanks, sweetie; you’re the best. To the One – you never know.’
‘To the One,’ they chorused.
Harry joined in clinking his lemonade against their wine glasses so enthusiastically that he managed to slop half of it over the wooden tabletop. ‘Whoopsie.’
‘Never mind, love; it was an accident.’ Brianna produced a roll of paper towels from her bag.
‘My God, girl, have you got the kitchen sink in there as well?’ Nora asked in disbelief.
‘I was in the Girl Guides – I’m always prepared,’ she replied, mopping up the sticky drink. ‘So come on then: tell us a bit about this Ewan. What does he do? And, more importantly, what does he look like?’
‘He’s an actor, and he’s not bad-looking at all.’
‘Oh? Anyone we’d have heard of?’ Jess asked.
Nora had dated actors before – bit-part players she’d come across at the various premieres she got to attend in her role as cinema manager for the Movie Max chain. Jess had always found them to be a bit self-absorbed for her liking.
‘His name’s Ewan Reid.’
There was a split-second silence as Jess and Brianna digested the name that had just been dropped. Then both girls screeched, ‘EWAN REID! As in The Suburban Man star, Ewan Reid?’
All heads swivelled their way to see what the excitement was about.
‘Shush, you two! Honestly, you’re worse than a pair of star-struck tweenies. Yes, Ewan Reid, star of smash hit film The Suburban Man .’ Then Nora broke into uncontrollable giggles and wrapped her arms around herself, giving away her own excitement. ‘And he’s absolutely fecking GORGEOUS!’
‘What’s he like in real life? How did you meet him, and more to the point, how come it’s taken you so bloody long to tell us? We’re supposed to be your best friends, for goodness’ sake!’ Jess shrieked, now pouring the remainder of the bottle of wine she’d bought for the table into her glass, having downed what was left of the first in one large gulp at the shock of it all.
‘I’m sorry. I really, really wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want to jinx it. I felt like if I said the words “I have a date with Ewan Reid” out loud, I’d wake up and find I’d dreamed the whole thing. To be honest, girls, I could hardly believe it myself when he asked me out. I mean, he’s a movie star, and I’m, well, I’m…’
‘You’re Nora Brennan – gorgeous, successful career woman,’ Brianna put in loyally. ‘So come on then, tell us – how did you meet him? Was it in a book shop? I saw him interviewed on Graham Norton a few weeks back, and he said that he’s an avid reader.’
Nora laughed. ‘No, you eejit, that was in Notting Hill , and anyway, he’s far better-looking than Hugh Grant, and I’m hardly Julia Roberts. We met at the after-party for the Irish premiere of The Suburban Man . Honestly, girls, he’s lovely and so normal – not at all like some of those other affected actor arses I’ve been out with in the past. Apparently he asked his agent, Maria, to find out who I was and introduce us. We got talking and basically didn’t stop talking all night. He even ignored that skinny cow from Big Brother , the one who looks a bit like Victoria Beckham, when she came over and tried to stick her set of cantaloupes under his nose!’
‘He didn’t!’ Brianna’s eyes were like saucers. ‘Ooh, she wouldn’t have liked that.’
‘She didn’t.’ Nora looked pleased with herself as she glanced down at her own pair of natural 34C cups. ‘I’ve always said a boob job won’t get you anywhere in this world.’
‘Maybe, but it would be nice if mine didn’t have such an up-close-and-personal relationship with my belly button these days – bloody breastfeeding,’ Brianna lamented.
‘So what did you talk about then?’ Jess wanted details, details, details; it was the writer in her.
‘Well, it turns out he’s a bit of an adrenaline junkie, like me.’
‘Nora!’ she couldn’t help but exclaim. ‘The only remotely adventurous thing I’ve ever seen you do is a spot of rock climbing at Clondalkin Leisure on Harry’s birthday last year. That hardly even counts as abseiling, let alone an adrenaline rush.’
Nora’s expression grew petulant. ‘The instructor said I was a natural, and for your information, I’ve always wanted to go white-water rafting.’
‘Come on, you two – we can talk about Nora’s penchant for thrill-seeking at home. I need to get Harry back for his tea, and there’s a packet of chicken sausages with your names on it sitting in my fridge.’ Brianna got to her feet and began helping Harry back into his coat.
At the mention of food, Jess suddenly realised she was ravenous, and she guessed Nora was, too. They followed suit, and Harry drifted off to sleep in his buggy while Nora talked non-stop about the delectable Mr Reid and what she would like to do to him all the way back to Brianna’s.
It was later that night as Jess sat curled up on her couch that she realised Brianna had indeed given her an idea for her column. She would be going on a double date with a Hollywood movie star, so why not write about what it was like to hang out with a celebrity in Dublin?
Pleased the pressure to come up with something pronto was off, she began idly channel-surfing, and it was then she spotted Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs lying on the coffee table where she’d left it. She picked the little book up, opened the cover and gazed thoughtfully at the names scribbled inside it. She was getting that tingly sensation she always got when the seeds of a potentially brilliant idea for her column began to germinate.