Chapter 14
“Can you believe I’m nervous?” My mother laughs softly while checking herself out in her compact, adding a little more powder to her nose as she talks. “James is the one thing in life I’ve ever been completely sure of, but I’m still jittery.”
I’ll try not to take that personally. “You look beautiful. And you know he loves you. You have nothing to be nervous about.”
“I just want everything to go off without a hitch. For once, I need everything to be perfect.”
“It will be.” I’m not even thinking about what I’m saying anymore.
The words flow out of me like I’m a robot.
I feel numb more than anything else. I’m still angry, but it’s cooled to a simmer.
It has to since I can’t spend the entire day full of fiery, murderous rage.
I’m still going to have to play nice and pretend to be part of a happy family today.
“This is it. This is the start of our new life. Finally, I’m going to get what I deserve.
” I turn away from her, looking out the car window as the driver takes us the rest of the way to the venue.
I know better than to correct her. Besides, she didn’t make a mistake.
She’s only thinking about herself, as usual. She doesn’t care about what I deserve.
At least I have an excuse to separate from her once we get inside, where guests are already filing in through the front door while we sneak in through the side. “You’ll sit up front,” she tells me before pausing so the photographer can get a shot of her—without me in it, of course.
“I’m not walking down the aisle in front of you?”
“No,” she says with a laugh, looking at me like I’m out of my mind.
There I was, thinking I was her bridesmaid or something.
There I go again, assuming the best from her.
“You’ll sit in the front row, but you’re not going to stand up with me.
Nobody is going to steal the focus from me today.
” If anything, this is preferable to standing up in front of everybody so they can see me, the girl who got raped by her stepbrother last night.
And here he is, taking a seat in the front row across the aisle separating us. He and Nix both look impressive in their fancy tuxedos. They might even be able to fool people into thinking they’re decent. I won’t let myself look at them. I won’t give them the satisfaction.
As usual, I have no choice in the situation. “Ew. Look at her. She’s barely wearing anything.”
My body goes stiff, my blood turns to ice, and my skin pebbles with goose bumps. I would know Deborah’s voice anywhere. “She can’t even help but be trashy today of all days. I can’t believe you were ever friends with her. I swear, sometimes I still wonder about you, Piper.”
She’s here, too? I slide a look to my right from the corner of my eye, and my stomach drops.
Deborah and Piper are my stepbrothers’ dates.
Unbelievable. It’s like every aspect of their lives has to ruin mine somehow.
The girls are wearing beautiful dresses, both of which are a normal length compared to mine.
When Piper winds her arm through Colt’s, I know she’s his date.
If I thought it would make a difference, I’d tell her what he did to me last night, but she would only find it funny.
Again, I have to call upon the part of my mind I toughened up for competition. They can’t get to me. They’re nothing, people with no lives at all. I would like to think if I was popular and came from a wealthy family, I would be a little nicer to people.
Today is about Mom and James, anyway. When the music begins, and we all rise, it gives me an excuse to turn my attention in that direction.
She glides down the aisle, her eyes sparkling with tears, both hands wrapped around a bouquet of enormous white roses so fragrant their aroma wafts my way before she’s anywhere close to me.
She hands me the bouquet and, strictly for show, leans down to kiss my cheek before taking James’s hand—he’s handsome as always, beaming at his bride.
It’s a very nice ceremony, pretty heartfelt. Mom only breaks down crying twice, giving James the opportunity to give her his handkerchief so everyone in attendance can swoon a little. I know she must be loving this. She’ll be riding this high for ages.
It’s a short event, at least, and before I know it, James and Mom are kissing, and Mom is outstretching a hand to take her bouquet back.
I clap along with the rest of the guests as they pass, though unfortunately, my gaze brushes against Colt’s, and an icy chill runs through me, thanks to his knowing sneer.
There’s no escaping them when we head upstairs for the reception, either, even though I try to lose myself in the crowd. The seats have already been assigned, and I have the misfortune of sitting with my family, of course. Meaning I have to sit with the girls, too.
“You’re here alone, Leni?” Deborah asks with an edge to her voice. “Wow, I’m so surprised. You’re usually so popular.”
I ignore her, taking my seat across from where she’s sitting. This won’t last forever. It’s only a few hours. And so many people are around. What’s the worst she could do to me? All right, maybe I don’t need to ask myself that question.
“Congratulations! Your father looked so happy.” I don’t know the person standing next to Colt’s chair, but she’s gushing like she’s never been to a wedding before.
“Thanks, it’s been a great day,” he replies with an easy smile.
“Is this your girlfriend?” she asks, gesturing toward Piper. Her cheeks flush, and she lowers her gaze, giggling. “So pretty. You make a beautiful couple.”
“What about us?” Nix slings an arm around Deborah’s shoulders, and she laughs uproariously while leaning against him.
“I’m blinded by the beauty at this table.” The woman shields her eyes, and everybody laughs at their shared joke. Then she glances my way, frowns, and walks off. Mom hasn’t taken her seat beside me yet, so maybe it’s not clear who I am, but still. How rude.
Now that I think about it, does anybody here know who I am?
Did anybody bother learning about the bride and her family?
More importantly, did Mom bother to tell anybody she has a daughter?
Deborah shoots me an evil look from across the table, and I pointedly look away, glad to see waitstaff coming out with trays full of food.
If we’re eating, we are one step closer to this being over.
Mom and James take their seats, having been busy getting their pictures taken.
Though, even as everybody’s dining, there’s no end to the visits from other guests.
Everybody gushes over the guys, how grown up they are, the sort of small talk people make at events like this when they don’t know what else to say.
Since nobody knows who I am and none of my family goes out of their way to introduce me, I sit silent, eating my food and minding my business.
