Chapter 17 #3
“No. I…I started having panic attacks. Depression.” Ray sighed—and Hope wrapped her arms around Ray’s upper arm. Anchoring her. “I dropped out. Went back to Faj. Living in the woods, in his house, it was the only place I felt safe.”
“Of course,” Drake murmured.
“I couldn’t tell Faj what happened, but he pushed me into getting counseling. And then took me to Europe.” His way of bribing her to help her leave the house.
I miss you so much, Faj.
But as Drake hugged her and kissed the top of her head, the same feeling was there: I’ll protect you from anyone and anything that threatens you.
And because of it, the fear crumbled into shreds, and she could breathe again.
Hope had an excellent idea, Drake thought. Killing Crypto sounded about right. Actually, murdering them all wouldn’t be amiss. What had happened to Ray was rape, pure and simple.
To hear a rapist calling himself a Dominant had set up a young college student, led her on and drugged her… Dominants cared for and defended submissives.
Yes, he might well kill the man. The others as well.
He’d killed before, after all—and not for such a good reason.
Drake sighed and hugged Ray closer. Although the Mafia was the most famous, most countries, including France, had organized crime.
Despite Maman’s objections, Papa forced Drake to follow him in as soon as his teenaged body had developed some muscle.
The few he’d killed for the mob had deserved death.
That knowledge didn’t stave off his nightmares.
But the monster who would prey on an innocent college girl… He could handle another nightmare if it would remove the bastard from the world.
He laid his cheek against Ray’s soft hair. Normally, she almost hummed with energy, but reliving this kind of trauma exhausted her.
Tears finished, she sagged against him, half-asleep.
Oui, he needed to kill the man.
“Drake.” Rona rose. “Hand her over so we can get some fluids in her and put her to bed.”
He eyed the women, all compassionate and kind. Although he’d rather help her himself, tonight he’d relinquish the right. Because he did come with a dick.
When she could think clearly again, he hoped she’d remember he also came with a heart.
He nodded to Rona. “Be gentle with her. If she asks, tell her to sleep, and I’ll join her in a while.”
As the women helped Ray to the master bedroom, his friends turned to him with grim expressions.
Alex set his drink down with a thud. “I’m ashamed of my gender.”
“Did you catch the debate over whether a woman would rather encounter a man or a bear when hiking in the forest?” Peter said.
Simon’s jaw tightened. “Yes. I was surprised most choose the bear. Then Rona showed me the reasoning on the internet. If a bear attacked a woman, no one would ask her if she led the bear on, or what she was wearing, or if she drank too much.”
Alex pitched his voice higher. “The bear would only kill me, not tell me to enjoy it. The bear wouldn’t pretend to be my friend—or brag to his friends.”
The lawyer scowled. “One response really bothered me—that no one would question if a bear attack really happened.”
Drake barely kept his hands from forming fists. This was why Ray hadn’t even tried to go to the police.
He breathed out and added his own. “The worst one to me: ‘If it’s a bear and I scream, someone might help me.’ So, my friends, let us prove ourselves better than a bear. How do we discover if there is still a problem at our university?”
They traded ideas and suggestions.
As the women returned down the stairs, Simon turned to Drake. “Although Rona and I leave for Canada in the morning, call if you need help before we get back. We can return early.” He smiled slightly. “Keep in mind, I have a software expert who enjoys…mmm, sidestepping privacy regulations.”
“Thank you, Simon.” Drake rose, gaze on the approaching women.
Rona stopped in front of him. “She’s tucked in and half asleep. Honestly, there are a lot of men who I’d not say this to, but I think she’d find your presence comforting.” A dimple appeared in her cheek. “She said she feels safe when you’re with her.”
“Best compliment ever,” Alex murmured from behind him.
Drake agreed. “Thank you for your care.” He half turned. “I’ll leave you all now, but please stay as long as you wish. You know where the guest rooms are if you wish to overnight here.”
Murmured good nights came from the others.
Upstairs, he found his exhausted submissive curled into a ball, her face barely visible. After cleaning up, he stripped, slid under the covers, and wrapped around her.
She stirred, still half asleep.
“Mon c?ur, it’s me. Go back to sleep.”
Instead, she didn’t hesitate to turn and curl up against him. And his heart melted. To be able to trust him after what she’d endured… He would do his best to be worthy.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her face pressed into his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to ruin the party.”
“Aralia,” he said, ensuring he had her attention. “Did I not ask you to share the story?”
