10. Callie
Chapter 10
Callie
June 2023
Part of me wants to cut him off and tell him it’s okay, that I’ve forgiven him. The other part of me wants to hear all of what he has to say, to make sure his words are authentic and not just an easy way to squeeze himself back into my life, so I sit there taking it all in.
Seeing him now brings back every emotion I've felt over the last nineteen years. From the joy and happiness of our four years together to the unimaginable heartbreak when he ended things unexpectedly to the anger and longing I felt over the last fifteen years on and off.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes but leaving you standing there with tears rolling down your face as I walked away was the biggest mistake of my life and the only one that I will ever regret.”
That’s the last time I saw Mason. Until now.
Mason clears his throat bringing me back to the present moment.
The waitress walks over to us with our order, so I quickly straighten myself and smile.
“Thank you, Clara,” I say before she walks away leaving me alone with Mason and his words.
I turn to Mason and smile, not knowing if he’s done and waiting for my response or...
“I know I should not have waited as long as I have to tell you all of this and I don’t expect a response from you, at least not right now. I know I’ve given you a lot to think about,” he says to me before looking down at his plate.
We sit in silence for what feels like hours but in reality is just a few minutes. I am digesting everything Mason just told me when I hear him sniffle. I look up just before he turns to look away, not wanting me to see him cry.
“First off, I’m so sorry to hear about the farm. I hope that everyone and all the animals are okay.” I say before taking a break to think through what I want to say in response to the rest of what he said.
“Mason, I’m not mad at you,” I say, hoping he’ll look back at me, so he knows that my words are sincere. When he brings his head up, eyes meeting mine, I continue, “I forgave you long ago. I knew I had to so that I could move on. Not necessarily move on from you but from the idea that I had of us being together. I was in a really bad place, and I didn’t understand your reasoning at first. I was hurt. I didn’t care to think of anyone but myself and for a long time I didn’t. I was very selfish and pushed away anyone who tried to help or offer words of encouragement.”
I pause to glance at my watch to check the time. It’s been almost forty minutes since I left work and I need to get back.
Mason notices me checking the time and says, with worry in his eyes “I know you have a job that you need to get to. If you’re okay with it, can we continue later?” Both hope and fear reflect on his face. He doesn’t think I want to be here. He doesn’t think I need to hear his apology. But why would he? I never reached out, either. I cut the whole world off and just didn’t care.
I don’t like the worry in his eyes. I don’t like that I’m the reason for that worry. Or I guess he is the reason for it if we’re looking at the technicalities. “Yes, I want to finish this conversation. I just need to get back to work. Meet me at my office at five and we’ll finish.” I say, grabbing my glass and taking a few sips of water.
Both of our plates are barely touched. I wave Clara over to ask her for some boxes and the check. She brings us each a box and asks if the check will be split. “No, just one, and I’m paying. Let me grab my card.” Mason says before I have time to tell her yes. Clara takes his card and comes back a few minutes later to hand it back along with the receipt.
“Even though I was planning on staying at the farm while I was down here, I went ahead and grabbed a room at the B&B for a few nights. I just know that I’m not ready to end this conversation. I don’t think either of us has gotten out all we have to say yet.” He says as he grabs both of our boxes and stands up out of the booth.
“I don’t want to end our conversation yet, either. How about you follow me back to my office, so you’ll know where to find me. It’s just a couple blocks away,” I say as we begin walking towards the front door of the diner.
“I know saying sorry will not fix the heartbreak that I caused but know that I am sincerely sorry. From the bottom of my heart.” Mason says after a few minutes of silence.
I hate this awkwardness between us. It didn’t used to be this way and I wish nothing more than for it to go away.
“Thank you for apologizing, Mason,” I reply, “Those words might not fix the heartbreak from all of those years ago, but it does help ease the pain.”
I know in my heart that he is sincere in his words, I can tell just by looking into his eyes. His eyes have always told me exactly where he is at.
I stop and turn towards him. “Mason, I’ve done a lot of growing up since that day you left, too. I’m not the same selfish eighteen-year-old that you left behind. I will never forget that day, no matter how hard I’ve tried since that night. I know though, for a fact, that I am in a place where it doesn’t bother me like it used to. For a while, I thought that meant that I was moving on, over what could have been. Like you, I’ve dated here and there but nothing ever progressed into something more serious. I don’t know what it is about those four years that we spent together but you left a lasting impression on my heart, one that won’t ever just go away.” There are now tears threatening to spill from my eyes.
Mason catches me off guard when he brings his hand up and rubs his thumb across my cheek to wipe the tears away.
What he does next, though, is something I didn’t know I needed.
He pulls me into a tight embrace, wrapping his arms around me and laying his head on top of mine, hugging me in a way that tells me he’s still mine if that’s what I want.
That’s when I let loose. The tears fall quickly and for once they’re not tears of pain. Mason pulls one hand away to wipe the tears that have also been falling from his eyes.
I, Callie Grace Callahan, am crying happy tears into the chest of Mason Everett Ward. The boy who left me in tears on my front lawn is now the man who’s holding me tight sharing these tears of happiness with me. I never imagined I’d see him again, let alone be back in his arms. I’m not complaining, though. Like I said, these are tears of happiness knowing he’s back in my life, no matter what capacity that might be.
Mason has always been where I belonged. Welcome home, Callie.