Chapter 12
NIX
After the rest of the week passes, I know one thing for sure: She hasn’t told him.
She couldn’t have, or else Colt would burn the city down looking for me.
The emails he’s been sending haven’t changed, either, which is another clue.
He would’ve sent me another message immediately if he thought for sure I was alive and close enough to where he lives that it’s within walking distance.
A long walk, but what else do I have to fill my time?
I walked tonight, since there’s never a guarantee I’ll be able to get a parking space close to their apartment.
So I hang out across the street in an alley, staring up at their apartment.
Sometimes I lose track of time while I do it, standing for hours.
I watch their shadows move across the ceiling and imagine what they’re doing up there. I don’t deserve to be any part of it.
At least one good thing came out of showing her my face: she hasn’t been around the neighborhood since. She learned her lesson. For all I know, she’s more scared of me than she is of the other dangers out there, but that’s fine. It’s better if she hates me, if she’s scared of me. She should be.
I can’t stand the anticipation. Knowing he has to leave at some point.
He can’t stay home forever, right? Not my brother.
It seems like they spend a lot of time together, but he’s going to need time on his own.
He can’t change everything about himself just because of the woman in his life.
Even one he’s as obsessed with as he is with Leni.
It feels like a lifetime passes while I wait.
Cars roll by, people talk on their phones or text while walking.
No one notices me, because people don’t look into the darkness.
They don’t want to see what’s in the shadows.
I have come to rely on that, and it’s kept me safe all these months. Anonymous.
They may as well not exist. There is one person I need to see, the person I’ve been waiting for every time I stand here and watch. He has to leave her alone sometime. He can’t be with her always.
The front door to the building swings open, and my chest goes tight at the sight of my brother.
I’ve seen him so many times, always from a distance, but I’ve never been gladder than I am tonight.
He’s on his phone, oblivious, climbing behind the wheel of his car and pulling away without looking toward where I’m waiting for him to go.
My blood is pumping, my body seized by anticipation.
The longer he’s kept me waiting, the more time I’ve had to plan out what comes next.
I have to force myself to wait a minute, making sure he doesn’t come back, before crossing the street with my head down and my shoulders hunched.
Will she be surprised to see me? She shouldn’t be.
She should know me well enough by now to know I couldn’t possibly leave things the way they were the last time we saw each other.
The security in this building is a joke. No one bothers to stop me as I cross the lobby, probably because people don’t pay attention to someone who walks with purpose. Another thing I’ve learned, living the way I do. It’s been a real education.
And tonight, Leni will get an education.
She’s going to learn she never should have kicked the hornet’s nest. She should’ve left things the way they were instead of coming to look for me.
All she did was convince me to do this, because something deep inside her can’t stay away from me any more than I can stay away from her.
She’s so trusting, she doesn’t bother looking through the peephole before opening the door at my knock.
How do I know? Because she falls back a step with a gasp when she recognizes me standing in front of her.
“Nix! What are you doing here?” Her face goes white as a sheet before she bites her lip, wincing.
“I thought you said you didn’t want him—”
That’s enough out of her. When I lunge, throwing myself into the apartment, her only reaction is to fall back a few stumbling steps.
Her mouth opens like she’s about to scream, but I’m too quick, slamming the door shut with one hand and grabbing for her with the other.
I have an arm around her waist and a hand over her mouth before she knows what’s happening.
“I told you, didn’t I?” Fuck, I forgot about this.
What it’s like to have her so close to me, her body moving against mine, so warm and full and firm.
I can fantasize all I want, but there’s not a fantasy in existence that could come close to the real thing.
Her muffled cries, her breath hitting the top of my hand, her tits rubbing against my chest. I’m already rigid, straining against my zipper, and it only gets worse the more she wiggles and struggles.
“This is what I’ve been dreaming about all these months.
” She stops whimpering and goes silent, listening to me, her eyes still wide with fear that only excites me more.
Like every part of her was created to get me off.
“Taking you like this. Waiting for him to leave so I could have you the way I want you.”