A hush falls over the room when someone gets on a microphone and announces the first dance is about to begin. “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the bride and groom to share their special moment.” Immediately, dozens of cameras are lifted into the air so everybody can capture this.
There’s so much happiness all around me, so many smiles, even a few tears as James expertly guides my mother across the dance floor.
She’s beaming, obviously in heaven. I want to be happy for her.
I really do. Maybe once she’s happy and feeling secure now that she’s Mrs. Alistair, she’ll ease up on me a little.
There won’t be as much of an excuse to resent me.
I find myself welling up with hopeful tears by the time the song’s over, and James treats Mom to a deep dip that leaves the crowd gasping and applauding in appreciation.
It’s a perfect moment, like something out of a movie. I know she’s living it up.
Now that that’s over, the floor is open for anybody who wants to dance.
The plates are being cleared away, and many of the guests are getting up to enjoy the open bar.
I can’t help but sigh in relief when Colt and Nix take their dates to get drinks, even though we’re all underage.
Things like that just don’t matter when you’re in their position, I guess.
“Sitting here all alone?” James is smiling as he approaches, one hand extended. “That hardly seems fair.”
Yikes. As nice as he is for offering, I don’t know if I want the attention. “I’m not much of a dancer,” I admit, even though the DJ chose another slow song. That can’t be too difficult, swaying back and forth.
“Do you want to know a secret?” He leans down a little, eyes twinkling.
“Neither is your mom. But I made her look good, didn’t I?
” It has the desired effect, making me laugh and loosening me up.
“Come on. It’ll be fine. There’s nothing to it.
” I can almost believe him as I place my hand in his and stand, allowing him to lead me onto the floor.
“You know,” he murmurs as he drapes an arm around my waist while taking my right hand in his left.
“It’s not always going to be like this. The awkwardness.
I see it—I didn’t want to bring it up, is all.
But I do see how uncomfortable things have been for you, and I’m sorry.
I’ve been quiet about it up until now because I didn’t want to rock the boat before the wedding.
I’m sure that everything will loosen up now. It just takes time to adjust.”
I can almost believe him. I want to. Who wouldn’t? I hate what my life has become. It was one thing when I lived only with Mom and had to avoid her for fear of her temper and the ugly things that came out of her mouth. But now?
I almost want to tell him what happened last night, but I wouldn’t dare. Not here, not now. “I’m sure you’re right,” I murmur.
“Besides, brothers are supposed to make their sisters a little crazy. But don’t you worry. If they ever cross the line, you can always come to me. I’ll always be here for you. I want you to know that.”
“Thank you. That means a lot.”
He is a very good dancer, surprisingly graceful and light on his feet. He almost makes me believe I’m good at this. “You know, you do look very lovely tonight. Almost as lovely as the bride herself.”
“Not hardly.” Mom looks like a princess, a queen, seeming to glow from all the way across the room where she’s snapping photos with guests.
He smiles across the room at his bride. “We’re finally going to be one big, happy family. I believe that with all my heart.”
I’m glad one of us does. It’s obvious he doesn’t know who his sons truly are. I would hate to burst his bubble and ruin his illusions.
When the dance is over, I excuse myself to go to the ladies’ room.
It’s funny—even though nobody is really paying me any attention, I’m still overwhelmed and want to be alone for a few minutes, at least. It’s quieter in here, secluded, even cooler without so many bodies heating things up.
I take advantage of that by sitting on a stool in front of a long mirror spanning the wall opposite the sectioned-off toilets.
Maybe I can stay in here all night, pretend to be an attendant.
I’m sure nobody would know the difference, anyway, since I hardly exist.
“I thought I saw you crawl in here.” I look up from where I’m rubbing my feet to see Deborah entering, a glass of red wine in one hand and an ugly smirk etched across her face.
“Can you please give it up for just one night?” I ask. “This isn’t the time or the place. I want to keep things nice for my mom.”
“Then you should have stayed home. Nobody wants to see your ugly face around here.”
“Whatever you say.”
Clearly, that isn’t enough for her. She wants to watch me break down. Nothing short of that will satisfy her. “So you agree? You’re ugly, and nobody wants to see you around?”
“Deborah, it’s not that I’m normally in the mood for this, but I am especially not in the mood right now. I don’t know what you want me to say besides we’re not in high school anymore.” You’d think she’d act more like an adult. I know we’re only eighteen, but geez, we’re not twelve.
“You could say goodbye.”
I stand, sliding back into my shoes and facing her. “You want me to say goodbye? Fine. I’m leaving the room.”
“No. That’s not quite good enough.”
I can’t help but gasp in horror when she tosses the entire content of her glass at me. The red wine splashes onto my dress, and crimson immediately soaks into the light-colored fabric. The cold liquid seeps into my dress and my skin before dripping down my legs and onto my heels.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I whisper, looking down at myself. It’s ruined, there’s no getting this out, and I can’t imagine sitting through the rest of the night looking this way. Mom is going to have a fit.
She giggles, shrugging when I look up from the disaster she caused.
I already feel the wine soaking through the satin and onto my skin.
“I guess you’ll have to go home. Trust me, it’s better this way for everybody.
” She even pats me on the arm like she’s being sympathetic before strolling out of the bathroom and leaving me stained and sticky.
I guess she’s getting what she wanted. I can’t stay around here like this.
I doubt anybody will notice I’m gone, anyway.
I pull out my phone to order an Uber, which thankfully isn’t far from the venue.
I only have to wait a few more minutes, trying in vain to dab away the worst of the stain before ducking out, almost running for the door before anybody sees me like this.
And as I go, the sounds of music and laughter follow me. Everybody else is having the time of their lives while I slink away, embarrassed. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this alone.