Chapter 9
Bridie carried the sleeping puppy downstairs and carefully put him back in his crate.
She was feeling a little guilty for taking him upstairs and letting him on her bed.
She expected he wouldn’t forget his little adventure.
Although she might let her own pet have the run of the house, this wasn’t her house, and she had to respect that.
She whispered, ‘Barney, your trip upstairs was just a lovely puppyhood dream, all right?’ She smiled affectionately at the sleeping pup.
She’d never thought of having a pet herself.
Or a home with a garden. Her life had been an endless round of shows, rehearsals, and socialising; she couldn’t imagine a life away from London, or the possibility of living in anything other than a rented flat – not until she’d returned home.
She knew she hadn’t wanted her parents’ life, nor her sister’s.
I still don’t, thought Bridie. She missed London.
She couldn’t imagine anything changing her mind.
Then she looked at Barney, his soft, velvety ears twitching, his little button nose sniffing something in his puppy dream.
‘Oh, don’t!’ she whispered. He was the sweetest puppy; she just wanted to pick him up and cradle him in her arms. He made her suddenly yearn for a life she’d thought she didn’t want.
Bridie willed herself to get up. Barney had been a welcome distraction, but she already had cabin fever. The house was too quiet, and her bedroom and diaries just reminded her of the mess she’d made of her life.
It was mid-morning, and she couldn’t stand being in the house any longer.
She needed air, movement, anything but the cloying sympathy of her parents and their opinion that they’d known her chosen career wouldn’t work out.
She didn’t want a lecture about it, or the talk again from her mother about all the potential jobs out there.
Bridie decided not to take Barney for a walk round the village. That, in her mind, was not getting out. Within ten minutes she’d be back at the house. She needed to get out of the village and go for a proper walk.
She crept out of the conservatory, leaving Barney to his puppy dreams, and closed the door. The beach in Aldeburgh was a fifteen-minute drive away.
Bridie returned from her bedroom with her handbag and picked out her car key from the row of little pegs on the wall beside the coat rack by the front door.
Julian had told her to sell the car so many times.
She was glad she hadn’t listened. Although he was right that she never used it in London, and she didn’t visit her parents in Suffolk as often as she should, she’d kept it more for nostalgic reasons than anything else. It was her first and only car.
Her parents had bought it for her when she passed her driving test during her A-Levels.
It had been second-hand then, only five years old.
Fifteen years later, the old Ford Fiesta was still going strong.
It was serviced annually and passed its MOT every year with flying colours.
Of course, that was in no small part due to her dad, who took it out for a spin once a week without fail, and kept it in their garage, much to her mum’s dismay; it meant there was room in the garage for only one of their cars.
‘But once I retire, we’ll probably get rid of one of our cars and just have the one between us,’ Bridie had overheard him say on her last visit months earlier.
Bridie was just about to head out when she had a thought; she’d better tell them where she was going and when to expect her back.
She sighed, rolled her eyes, turned on her heel and approached the lounge. The door was closed. She was about to walk in, thinking that at some point that morning she must phone her grandad and check he was okay, when she overheard Mum say, ‘I think it’s for the best.’
Bridie sighed at the thought that they were talking about her again. They were no doubt saying that she was only in her thirties; she had time to change direction and get a ‘proper’ job.
‘I would have liked him to come to my retirement party.’
Bridie knitted her brow. The party was meant to be a surprise. How had Dad found out?
Mum. Bridie guessed it was very difficult for couples to keep secrets from one another, no matter how well-intentioned.
The party was going to be there at the house, so how her mum had thought she’d be able to shop for all the party food and get things organised without her dad suspecting something, Bridie had no idea.
‘I know you’d like to mend bridges, Rufus …’
‘We’re not getting any younger.’
Bridie nodded at the door. She agreed with her dad. That was what she wanted too. She thought her dad’s retirement party might be just the opportunity for them to put the past behind them.
She wondered if they’d spoken to her grandad that morning, or rather, if her mum had – her dad wouldn’t have. It would put her mind at rest if someone had been in contact with him after he hadn’t arrived home before she’d left for Suffolk the previous day.
