Chapter 10 #2
He hadn’t thought of hiking as a kind of friendship test, but maybe it was.
Ray turned out to be a most enjoyable companion.
Quieter than usual as she took in the beauty but offering occasional remarks.
With her artistic eyes, she spotted details he missed, like where orchids had been planted in a decaying log.
How vines were trained to grow up and over twenty-foot-high tree stumps.
Away from the intense, rarified atmosphere of Chains, he had a chance to see another side of her. She liked color, preferring vibrant blooms to the foliage like varieties of ferns and mosses.
A couple of times, she’d stopped to touch the older trees, just…breathing…with them, as if sharing their life stories. She said she loved how they’d been left to grow unrestrained.
Interesting. Had she felt restrained in her childhood?
“Did you enjoy your visit with MacKensie this morning?” He stopped to admire how someone had woven thin branches into a calf-high wattle fence.
“I did.” Ray walked for a few steps, then glanced at him. “She’s incredibly nice. And a veterinarian. I wish she lived on Bainbridge so I could take my cat to her.”
“Last winter, George mentioned missing his cats—and you. Did you bring your cat back from college?”
Although her eyes reddened slightly, she smiled, the dimple appearing for a moment. “No, I’ve only had Max for three weeks or so. But he’s made himself at home on the cat wall playground and catio.”
“A…catio?”
“A screened-in, cat patio. When I first moved in with George, he had two cats, Mikan and Yuki. The vet said they needed more exercise, and I saw the catio in one of Faj’s woodworking magazines.
It was one of my first projects.” Her sigh was almost inaudible.
“I think he wanted me to feel it was my home too.”
“By having you put your stamp on it.” Drake nodded. Before Ray, George had raised two sons as well as being an experienced Dominant. Of course he’d recognized the child felt lost.
Blinking hard, Ray kept her gaze on the trail, grief pouring off her.
“Bébé.” Putting an arm over her shoulders, he pulled her close. “We are all richer for having known him. He won’t be forgotten.”
When she leaned into him, accepting his comfort, it filled his heart. Kissing the top of her head, he released her.
Each turn of the trail brought something new to see.
Cedars and firs. Hydrangeas in full bloom.
White wapato flowers with a glimpse of one of the ponds.
“Aside from expounding your wonders as a woodworker, George didn’t share much about you, although Tomo said his father disliked a new manfriend of yours. Was the man Theodore?”
“Yes.” Her lips pressed together in a telling way.
Ah now, how could a Dom resist? Especially since he’d learned over the years that however skilled he might be, he wasn’t omnipotent when it came to reading body language.
It was not only wise to ask for clarification, but a submissive’s choice of answers could be quite revealing.
“Your expression says…” Running a thumb and finger over his beard, he studied her.
“Actually, I’m not sure whether you’re pissed off or unhappy. ”
When she didn’t offer the answer, he waited, and as with most well-socialized people, she couldn’t take the silence.
“Both.” The look she shot him showed she knew she’d been nicely played.
He grinned—and waited.
“You’re worse than a counselor,” she muttered.
Yes, she said she’d had counseling. In his opinion, the therapist had left some work undone. “Is this where I should ask what happened and how you feel about it?”
Her exasperated snort turned into a real laugh, and he grinned. There was nothing as delightful as someone who shared his sense of humor.
“I guess there’s no secret. I fell for Theodore.
We planned to live together when we got back here.
I loved him.” She scowled. “Or maybe I fell for someone who didn’t really exist. I don’t think I changed, but in the beginning, he was full of love and compliments, and in the end, my personality and behavior got only insults. ”
The breath she pulled in was shaky enough that he reached out and took her hand to remind her she wasn’t alone.
Ray felt Drake’s big, warm hand close around hers. How could such a simple gesture be so comforting? Everything he did made her feel cared for.
Huh, she’d never felt like this with Theodore, but she had when she’d come to live with George. The feeling of being safe and protected and…and even precious.
With Drake, there was more though. With him, her body hummed at being near a supremely sexy man. One who was an experienced, powerful Dom.
“So you broke up after you got home—here. Do you have regrets?”
“No.” She bit her lip before adding, “Breaking up wasn’t as painful as it should have been. As shallow as it makes me feel, I think I was more in love with the idea of being in love than with Theodore himself. I haven’t missed him.”
Okay, not quite true. She missed having someone to snuggle with, to talk with over meals and share jokes in movies. The sex—well, had been okay, but her various BOBs and a good imagination actually gave her a better time.