Now there’s not only fear in her eyes. There’s anger, a hardness that wasn’t there before. Good, let her think she’s strong. Let her think she’s got any say in what’s happening.
Her squeals rise in pitch when I lift her off her feet, which she kicks uselessly in the air.
“Where’s your bedroom? Let’s get reacquainted.
” She won’t stop screaming behind my hand, tiring herself out when there’s nothing that’s going to stop me.
Even if Colt walked in this very minute, it wouldn’t be enough to stop me.
Not now I’ve started. I’ve gotten a taste of the forbidden fruit that’s been held back from me all this time.
Like whetting my appetite. I only want more, right this minute.
Their bedroom is down the hall, and I’m happy to see the headboard with its iron bars against the wall.
It’s perfect for what I have in mind. I feel like I’m living out a dream right now, which I guess I am.
A dream that’s been growing for a long time.
Having her like this, totally at my mercy, with no one calling the shots but me.
Nobody telling me how to touch her or where, just me following my needs.
Dropping her on the bed, I reach behind me to pull the coiled length of vinyl rope from where I tucked it into the back of my jeans. Her gasp fills the room when she sees it, and right away, she tries to scramble backward. “No! Not like this! Why are you doing this?”
I barely hear her, completely focused on what’s about to happen.
She manages to back away a little bit, but all it takes is grabbing one of her ankles and pulling hard to make her slide back toward me over the silky striped duvet.
“That’s right, keep fighting,” I urge, my heart pounding in anticipation.
This is already so good, and it’s only going to get better.
“Please!” she sobs, but she should save her energy. Nothing’s going to stop me now.
It takes no time to grab a hold of her wrists, binding them together with the rope, making her wince in pain when I cinch it tight. “That hurts! You don’t have to do this! Why are you doing this, Nix?”
“I already told you.” Does she think the answer is going to change? I honestly don’t care. I’m having too much fun. “I need this, I need you, all of you,” I confess, not knowing if she is even listening to me.
She’s still kicking and twisting, though, as I move her closer to the head of the bed. She even tries to fight against me, raising her arms so I can’t tie the rope to the headboard, and all I can do is laugh. “All you’re doing is making this take longer than it has to,” I warn, laughing again.
Deeper fear touches her eyes—she might as well be licking my cock. It’s so enticing and exciting to see. “I don’t want to do this. Please, stop!”
I don’t care. It’s never mattered what she wants, not when it comes to this. Nothing has changed. I’m in control of her when it comes to sex. I need that from her, the monster inside me hungers for it.
Once she’s secured, arms over her head, I take a second to admire what I’ve missed out on for too long.
Her soft, plaid pajama pants and thin tank top hint at what I’ve already touched, tasted.
Her chest is heaving—after all that fighting, her tits have almost worked their way out.
Her nipples stand out hard against the cotton, and the sight of them makes my mouth water.
That’s what I want first, leaning over her and pulling the shirt up to her armpits. Her pert nipples are begging to be licked, so that’s what I do, bending down to drag my tongue around one while squeezing the other tit, rolling the nipple between my fingers while she writhes and squirms.
She tastes so good! I can’t help but rub myself through my jeans, aching, dying for the pleasure of being inside her. So hungry for her body, moving down to her navel and back up again with my tongue, nipping and licking, painting her skin.
“You… You shouldn’t do this!” She bucks and rolls like a wave, harder the further down I go. “What if Colt comes back? He won’t be gone long. You have to stop!”
Who does she think she’s kidding? There’s not as much fight in her voice anymore. Already, she’s weak for me. She knows she wants this as much as I do. She can’t help but give in when I make her feel this good.
“If you don’t stop,” I whisper, lifting my head. “I’m going to have to fill your mouth to shut you up. Is that what you want? Are you hoping I’ll give you my cock?”
She closes her mouth, pressing her lips together, shaking her head. Her nostrils flare with every sharp breath, and those breaths only come quicker when I climb between her legs and work my fingers under the waistband of her pants.