She felt guilty for listening in on their private conversation, but she couldn’t help herself. Perhaps they’d reveal what exactly the estrangement was all about. Instead, the conversation took a surprising turn.
Her mum said, ‘I think it’s for the best he’s not coming.’
‘You did invite him.’
‘Of course, Rufus. I spoke to him this morning. I just got off the phone with him, I told you. He rang because his neighbour, Mrs Hughes, mentioned that Bridie had arrived at his flat with her suitcase, and he was out, and she missed him, so he was trying to contact Bridie with no luck.’
Bridie frowned. He hadn’t phoned her that morning – had he? Bridie got her phone out of her pocket and rolled her eyes. She’d forgotten to charge it. Her mobile had died. Damn!
Bridie’s dad said, ‘I bet she had her phone switched off or on silent in case that idiot of a fiancé tried to phone her. How did my dad know what had happened to Bridie?’
‘He didn’t. Not when he first phoned. I filled him in.’
Bridie glared at the door. It was not that she minded her parents talking about what had happened – she would just rather it had come from her so she could sugar-coat it, and her grandad wouldn’t worry too much.
Her mum continued, ‘She must have gone to the apartment building last night first, presumably to stay with him after what happened.’
‘Now that doesn’t surprise me. Those two have always been as thick as thieves.’
There was an awkward pause before her mother continued, ‘Turns out a neighbour took her in for a cuppa. Mrs Hughes.’
‘Where was he then?’
‘At a show with his friends.’
‘Figures. He’s always at a show.’
Bridie nodded and managed a smile. Yep, that was her grandad.
‘Waste of time building that granny annexe. He’ll never come and live here with us.’ Bridie could hear the annoyance in her mum’s voice.
‘And you know why?’ Rufus chipped in. ‘There are not enough local theatres around here. He’d get mighty bored.’
Bridie was still smiling. They knew him well. She was relieved that she didn’t have to worry about him. Now all she had to worry about was what they’d told him about her. And she still felt it was unfair that the party would go ahead without him.
She was about to walk in and have it out with them when her mum said, ‘I still think it’s for the best that he’s not coming to the party. You can make it up with him, mend bridges afterwards. But at the party, we don’t want him to say anything … out of turn.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, Rufus, what do you think I mean?’
‘Oh, right.’
‘Yes – oh, right. One of these days he’s going to say something, I just know he is.’
She heard her dad in a hushed voice say, ‘We really shouldn’t have these conversations now she’s returned.’
Her mum said sarcastically, ‘Oh, you think? But while we’re on the subject, you need to have a word with your dad, remind him of the promise he made to keep your secret.’
‘It’s not just my secret. It’s ours.’
Bridie stared at the door. What on earth …?
‘Yes, I know that,’ her mother snapped. ‘But it wasn’t my fault you—’
‘For goodness’ sake, darling, she could wander in here at any time. In fact, she could be on her way in here as we speak.’
Bridie crept away from the door, afraid one of them might open it and find her standing just the other side.
She remembered to take a breath. Like all couples, they had their secrets.
Whatever was going on with them, she reasoned that she had enough of her own issues.
And she realised something else. She wasn’t being fair on her parents.
They shouldn’t have to tiptoe around and not speak their own minds in their own home.
Bridie crept to the stairs, walked up five, then stomped down, calling out, ‘Mum, Dad – I’m off out.’
Just as she got to the bottom stair, the lounge door opened, her parents exchanging glances, looking uncomfortable. ‘Great, love.’
She jangled her car key. ‘All right if I use my car?’ She was just checking it wasn’t in for a service.
‘Yes.’ Rufus nodded. ‘I’ve been looking after it just as I promised.’
Bridie skipped up to her dad and gave him a kiss. ‘Thanks Dad.’
Her mum asked where she was going.
‘I fancied going into Aldeburgh.’ She looked pointedly at her dad.
‘I might do some shopping.’ She wondered if her mum would get the message that she was thinking of something for her dad’s retirement party, maybe some balloons or decorations, and perhaps a retirement present too, although she had no clue what to get a man who basically had everything he’d ever wanted. Although, did he, really?