“Well, yes, but I didn’t have to have a meltdown. To be…dramatic.”
Ah, the wounds from her father and her fool of an ex. “You have feelings—and everyone expresses feelings differently. Your way is not wrong.” He kissed the top of her head and hugged her closer. “Truly, I am impressed by your courage.”
He hadn’t realized she’d tensed awaiting his answer until she went limp. “Oh.” A minute later, he heard an almost inaudible, “I love you so much.”
His heart expanded with the feeling her words gave him. Her love and her trust were everything he’d been missing. “Do you now?”
She stiffened. “Oh freaking hell, did I say that out loud?”
He almost laughed. So he didn’t have to wait to tell her his feelings, after all. “I’m pleased you did—because I feel the same. Je t’aime, Aralia Lanigan.”
Sometime during the night, Drake woke with a start, realizing Ray was murmuring to him and stroking her hand over his chest. “It’s okay. You’re dreaming, Drake. You’re all right.”
“Bordel de merde.” He pulled in a breath. “Sorry, ma chérie. A nightmare—old memories.”
“Poor Master.” With a sympathetic sound, she crawled on top of him. Warm, soft, snuggly. Tonight’s fragrance—an earthy sandalwood and cedar mix—made him feel as if he’d caught himself a nature spirit.
“Thank you for waking me. But it is not yet dawn,” he murmured, rubbing his cheek on her hair. “You should sleep.”
“Mmm.” She stacked her hands on his chest and propped her chin on them. “You seemed to think talking about trauma can help. So will telling me about whatever left you with nightmares help you?”
“Non.” Then he stopped and thought. Oftentimes sharing did help. And she should know something about his gory past. “Oui, perhaps it will. It is ugly though.”
“I’m tough.” She moved up long enough to rub her cheek against his, then kiss him. “Tell me.”
“My father was a member of Le Milieu. There are various names, but for simplicity we’ll call it the French mob.
He was a beaux voyous—an enforcer. He forced me to follow him as soon as I had some muscle on me.
Took me with him on beatings, cripplings, killings.
” It was difficult to speak when his jaw was this tight.
“I killed my first man when I was fourteen.”
In the faint light, he could see her eyes widen. “You were only a baby.”
Not a baby, more like a monster. One of them had begged for mercy. “At first, the people deserved death. I checked. But…”
He heard her sigh. “They didn’t care—or were testing you?”
“Oui. I was ordered to cripple an old man—a shopkeeper who wouldn’t pay protection money. I…refused.”
“Oh no.” On top of him, her body went tense. “What happened?”
“I received a…painful…lesson.” They’d called in one of the biggest enforcers. Merde, it had hurt. “My father helped beat me. Maman was furious.”
“Damn him. Did your mom grab you and run?”
“She…loved him. Hated the life, hated what he planned for me, but…” But not enough to leave. “Pas assez pour me sauver. Not enough to save me.” The realization still hurt.
“With Papa’s permission, she sent me to her aunt in Paris until I could recover.
” His eyes had been swollen shut, fingers, nose, ribs broken.
Unable to even walk. “While I was in Paris, there was a…bloody reshuffling of the organization. Almost everyone on my father’s side of the family was murdered.
” He had to pause to keep his voice even. “Including my parents.”
“Oh, Drake.” She hugged him hard, and he could feel the trickle of tears on his bare chest. She was crying…for him? The wonder silenced him.
“And it happened when you were mad at them.”
She’d pinpointed the heart of his misery. “Oui. Any chance of reconciliation was lost.”
“And you loved them, despite everything.” She sniffed. “I’m so sorry. For all of it.”
“My aunt…” He shook his head, remembering her white face. Her fear. “She was afraid the organization would also come after me, so she sent me to my uncle here in the States.” He stroked his hand over Ray’s silky hair.
“I’m so glad you had him.” She pushed up slightly to kiss him again. “No wonder you have nightmares.”
“Thank you, mon amour.” He actually felt his heart lighten. “Talking to you did help. Je t’aime.”
“But you said you go back to France once or twice a year. Aren’t you worried someone might still come after you?”
“Non, the organization’s leadership has turned over. No one is interested in me.”
“There’s a relief.”
He frowned. Her body was still tense. Had this brought up her own past? Did she worry her own monsters were still out there?
The thought was infuriating. As he kissed her, he made himself a vow: He would do everything in his power to ensure she never had to fear for her safety.