And wasn’t that pitiful?
“Ah now, what was that thought?” The smooth voice yanked her back, and her face heated.
“N-nothing.”
He had a smoky, low laugh as he gripped her shoulders to make her face him. His hand cupped her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. “Tell me, oui?”
What a stubborn Dom. Let’s see if he’s ready to be embarrassed. “I was thinking my BOBs give me bigger orgasms than he ever did.”
“Bobs?” Drake’s dark brows pulled together. “Ah, I remember now. Battery-operated-boyfriends.” His teeth gleamed white in his tanned face, and then his laugh rang out, full and hearty. “Such an insult for your poor ex.”
So much for trying to embarrass Drake.
She tried to pull away, but he still had one hand on her shoulder. After planting a light kiss on her lips, he let her go, but took her hand again as they resumed walking.
The man sure liked to stay in physical contact.
“Um.” She looked down at their laced fingers. “As you can imagine, I’m not interested in another relationship.”
“Not ready yet?” He didn’t release her hand.
“Not ready ever. I’m done.”
He stopped to look at the Residence, the Bloedel family’s neoclassical villa, and then the view out over the calm waters of the Sound. The brisk, cool wind ruffled her hair.
“Mon pauvre bébé. I know how that feels.”
She shook her head. “Sure you do, Mr. Sex-on-a-stick, Ultra-Dom owner of Chains.”
“Non, non, non, this is not worthy of you, Ray Lanigan.” He made that deep-throated, super-French tsking sound. “Appearance, financial status, power—none of those things guarantee a happy relationship. I think you know this.”
Ouch. His polite reprimand made her wince. She’d been guilty of reverse snobbism. And worse, acting as if her hurts were the only ones to have ever happened. “You’re right.” She pulled in a breath.
He watched her, his expression unreadable. His face was masculine angles with firm, sensuous lips that made her want to kiss him again.
“So, Master Drake, I told you my sad story. What’s yours? Why aren’t you with a mesmerizing submissive?”
With a huffed laugh, he lifted her hand and kissed her fingers. “But I am.”
She had one moment of thinking she was holding hands with a man already involved with someone. And realized his gaze was steady on her.
He means me.
Oh.
Her delight at the unexpected compliment was confounding.
“Ah, there’s that smile.” He squeezed her fingers and stopped to look at a beautiful pond.
The pond was lovely. But he wasn’t going to escape answering her. “You made me talk about my relationship fail. It’s your turn.”
“Eh, this is fair.” He shrugged. “I have had two serious, long-term relationships, and both were derailed due to mismatches in what we wanted in a power exchange.”
A power exchange? After a second, she got it. The Dominant/submissive stuff.
“The first, Ramona, loved everything about being a slave. Wanted to leave all decisions to me, from her clothing choices, her food, even to when she used the bathroom. Everything.”
When he grinned, she realized she’d wrinkled her nose. “Sorry.”
“Non, non. You are honest in your feelings.” He stroked his goatee, thumb on one side, fingers on the other. “I was—mmm, mid-twenties—in the scene for maybe five years. I thought of myself as a Master.”
He used past tense. Wasn’t he a Master any longer? People in the club used the title for him. Or maybe there was a difference in an honorific and a lifestyle? “It sounds like a rather intense life.”
“It was. I was uncomfortable with her need to be micromanaged. M/s and 24/7 D/s relationships don’t have to be so all-encompassing. But since she needed to be comprehensively controlled to be content, I helped her find a more suitable Master.”
Ray blinked.
His expression was slightly rueful, but without anger. He really had helped his girlfriend find a new man.
“So you don’t like the Dominant/submissive stuff at home?” There was an odd stab of regret in her chest.
“Actually”—he smiled down at her—“I very much like the D/s stuff at home.”
Huh. “Okay, I’ll bite. What happened to your second serious relationship? I’m guessing it wasn’t a Master/slave sitch?”
“No, my ex wanted the kind of D/s where the power exchange is limited to the bedroom or the club only. You have heard of such a dynamic, oui?”
She nodded. She and MacKensie had talked about it. “Bedroom only wasn’t what you wanted?”
“As it turned out, I don’t like quite such a restrictive rule on where and when.
Exclusively in the bedroom makes BDSM all about sex, but I enjoy the D/s dynamic for itself, not solely for sex.
” He moved his shoulders as if still feeling fettered.
“If you think of D/s as a range where a total power exchange is at one end, and bedroom-only at the other, well...”
“You want something in the middle.”