Perhaps he was going to have too much time on his hands. It would never surprise her if her dad announced he wanted a little job, something part-time to get him out of the house.
Rufus asked, ‘Are you going to look for some work in Aldeburgh?’
Bridie half expected him to ask if he could go with her.
‘Rufus, darling, I think she’s going to need a bit of time before she starts job-hunting.’
‘But you were the one who brought up Bridie getting a job this morning over breakfast.’
‘Yes, I’m aware of that. But I don’t expect her to go out and get one right now. Let’s at least give her a few days, maybe a week, to settle in.’
‘Guys, I’m right here!’
‘Of course you are, dear,’ said her mum walking over and giving her a kiss goodbye.
Rufus said, ‘Do you need some money for petrol and wotnot?’
Bridie held back tears. ‘No, Dad. I’ve got some savings.
’ Actually, she had just been paid, and now she didn’t have to give up most of it for her share of the running costs of the flat, it meant she had one month’s wages to fall back on.
But she didn’t tell them that. It just sounded so much more grown-up and responsible to tell them she had some savings tucked away.
She had no such thing. She lived paycheque to paycheque – not something her parents would understand.
They both walked to the door to see her out. ‘You will tell us if you need anything, won’t you, dear?’
Bridie eyed her mum and almost joked, Yeah, of course – how about a time machine so I can change my reaction in the theatre to finding out my fiancé was cheating on me?
She would still have moved out of the flat, but at least she’d still be in the job she loved, not in Suffolk wondering what she was going to do with herself.
She thought miserably how hindsight was a wonderful thing.
It was not like she had any amazing friends she could call on in London who would help her out or just be a shoulder to cry on.
All her friends were his friends, and as he was an influential producer, nobody was going to side with her even though it was he who was in the wrong.
‘Are you going to catch up with him, now you’re back?’
Bridie had just been stepping out of the door, her eyes drawn to the unfinished granny annexe, when she did an about-turn, surprised by the question. ‘Who do you mean?’
‘Why, Oliver – of course. Who did you think we were talking about?’
For some reason, Jack came to mind. She knew why. It was her own fault for reading those teenage diaries, taking her back to a happier, more innocent time, when she’d had the whole world at her feet and was in love.
‘What is it, darling?’ her mum asked. ‘Don’t you want to see Oliver?’
Maybe now, after all that had happened with Julian, she didn’t want to be reminded of the past. She had enough of that just by being home with her parents.
If only the granny annexe had been finished.
She would have moved in there like a shot.
It wasn’t just her childhood home, but her childhood bedroom that wasn’t helping one bit.
She wanted to move out. But where? She immediately thought of her grandad, but returning to London and being reminded of her old life at every turn wouldn’t do her any good either – she was convinced of it.
‘Oliver always asks after you when we bump into him shopping.’
They’d told her on numerous occasions that he’d often said to tell her that if she was ever in town, he’d love to meet for catch-up.
She hadn’t exactly gone out of her way to stay in touch and meet up with him on her rare visits from London. Now she needed a friend – they’d been best friends once – but she imagined he wouldn’t be interested in resuming their friendship. Perhaps that was for the best.
She had a real reason to avoid him now, too; she’d be too embarrassed to tell him what had happened and that she was back living with her parents for now.
Her face coloured at the thought that he probably knew already – her embarrassing outburst would be on social media.
In fact, she could just imagine that everywhere she went, people would be looking at her, pointing her out and whispering to whomever they were with that she was the stage actress who had lost it and had a fight in the middle of a production.
Bridie had a sudden thought. ‘I’ve forgotten something.’ She barged past her parents, ran up to her room, rifled through her wardrobe, which still contained lots of her old clothes – her parents hadn’t thrown out a single thing – and found what she was looking for.
‘That’s a good idea, Bridie,’ said her dad. ‘It is chilly out. You know, they’re predicting snow flurries.’
Bridie nodded and pulled the large, knitted hat in the shape of a peaked cap further down her head. It wasn’t the weather that had persuaded her to wear it, but the thought of going incognito. Who would recognise her in her big, old bobble hat? She wrapped an equally large scarf around her neck.